I need a responsible adult!

[Orwar]

   So it has been quite the awkward atmosphere on the forums over the past few weeks, and whilst the moderators used to be quite quick with putting down derailed threads or putting meanies on the bench, things right now just seem to keep on going. Are the moderators okay? We miss you. Please come back - we'll behave (occasionally, at least)! 

   In all seriousness though, plenty of people I've spoken to are taking a sabbatical from the forums, or minimize their presence due to being ran off by being flamed. We really could use someone to pinch our ears every now and then - myself included - to get the forums back to its usual self again. One would think that with the pandemic going on, we'd see an increase of active participants, instead we appear to see an increase of activity from certain participants, and fewer people actually wanting to participate. Everything gets derailed and set on fire, even threads meant for people to share their feelings get so out of hand that they get closed, and the picture threads I've almost stopped looking at or participating in because of the annoying spamming of re-posts and selectively sycophantic behaviour which has already merited warning of closure of those threads, is now rampant. 

   Also, overtly sexualised, apparently under-aged avatars appearing in photos. That used to be frowned upon. And politics. There's been a lot of that lately, and the personal attacks that come with it.

   Please come back. I may even bake you some cookies if you do!*

   *or, you know, steal them from a girl scout and present them to you - but still, cookies!

Edited June 4, 2020 by Orwar

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Responsible adult?

Damn. I don't qualify . . .

[FairreLilette]

To speak about the forums if I could.  I suggested, off topically, in a thread that was rather "heated" what about leaving this area as a General Discussion on Second Life and to move or create another GENERAL OFF TOPIC forum that is not so front and center on the forums.

I am suggesting this because first of all this is a business and we are guests of LL.  

So, perhaps to benefit the business, I was thinking maybe to make an OFF TOPIC section for the forum that is not so front and center such as maybe below the Adult Section of the Forum as I don't think our bickering and some of the pie throwing is good for SL nor ourselves as a community.  We are a diverse community who really came together to be on SL, politics aside, unless it's a politically themed event inworld. 

As far as under-aged avatars appearing recently, I did not notice.   

 

Edited June 4, 2020 by FairreLilette

[Lyssa Greymoon]

Sorry, can’t help you, I’m American.

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

I've noticed quite a bit of clean up in one thread today, for what it's worth.

[FairreLilette]

2 hours ago, Orwar said:

 Also, overtly sexualised, apparently under-aged avatars appearing in photos

If you meant in the "How Does Your Avatar Look Today" thread or "The Vanity Thread"...I haven't visited those lately.  I thought you meant the avatar photos that appear by our posts.  

So, I'm not sure where you saw this.  But, as far as avatar photos appearing by our posts, I didn't notice any.  

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Orwar said:

Everything gets derailed and set on fire, even threads meant for people to share their feelings get so out of hand that they get closed, and the picture threads I've almost stopped looking at or participating in because of the annoying spamming of re-posts and selectively sycophantic behaviour which has already merited warning of closure of those threads, is now rampant.

*coughs*

So, pretending for a moment that I actually am a responsible adult . . .

I think maybe you're conflating two very different problems here?

Yeah, the full-on nuclear exchanges in GD have been awful, as has been the trolling of late. But they do get cleaned up (and a HUGE thank you to @Kristen Linden for doing such a wonderful job with the BLM thread, and allowing it to continue being, I hope, a positive thing here. That must have been a horrible task!).

But I think that talking about flame wars and trolls in the same breath that you are complaining about people actually saying too many nice things about people's pictures is a bit silly, to say the least. I know that you get annoyed at having to scroll past "quoted" pics to see new ones -- but that's clearly a different thing than what was happening in the BLM thread (to cite just a recent example). How appropriate it is to re-post other people's pics is a reasonable subject of discussion, but calling for the mods to deal with it in the way that they handle trolls? Come on.

Also . . . "sycophantic"? Really? That's unnecessarily ungenerous and mean. And, at the same time, rather hilarious, in that you're calling out "selectively sycophantic" posts. What bothers you more: the fact they are "sycophantic," or that they are "selective"? Would you feel better if they were more indiscriminate? I thought your point was that re-posting was a blight, but you seem to want to spread out more of the niceness?

We don't need mods weeding the picture threads. We need to have discussions about how we work together as a community there, and find solutions that accommodate everyone.

[Akane Nacht]

3 hours ago, Orwar said:

In all seriousness though, plenty of people I've spoken to are taking a sabbatical from the forums, or minimize their presence due to being ran off by being flamed.

I took a long break from looking at these forums, simply because I had other stuff to entertain me, and when I returned the other day it was pretty much same stuff, slightly different talking points. People like to vent, but getting caught up in it  can fuel and amplify anger. A few take a more positive spin and try to encourage laughter. I wouldn't get too upset about it, just take a break, do something fun, and come back later if you want to. Anyone who is flaming other people is in a dark place, and that's sad but not a lot you can do about it. Considering what 2020 has been like so far, this forum is actually a pretty tame online hangout. One can hope people would be kinder to one another but.. eh.. that's people for ya.

Peace 🙂

 

[Gatogateau]

I like posting as the cat, so I don't count. Well, Seicher doesn't either, being an adult is a claim to which I've never boasted. I'm never really terribly sure if I'm one of the meanies for the bench or not (and I'm absolutely sure I am to a handful of people but its mutual, so...meh...its the others I wonder about ... but I tend to be paranoid). I *kinda* get where you're going with this thread and kinda not. I do think the Forum has been a bit of a **** show for the past few months. More than usual. There are always kerfuffles in the Forum no matter when. Always. There can be the random epic thread. But since lockdown? Looney Tunes. Like the "Feelings" thread that was generally a bright spot for some, flaming **** show.  

I think the moderation has been good at times and horrific at times. That hasn't helped.

I'm not sure what you're on about with the photo threadS. I stopped going to one, for various stated reasons and haven't been back to even read. Other photo threads seem ok? The one I follow, not super closely (I should), seems to be doing ok.

New posters are a good idea in theory. We've had an influx of dubious ones and an awful lot of maybe people using multiple accounts, not to a good result.

Dunno. I'm not an adult of any species, so I guess I shouldn't even be posting here, let alone ramble. :::mopes off to look for a snack:::

 

Edited June 5, 2020 by Gatogateau

[Jordyn McGregor]

I'm still gonna limit my time here, and think I shall stick to the fluffy, mindless and fun threads where I don't get called a "Karen" or troll for having a differing opinion.  

But I do agree, you do need adult supervision!!!!

[Marigold Devin]

.

Edited June 5, 2020 by Marigold Devin
I'm not even in the mood for my own opinions today.

[JUSTUS Palianta]

You should know better then having a different opinion on here people will beat you down until you think like them or shut up :D I like this thread, thank you.

Edited June 5, 2020 by JUSTUS Palianta
Edited in case people think my lack of use of caps and full stops discredits my opinion.

[Tarani Tempest]

2 hours ago, Jordan Whitt said:

I'm still gonna limit my time here, and think I shall stick to the fluffy, mindless and fun threads where I don't get called a "Karen" or troll for having a differing opinion.  

But I do agree, you do need adult supervision!!!!

Trying not to derail, buuuut ....I just have to say, I feel for all the Karens out there , that are not actually "Karens".  They now have to deal with the fact that their name is now a new hip and trendy pejorative

[Tolya Ugajin]

17 hours ago, Orwar said:

   So it has been quite the awkward atmosphere on the forums over the past few weeks, and whilst the moderators used to be quite quick with putting down derailed threads or putting meanies on the bench, things right now just seem to keep on going. Are the moderators okay? We miss you. Please come back - we'll behave (occasionally, at least)! 

   In all seriousness though, plenty of people I've spoken to are taking a sabbatical from the forums, or minimize their presence due to being ran off by being flamed. We really could use someone to pinch our ears every now and then - myself included - to get the forums back to its usual self again. One would think that with the pandemic going on, we'd see an increase of active participants, instead we appear to see an increase of activity from certain participants, and fewer people actually wanting to participate. Everything gets derailed and set on fire, even threads meant for people to share their feelings get so out of hand that they get closed, and the picture threads I've almost stopped looking at or participating in because of the annoying spamming of re-posts and selectively sycophantic behaviour which has already merited warning of closure of those threads, is now rampant. 

   Also, overtly sexualised, apparently under-aged avatars appearing in photos. That used to be frowned upon. And politics. There's been a lot of that lately, and the personal attacks that come with it.

   Please come back. I may even bake you some cookies if you do!*

   *or, you know, steal them from a girl scout and present them to you - but still, cookies!

Personally, I've cut down my own presence here because of the behavior you cite.  I'm tired of getting into back and forths with people who insist on misrepresenting what I say and cannot be bothered to consider any viewpoint beyond their own without claiming the other person is evil in some way, while others go out of their way to find outrage in the stupidest things.  A couple weeks ago I stumbled across my old Wii and have been playing it a lot rather than spending time in here, coinciding with the period you're saying things have been awkward, so I guess I'm happy the awkwardness isn't me.

Still, I don't think it's a moderator issue.  It's a people issue.  Too many people so angry with the world that, probably to protect their psyches, retreat into a siege mindset rather than an explorative one.

But, I'll gladly eat your cookies.

[Tolya Ugajin]

13 hours ago, Gatogateau said:

I like posting as the cat, so I don't count. Well, Seicher doesn't either, being an adult is a claim to which I've never boasted. I'm never really terribly sure if I'm one of the meanies for the bench or not (and I'm absolutely sure I am to a handful of people but its mutual, so...meh...its the others I wonder about ... but I tend to be paranoid). I *kinda* get where you're going with this thread and kinda not. I do think the Forum has been a bit of a **** show for the past few months. More than usual. There are always kerfuffles in the Forum no matter when. Always. There can be the random epic thread. But since lockdown? Looney Tunes. Like the "Feelings" thread that was generally a bright spot for some, flaming **** show.  

I think the moderation has been good at times and horrific at times. That hasn't helped.

I'm not sure what you're on about with the photo threadS. I stopped going to one, for various stated reasons and haven't been back to even read. Other photo threads seem ok? The one I follow, not super closely (I should), seems to be doing ok.

New posters are a good idea in theory. We've had an influx of dubious ones and an awful lot of maybe people using multiple accounts, not to a good result.

Dunno. I'm not an adult of any species, so I guess I shouldn't even be posting here, let alone ramble. :::mopes off to look for a snack:::

 

If you want a snack, I suggest my back deck.  You can join the 2 (that I've seen so far) brand new kittens, bringing to a total of 7 feral cats who are regulars (along with a couple other occasional visitors) begging for food.

:::grabs a plastic grocery bag and stomps off to pick up a week's worth of cat food cans cluttering the deck while wondering when Chewie will get here with the next 48 pounds of dry cat food for these pests:::

[Gatogateau]

8 minutes ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

If you want a snack, I suggest my back deck.  You can join the 2 (that I've seen so far) brand new kittens, bringing to a total of 7 feral cats who are regulars (along with a couple other occasional visitors) begging for food.

:::grabs a plastic grocery bag and stomps off to pick up a week's worth of cat food cans cluttering the deck while wondering when Chewie will get here with the next 48 pounds of dry cat food for these pests:::

Awww. You big softie.

Here's a project for you, should you choose to accept it. A long time ago, in a land far away, I used to work on several large county tasks forces about feral cat over-population. The best way to reduce the numbers is to Trap, Test, Neuter, Release. Often you can find a vet who is willing to work with you to get reduced pricing if you let them know what you are doing. Also possibly shelters. Dunno. But "trap" is obvious. Test is for FeLV, to keep the population healthy. Neuter and release also obvious. Just a thought.

Oddly,  if you just remove the ferals they will be replaced by others, due to a fill-the-vacuum effect of territories. 

TMI, I know. I just had to.

ETA: More info you didn't want to know. TTNR also keeps the feral population alive and healthier for longer. You weed out FeLV. You also lower the fighting and its damages when the fighting is due to kitties wanting teh sex.

Edited June 5, 2020 by Gatogateau

[Drakonadrgora Darkfold]

a lot of people claim to be adults but are they really an adult or just a child trying to act like one. age doesn't make one an adult. even the moderators could be considered acting not adult at times in their own behavior if someone really wanted to. everyone has opinions and feelings and views, no one single person or group is more entitled to show theirs or express theirs then anyone else. but some here like to think that is not true.

thing is you have to learn to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve and thinking everyone is going to be nice all the time. especially considering all the other things happening in the world today. stop thinking the forums are your personal escape from that, they are not; but a lot of people want to think that is what they are here for.

the internet is full of different kinds of people and they will clash when they come across each other, that is how the internet and forums work. Its not always going to be all nice and pretty and friendly all the time. that is not how the world works and the internet and the forums are just an extension of the world, not something different.

if you let what others say or do on the internet control you, it proves your not as mature as you might want to think you are. if you let it stress you or anger you or hurt you, that is a YOU problem and not a them problem.

people dont have to care how you feel if they choose not to. no one here on these forums is important or special or valuable enough that the forums cannot afford to loose them for a short time or extended time.

the forums are not some escape from reality place. but it seems like a lot of people think that is what they are meant to be. if you need the forums to be your safe place then you have a lot of other problems and probably need to seek rl offline personal help via a counselor or someone else.

[BelindaN]

We've tried to keep the avi pic threads on topic ever since I've been on it. I'm just as guilty as most for quoting/commenting, but when this goes into multiples, it gets irritating.

I don't have time for long exchanges, so I just don't get involved. 

For me, forums are my casual telephone time. In world is when I have time to get my laptop out, and right now I have more time in world than before lockdown.

Now I'll stop rambling on.

[Ceka Cianci]

I am considered A responsible adult by it's legal definition..

I'm an adult and responsible for my three children and my childish husband..

hehehehe

[Neilina]

Graham Chapman: I think all right thinking people in this country are sick and tired of being told that ordinary, decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired.

All: Yes, yes...

Graham Chapman: I'm certainly not! And I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.

Not Sure?: Mrs. Havoc-Jones.

Mrs. Havoc-Jones: Well, I meet a lot of people and I'm convinced that the vast majority of wrong thinking people are right.

[Sukubia Scarmon]

Funny how it's always the others who do the bad stuff, huh? 

[Beth Macbain]

Forums 2020

Poster A - I think bananas are shaped like watermelons.

Poster B - No, they're shaped like bananas. Here's the proof. (Presents a series of graphs, charts, photos, videos, and banana experts showing that bananas are shaped like bananas.

Poster A - I don't care, I think bananas are shaped like watermelons and I'll die on this hill.

Poster B - Okay, that's your opinion but generally bananas are shaped like bananas.

Poster C - I agree, bananas are shaped like bananas.

Poster D - Yes, bananas are shaped like bananas.

Poster E - Poster A is allowed to have her opinion that bananas are shaped like watermelons and you're all a bunch of bullies for saying she is wrong and that bananas are shaped like bananas!

Posters B, C, and D - Well, I mean... bananas ARE shaped like bananas. 

Poster E -  See? You're all terrible bullies and EVIL!

Posters B, C, and D - Seriously, just stop.

Poster E - You can't tell me what to say, you big evil bullies. I can say you're bullies and there's nothing you can do about it!

Posters B, C, and D - sigh

Poster A - I Just wanted to talk about banana shapes. I think I should leave.

Poster E - See? Bullies! YOU made her leave!

Posters B, C, and D - Well, actually...

Poster E - No! It was YOU! I had no part in this! You, you, and you are evil bad bullies and I said so!

Poster L(inden) - Closes thread.

Posters F through Z - Why can't everyone just behave and get along:?!

Poster A(lias) - I think watermelons are shaped like bananas.

Poster E - YAS GIRL! You speak your truth! 

Poster Q wanders in from the Land Forums: What? Bananas are shaped like bananas.

Poster E rubs her hands together.

Rinse, repeat, ad infinitum.

 

 

[Sylvia Tamalyn]

I just made a screenshot of that post of beauty. SO MUCH TRUTH. 

[kali Wylder]

If we just changed the OP's thread title a little bit I think we could FIFY

We need to act like responsible adults

[Sukubia Scarmon]

23 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Rinse, repeat, ad infinitum.

And that is the mistake everyone of us makes here. By reacting and partaking in that dance, we keep it alive. Dancing once or twice is okay - there's a chance of change! But if you see your dance partner always repeating the same moves, no change, no matter what music you play - you outta ask yourself why you keep bothering with it. And then you just stop. Let them dance alone if they want to. Spares you a lot of frustration in the long run.

I've done my dances with a few people, and I'm done with them for now. Feels good, but I get sometimes it's frustrating as well to see them argue and not retort. I just occupy myself otherwise, and I'll quickly forget about it anyway.