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Beth Macbain

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Everything posted by Beth Macbain

  1. What did hammocks ever do to you?! 😝
  2. FWIW, we differ on opinions sometimes but I actually quite like you and think you would be an utterly fascinating person to sit with and just talk about life and experiences. And I think as far as being an unpopular poster, I’m right up there at the top (or is it down at the bottom?) with you. 😝
  3. There was no way this thread wasn’t going to go straight into the crapper. I hope some people feel better about having gotten in their punches.
  4. I can assure you that I have never panicked over anything I've seen on a forum. You may not like it, and that is your right, but believing there is panic in any of my words is ascribing your own bias to what you believe my emotional state is. As the person who actually feels the emotional states and having a considerable bit of knowledge as to what panic feels like vs. every other emotion, I can assure you that you are wrong when you make those claims about my mental state. 1. Post something critical about Trump. See if I panic. Post something critical of religion. Or mushrooms. Bananas. Chihuahuas. Blue ink. Kawaii. Gothic castles, etc., etc., etc., because I promise you there are plenty of things I despise. Oh, bullying, too. I hate that. Guess what, though... when I post about things I don't like, I know that there are others who love the very same things I hate that are likely going to defend those things. It happens. It's the freaking internet. 2. I could give you the list of things LL has done that have absolutely pissed me off, but those things are between myself and LL. I have made them known to those who have power to actually do something and, oddly enough, I see results. Go figure. 3. You're simply wrong. There is a vast difference between discussing things and what is happening in the "Those Crazy Neighbors" thread. There are some who are actually trying to figure out if something is violating the covenant, and then there are some that are posting things that they know full well are (or actually aren't) and are just trying to shame people and impose their own definition of good taste, and taste is very subjective. Those people obviously like those things or they wouldn't be using them. I'm certain I have things in my homes that others would find distasteful. I'm willing to be you do, too. And putting people on blast on a public forum because you don't like their taste is unkind and unnecessary. There is a mechanism in place to report people who are actually breaking the covenant. I think publicly shaming people who have no way to defend themselves because they don't know they've been publicly shamed is tacky AF, and I'm not likely to change my opinion on that because you don't approve.
  5. You can do whatever you like, sunshine! And I'm free to disagree with everything you ever say, though I actually don't. There have, in fact, been threads where we agreed with each other. It's almost like people can have different opinions on some things, and the same opinions on others, and not turn everything into a personal attack. Well, some of us can, anyway.
  6. Awwww... you decided to NOT be passive-aggressive for once and actually reply to me directly! Though it's not actually on the thread where you actually have the problem with me. As for whether or not I am willing to discuss things, I think you'll find several threads, if you look hard enough, where I'm wiling to discuss things almost literally to death. Just because you happen to not like my stance on a particular topic doesn't quite mean I think any subject is dangerous... but you go on with your bad self. Also, I didn't write the Community Guidelines. The policy against naming and shaming is there, so if you have an issue with it, take it up with LL.
  7. Is it an unpopular opinion to say that anyone who uses the R word is someone unworthy of attention or respect regarding of their so-called expertise?
  8. Or even the not-so-casual reader. I'm not sure about the discussion for clarity point, either, even though @Dakota Linden said it was fine. Governance are the only people with the authority to decide if something is or isn't a violation and I doubt they have so little to do that they're checking the forums to look for more things to add to their workloads, especially when they have multiple ARs for the same alleged violation.
  9. If that's your thing, boo. As long as the donors are willing donors.
  10. I think there should be a section of the forum that is anything goes. Politics, religion, whatever... just have at it. It'd be a dumpster fire, but at least it would be contained.
  11. I think this thread is dangerous and asking for trouble. I don't know if that's a popular or unpopular opinion, though.
  12. Accepted every one of those damn things and then remembered that I literally hate them all after about a day and deleted them. Felt good.
  13. Someone who would do that isn’t someone you want to be involved with anyway. He clearly realized he is no where near good enough for you and slunk away before you could send him! I’m still in some funky headspace but I finally assembled the stationary bike I bought myself for Christmas and spent about an hour and a half on it today, so that feels pretty good. I’m still trying to figure out where I’m supposed to put my ashtray and wine glass, though . 😝 My brother is being released from the psychiatric hospital tomorrow. I’m not sure if I’m happy or scared about that. Why’s life gotta be so damn hard?!
  14. TIL I’m not even in the top 3 most insane people on these forums. To keep it (sort of) on topic, I am still active though it’s been over a week since I logged in due to crap and stuff.
  15. And suddenly I remember that I’m actually not the most insane person on these forums...
  16. I'm honestly starting to question my sanity. I'm not just saying that in a flippant way - and it isn't entirely (or even mostly) related to this strange thread. It's been an incredibly stressful week in the real world due to some issues family members are having and worrying about them, as well as a great deal of stress surrounding my RL job. It's been rough enough that I've made appointments with a psychiatrist and therapist just for self-care purposes. Dealing with those things, and being aware that I'm on edge, anxiety-wise, has me questioning whether or not the gaslighting is real, or if I've truly gone stark-raving mad and just haven't realized it yet. I don't think I have, but then crazy people never think they're crazy.
  17. Honest to god, Amina... it's right here on page 2: No, you didn't explicitly say "ZOMGWTFBBQ YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY BLACKMAILING PEOPLE" but c'mon... You didn't say, "Some people might consider the approach some take to be emotional blackmail." Do you truly not understand why I might feel that you were saying my approach (which wasn't actually my approach at all) is emotional blackmail? Do you really not understand why I became defensive? FFS. @Scylla Rhiadra : Look at it like this: Someone posts here that they are, in real life, a trout. I then make a series of posts stating all the reasons that I think fish are wrong and should be in the ocean instead of Second Life because fish feel they're entitled to making everyone provide proof they're also a fish before they talk to them. I mean, I was talking about fish in general, not that particular fish who said she was a trout, right? There's absolutely no reason for her to take my statements personally and I'm utterly baffled as to why the trout would feel that she had been attacked for being a fish. I think most would understand why the trout would feel she had been attacked. I could say a thousand times that I didn't mean it personally, but no one would believe that I didn't include that particular trout in my reasons for why I think fish are wrong and should be in the ocean.
  18. I'm hesitant to even chime on about this at this point. I feel like anything I say just reads as if I'm flying off the handle. Somehow I've managed to last over a decade without this really being an issue, other than the one time where I was deliberately mislead, "deliberately" being the operative word there. I'm also unsure why it's so controversial that I want my boyfriend/partner/husband/whatever to have a Richard. As to how to reconcile these "incompatible understandings" , I don't think there is any one single way. When asked direct questions, I like @Innula Zenovka's approach: There are ways of being honest without answering the question. I have declined to give personal information countless times in SL when asked. I don't recall anyone ever being offended by that other than a few times when some random stranger demands I get on voice for him. When I'm getting to know someone, if there is a question in my mind about whether or not they are open to sharing any real life details, such as gender, I use other questions to get a feel for their stance. "Do you use Skype or Discord or email to talk to people outside of SL?" I believe that's a perfectly innocuous question that reveals not a single detail about any part of anything they may wish to keep private. If that answer is no, I know that they exist solely within SL, and I respect that. I may or may not back away from the relationship at that point. I do pay attention to profiles. I typically avoid people who have the line about keeping SL and RL separate, or anyone who has a role play character bio in their pics. I pay attention to the way they converse with me. Are they talking strictly about what they are doing in SL, or do they talk about what the weather is like where they are, or what they're making for dinner, or excuse themselves for a few minutes because their kid just came home? There are little clues that I pick up on, and I respect what they are telling me or showing me through their words and actions. I try to be as open as I can be about how I approach SL. No one that is in any sort of relationship with me is going to be surprised at any point that my desire is to have a relationship that extends beyond the confines of SL. There are also different degrees when it comes to "beyond the confines of SL". I've never been in a relationship that started in SL that has moved to meeting in RL, until the one I'm in now, and it's by absolute mutual agreement that at some point in the future we want to meet and explore the possibility of a full real world relationship. For those who I enter a relationship with, the information I want to know is really pretty basic - RL gender and time zone. Anything they want to share beyond that is up to them. The reason I want to know gender is two-fold. When it comes to sex in SL, if I'm doing it there, I'm also... er... taking care of things in RL as well. Otherwise I just feel like I'm writing a story and... meh. And I want my partner to be... involved... as well. Having sex with a man and having sex with a woman are two different things. What I do and say are different. There are actions and acts and descriptions. Remember, when engaging in this, I'm speaking to them not only as an avatar I'm seeing on screen, but also as a person sitting at their computer and... er... doing the things. Remember, please, that I'm talking of someone I am in a relationship with. If we've reached this point of intimacy, the other things have already been discussed and certain terms agreed on... by mutual agreement of both parties. The other reason I want to know is simply because I am a (mostly) heterosexual woman. I'd say I'm a 1 on the Kinsey scale. I have had women sexual partners but when it comes to intimate partner relationships, I have to have the Richard. Anyone I get involved with is going to know this detail about me before we get to the point where it could become an issue. For me, the worst part of this entire debacle have been the people saying that people like me don't belong in Second Life. That would be like me making the assertion that people who won't share RL details don't belong in SL, and that would be utterly ludicrous of me to say, wouldn't it? There are as many reasons for someone to be in SL as there are avatars - No two people are looking at things the exact same way, and how dare anyone say that my reason isn't as good or valid or just as anyone else's reason? Talk about entitlement! Who is anyone to say that another person belongs or doesn't belong? And as to whether or not LL agrees with me or disagrees or what they approve of or don't approve of or what the TOS says - Patch Linden, the man who is essentially the ranking Linden employee in charge of Second Life, met his real life husband in Second Life. I highly doubt he believes that he doesn't belong in Second Life.
  19. But... why should I believe you? Or Amina with whatever it was she said above? I don’t recall whatever side you fell on when it comes to truthiness, but she chose this as her mountain to die on (at least she said it is) so I’m left, for my own... er, safety(?)... to not believe anything that comes from an avatar. Or that’s on the Internet, and this forum is certainly on the Internet. For all I know you’re both the same person, and that person is Boris Johnson using SL to explore his feminine, and his furry side. If you choose to advocate for lying and misleading people, you can’t very well expect anyone to take you at your word on any subject.
  20. While I’m certain you will say this is just kind and lovely advice for all, we both know this is directed at me, as does everyone else. I was never unsure about where certain posts were directed in spite of some rather insincere protestations denying it. To claim otherwise is just gaslighting.
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