Scylla Rhiadra

Now you're just trolling us. Or sucking up for likes, I'm not sure which.

You're welcome. We are very generous in our reception of refugees along our southern border. Trudeau, on the other hand, even putting aside his embarrassing experiments with costume makeup, is like a chafed and painful sore on Canada's body politic that people keep insisting on touching. If you love us, leave it alone, and maybe it will just go away.

Please . . . don't. Just don't. We've suffered enough, surely.

We're building a wall, actually. With money appropriated from our ice rink and doughnut budget.

How far are you from the Scottish border? Might be time to make a run for it. With luck you'll be back in the EU there within, I dunno, 6 years or so?

ROFL Tolya's found a new plaything. This is going to be SO MUCH FUN!

Thank you, Seicher! Yes, it is. Hot off the press, so to speak, in fact.

Undiminished You're the one I didn't see, you who lie Unremarked, concealed in plain sight behind The drapes of hair and the surprising eye. We have passed words and smiles, but I blind To your insistence still have failed to trace You bent over busy with book, keys, shoe, Dishcloth, being your life, filling the space That is only yours, the edge between you And not you undiminished by my Important failure. Each of us brings Our own light with us and in it we fly Sovereign, if alone, on blazing wings.

Me also. But we try because we care, and that's what matters, I think, most. Yes. Thank you: beautifully and movingly said.

THIS ^^^^ The whole "you can't make me" thing reminds me so much of people who oppose gay marriage because they irrationally believe that it in some obscure and illogical way impacts upon their own conventional partnering. It doesn't. Get over it. Same with pronouns. Be a jerk, or don't be: it's your choice. But if you choose the former, I'll be exercising my right to call you one,

Orwar, now that we are becoming closer, I have something important to tell you. I have breasts. I hope you can become accepting of that.

Today's Unexpected Revelation. 🙂

This is actually a good question. After all, if SL is, to an important degree anyway, about exploring our selves and our identity, pronouns are an important part of that. I am aware, of course, that this is a rather fraught subject in RL (and anyone who knows me at all well is going to know where I come down on that), but for me it is really about civility and respect at the level of the individual. I have a long-standing personal policy of addressing, and generally treating, people according to how they represent in SL. Most of us, in fact, already do that. There are people whom I know are representing here, for instance, as a different gender than their RL biological assignment: I, and most of us I think, respect such choices here, and will refer to such people by the gender pronouns appropriate to how they represent here. I, personally, don't need to specify my pronouns of preference: I'm obviously a woman, and that is invariably how people address me. For some time, however, I've included my preferred pronouns on my in-world profile. I do this not because I am ever misgendered, but rather to support those who sometimes are. I frankly want to help normalize the practice of stating these preferences, not because I think most of us will ever need to, but because I believe it is a basic right that everyone should be able to choose their own identity, and I would like the practice, so important for many who are trans or non-binary, to become accepted and non-controversial. (Which is not to say that I think everyone needs to, or should, do this.) As for the larger political question surrounding pronouns, I don't think we need laws or rules to enforce the use of preferred pronouns (nor do I know of anywhere in RL where this is in fact the case), but if I see someone deliberately and consistently misgendering when I know that they know better, it at least has the virtue of clearly signaling that that person is an ungenerous, cantankerous *****. And that's always useful information.

Ack! I didn't!!! It was autocorrect, I SWEAR!!!

Thanks Cris! I'm glad you did too. And it's really lovely just seeing you here, on the SL forums.

Thank you! Yes. I'm afraid it is . . . PS. @Catrieis partly to blame. I had two versions of this pic, one with me in the nude. She suggested I go with the green robe. The poem would have been different, or maybe not even happened, without it.

Washing Roses Away The flowers were sweet and pink; so thoughtful (My green robe ripples silent to the floor) Of you to bring them. I rushed the bouquet (And settles there beside the roses) After you left to the kitchen, to place (The hot water kisses my toes, my foot) Them in fresh water: they deserved that at least (I lower myself with a gentle splash) Just for seeming so beautiful. But now (And slide down the smooth white back of the tub) Alas! They are wilting, dying, sad blooms! (Sighing as the water blankets tummy) This, though, will console; I kept the roses (Arms legs breasts shoulders, laps against my chin) Longer than I kept you; they smelt so nice. (Splash)

I wish it were as simple as pasting a SLURL here.. Last night I went dancing at Fogbound Blues, a place I generally avoid as I find it a bit of a meat market. I was, shortly after arrival, IMed by a very nice and quite articulate man who proceeded to not try to pick me up, but instead chatted with me at length about my feminism. Then, at the same place, I ran into a male friend who I'd also met via IM at Fogbound about a year ago, and who is a fellow Canadian and passionate left-winger; he then took me dancing to a salsa club, where I met another nice man who did not try to pick me up, but just chatted with me in a friendly way. We friended each other this morning: he's very sweet. I dunno. Luck? All I can say, really, is that they are out there. And that I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time finding them.

/me blushes Clarrellae, thank you. You're a complete sweetheart, and you've totally made my day. I just like being here, and talking with the lovely people who make up this forum. It's really as simple as that. 🙂

The truth is probably a lot more complicated than either your characterization, or my even briefer comment suggest. It would be a huge derail to demonstrate in full that Peterson's views are, at the very least, transphobic to the degree that he argues that gender identity is overwhelming based on biology. Here, for instance, is part of what he said to the Canadian Senate's hearing on Bill C-16, which is a human rights bill: Now, I'm going to agree that biology, of course, plays a role in one's gender identity, and so, frankly, would most people who support trans people: Peterson is setting up a strawman argument here. Which is the more ironic, because his own argument is essentially black-and-white, and he has consistently refused to make any concession that maybe socially constructed gender roles are independent of biology, and need to be taken into account as well. As for his role as "free speech" champion, there is no one in Canadian academia who has a more prominent soap box. He has never been "banned" for his ideas, from anywhere (although he has faced protests), and his cosy tenured job at the University of Toronto was not threatened by refusing to abide by that institution's policies. And the latter, by the way, was the initial impetus for his much-publicized attack on gender-neutral language, not government legislation or policy. U of T issued a policy, with the intent of 1) making classrooms more comfortable and safe spaces for trans students, and 2) preventing the deliberate misgendering of students, that called on faculty to use the pronouns of choice. Later, as his soapbox became larger, Peterson took on the human rights bill, C-16, which (to be clear) does not make it illegal to misgender someone, but does say that the consistent and deliberate misgendering of someone can be said to constitute evidence of harassment. That's not quite the same thing as saying that you have to call someone "they." It's rather ironic that Peterson should feel he's being wronged by being called a Nazi, as he persistently labels, in print and electronic media, anyone who opposes him as "Marxists." As for his reputation -- well, you can know him by the company he keeps. He is actually funded by a Canadian alt right organization called Rebel Media, and is closely associated with, and defended by, a small but noxious circle of alt right personalities such as Faith Goldie and Lindsay Shepherd. (Don't let me get started on the latter.) He is consistently championed by the far right on social media, and happily stars in videos with many of them. Sorry, I live with Jordan Peterson, in a way. He teaches at the university where I got my degrees, and that is a 20 minute walk from where I live. His influence has permeated my classrooms, and I've had to address his views there. I've actually read much of his stuff because I need to. I think his views are somewhat more sophisticated and complicated than they are sometimes painted, but the notion that he is defending us all against an entirely non-existent threat to our freedom of speech is palpably absurd. In his case, being "oppressed" seems to consist of having a really loud and contractually-protected megaphone. His reasons for opposing nongendered or trans pronouns vary according to his audience, but he is, in practice, transphobic, and is quite willing to lend credibility, through video appearances and retweets and such, to a really pretty dark little corner of the Canadian right.

Who is wondering that? I literally started a thread celebrating men. Many, maybe most, of the women posting here (including Beth and Amina) posted to it in order to . . . celebrate men. I know exactly where the good men -- or many of them, anyway -- are to be found. So do the other women here. Conall, I'm going to offer this seriously well-intentioned advice. You are so obsessed with the idea that anyone who self-identifies as a "feminist," including Amina, Beth, and myself, are anti-male fanatics that you aren't actually listening to what we are saying. And your answers reflect that assumption, rather than functioning as reasoned responses to what we are saying. And as a result, you're digging yourself in deeper rather than conceding that hey, just maybe, these "feminists" have a valid point. Take a deep breath, and please reflect before hitting "submit." Maybe pay attention to the words in your own signature? (Also, you do know that Jordan Peterson is a very vocal trans-phobe, right? That he first came to public attention by refusing to use people's pronouns of choice, and essentially denying the existence of trans identities? Are you comfortable with that, really?)

I so totally thought you were talking about something else, until I finished reading the post.

Does sending them a L$1 still work? That used to be one way of unghosting someone.

Mo is wonderful: I'm so glad she's still around, even if not as often as she once was. Generally, everyone from the old Forum Cartel group, including definitely you, are among the more important reasons I stuck around. "Aggravating" is the nice, non-four-letter word for Pep. Eventually, LL decided he was so "aggravating" that he got perma-booted. He did come back for a number of years later on a succession of alts, of course, but as for Storm, although he was a great friend of Pep, he's definitely his own man. Me too. Chris was one of the first people to make me feel really welcome on the forums, despite disagreeing with probably pretty much everything I said. He was a great friend. I bumped into Brenda, quite by accident, while shopping a few months ago. It was nice to see her!

A Brief Timeline of Men Not Feeling Welcome in RL Ca. 5000 BCE - ca. 1964 CE -- Men run everything and own everything. The world is a wonderful place. Ca. 1964 CE - Present Day -- Women start demanding that they too be allowed to run things and own things. Mass panic ensues.