Does it say something about me if I feel more "vulnerable" as a woman avi?

[Gopi Passiflora]

Okay fine, I understand this may be another controversial topic, but bear with me, the thought came to my head.

I'm a man in real life but I still enjoy using woman avatars. But for some reason, when I'm a woman in a place with other avatars, I have more of this feeling of "vulnerability" than when I'm using a man or non-human avi. I guess you can attribute it to a higher chance of getting hit on by men (but I still enjoy their compliments if done in a nice way.)

I was wonder what you guys think of this. 

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

Maybe there is some kind of projection of how you (as a man) feel about women.  Do you think they're vulnerable?

I have a male alt.  I do not feel "manly" putting him on.  No extra confidence,  or aggressive need to share my opinion.  (See my projection there?)  I just feel uncomfortable and out of place.  

I know a lot of people who "feel" who their avatar is though.  I cycle through alts based on my emotions each day.

[Rowan Amore]

Can't say I've ever felt vulnerable at all in SL.

[Stephanie Misfit]

2 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Maybe there is some kind of projection of how you (as a man) feel about women.  Do you think they're vulnerable?

Either this, or he has an awareness of how poorly some men can treat women.

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

Can't say I've ever felt vulnerable at all in SL.

I have not felt vulnerable, but I have been placed in uncomfortable situations that someone using a male avatar would not have been placed in, ie, dealing with extreme misogyny. I would not say though that it was anything that the tools we have at our disposal could not deal with.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

15 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Maybe there is some kind of projection of how you (as a man) feel about women.  Do you think they're vulnerable?

I think Cinn may have hit the nail on the head here.

Women in SL aren't more "vulnerable." (RL is a slightly different and more complicated story: men don't generally need someone to watch their drinks at bars when they go to the washroom, or clutch keys tightly in their fists while crossing dark parking lots.)

But the cultural perception is that women are more vulnerable, because . . . weaker? And I think you may, as Cinn says, be projecting that.

That's nothing to be ashamed about, btw. We are all influenced in different ways and to differing degrees by cultural perceptions of gender. But it's not a bad thing to acknowledge and interrogate those attitudes when they do make themselves apparent.

[Ceka Cianci]

I don't feel vulnerable at all in SL.. Just the fact that I can end a situation at any time I choose, feels pretty powerful actually..

I would love that option in RL.. heheh

[Arielle Popstar]

28 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Okay fine, I understand this may be another controversial topic, but bear with me, the thought came to my head.

I'm a man in real life but I still enjoy using woman avatars. But for some reason, when I'm a woman in a place with other avatars, I have more of this feeling of "vulnerability" than when I'm using a man or non-human avi. I guess you can attribute it to a higher chance of getting hit on by men (but I still enjoy their compliments if done in a nice way.)

I was wonder what you guys think of this. 

I get what you are saying here. As a male avatar it is much easier for me to say no to a request I am not interested in vs when I use my female avatar. I wouldn't term it vulnerable per se but just see it as that more challenging to say No thank you. There is also the aspect that it is my observation that others are less likely to take no as a response to a female avatar than a male one, as I do see that when the male says no, there is rarely a badgering to change the mind rather than the female one which sees that it more regularly.

[Gopi Passiflora]

Yeah you guys may be right, I guess I could be projecting my real life thoughts/cultural attitudes about women in Second Life.

@Stephanie Misfit might also have a good point as well about how some men treat women.

[Maitimo]

In the years since I switched to a feminine avatar in SL... no I can't say that I ever felt particularly vulnerable. But then again my avatar is not typical of feminine women and I'm open about my RL gender so maybe that gets me a free pass out of situations that might make cis-women feel vulnerable? 

 

[Sid Nagy]

In 2007 when I started I had a female avatar that I used as main. The approach from others was totally different then when I used my Sid avatar, that is for sure.
I learned a lot about people in general in those months. But more vulnerable? No.

[Krystina Ferraris]

I never felt vulnerable and I have a feminine avatar.

Even when a someone hovers or comes too close I know I can either: mute/derender him (best option) - easily go somewhere else - tell him to F off without fear of getting a punch lol

I don’t know how to behave as a convincing man in SL, as i only know how to be me but I’ve never once been intimidated by male avatars.

 

[Dorientje Woller]

2 hours ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I never felt vulnerable and I have a feminine avatar.

Even when a someone hovers or comes too close I know I can either: mute/derender him (best option) - easily go somewhere else - tell him to F off without fear of getting a punch lol

I don’t know how to behave as a convincing man in SL, as i only know how to be me but I’ve never once been intimidated by male avatars.

 

My favorit tactic: ignore, pretend they don't exist. Once those pushy men realize that their fish won't be cooking in my oven, they are gone quickly to an other  restaurant.😆

Edited May 4, 2023 by Dorientje Woller

[EliseAnne85]

15 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I guess you can attribute it to a higher chance of getting hit on by men (but I still enjoy their compliments if done in a nice way.)

The above is involved in your feelings, I'm sure.  Maybe the right word isn't vulnerable but more accessible and susceptible *to* being hit on and thus you are on guard kind of but perhaps it's because you are expecting more IM's and thus have to be more pleasant and deal with more situations.  

I can relate to that going from human female to Dinkie Cat.  As a Dinkie I have far less pressure and far less situations to deal with.

Edited May 4, 2023 by EliseAnne85

[Love Zhaoying]

2 hours ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I never felt vulnerable and I have a feminine avatar.

If you told us you felt vulnerable, I would assume your account was hacked!

[Ayashe Ninetails]

Can't relate. I feel no difference swapping between male and female avatars. If anything, my girls are more unbothered. My boys exist solely to be pretty and sit for photos. 😄

[Caeruleiae]

I rarely ever feel vulnerable because of the fact that I'm a woman-rl or sl. I do however often feel very vulnerable here on the forums and sometimes inworld because of my age though. People have some very skewed misconceptions about my generation and it often colors things they say and do-even if they don't think it does. It can make it very difficult to have conversations discussions or debates even-when you know the other person or people think very little of you just because you're like 20+ years their younger. Some have made it very clear even that they think quite little of anyone under the age 30-even if they don't realize they've made it very clear. I've had to stop going to some places I enjoyed sl because of it recently-which I never expected myself to do. I also suspect it will eventually make me stop posting here too-but that hasn't happened yet. 

[EliseAnne85]

43 minutes ago, Caeruleiae said:

I rarely ever feel vulnerable because of the fact that I'm a woman-rl or sl. I do however often feel very vulnerable here on the forums and sometimes inworld because of my age though. People have some very skewed misconceptions about my generation and it often colors things they say and do-even if they don't think it does. It can make it very difficult to have conversations discussions or debates even-when you know the other person or people think very little of you just because you're like 20+ years their younger. Some have made it very clear even that they think quite little of anyone under the age 30-even if they don't realize they've made it very clear. I've had to stop going to some places I enjoyed sl because of it recently-which I never expected myself to do. I also suspect it will eventually make me stop posting here too-but that hasn't happened yet. 

People have said to you they think very little of you because you may be 20 years younger?  

There is a dynamic that used to be called "the generation gap" which was basically the younger generation 'could not' relate to the older generations of their parents or grandparents.  

If you are trying to date in SL, what if it's perceived that you are too much like their own kids age and that is what is uncomfortable?   People may often say "I don't want to date anyone my own kids age" for example.

However, if you hang in there...I think a lot of younger people will become a part of SL if it goes mobile.  

Edited May 4, 2023 by EliseAnne85

[Krystina Ferraris]

1 hour ago, Love Zhaoying said:

If you told us you felt vulnerable, I would assume your account was hacked!

Please keep an eye out for my code words Love!! 🦁

[Silent Mistwalker]

19 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Okay fine, I understand this may be another controversial topic, but bear with me, the thought came to my head.

I'm a man in real life but I still enjoy using woman avatars. But for some reason, when I'm a woman in a place with other avatars, I have more of this feeling of "vulnerability" than when I'm using a man or non-human avi. I guess you can attribute it to a higher chance of getting hit on by men (but I still enjoy their compliments if done in a nice way.)

I was wonder what you guys think of this. 

I'm thinking the word you are looking for is susceptible, rather than vulnerable.

[Madelaine McMasters]

3 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Can't relate. I feel no difference swapping between male and female avatars. If anything, my girls are more unbothered. My boys exist solely to be pretty and sit for photos. 😄

I was raised in a gender ambivalent family, so there's a lot of cultural norm BS I can't relate to. Like you, there's no difference in my feeling or behavior in male or female avatars. I am, however, quite aware of society's nonsensical beliefs, and see them applied to me every day. Those beliefs are more amusement to me than anything else, but I can see how baseless cultural norms can truly limit people from achieving their full potential and so I do push back on them.

 

6 hours ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I don’t know how to behave as a convincing man in SL, as i only know how to be me but I’ve never once been intimidated by male avatars.

You don't have to know a thing, Krystina. Just don a male avatar and let everyone else project on it.

[Cali Souther]

20 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

Can't say I've ever felt vulnerable at all in SL.

This ^^^

[diamond Marchant]

This ^^^

I have observed that the amount of pixel skin an avatar shows might have something to do with how much "attention" they receive. But one can control that.

[Persephone Emerald]

Have I ever felt...

Irritated by some fool?  Yes.

Confused as to how to respond both firmly and politely?  Yes.

Angry because of rude behavior?  Yes.

Vulnerable in SL?  No.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

10 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I was raised in a gender ambivalent family, so there's a lot of cultural norm BS I can't relate to. Like you, there's no difference in my feeling or behavior in male or female avatars. I am, however, quite aware of society's nonsensical beliefs, and see them applied to me every day. Those beliefs are more amusement to me than anything else, but I can see how baseless cultural norms can truly limit people from achieving their full potential and so I do push back on them.

A million times yes! Gender meant absolutely nothing in my family and I grew up with role models in the music/entertainment industry who were doing the exact opposite of what society tried to dictate - not to mention I had an all out obsession with women in comedy (Lucy and Carol Burnett all the way through Sommore and the Queens of Comedy when I got old enough to hear their stand-up😂). Like you, I'm aware of that shenanigans, but that is not me in the slightest.

[cunomar]

Theres only two differences between male and female .

1. everything they say think and do .

2. i forget something to do with clothes not fitting i think .