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Luna Bliss

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About Luna Bliss

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  1. I just cashed out to Paypal without any problems. Was half-expecting I'd need to resubmit details but fortunately all went smoothly.
  2. The most insane ones always believe they are right and never question it. Hugs
  3. Amina, as written your story appears to make sense...and I would agree with much of it except for a part you left out....the MOST important part. And that is, feelings about a SL relationship can change over time from a more roleplaying, fantasy type into something more real and and so your desire for "all fantasy' as the default for all people can never be realized. I think most can sense when this happens, when it becomes more real. For some lucky ones these feelings are mutual. It is at this point, or along the way when one senses it happening (moving to what feels like a more real relationship), that one really should reveal pertinent RL information as best they can so as to minimize hurt. Instead, what occurs too often is that the one who wants the relationship to be 'total fantasy' kind of PLAYS the other one...feeding on them like an emotional vampire just so they can continue to enhance their fantasies, with no regard for the feelings of their partner. Some even pursue this as a goal from the get go -- to fool another -- and feel like they've made a great catch when the other has been 'reeled in'. So again, you simply can't have the absolute, default reality here that you want and insist that others must abide by it as 'the final solution' -- "total fantasy" . Instead, these are fluid dynamics that individual couples most be free to sort out for themselves.
  4. Well you know last night I sensed something screwy going on, and is why I joined a gaslighting photo after yours....it did feel like gaslighting. I more think it's something like the following though, and I'm not sure it's even a deliberate manipulation:
  5. What did someone say to give you that impression?
  6. That's because she didn't. I wasn't accusing her of anything. I was talking about how that sort of approach would make me feel, indeed has made me feel. I am sorry if that offends Beth so much that it causes her to hate me as much as she now does, but it's just a fact. That is how that approach makes me feel. I remember you saying that Beth has done this to you before. So this is an important factor in considering why she'd be upset.
  7. I would be upset too if someone attempted to use emotional blackmail on me, thus defined: "Emotional blackmail and FOG are terms, popularized by psychotherapist Susan Forward, about controlling people in relationships and the theory that fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled. Understanding these dynamics is useful to anyone trying to extricate from the controlling behavior of another person, and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others." I just didn't see Beth doing that in this thread. It could be I missed it. Can you copypaste the text where you think she's emotionally blackmailing people?
  8. I'm glad you pay attention to context and know that I don't condemn SL relationships, even if some could be using them to hide. In SL, as in RL, people enter relationships for all sorts of reasons - some relationships enhance their lives, some relationships take something vital from their lives, and some relationships comprise both characteristics either as an overall pattern or specific to various time periods within the connection. My reason for bringing up our motivation in relationships (via listing a few off the top of my head) is that I've experienced many who are unaware of what's happening within their SL relationship -- what they want from it, what they need from it, what one's boundaries are. If one is unaware of boundaries they tend to sort various dynamics in an unnecessarily rigid manner. And of course, in this instance I'm referring to boundaries regarding the main issue we've been discussing -- whether people play SL as 'total fantasy', 'total reality', or somewhere in between. (and I do like, and think it's more true, to frame the debate in this way -- "total fantasy vs total reality, or somewhere in between" as opposed to painting it as a privacy issue. It's at least better than framing it as 'Amina vs Beth', although the both of you do seem to manifest both extremes very well at times...lol). Anyway, when I perceive another as having boundaries which are too rigid I suspect they are operating from a place of hurt and so unable to see 'the other side' as clearly. Someone could, however, be operating from a more nefarious & clear position -- saying that their right to fantasy supersedes any RL pain they might cause another. This is why we all need to become very aware of our motivations, because if we are unaware of them we are less likely to evaluate a situation clearly. I began to think about motivation earlier, and listed a few...but we need to list more...as you did via mentioning the disabled and what they need from SL. People need to ask themselves, "why am I setting the boundaries the way I do"? For example, a person could ask "what motivates me to disallow another in SL to have even the slightest information about my RL"? Or, "what motivates me to use SL as a kind of Match.com as opposed to simply going to Match.com for a date or possible RL connection". Or simply asking oneself "why is it okay for another to know this piece of information about my RL, but not another".
  9. Yes, we can no more totally separate RL from SL anymore than we can totally separate fantasy from reality. Compartmentalization can fool us into thinking we can, but using this defense creates more delusion than feelings ever could.
  10. Luna, this is a lovely sentiment and all, and I think it is genuinely meant . . . . . . but maybe in the context of this discussion, it is actually more than a bit gas-lighty? It's almost literally as though you are responding to someone talking about the importance of maintaining their RL privacy by saying "And how long have you been desperately insecure and unable to form real connections with people?" I feel somehow that we would do better to avoid speculation about people's motivations, and focus more on the dynamic by which we actually reconcile different approaches to interpersonal relationships here. I went through many of the reasons a person might choose to have a SL relationship...not all by any means, but just a few that came to mind at that time. It was not directed at any certain person as if I knew any one person's motivation. It occurred to me that a lot of people here hide, and this felt sad to me. I was actually thinking of my friend, Lexxi, with the last reason though, as she must hide "a part in RL that they fear nobody would accept and so feel a kind of fantasy acceptance in SL". She has discussed her trans issues here, and I actually thought she might appreciate this comment...and with the hearts she gave I think she did. You've clearly taken sides...with Amina...and you are defending her... as you did not confront her when she ascribed motivation to Beth, labeling Beth's behavior via wanting RL information as "emotional blackmail". I didn't see any evidence of Beth manipulating in this way. Yet you go after me for suggesting motivation, knowing I side more with Beth on these issues, in this thread. I suggest not playing mediator/therapist here when you can't be objective.
  11. It really saddens me that some people must live in a total fantasy world with relationships, unable to connect to RL at all. I do wonder, is it due to being emotionally stunted somehow, hurt in the past by a SL relationship that soured in RL, hiding a part in RL that they fear nobody would accept and so feel a kind of fantasy acceptance in SL?
  12. Ok, so it now appears in this thread I'm buddies with a conservative, Tolya, and Beth (whom I tend to argue with a lot, although increasingly less through the months). My mind is spinning....I better go binge watch something...
  13. The rules of your heart, as golden as they are, are not the ones we all signed up to accept when we joined SL. (You were saying something about not placing oneself as the ultimate authority?) SL's rules are. We are bound by them only if we choose to be by playing here. And it's fine, in those rules, to lie about who you are if that's how you want SL to be for you. Sigh. So it's okay for you or another to lie to someone in a way that could cause real suffering...disastrous consequences? Just because a TOS says you can? Please goddess, let me never meet these kinds of creeps inhabiting our SL world... * I'll just stay with my oldbie friends who tend to view SL more as a platform...the real world meeting place where we sometimes dash off into roleplaying for fun..
  14. Then consider : there' s no legal option for you in either case to call me out in RL on my wrong doings within this environment, because YOU have trusted me without verification beyond SL Oh sure, duh! You can be as creepy as you want. Great hill to die on!
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