Couldn't We Be More Friendly?

[Rowan Amore]

No

[Arduenn Schwartzman]

3 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

No

Release the cat pictures!

Edited January 28, 2022 by Arduenn Schwartzman

[rasterscan]

3 hours ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

Release the cat pictures!

Rip Beanie ya lil tinker ❤️

 

[Krystina Ferraris]

42 minutes ago, rasterscan said:

Rip Beanie ya lil tinker ❤️

 

Awwww sweet calico... they are the sweetest kitties, RIP sweet girl 😥💔 over the 🌈 bridge 

[Krystina Ferraris]

On the OP subject.... I haven't noticed increased hostility or unfriendliness here, sarcasm yes but that's funny and generally well received I would think.

Just like @Sid NagyI think some posts may get lost in translation. Sarcasm in Dutch, Italian, French, [insert language here] does not translate well into English and vice-versa. Idiomatic expressions don't translate well, by and large, and so people may react negatively to something that was intended by the person as a tongue-in-cheek and benign post.

I must admit that I also am probably immune to it all at this stage. In RL I deal with major a$-holes on a daily basis and had to grow a thick skin.

Being Asperger also helps, as we tend to be oblivious to most facial expressions, so non-verbal cues probably go right over my head. I do however feel empathy and can read emotions, as funny as that might sound. So some things do affect me, I have just learnt to not let those bother me and move on.

For example, in RL I deal with farmers and race horse breeders on a regular basis. Over here (might be different in other Countries), neither of these are the most enlightened of creatures. If my partner is scheduled to go on a callout to them they refer to him as doc or the vet or whatever. If I go I am "that girl". LOL.   @Cinnamon Mistwood I don't know if you ever experienced that 😆

I honestly don't care, I do my job and do my best for the animals but at the start I was a bit bothered, I must admit! I just don't get my knickers in a twist as we say over here!

This is only one example, I won't go into details as it would be a tedious post, tl;dr type stuff and would probably give too many details.. and God forbid some of the people I refer to are on SL they would probably recognise themselves and out me 😆

I also think @Marigold Devin hit the nail on the head, over the past two years with the wear and tear of the pandemic and the restrictions, people have turned less kind. I think we said it in another thread but manners seem to have gone out of the window. 

So bottom line, I have not noticed the unfriendliness and unkindness here on the fora but definitely it is true in RL.

 

[Stephanie Misfit]

15 hours ago, Suga Bunny said:

 

I mean Some people unconsciously do impolite things on a daily and don't realize it at all and some do it intentionally. 

I'm Curious What People Think or have experienced or noticed 🤔

 

On the forums? Yeah, there's a small handful of people here who are less than welcoming and some of those are prolific posters, and I think that may be particularly off putting to new people. They are over shadowed by the helpfulness of the majority though. 

[Nick0678]

15 hours ago, Suga Bunny said:

 

I mean Some people unconsciously do impolite things on a daily and don't realize it at all and some do it intentionally. 

I'm Curious What People Think or have experienced or noticed 🤔

 

If it works it works , if it doesn't it doesn't, socialize with those that you have common ground and forget what the rest are doing.

[Bree Giffen]

How I look at general topics like this is that everyone has a sliding scale in their opinion. For this thread about being more friendly it would look like this:

Everyone is not friendly --------------------😐-------------------------Everyone is friendly - Forumite #1

Everyone is not friendly -----------☹️----------------------------------Everyone is friendly - Forumite #2

Etc.

This sliding scale of opinion cannot be seen by anyone and people don't accurately present their opinion in just a few sentences. Hence, cat pics.

Maybe I'll use this slider in a future post to see if this helps people understand how everyone feels about a topic.

[belindacarson]

6 hours ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

On the forums? Yeah, there's a small handful of people here who are less than welcoming and some of those are prolific posters, and I think that may be particularly off putting to new people. They are over shadowed by the helpfulness of the majority though. 

I'd say it's the opposite

[Theresa Tennyson]

16 minutes ago, belindacarson said:

I'd say it's the opposite

https://community.secondlife.com/profile/1468218-belindacarson/content/

[Pamela Galli]

What I see repeatedly is someone preemptively insulting the entire forum in their first post (usually in which they are asking for help) then attacking those who reply, then citing it all as an example of how mean forumites are.

[Lindal Kidd]

During WWII, British pilots patrolled the English Channel at night, to intercept German bombers. Sometimes, it would get lonely up there in the dark. One night, the following was heard over the radio...

"Are there any friendly bears out there?"

After a moment, someone replied,

"I'm a friendly bear!"

Others chimed in.

"I'm a friendly bear, too."

"Cheerio! I'm a friendly bear."

Then a senior officer came on. He chastised the pilots for a lack of radio discipline and demanded that they shut up and act like professionals.  There was a long pause, and then...

"YOU'RE not a very friendly bear."

[belindacarson]

2 hours ago, Pamela Galli said:

What I see repeatedly is someone preemptively insulting the entire forum in their first post (usually in which they are asking for help) then attacking those who reply, then citing it all as an example of how mean forumites are.

maybe because they've seen the "types" of help that people provide on here

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, belindacarson said:

maybe because they've seen the "types" of help that people provide on here

And what "types" are those, Belinda? Just out of curiosity?

[Suga Bunny]

Well i meant in general I didn't mean forums in particular. I mean if  you meat someone and they  go "piss off" before you even say "hello i think your  really pretty" and I see it all the time some people use "joking" as an excuse 90% of the time or the push the heat off them selves and blame someone else for something said or done 🤔and the ones unknowingly hurting  others don't realize it  until its usually too late... but I will say I seen it everywhere and still see it. 

[Nick0678]

3 minutes ago, Suga Bunny said:

I mean if  you meat someone and they  go "piss off" before you even say "hello i think your  really pretty" ..

I think that you worry about things that are out of your control and you shouldn't actually care at all, especially since those are people that you will never know or meet during your life. Best thing to do is have fun with those that are easy going and make you feel happy while you are online.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

15 minutes ago, Suga Bunny said:

Well i meant in general I didn't mean forums in particular. I mean if  you meat someone and they  go "piss off" before you even say "hello i think your  really pretty" and I see it all the time some people use "joking" as an excuse 90% of the time or the push the heat off them selves and blame someone else for something said or done 🤔and the ones unknowingly hurting  others don't realize it  until its usually too late... but I will say I seen it everywhere and still see it. 

A person who says that right off the bat is actually saving you a lot of time and effort finding out they maybe aren't the type of person you want to be associating with in the first place, so that could actually be a positive thing. 

Generally speaking, we're all in a tough spot right now. People are angsty, tired, annoyed, upset, frustrated (very frustrated), and really just want to get back to living life normally. So if you're seeing more hostility than usual, that could be one reason why. Try not to let it get you down. Easier said than done, I know. I promise you, though - calm, chill, laid back, fun, sweet, kind, friendly, open people still exist. I've met several online over the last few months.

Try meeting new people in a place where there's open socializing happening on a regular basis (random example - play a game and join a guild - chances are that people in guilds want to be around other people). Stuff like that.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

17 minutes ago, Suga Bunny said:

Well i meant in general I didn't mean forums in particular. I mean if  you meat someone and they  go "piss off" before you even say "hello i think your  really pretty" and I see it all the time some people use "joking" as an excuse 90% of the time or the push the heat off them selves and blame someone else for something said or done 🤔and the ones unknowingly hurting  others don't realize it  until its usually too late... but I will say I seen it everywhere and still see it. 

I think people have different levels of tolerance for rude or obnoxious behavior, and that we need to acknowledge that, for some, "shrugging it off" isn't going to work. That's not a "fault," it's a function of who that person is, how much they value community, their level of egotism, self-confidence, life experience, and so forth.

Don't let people tell you that it's somehow your fault that you get upset about rudeness. It's not.

I'm a pretty self-confident person, but a really rude person can ruin my day. And more to the point, so far as I'm concerned, rudeness just shows a lack of respect for other people. (Bearing in mind what others have said about other factors, such as cultural differences, social awkwardness, etc.). I'll see a person in front of me in the line at the corner store, for instance, treating the checkout person as though they were a vending machine, and, honestly, I want to kick them.

[TrophySpouse]

On 1/27/2022 at 2:30 PM, Maitimo said:

If you meet a few unfriendly people in your life, it's probably them.  If everyone you meet is unfriendly, it's probably you.

I've heard a horse version that goes like, "The first time somebody calls you a horse, you punch 'em on the nose, the second time somebody calls you a horse, you call 'em a jerk, but the third time somebody calls you a horse, well, then perhaps it's time to go shopping for a saddle." It's the same idea.

This may be a good rule of thumb for most times on how to people. But really terrible for victim blaming and gaslighting. Should I passively accept that I'm a filthy unassimilable racialized caricature who should be deported and diaf? It's not like I can do anything to change my phenotype to make it less offensive. *shrugs*  

[Gabriel Isodo]

On 1/27/2022 at 6:19 PM, Suga Bunny said:

Day after day I continue to SEE that kindness is becoming rare as a diamond......😥

I agree

I have been ejected few times unfriended and people talk with me like a machine like I have no emotion. All hurts me. They did not exeplain me any thing.

Making friend is very difficult

Talking to people seem to have huge persistance. It is possible but we need try many times.

Where are kindnes help ? I remember when I start people help each other. I stopt and start again and I see the difference. You have alone with yourself

Maybe nice people exists. But they are unfindable.

[Robberinthemuseum]

I know right? I think the negative comments seem to stick in our minds more than the positive ones. Just try to ignore the negs. We really have no idea what is going on with them in RL. I'm pretty new to the forum and noticed it straight off the bat. Just ignore it. If you figure out how to block individuals from seeing forum posts or commenting can you im me please 🙂?

[Lindal Kidd]

18 hours ago, Gabriel Isodo said:

Maybe nice people exists. But they are unfindable.

...raises her hand and shouts, "Hey! Nice person over here!"

That's not just my opinion of myself. I've been told so many times "Wow, you are so nice!" when I thought I'd just been being ordinarily polite and helpful. Or even, suspiciously, "Why are you being so nice to me?" I think it says more about the average niceness level than about me.

[LittleMe Jewell]

16 hours ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

I'm pretty new to the forum

Highly doubtful.

 

16 hours ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

If you figure out how to block individuals from seeing forum posts or commenting

There are not ANY forums where you can control who SEES your posts and/or comments on them.

If you wish to fully control that, you need to start your own forum.

Edited February 6, 2022 by LittleMe Jewell

[Scylla Rhiadra]

16 hours ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

If you figure out how to block individuals from seeing forum posts or commenting can you im me please

With respect, no. This is a recipe for cliquishness and exclusion.

This is a public space: no one should be made to feel that they are being shut out of the public discourse here, or excluded from conversation.

You have tools, as you should, that enable you to control your own experience here. You're not in charge of someone else's experience.

[Madelaine McMasters]

17 hours ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

If you figure out how to block individuals from seeing forum posts or commenting can you im me please 🙂?

This is easy. Just violate the LL ToS sufficiently to generate ARs. Eventually nobody will be able see your posts.