Macy Wezzog Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 My wife has caught me in RP having sex,tying females and she says that is porn and i'm cheating on her when do is she right? 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stephanie Misfit Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 Not sure if this is a troll post but I will take it in good faith. Yes it is cheating. Online affairs can be just as devastating to your partner as real life affairs. What matters is the affect it has on the other person, not that it occurs in a virtual world. 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 If your wife feels that it is and you did say "caught" so I'll assume you had been hiding that from her, than yes, it's cheating. 23 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, Stephanie Misfit said: Not sure if this is a troll post but I will take it in good faith. Yes it is cheating. Online affairs can be just as devastating to your partner as real life affairs. What matters is the affect it has on the other person, not that it occurs in a virtual world. Wondering about the troll post too but hey, I was kind of bored. This might get interesting! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rolig Loon Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 At the very least, this is a discussion that you should be having with your wife. Listen to each other carefully. It doesn't matter as much what anyone outside of your marriage thinks. 15 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wulfie Reanimator Posted December 27, 2020 Share Posted December 27, 2020 Porn and cheating aren't the same thing or mutually exclusive. This certainly sounds like both. Communicate with her. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I think when it comes to marriage, everyone has a different deal than everyone else.. If porn was considered cheating, we'd be hard pressed to find a man that wasn't cheating on someone.. Interacting with another person, that might be another story, but porn itself,I don't think is.. Men need their me time too..hehehe 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 In every relationship we create rules (spoken or unspoken). If your wife views this activity as porn or cheating, then it is. If you don't think it should be viewed as such, then that's a conversation you need to have with her. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 (edited) I'm having a difficult time understanding the point of this post, to be honest. Is the OP (who likely will not be returning to it anyway) hoping for affirmation here, so that he can point his wife to the thread and employ as "proof" that a bunch of anonymous strangers on the internet think she's wrong? That always ends so well. I know that there are people in SL who see SLex as a form of pornography, but that's always seemed to me special pleading. Porn, as I'd define it anyway, is the passive consumption of materials designed as a sexual stimulant and / or substitute -- i.e., the stimulation is one sided (you're not trying to "turn on" that naked woman in the video you're watching) and doesn't involve any engagement with an actual human being. There certainly is porn in Second Life, aplenty, but when the OP describes as "having sex" here would seem to me not to fit this definition, as it does involve a two-way engagement with someone else, albeit virtually. So, I don't think it's correct to call what the OP has apparently been doing "porn." Personally I don't think there's necessarily much wrong with using porn, generically speaking, anyway (although god knows there are sometimes issues with the way that porn has been made, or with its representations of gender, sexuality, and so forth). As for "cheating," I think I agree entirely with Persephone: 13 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said: In every relationship we create rules (spoken or unspoken). If your wife views this activity as porn or cheating, then it is. If you don't think it should be viewed as such, then that's a conversation you need to have with her. If you have not established that a degree of sexual interaction with third parties is permissible within the context of your marriage, then, yes, you've been cheating. There are real, live people behind those naked pixel-bumping avatars you've been engaged with, and you've been using each other for, or helping each other achieve, sexual stimulation. Unless there's been some sort of agreement in advance with your RL partner, I'd say that, in the vast majority of relationships, that constitutes "cheating." Edited December 28, 2020 by Scylla Rhiadra 11 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ceka Cianci Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I think if someone got caught by their wife and accused of cheating because of SL sex.The SL forums would probably be the last place they'd want to be caught getting advice from..hehehe When your back is against the wall and all else is failing turn up some Shaggy.. 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said: I think if someone got caught by their wife and accused of cheating because of SL sex.The SL forums would probably be the last place they'd want to be caught getting advice from..hehehe You evidently have not been following my critically acclaimed podcast, "Virtual Sexual Health with Dr. Scylla." Because, as we all know, those who can, do; those who can't, teach . . . 1 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CoreyPatrick McMillan Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 This a male's point of view...me..i agree with all the females above...lol... but really whao ..da! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Voxel Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: I'm having a difficult time understanding the point of this post, to be honest. Is the OP (who likely will not be returning to it anyway) hoping for affirmation here, so that he can point his wife to the thread and employ as "proof" that a bunch of anonymous strangers on the internet think she's wrong? 1 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roxy Couturier Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 Just tell her it was with another dude. Because, as we've all been told, time and time again, there are no women on the internet. (And if there were, they wouldn't be interested in virtual sex.) 3 14 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bree Giffen Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I don't think immorality should be defined by what one person in a relationship thinks it is. If the wife thinks that what he is doing is porn and cheating then he can point to one of her romance books and say that he thinks reading about sex is cheating too. 2 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, Bree Giffen said: I don't think immorality should be defined by what one person in a relationship thinks it is. If the wife thinks that what he is doing is porn and cheating then he can point to one of her romance books and say that he thinks reading about sex is cheating too. The difference being one is interacting with a book and the other is interacting with another human being. I don't think of slex as porn unless you are just watching the avatars and not emoting anything sexual. Either way, if one partner sees it as cheating, then it's a problem and needs to be discussed. The fact they said caught means they had been hiding the activity probably because they knew their partner would be upset. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shireena1 Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 well, was your partner your alt?.. i cant see it would be cheating that way, as you would be having nookie with yourself! 😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowan Amore Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 The OP may never return. 2 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairreLilette Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Bree Giffen said: if the wife thinks that what he is doing is porn and cheating then he can point to one of her romance book OMG, Bree...reminds me of my next door neighbor when I was married. She divorced her husband in her 30's. The house was put up for sale after the divorce. Then she had a yard sale on her front lawn...her lawn was half covered with romance novels AND that was all for her yard sale...just hundreds and hundreds of romance novels. I never knew my neighbor read romance novels but I always wondered if those "grass is always greener" kind of fairytale romance novels she was reading caused her divorce or were a part of it. I don't think romance novels are on par with the porn here in SL...but what do I know...I'm not a part of it. I am a G and PG player. I've never even owned any quote end quote "female part" add-ons of any sort. I don't want to date nor get involved on the internet. I'm not open to it though I did date in SL perhaps less than a handful of times, I thought the peeps were players. As far as the OP and his wife...it's their relationship, they need to talk. Yes, it's cheating, imo...it's secrets. Edited December 28, 2020 by FairreLilette 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyrie Deka Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 I've always considered if you cannot tell your mother or your marital partner what you are doing before you do it, you are best to take up knitting for a hobby. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 2 hours ago, Janet Voxel said: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 @Macy Wezzog, you are so busted. Delete SL from your computer, then throw the computer in the trash and throw yourself on the mercy of the court (your wife). Promise her (and mean it!) that you won't ever ever ever do that again, and that you're sorry you hurt her. If you're lucky, she will forgive you, in about twenty years. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChinRey Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 5 hours ago, Macy Wezzog said: My wife has caught me in RP having sex,tying females and she says that is porn and i'm cheating on her when do is she right? Yes, it's porn. There's nothing inherently wrong with that but if your partner feels uneasy about it, you really should consider respecting her feelings. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoiraKathleen Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 5 hours ago, Macy Wezzog said: My wife has caught me in RP having sex,tying females and she says that is porn and i'm cheating on her when do is she right? If you really care about your wife and remaining married to her, the question is not what any of us think about what happened. This situation is one you need to discuss with your wife, talking into account her feelings and opinions, and your feelings and opinions, without being sidetracked or influenced by any of our opinions here, and without using any of our opinions as part of your logic or rationale in that discussion. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted December 28, 2020 Share Posted December 28, 2020 9 minutes ago, ChinRey said: Yes, it's porn. Sorry, but no. If I'm engaged in sex with someone in SL (which I am not, but work with me here for a moment), I am not "porn." I am a real, living person who, just like the OP's wife, has real feelings. I am not a program, or a recording, or AI, or algorithms. And I'm a lot more than the sum of my textures and triangles. And that's as true if this is a "quickie" as it is if we are in a relationship together in SL. And, in such a case, I would deserve consideration too (although not likely as much as his wife). One of the greatest blights in SL are those self-absorbed and egocentric souls who wander around it treating other people as though they were NPCs in a video game, or animations in a CGI porn app. Let's not encourage that way of thinking. 10 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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