Do you talk to your friends?

[Paul Hexem]

I'm working on a new build this week and was talking to someone on my list about it, when something dawned on me.

Many people I've known in SL over the years never take the time to make random and idle conversations with their "friends". They only ever IM when they need something.

So a completely anecdotal poll; do you take the time to send messages to people on your list and just talk to them about whatever random thing?

[nikita2004 Ashley]

It depends on where u meet them.  If u guys meet up in the freebies event, then I would im them about free stuff.  Anyway I do not have a long list myself, those that idle for a long time.  I will choose to remove them. 

[Resi Pfeffer]

For me there is a 10:1 ratio

The most of the friends i have, are in my list because i added them, or they added me somewhere at a time i cant even remember. We have not that much in common except a few chats in the past. I probably never start a conversation by myself with them ever again until they delete me. 

And then there is a small but special group of friends. I know who they are and where i´ve met them, know their name and story, i start conversations and meet them sometimes.

[Talligurl]

This a hard one, yes I do send random IMs to my friends, but then I always need to sell something, 

[Orwar]

Any one of us only has so much time, and what we do with that time is highly individual. I do try to talk to all my friends and acquaintances on occasion but, there are simply too many people to keep up with them on a daily basis. Then there's the question of where to draw the lines - who is a friend and who is an acquaintance, who is a business associate and who is family?

Some people I'll hang with from the moment I log in until the moment I go to bed for the evening 5-6 days in a week for a few weeks and then we realize that we have other interests and other people we wish to put some time into, perhaps in a few weeks' time we'll repeat the cycle.

[Cindy Evanier]

I am rubbish at randomly saying Hi to friends because I am often/always busy myself and random Hi's can get distracting.  My best friend I always IM when he logs in because these days he doesn't get on much.  My 2 SL sister's and I have our own group and we start a chat in that and we are all comfy enough with each other to say reply Hi, bit busy chat later and none of us take offence.  We always plan a day/time to get together each week for a gossip anyway.   The others I never bother to chat unless there is a specific reason to message

[Fionalein]

Well it depends. I am like Resi here: some friends are real friends, others are just like facebook friends... I have no idea who they are.

[Jae Villa]

My friends certainly do. In fact I can barely sign in without at least one person checking how I am, talking about the disaster they had the night before with a new mesh body or discussing random stuff. 

Generally this means I never get anything done. My houses are half empty. My land is oddly shaped. Oh... is that totally unfinished sci-fi platform? Why yes it is. Damn social people...  

[Akasha Sternberg]

I agree with both Resi and Fionalein (both of them happen to me on my list haha) and while I´m more of a person that envolves in and triggers groupchats unless I shut all chats down to get stuff done I do talk to people 

[Catrie]

I only have like one friend I talk to in-game just to chat.  Others, we may message back or forth when we need/want something.  I tend to generally be quiet in group chats and only speak once in a blue moon, to the extent people forget I'm in the group.

 

[LittleMe Jewell]

I seldom ever IM anyone inworld, especially just for some random chit-chat.  There are two people that I regularly say Hi to, but our conversations are usually pretty short - probably because I truly suck at misc. conversation.  Thus, inworld IM for me is much like RL phone calls, texts, emails -- I contact people when I have a specific purpose.

[Kotelle]

I talk to 2 friends more or less regularily. I am also an introvert and it is difficult for me to have a meaningless conversation where both sides desperately try to find something in common to talk about. But with these two there’s always something to talk about and even meaningless chats are not so painful. From the other hand, if any of us is busy then we respect that. 

I wish that was easier to meet people and pass that gate where even chats about nothing are fun, simply because you already like each other

[Destiny Marques]

Being that I'm an introvert (and rather shy) - I don't often initiate conversations, but I will chat with friends who message me.

[Zeta Vandyke]

I try to send nonsense IM's every now and then to most my friends, or initiate talk but even with my fairly small friends list sometimes longer periods of silence occur. Not always a bad thing, and with some its perfectly fine, do not always need to talk much to stay friends (like in rl). I did loose some friends I did care about but just never had much contact with, tat is sad in a way but also OK. Its not like we can not get back in touch if occasion arises.

And it work both ways, the friends I "lost" was two way silence.

I do try not to just accept any friendship request or give out to many and keep the list manageable.

[norajulian]

A lot (a LOT) of people on my friends list are photography, landscaping, or wedding clients who may or may not need me for something, and I won’t message them first because of our professional relationship. That isn’t to say that I wouldn’t be open to friendship, but generally those people have their own circles and only discovered me to fulfill a need within my skill set. 

That being said, I am incredibly busy in my SL and don’t always have time to “hang” like I did in years past. There are people on my list who I spend time with as regularly as I can, but that may not be a frequent amount. I’m very much the type of person who can go for months without speaking to somebody and still consider them a friend, though. 

[Candice LittleBoots]

At any given moment I could count the friends on my friends' list on the fingers of one hand while still giving a vacant thumb's up. I have no idea of their names until I see them when I look at the list.

I like the fact SL is brimming with many, many friendly people, but I like my own interuppted space and company until I am ready for a chat. That chat will likely be with someone completely new. Occasionally that person will offer friendship and if I'm stood in front of them I will likely 'Accept'. If they're male with sexual expectations, once I have left I will unflag my online status.

I'll flick off the hitchhikers once in a while but in general they're doing no harm.

 

[slick505]

I believe that I for one am terrible at randomly saying hi to my friends on the grid. But then again with my usually busy work scheduale in Real Life that when I do get on I usually just get on to listen to music. I do in fact though get random messages once in a blue moon for those "Friends" that only ever message you when they need something from you.

[Tess Falworth]

Yes I feel that reaching out to people to just say hi in a silly, funny, or uplifting way may actually make someone's day. So, despite being busy when I do manage to log in, I will look to see who is online and send an IM to just inquire after them..recalling a past detail, asking about their current situation, etc. As with most of us, I have some people on my list who are acquaintances, who do not know me well or just know me as Tess, and nothing in RL. I also have some friends in SL who know my real name, who know me, my family, etc. I do have days when I need to speak to someone regarding something.. i.e. help with editing, asking about texturing, etc etc. But, those convos also often turn to more as we chat, once the issue at hand has been resolved.   As in RL, everything depends on where we met, the nature of the meeting, and whether or not they also engage me.

[Callum Meriman]

Generally I am not a FL spammer, although I have 2 spammers as close friends. One clearly logs in and drops a "hi :)" on every friend... a response might get a third line after 30 minutes when he gets through the more important responders... the other is more genuine, and aims his spam properly.

Best way to describe my FL is that I have a few "layers" of friends.

• There are those who are on my list as they rent land from me, or are VIPs in my club.
• There are those I class as close friends - these people will get a random Hi, or a glomp, or something.
• The there is family -  the group I talk to every day. My partner, my slaves, my kids

The contact I make generally depends what group people drop into. But, sometimes when I get busy, close to creative burnout, I really do drop back a lot and go very silent.

 

 

[Chic Aeon]

Most of my friends are builders so I do write to let them know the latest "gossip" or "drama" or anything else that might help then with event planning in the future.  

It should probably be noted that I only have EIGHT people that are friends on my list. I have 24 in all including my alts. Others are creators who want me on THEIR list so that they can pass me things easily and get in touch when needed. So I am certainly not typical --- and when have I EVER been "typical"?  

[animats]

Sure. I'll often chat with friends face to face in SL. That's kind of the point of SL, right?

The first thing I built in SL was a little cafe, as a place to hang out and talk.

 

[Coffee Pancake]

Most everyone I know is a creator of some description, so it tends to stay in IM passing pictures back and forth... although I do have a few chairs at my little dev area and some do drop in to work on a script or something, sometimes just having a little on screen company can make all the difference, even if everyone is deep into their own projects.

[Paul Hexem]

1 hour ago, CoffeeDujour said:

Most everyone I know is a creator of some description, so it tends to stay in IM passing pictures back and forth... although I do have a few chairs at my little dev area and some do drop in to work on a script or something, sometimes just having a little on screen company can make all the difference, even if everyone is deep into their own projects.

I like to call that doing different things together. 

I'm the same way, my parcel is always open rez, scripts enabled, for that reason. 

4 hours ago, Chic Aeon said:

Most of my friends are builders so I do write to let them know the latest "gossip" or "drama" or anything else that might help then with event planning in the future.  

That actually sounds really useful. 

Edited May 10, 2018 by Gadget Portal

[Maureen Boccaccio]

I now feel compelled to IM every friend who is inworld.

 

[Paul Hexem]

1 hour ago, Maureen Boccaccio said:

I now feel compelled to IM every friend who is inworld.