Does it say something about me if I feel more "vulnerable" as a woman avi?

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

3 minutes ago, Punky Starchild said:

 Turn off your computerd 

Yes always. But it's spelled computurd.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Ingrid Ingersoll

[Scylla Rhiadra]

10 minutes ago, Punky Starchild said:

To be serious for one moment and answer your question. SL has no effect on my emotions any way other than time for fun, exploration and relaxation. If you treat SL like RL life your looking to get hurt, find trouble and emotionally unstable. This is a virtual world people, relax, your not vulnerable, your not a famous superstar and no one really cares about you tbh. Turn off your computerd get some fresh air and clear your senile brain.

Thank you for answering my question seriously, which is actually all I wanted . . . although I could have done without the ad hominems at the end.

My point is that you and everyone else are in SL because it provides something in the way of an emotional affect. It might just be the pleasure of visiting a beautiful sim. It might be the sense of exploring an unexplored part of your self: perhaps D/s or gender or sexuality. Maybe you're here for the sex. Maybe it's the friendships.

Whatever -- all of these things produce emotional affect. All of them impact on us in some way, or there would be literally no point in being here at all. We'd be staring blankly at a screen wondering why we were bothering at all

And it's absurd to argue that SL produces only positive emotional or psychological or social impacts. If it's true that you gain something positively from your friendships here, it can also be true, of necessity, that those friends can "hurt" you. If they can't, then you're not treating them as what they are: real people. You're treating them as algorithms.

The kinds of negative impacts, which might well include a sense of vulnerability on occasion, are going to depend on how you approach SL. Possibly you DO approach it rather blankly, as though everything here, including the people, are rather "unreal." Others don't. And to assume that your approach is the only valid one is not merely arrogant; it's also ridiculously solipsistic.

There are other experiences of the world, including SL, than your own.

Edited July 26, 2023 by Scylla Rhiadra

[Persephone Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Punky Starchild said:

I am on a terrible, old laptop because my main PC is in the shop my typing is being severly hampered so ....oooops on my spelling etc.

Ah, that explains your crankiness.

[Dune Ravenwood]

Good one, and it does make me extremely cranky and "vulnerable" CHOW

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

On 7/21/2023 at 4:16 PM, Eddy Vortex said:

🙄🙄🙄

Cisgender people think “cis” is a slur because they use “trans” as a slur. 

What's the right term now? I can't keep up 

[Love Zhaoying]

8 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

What's the right term now? I can't keep up 

Them cis people don't like "normie" either, there's just no pleasing some people even on their own terf.

[Aethelwine]

16 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

What's the right term now? I can't keep up 

Whilst some make a living out of advising on inclusive language, it doesn't take any book learning to know when someone is setting out to be offensive. 

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

31 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Them cis people don't like "normie" either, there's just no pleasing some people even on their own terf.

Yeah I have that in my profile.  I'm taking it back. Im taking back all the words ive been called on the sl forums. I've been called a dirty normie voice spammer, cis, obliquely called a terf. I'm taking it all back. I figure as long as my dog likes me I'm just fine .

I feel so,vulnerable as a woman right now 

Edited July 26, 2023 by Ingrid Ingersoll

[Robberinthemuseum]

8 minutes ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

dirty normie voice spammer

🤣

[Ceka Cianci]

2 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

What's the right term now? I can't keep up 

The right term is, Hey you.. hehehe

[Love Zhaoying]

3 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Yeah I have that in my profile.  I'm taking it back. Im taking back all the words ive been called on the sl forums. I've been called a dirty normie voice spammer, cis, obliquely called a terf. I'm taking it all back. I figure as long as my dog likes me I'm just fine .

I feel so,vulnerable as a woman right now 

Sounds like you're almost ready for an Alpha!

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

3 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Sounds like you're almost ready for an Alpha!

What's that? 

[Luna Bliss]

7 hours ago, Punky Starchild said:

no one really cares about you tbh

That doesn't have to be true, Punky.  I was feeling so down part of yesterday -- I don't know what was wrong, but I felt like a nuclear bomb had gone off and I was the only one left in the world, sitting alone amidst an apocalyptic city.  I reached out to a friend who was inworld at the time and we had a nice chat. There was no problem to be solved really, and we talked about all sorts of things, and before long I felt back to normal.  I had also messaged a friend who was not inworld at the time, telling her I felt horribly bad and asking her to send love. I got this reply:

"Resident X: I'm always sending loving vibes to you iI have a green man candle on my altar for you ... you are a part of my prayers daily and I always send love and light. Sadness sometimes comes with no reason it can be the body's way of cleansing so don't focus on why ;look at each tear as a tiny little cleaner leaving your body with energy you don't need. Thank you for calling me into the dances I am always with you and I'm sure that's the only reason I have made it through this heat. Thank you & love you"

[Lindal Kidd]

6 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

Im taking back all the words ive been called on the sl forums. I've been called a dirty normie voice spammer, cis, obliquely called a terf. I'm taking it all back.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sorry that people have called you names. But I don't think you can take back things that others have said about you. THEY have to take them back.

You can refuse to let 'em stick though, and good for you!

[JeromFranzic]

20 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That doesn't have to be true, Punky.  I was feeling so down part of yesterday -- I don't know what was wrong, but I felt like a nuclear bomb had gone off and I was the only one left in the world, sitting alone amidst an apocalyptic city.  I reached out to a friend who was inworld at the time and we had a nice chat. There was no problem to be solved really, and we talked about all sorts of things, and before long I felt back to normal.  I had also messaged a friend who was not inworld at the time, telling her I felt horribly bad and asking her to send love. I got this reply:

"Resident X: I'm always sending loving vibes to you iI have a green man candle on my altar for you ... you are a part of my prayers daily and I always send love and light. Sadness sometimes comes with no reason it can be the body's way of cleansing so don't focus on why ;look at each tear as a tiny little cleaner leaving your body with energy you don't need. Thank you for calling me into the dances I am always with you and I'm sure that's the only reason I have made it through this heat. Thank you & love you"

Save this post. Precious... ❤️

[Arielle Popstar]

1 hour ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

What's that? 

The opposite of beta's?

Edited July 26, 2023 by Arielle Popstar

[Silent Mistwalker]

9 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

We'd be staring blankly at a screen wondering why we were bothering at all

You still have that damn camera planted somewhere in here don't you! 😱

[cariboustag]

13 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Them cis people don't like "normie" either, there's just no pleasing some people even on their own terf.

Appreciate the TERF pun.

[Robberinthemuseum]

14 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

What's that? 

I dunno, but in my experience, secondlife Alphas are rl INCELS 😅

[Missy Starchild]

I play almost exclusively female avatars. Since it's a virtual world and I have many tools at my disposal to deal with potential trolls and/or @ssholes, I rarely ever feel vulnerable at all to others around me. However, there is always a bit of unease when I reject a guy's advances because I have no idea how he is going to respond; many times, they keep badgering me until I block. Another time, I told a guy "No" and he left nasty remarks on my dashboard (thank god for the option to disallow comments).

The ONLY time I feel any kind of vulnerability is when I rezz into a General or Moderate area and my clothes are not loaded. "Please PLEASE load before an admin sees me" I say as I panic to myself.

[Rowan Amore]

21 minutes ago, Missy Starchild said:

I play almost exclusively female avatars. Since it's a virtual world and I have many tools at my disposal to deal with potential trolls and/or @ssholes, I rarely ever feel vulnerable at all to others around me. However, there is always a bit of unease when I reject a guy's advances because I have no idea how he is going to respond; many times, they keep badgering me until I block. Another time, I told a guy "No" and he left nasty remarks on my dashboard (thank god for the option to disallow comments).

The ONLY time I feel any kind of vulnerability is when I rezz into a General or Moderate area and my clothes are not loaded. "Please PLEASE load before an admin sees me" I say as I panic to myself.

I'd have left the comments on your feed and put a little note in your profile directing folks to read it.  The only one who comes out looking bad on that is the knucklehead who posted it.

[Solar Legion]

5 hours ago, Missy Starchild said:

The ONLY time I feel any kind of vulnerability is when I rezz into a General or Moderate area and my clothes are not loaded. "Please PLEASE load before an admin sees me" I say as I panic to myself.

Just gonna comment on this: Not to make you more self aware or anything but how long it takes for you to see your clothing differs from how long it might take those theoretical admins to see it load in.

[Missy Starchild]

1 hour ago, Solar Legion said:

Just gonna comment on this: Not to make you more self aware or anything but how long it takes for you to see your clothing differs from how long it might take those theoretical admins to see it load in.

I know. I have had people tell me before that I was naked for a little bit, hence my concern.

[Solar Legion]

Just now, Missy Starchild said:

I know. I have had people tell me before that I was naked for a little bit, hence my concern.

Only made the post because of how that part read.

Though to be fair any parcel or region admin that does not give a user a bit of lead time upon arrival to see if their clothing is just being slow to rez in is. .. Well they shouldn't be doing any sort of admin duties if they shoot first.

if they're worth their salt they will give a bit of time for loading and will wait to see if anyone complains about you being nude. Then they should message to see if you are indeed wearing anything.

One should not be punished for such glitchery.

[Gabriele Graves]

5 minutes ago, Missy Starchild said:

I know. I have had people tell me before that I was naked for a little bit, hence my concern.

I wouldn't worry about the rez time if I were you.  It's hilarious in a platform that has a penchant for rezzing the naked body first and everything else sometime later that any admin would eject/ban someone for being naked when they teleport in.  I would say that if it happens to you it's probably a good thing because the admins are asshats and they've saved you wasting your time there.

Edited July 29, 2023 by Gabriele Graves