What's the best way to let someone know their avatar's hands are too small?

[Krystina Ferraris]

12 minutes ago, Aiyumei said:

For guys: 
"Hey, your hands are way too small"
"Hey, your head is too small"
"You might need to cut down on the steroids, you look like a balloon"
"How are you still conscious with that third leg swinging down there?"

For girls: 
"How is that your back not killing you carrying all that weight on your chest?"
"Can you fit through that door? It looks kinda narrow for you"
"Maybe you should cut back on the cookies, hun?"
"In normal circumstances with that shape your heart will likely give out."

I don’t know where you live but if you said any of that stuff in RL to anyone, male or female, over here you’d be told exactly where to go (and today of all days after a few pints one might even get more than they bargained for) 🇮🇪🤣

It happens many times that I visit a patient (horses usually) in some yard and the owner wonders why the poor animal is hurting under the saddle or “no longer forward as he used to”. One look at the owner and I can see their arm is twice my leg’s circumference.

Is it my place to tell them the issue isn’t the poor horse? No but I can usually easily demonstrate that for the animal’s sake. That’s enough for me and my job done as a  vet.

People should and do know better, there is enough info going around for people to make the right choices without the gestapo going around telling them what to do. In many cases people are trying to do their best to better themselves and it takes time, ideals of beauty are different around the world and it isn’t anyone’s place to judge or change those.

[Istelathis]

It is a form of control, to impose your desire upon others.  To tell them they are not pleasing to your eyes, therefore need to change to something you find more appropriate.  I suppose in a way my response is likewise a form of control of thought though, so I am no better.  Just do your own thing , and perhaps continue your crusade against those who have slighted hands 😝  Who am I to speak out against it?

I welcome my small handed denizens of SL, may they prosper.  Surely, they need to match their size of hand to size in general, so that we may eventually overtake the tall folk of SL when we impose a war upon the tall ones.. but I can make an exception.  Small hands shows a true spirit, and are welcomed among our kind 🥰 It helps that they can wield our weapons, which is handy.  Mind you, such size control is warranted in SL.  I have had many an avatar trample upon me, and such vengeance is justifiable. 

Edited March 17, 2022 by Istelathis

[Syo Emerald]

Many people are weirdly proportioned. Tiny pea heads sitting on a slim torso with watermellon boobs, followed by an ass to wide and far out, it could be used as a table, thights the size of big tree trunks and then teeny tiny feet with ankles that would break, trying to carry all of the above. Also arms too short to even wipe themself after business and yes, teeny tiny hands with that.

But I don't say anything. They aren't going to adjust their avatar anyway, so why bother? The only time I would say something would be, when a counter attack is needed.

[Aiyumei]

32 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

I don’t know where you live but if you said any of that stuff in RL to anyone, male or female, over here you’d be told exactly where to go

Eastern Europe, our lives are too difficult for us to have time to deal with first world problems 
People do get offended here as well but not as much as some individuals we have all seen on the internet.

[cunomar]

Last time and very last time i offered a stranger what was intended as friendly advice i commented on how interesting their profile was and suggested they might want to correct a simple single spelling mistake , cant remember what it was but it made it very obvious to me that English was not the persons first language though i'd never have known otherwise .

I had no ulterior motive , wasn't even trying to start a conversation , so the torrent of abuse i got for bothering went right over my head . Shrugs , I will assume they blocked me and then corrected the spelling anyway lol  .

[Blush Bravin]

After seeing poorly proportioned avatars for years here in SL, I finally found myself in a position where I could help those who knew something was off but just wasn't sure what was off about the appearance of their avatar. I created a proportion tool and made it available for free through the Maitreya Lara Friends group. However, the tool doesn't address hand size, so perhaps I need to rethink how I could add that to the tool as well. When I was taking human anatomy drawing in college, my instructor said that a very common mistake in drawing the human form was to draw the hands too small. She said when the human hand is held up to the face with the bottom of the hand aligning with the bottom of the chin the middle finger should reach to well above the middle of the forehead. 

As for the op's question. In my experience the best way to tell someone their hands are too small is to just say they are too small but only .... ONLY ... after they have actually asked for help or your opinion.

[Liaa Nova]

You don't. My avatar's hands are small, I'm aware of it, it was intentional. Do I care for anyone else's opinion, unless maybe someone photographing me? Nope. I am certain I can find fault with other people's avatars too; nobody is perfect

[Vanity Fair]

My personal pet peeve is avatars whose arms are too short. @Strawberry Lindenfirst mentioned it on her blog, in a blogpost about proper body proportions, and ever since, I notice it. You tend to see it a LOT.

But I wouldn't dream of telling them about it. It's YOUR Second Life, you do you, boo. You don't want to be able to wipe your ass, your choice 😉

Edited March 17, 2022 by Vanity Fair

[JeromFranzic]

12 hours ago, Coffee Pancake said:

As a Kupra user, I don't think I have any right to get upset about a little exaggeration.. but sometimes .. just ..

(mind you, I've found myself in that boat IRL and come away thinking all is forgiven, SL was right all along)

I feel the same way when I'm in world with my transgender alt, when she wears her Kalhene Erika body.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Liaa Nova said:

You don't. My avatar's hands are small, I'm aware of it, it was intentional.

This is the kind of thing that fascinates me.

In some ways, choosing to represent as a "realistic" avatar, with proper body proportions, photorealistic skin, well-textured mesh hair, and so on, really kind of represents, viewed in one way, a failure of the imagination. We can look like, "be," almost anything we want here -- and the best I can come up with is an attractive blonde in her mid to late 20s?

I actually kind of admire people who choose to wear clearly "exaggerated" or "unrealistic" mesh bodies such as Kupra, or who go out of their way NOT to look conventionally attractive or humanoid. Looking attractive in SL is easy -- in fact, really, it's the default. And it really isn't difficult to look "realistic" either.

Pushing the envelope on your looks -- going for a highly stylized, exaggerated human avatar, or something equally "unrealistic," is bold and interesting. Bolder, and more interesting than I am, as it happens . . .

[Annalise Evergarden]

On 3/16/2022 at 12:57 PM, Alwin Alcott said:

set them on fire?

I like your thinking

Edited March 17, 2022 by Mortified Wanderer

[Vanity Fair]

31 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Pushing the envelope on your looks -- going for a highly stylized, exaggerated human avatar, or something equally "unrealistic," is bold and interesting. Bolder, and more interesting than I am, as it happens . . .

What I find really interesting is that this sort of thing (plus Instagram filters, etc.) is having an impact on what plastic surgery people are choosing to have IN REAL LIFE.

Every couple of days, I must pop into the r/Botchedsurgeries subReddit community on Reddit, just to see what horrible plastic surgery that men and women (who often suffer from a mental health condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD) undergo in order to make themselves look more “handsome” or “beautiful”.

It’s a never-ending hot mess, a combination train wreck-dumpster fire that appalls me, yet I cannot look away. I routinely click through to see the pictures of botched plastic surgery results—butt implants that stick out like shelves, facial filler that gives unnaturally sharp cheekbones and chins, eyebrow lifts that make people look like they should speak Vulcan, breast implants that look like overinflated balloons that are about to pop at any second.

Edited March 17, 2022 by Vanity Fair

[Scylla Rhiadra]

8 minutes ago, Vanity Fair said:

What I find really interesting is that this sort of thing (plus Instagram filters, etc.) is having an impact on what plastic surgery people are choosing to have IN REAL LIFE.

Every couple of days, I must pop into the r/Botchedsurgeries subReddit community on Reddit, just to see what horrible plastic surgery that men and women (who often suffer from a mental health condition called Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD) undergo in order to make themselves look more “handsome” or “beautiful”.

It’s a never-ending hot mess, a combination train wreck-dumpster fire that appalls me, yet I cannot look away. I routinely click through to see the pictures of botched plastic surgery results—butt implants that stick out like shelves, facial filler that gives unnaturally sharp cheekbones and chins, eyebrow lifts that make people look like they should speak Vulcan, breast implants that look like overinflated balloons that are about to pop at any second.

Yeah, that's the ugly flipside of the coin. BDD is complicated, and there are undoubtedly a great many social factors at play -- unrealistic body standards for women in particular set by popular media and culture being an important one. 

In some ways, the Kupra body (and before it, Slink HG and Belleza Freya) are also responses to that: they are extreme versions of one particular model of feminine beauty now.

I think that shadowing that trend in SL is pretty harmless, but I've no doubt there are instances of people whose BDD is expressed through their avatars as well.

[RootBeerDrinkingLampshade]

44 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Looking attractive in SL is easy...

It sure is.

I can't tell you how often Maddy takes me to bed and pops off my top.

[Cali Souther]

57 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This is the kind of thing that fascinates me.

In some ways, choosing to represent as a "realistic" avatar, with proper body proportions, photorealistic skin, well-textured mesh hair, and so on, really kind of represents, viewed in one way, a failure of the imagination. We can look like, "be," almost anything we want here -- and the best I can come up with is an attractive blonde in her mid to late 20s?

I actually kind of admire people who choose to wear clearly "exaggerated" or "unrealistic" mesh bodies such as Kupra, or who go out of their way NOT to look conventionally attractive or humanoid. Looking attractive in SL is easy -- in fact, really, it's the default. And it really isn't difficult to look "realistic" either.

Pushing the envelope on your looks -- going for a highly stylized, exaggerated human avatar, or something equally "unrealistic," is bold and interesting. Bolder, and more interesting than I am, as it happens . . .

To answer the OP,   I doubt I would ever notice someone's hands are really small - unless as others have said - if a friend asked me to look at them specifically.

 

@Scylla Rhiadra,   Your post is spot on!

I often change from human to cat, to elephant, to something else.  I am always looking for fun avatars to try,  for that very reason.  Depending on mood,  human can be boring (for me).  

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

12 minutes ago, RootBeerDrinkingLampshade said:

It sure is.

I can't tell you how often Maddy takes me to bed and pops off my top.

I would like to remind you that this forum is PG.

What you do with your bulbs and sockets (disgusting!) in the privacy of Maddy's skybox is entirely your own business. But your lewd circuitry does not belong here.

@Vanity Fair, it may be time to bring your nun into service again.

[StarlanderGoods]

3 hours ago, Liaa Nova said:

You don't. My avatar's hands are small, I'm aware of it, it was intentional. Do I care for anyone else's opinion, unless maybe someone photographing me? Nope. I am certain I can find fault with other people's avatars too; nobody is perfect

It´s not a fault if it´s intentional, and I think this is the important thing, some people do need help with proportions, because not everybody studied anatomy or is observant of these things.

Im not of the mind that the situation mirrors an RL situation, I cant change the size of my hands in RL, but you can in SL.

How to tell someone? I think that you should only tell someone if you are familiar with them, and just go "hands too small, fix that".  If its a stranger, better leave it alone, unless you are at a starting hub or someone actually asks for your opinion regarding proportions.

[Madelaine McMasters]

3 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I would like to remind you that this forum is PG.

What you do with your bulbs and sockets (disgusting!) in the privacy of Maddy's skybox is entirely your own business. But your lewd circuitry does not belong here.

@Vanity Fair, it may be time to bring your nun into service again.

You'd sing a different tune if you ever felt her glass smooth skin, heard her hiss as you unscrew her top, or experienced her bubbly personality.

And her taste, oh her taste. So much sweeter than wine.

[Arduenn Schwartzman]

On 3/16/2022 at 5:11 PM, Bree Giffen said:

What's the best way to let someone know their avatar's hands are too small? [...] Does anyone have some good ideas they want to share?

I'd take a screenshot for my OCD Collection Of Things That Annoy Me and then get on with my life.

Btw, don't click on this link.

[Rowan Amore]

47 minutes ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

I'd take a screenshot for my OCD Collection Of Things That Annoy Me and then get on with my life.

Btw, don't click on this link.

Clicked it, loved it.

[Eddy Vortex]

On 3/16/2022 at 12:39 PM, Ceka Cianci said:

The best way I know is , by sticking your hands under your arm pits, then pulling them out and smelling them.. Then taking two steps back Raising your arms up while getting on one knee and saying really loud with enthusiasm, Suupa Star! \o/

Honestly,That's really the only way of doing it..

This is the only proper answer to unsolicited advice.

[Liaa Nova]

1 hour ago, StarlanderGoods said:

It´s not a fault if it´s intentional, and I think this is the important thing, some people do need help with proportions, because not everybody studied anatomy or is observant of these things.

Im not of the mind that the situation mirrors an RL situation, I cant change the size of my hands in RL, but you can in SL.

How to tell someone? I think that you should only tell someone if you are familiar with them, and just go "hands too small, fix that".  If its a stranger, better leave it alone, unless you are at a starting hub or someone actually asks for your opinion regarding proportions.

I wouldn't dream of saying to someone nose too big, hands too small, head too square etc, not unless they asked my opinion or for help. Lots of people don't want a perfectly proportioned avi, like my hands are small but totally proportioned to my avi and she looks great IMO. I tried hands at bigger sizes and looked ridiculous. Nobody has an avi that is totally 'right', not even Skell I bet xD. There is always something we can comment on as not being how *we* like others to look, but why should people change for me?

[Nalates Urriah]

The answer depends on who one is considering making the comment to and why.

There is that aspect of a friend telling you there is something stuck on your tooth or your breath is bad.

[Love Zhaoying]

On 3/16/2022 at 12:50 PM, Madelaine McMasters said:

What's the best way to let someone know they ask inappropriate questions?

Spring + Tiny hands, if anyone asks an inappropriate question, just send them this.

 

[Love Zhaoying]

3 hours ago, Cali Souther said:

@Scylla Rhiadra,   Your post is spot on!

I often change from human to cat, to elephant, to something else.  I am always looking for fun avatars to try,  for that very reason.  Depending on mood,  human can be boring (for me).  

Good point! I hate when people say my paws or tail are too small.