On why people ignore random IMs

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

49 minutes ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

Hi , hello, where you come from = straight forward

 

compliment your ava, or cloth its drama, since people can inspect your ava without need tobask you

 

imo

There are plenty of reasons to compliment someone on their avatar aside from fishing for shopping tips.  It's a way of showing appreciation for the time and effort a person has invested in creating something that they find aesthetically pleasing and can open up several avenues of conversation.

Conversations tend to take a little longer, but are usually a lot more effective when it comes to actually getting to know a person and making new friends than the ASL approach which , to me at least, always feels a little like "hey, please fill out this short makeshift questionnaire to determine your general demographic, and could you hop on this set of poseballs while you're doing that to save me some time?!"

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 hour ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

bwcause you are not important 😁 to them. I f you aee well known Dj or sugardaddy, every girls will respon you

No.

[tomm55]

7 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

Me...I'm Rowan, it's impolite to ask a woman her age and I'm from Second Life.

I would say that it's impolite to ask anyone his or her age and I don't like if someone asks it right away (or follows the age/sex/location).

Once I was even asked by a random lady that went the ASL way to prove my age  I don't know what she was expecting, that I will send her my personal ID or driving license?? 

 

Edited January 14, 2022 by tomm55

[Nick0678]

2 hours ago, tomm55 said:

I would say that it's impolite to ask anyone his or her age and I don't like if someone asks it right away (or follows the age/sex/location).

Never thought of anyone as being impolite because they asked my age/sex/location.  Depending on the account I am 29 female from Bulgaria, or 35 male from Spain, or 44 male from Greece or 59 female from Israel. (hmm never tried Latin America..)

Edited January 14, 2022 by Nick0678

[tomm55]

1 hour ago, Nick0678 said:

Never thought of anyone as being impolite because they asked my age/sex/location.

It also depends on the situation...

[Silent Mistwalker]

I mostly ignore random IMs because 99.9999999999% of the time it's some jerk of a guy who only wants to get his rocks off and doesn't give a damn about anyone but himself.  And then of course they get pissy if I do answer and turn them down, never stopping to consider their target just might be a r.ape victim. Oh no. She has to be some kind of lesbian or prude or something I can't name without getting banned.

This is the kind of crap I have to deal with on a daily basis in SL and in RL so yes, I do tend to avoid people. I got fed up with being treated like ***** decades ago.

[Nick0678]

57 minutes ago, tomm55 said:

It also depends on the situation...

Hahaha always PG my dear fellow.. always PG. (unless we take it to Skype, then with video chat they do get to know who i am )

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

9 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

bwcause you are not important 😁 to them. I f you aee well known Dj or sugardaddy, every girls will respon you

imo

Hey, would you like to meet for a dance and chat inworld sometime?  I would love to just talk and find out for myself if you are playing a character or if you actually believe the stuff you post.

I have no friend group to introduce you to.  I don't personally know any DJs and I'm not a sugar mama.  You couldn't use me to climb a social ladder or to gain influence. I cannot give you credibility. I am just offering you a chance to meet someone who might value you just for being you?   No commitments, no expectations, just friendship.

What kind of music do you like?  What times are you usually inworld?  I will send you a calling card and if you want a friendship not based on what you can gain socially, you can send me an IM.

[MoiraKathleen]

Generally, I will respond to random IM's, with some exceptions.  The exceptions would be if it was someone whose name I didn't recognize and they don't appear to be in the same region that I am on, it's a clear request for sex in the opening sentence, or I can tell from the person's profile and/or groups that we are not interested in the same types of activities.   I am not here for any dating/intimate/sexual activities, so if that is the gist of someone's profile/groups, I figure we won't have much in common.   Additonally, I am not overly social  or good at conversation, so even if I do respond, it likely won't turn in to some wonderful extended conversation.   I also do not get very many random IM's - which is fine with me. 

Specifically in terms of being out dancing and getting an IM from another person at the same venue asking me to dance, I do answer those, but always decline the offer (usually with a comment thanking them for the invitation, but noting that my RL husband doesn't like me dancing with other men).  I try to avoid dancing at places where everyone is dancing as couples, or are waiting to be asked to dance as part of a couple. 

 

[Ayeleeon]

9 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

Never thought of anyone as being impolite because they asked my age/sex/location.  Depending on the account I am 29 female from Bulgaria, or 35 male from Spain, or 44 male from Greece or 59 female from Israel. (hmm never tried Latin America..)

I was 33 for several years because it's easier to hit the same key twice.

[Krystina Ferraris]

4 hours ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Hey, would you like to meet for a dance and chat inworld sometime?  I would love to just talk and find out for myself if you are playing a character or if you actually believe the stuff you post.

I have no friend group to introduce you to.  I don't personally know any DJs and I'm not a sugar mama.  You couldn't use me to climb a social ladder or to gain influence. I cannot give you credibility. I am just offering you a chance to meet someone who might value you just for being you?   No commitments, no expectations, just friendship.

What kind of music do you like?  What times are you usually inworld?  I will send you a calling card and if you want a friendship not based on what you can gain socially, you can send me an IM.

He has a pet hen, a vet is useful for something.

[Bree Giffen]

The main reason why I don't answer right away is because I'm never fully focused on SL. When I go to any region, it takes a while to load and I will immediately switch over to watch  a video, read an email, or doodle out some sketches. After a few minutes, I switch back to SL and stay focused until I encounter another loading issue and I switch out once again. During a shopping event I usually have to wait for the vendors to load after I walk to a new area and I end up jumping in and out of SL several times during that event. I also do this whenever I have to wait in real life. I get on my phone until I can get back to what I was doing. I like to read these forums while I'm in a check out line! 

[Doris Johnsky]

18 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

Hi , hello, where you come from = straight forward

 

compliment your ava, or cloth its drama, since people can inspect your ava without need tobask you

 

imo

Straightforward is fine.   Asking outright for free sex is rude and worthy of getting your arse kicked. 

 

Inspecting is a solo activity. Complimenting someone is a social activity. 

[Nick0678]

4 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

I was 33 for several years because it's easier to hit the same key twice.

Ahh you remind me one of my SL ex's on that, she has been saying 27 since 2015..

[Kalegthepsionicist]

On 1/14/2022 at 4:41 PM, Scylla Rhiadra said:

No.

yes

 

[Kalegthepsionicist]

9 hours ago, Doris Johnsky said:

 

 

Inspecting is a solo activity. Complimenting someone is a social activity. 

ah no i dont do that , feel like drama *****ty for me.

since actually I really not amaze .

cant pretend.

 

I amaze with the creator of the mesh, not the ava that wearing it

Edited January 15, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Ceka Cianci]

Someone being on an alt or not has no difference in if I'm going to respond or not.. Sometimes I'm on an alt as well. But I don't really IM people anyways..

A lot of times it's if I'm really busy or not and don't have the time..

Other times I don't have my chat windows up and miss them altogether.. I don't have that ding sound working, so I'll usually see the chat icon flashing to let me know something is going on..

[Ren Toxx]

I usually go along with IMing where I hang out, but only because a lot of people seem to insist on talking privately—either for no discernible reason whatsoever, or because of the well-known one. Whenever I find this absurd to the point of annoying, I either compel them to switch to local, or disable my IMs completely.

Few do continue in local, even after swearing on their mothers’ honour (😏) that they only meant polite, normal conversation. Go figure.

Edited January 15, 2022 by Ren Toxx

[Adamburp Adamczyk]

On 1/14/2022 at 6:07 AM, Kalegthepsionicist said:

Me..

asking age, sex and location.

my first few days in SL i ask these, and everyone freak out🤪n

sounds like a typical day at Social island 10

[Scylla Rhiadra]

6 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

yes

 

My objection to your original post was your suggestion that "every girl" responds to "sugar daddies" and "popular DJs" -- and, by clear implication, to no one else.

I have a pretty extensive list of women friends, and I can confidently assert that none of them would fall into this camp. Neither, for that matter, do I.

Women's tastes and interests are infinitely varied. Please don't reduce us to an Incel-like stereotype.

And if you yourself are having difficulties connecting with women, consider the possibility, perhaps, that approaching us as cliches may be part of the problem. The thread that you link to actually should provide you with some insights into what does, and likely doesn't, work when trying to connect with someone.

[Aiyumei]

22 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I have a pretty extensive list of women friends, and I can confidently assert that none of them would fall into this camp.

Confirmed. Sugar Daddies or popular DJs are the least interesting people for me. I'm more likely to respond to some complete stranger with 0 info on his profile than to deal with any of those two types.

24 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

And if you yourself are having difficulties connecting with women, consider the possibility, perhaps, that approaching us as cliches may be part of the problem.

Scy, may I pitch in advice on proper manners and etiquette, combined with grammatically correct structure of the sentences with various interests and hobbies worth discussing and have conversation over. 

[Ren Toxx]

46 minutes ago, Aiyumei said:

Confirmed. Sugar Daddies or popular DJs are the least interesting people for me. I'm more likely to respond to some complete stranger with 0 info on his profile than to deal with any of those two types.

Confirmed, too. I’d automatically think quite poorly of anyone assuming, just on the basis of gender, that I might be in need of financial support—let alone willing to accept it in exchange for affection, fake or otherwise.

As for DJs, I’m merely indifferent. They’re no more interesting to me than soccer players are to anyone who’s not into soccer.

Edited January 15, 2022 by Ren Toxx

[Rowan Amore]

😁😅😆😂

[Scylla Rhiadra]

19 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

😁😅😆😂

I bet DJs love playing this one.

It does seem to me that they might have tidied up the DJ a bit. He's a little . . . sloppy. Like an SL male who hasn't taken a lot of care over his looks.

[LilNosferatu]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I have a pretty extensive list of women friends, and I can confidently assert that none of them would fall into this camp. Neither, for that matter, do I.

 

34 minutes ago, Aiyumei said:

Confirmed. Sugar Daddies or popular DJs are the least interesting people for me. I'm more likely to respond to some complete stranger with 0 info on his profile than to deal with any of those two types.

 

14 minutes ago, Ren Toxx said:

Confirmed, too.

Gonna make this a +3 🤣 I have no interest in sugar daddies, unless maybe it's a purely platonic arrangement and he's willing to provide some glucose for my partner as well. 😏 I mean hey, you never know! But the popular DJ thing...? Do DJs become renowned in SL? I don't think I've ever remembered a particular DJ, I mean sure some are better than others but like, idk that seems like a very odd concept to me and I can't really see how ladies would just melt at their feet purely from their DJ status, but maybe that's just me. 😆 Honestly I'd think being like some hot-shot creator or the owner of a popular store/brand would carry more weight.

But yeah, point is, don't assume all women / femme presenting avatars are in SL for the same thing. Don't blame the alpha chads for stealing all the women and say that's why they don't talk to you.