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On why people ignore random IMs


Ayeleeon
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In another post, the subject came up regarding why some people might not respond to an IM from an account they think is an alt. I get the reasons given even though I am not sure I would respond the same way to the situation. On thinking about this however, something else occurs to me. I have noticed that for me at least, the random IMs I send out seem to be more likely to get a response if I am in a sim with very few other people. If I go to a club with a huge crowd, I will get very few responses. Go to some sim where there are maybe 5 or 6 others, and suddenly the odds of getting a response go way up. One thought I have is that in the crowd, local chat is often active and people focus on that, where in the empty places often there is nothing going on in local. I am wondering if others have experienced this and what people think about it.

 

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In my experience clubs have been places where people park their avatars while they afk so people look at their profile and click the flickr link.
Smaller clubs that cap at around 30 usually have live people, or clubs that require a one time group fee but not a guarantee.

For being a social network in my experience there are a lot of anti social people these days. 

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22 minutes ago, Ayeleeon said:

In another post, the subject came up regarding why some people might not respond to an IM from an account they think is an alt. I get the reasons given even though I am not sure I would respond the same way to the situation. On thinking about this however, something else occurs to me. I have noticed that for me at least, the random IMs I send out seem to be more likely to get a response if I am in a sim with very few other people. If I go to a club with a huge crowd, I will get very few responses. Go to some sim where there are maybe 5 or 6 others, and suddenly the odds of getting a response go way up. One thought I have is that in the crowd, local chat is often active and people focus on that, where in the empty places often there is nothing going on in local. I am wondering if others have experienced this and what people think about it.

 

I think there's something to that. It's feast or famine in crowded sims in my experience. Either no one talks or IMs one word responses or once you get one, you soon get a cascade of IMs. Prefer less crowded sims anyway so...there's that.

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1 hour ago, Jake Mysterious said:

so people look at their profile and click the flickr link.

What link, very few of them seem to have them. I always look for a Flickr link when checking profiles, and that to is more likely to be found in less crowded sims, especially the ones that are highly photogenic.

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1 hour ago, Ayeleeon said:

In another post, the subject came up regarding why some people might not respond to an IM from an account they think is an alt. I get the reasons given even though I am not sure I would respond the same way to the situation. On thinking about this however, something else occurs to me. I have noticed that for me at least, the random IMs I send out seem to be more likely to get a response if I am in a sim with very few other people. If I go to a club with a huge crowd, I will get very few responses. Go to some sim where there are maybe 5 or 6 others, and suddenly the odds of getting a response go way up. One thought I have is that in the crowd, local chat is often active and people focus on that, where in the empty places often there is nothing going on in local. I am wondering if others have experienced this and what people think about it.

 

I am much more likely to answer a random IM in a less crowded environment. 

Why?  In a crowded club I see a random IM as a fishing expedition. I figure the same exact IM was sent to every other female -appearing avatar in hopes of one bite.  It is nothing personal for me as an individual, but a casting of a wide net.

In a region with only a few avatars,  that exact same IM is for me.  

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12 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Why?  In a crowded club I see a random IM as a fishing expedition. I figure the same exact IM was sent to every other female -appearing avatar in hopes of one bite.  It is nothing personal for me as an individual, but a casting of a wide net.

This is my belief too. Throw out a bunch of IM's, start a conversation, pick up another one, when that dries up back to the first one.

This relates to the other thread about how people abruptly stop conversations and pick them back up a extended period of time later.

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I respond to random IMs if there is the intent on asking or commenting on something relevant.  The random "Hi", "How are you?", "Where are you from?",  "Want to have sex?", got so irritating I made a tag that said:  "Hi, fine, USA, NO!"

 

If people compliment my ava or my outfit, or just ask about things that are  normal, I have no problem talking to people.

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At large clubs like Exhale, people are either AFK or get hit on so much that a simple "hi" translates to "wanna do the slex?" (ladies know)... I would always start a convo with something witty and funny or even dumb as hell, preferably something I read from their profile and that usually gets a response. Thats actually how Ive made friends in here xD. 

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Like Doris, the environment has very little to do with whether or not I respond to an IM.  What matters most is what they say.  If they comment on my avatar, my clothing and/or accessories, or on something in my profile, then I will almost always respond.  Granted, those type of IMs do typically happen in less crowded areas, but it still is the IM itself and not the location that has anything to do with whether or not I ignore it.

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6 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

In another post, the subject came up regarding why some people might not respond to an IM from an account they think is an alt. I get the reasons given even though I am not sure I would respond the same way to the situation. On thinking about this however, something else occurs to me. I have noticed that for me at least, the random IMs I send out seem to be more likely to get a response if I am in a sim with very few other people. If I go to a club with a huge crowd, I will get very few responses. Go to some sim where there are maybe 5 or 6 others, and suddenly the odds of getting a response go way up. One thought I have is that in the crowd, local chat is often active and people focus on that, where in the empty places often there is nothing going on in local. I am wondering if others have experienced this and what people think about it.

 

I am definitely more likely to respond to others in local chat than in IM. Because you can bet that 99% of the people who IM me are (a) male, (b) horny and (c) want to say things that would get him kicked out of the place if he said them in local. The only exception is well-thought-out compliments on either my costume or my profile, where they don't involve words like "hot" or "sexy". I'm not interested in hookups with anyone, much less with straight male strangers who likely will not approve of my stance on gender or sexuality. 

I find that when I'm out clubbing, the optimum size of crowd for a good local chat is around 10-12 people.  Too few and, as you said, there's not much chat going on. Too many and the chat is too full of pointless gestures that it becomes impossible to follow. And if I'm at a club, I'm there to listen to the music, not to hook up with anyone. But I do enjoy an interesting, light-hearted conversation with a group in local chat.

So if I'm at a club and a guy IMs me, I'm immediately suspicious of his intentions. If they are genuinely platonic, he should be able to talk to me openly in local chat. If the same guy says the same thing to me in local, I will almost 100% respond.

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To me it doesn't matter where my avatar is parked, when i roleplay as Nick i reply to everyone even online beggars asking for lindens.

If i am logged in with my Main i reply only to customers, so if you aren't one then regardless of your avatar gender or friendship level with my other avatars, it's probably easier to get a reply from god.

Sometimes i might log in with one of my female avatars and i will reply to anyone but for a very short amount of time and usually keep it G-rated (*playing the usual hard to get busy girl act that rarely logs in to Second Life etc due to having a happy husband and kids blah blah blah).

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29 minutes ago, Chris Nova said:

Who else remembers when "ASL?" was a convo starter? 😂

I'll still occasionally get something like that.

Them...Hi, I'm Random Guy, I'm 35 and from Some Country.  What about you?

Me...I'm Rowan, it's impolite to ask a woman her age and I'm from Second Life.

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These days I rarely will respond to an IM when I don't know the person. I'm very shy and anxious with people. When I first joined SL back in 2009, I would respond to most IMs. I had no issue giving people a chance. These days I rarely respond to IMs from people I don't know. Past experiences have taught me to remain in my small circle of friends since my anxiety has worsened here when it comes to strangers.

If the person messaging me is in need of help with something, I will always more than likely respond. It depends on the type of help they are needing of course. Other than that, I stick to the people I know.

 

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I live on adult land, with 2 sex clubs in the neighbouring sim. I get a lot of random IMs. I do a lot of ignoring and a fair bit of blocking too. I have often wondered if other people who live on adult land have this same problem with sex pests or if it is just my particular location. Even my male alt receives sexual advances when I have him standing in my skybox.

I don't ignore other random IMs when I am out and about, but the ones that just say "hi" do annoy me a bit.

 

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5 hours ago, Chris Nova said:

Who else remembers when "ASL?" was a convo starter? 😂

Me..

asking age, sex and location.

my first few days in SL i ask these, and everyone freak out🤪n

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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5 hours ago, Doris Johnsky said:

I respond to random IMs if there is the intent on asking or commenting on something relevant.  The random "Hi", "How are you?", "Where are you from?",  "Want to have sex?", got so irritating I made a tag that said:  "Hi, fine, USA, NO!"

 

If people compliment my ava or my outfit, or just ask about things that are  normal, I have no problem talking to people.

Hi , hello, where you come from = straight forward

 

compliment your ava, or cloth its drama, since people can inspect your ava without need tobask you

 

imo

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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12 hours ago, Ayeleeon said:

In another post, the subject came up regarding why some people might not respond to an IM from an account they think is an alt. I get the reasons given even though I am not sure I would respond the same way to the situation. On thinking about this however, something else occurs to me. I have noticed that for me at least, the random IMs I send out seem to be more likely to get a response if I am in a sim with very few other people. If I go to a club with a huge crowd, I will get very few responses. Go to some sim where there are maybe 5 or 6 others, and suddenly the odds of getting a response go way up. One thought I have is that in the crowd, local chat is often active and people focus on that, where in the empty places often there is nothing going on in local. I am wondering if others have experienced this and what people think about it.

 

bwcause you are not important 😁 to them. I f you aee well known Dj or sugardaddy, every girls will respon you

imo

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
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