Is your late 30s and 40s too late to get married?

[Gopi Passiflora]

I'm getting to my late 30s and I'm unmarried. On one hand, I enjoy being single and haven't found the right person yet, but on the other hand, I do want to get married eventually.

[Stephanie Misfit]

Never too late to get married.

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm getting to my late 30s and I'm unmarried. On one hand, I enjoy being single and haven't found the right person yet, but on the other hand, I do want to get married eventually.

 

I was in my 30s the first (and so far, only) time I married someone. Well, I did marry him twice but we only divorced once. We had eloped so his parents couldn't say anything when we had a second go round and invited both our parents.

So, nope, you are never too old to get married.

Edited December 1, 2021 by Silent Mistwalker

[Nalates Urriah]

There are people getting married in their 70's and 90's. Age is only a serious factor for those that want to have children. Get medical advice on when a woman is considered a late mature or senior maternity case.

However, the change from single life to married life is major. The longer one has been single the more committed they need to be to the relationship. Late 30's means you have had 20+/- years on your own. That is a lot of habits and conditioning. So the 'why' of getting married is going to be important. If the point is to have a handy sexual partner, forget the marriage part.

Remember. Divorce is EXPENSIVE... because people are willing to pay the price...

[sirhc DeSantis]

Never too late to respond to the OP

[Evah Baxton]

Just remember ... you'll be using amazon.com/mytv A LOT. Everything merges except your Amazon prime account. Is it really worth it? 😆

[Alwin Alcott]

Never to late, bút... for many a step more to do because habbits and single life is more difficult to change as age progresses.

Not putting myself to a standard, but i ended a few friendships past years because we seemed "compatible" .. till the living together experiment started... ( living a single life since 16 yrs) a lot my stuff was places somewhere else.. cups, plates, books, clothes, place in the pantry, ..... and so  on... "o but here it's a lot more logic"... no ! hands off...!

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I do want to get married eventually

My own feeling is that "getting married" isn't something you should have in your bucketlist, like "I want to go to Disneyland" or "Watch all of the Matrix movies."

Getting married (or just partnering, generally) is something you do because you've found a person who seems "right" to you for that, and the timing is good for you both. You may never find such a person, and that's fine too.

But "getting married" in the abstract, without any sense of who your potential partner is,. makes no sense to me. It's not a place or a thing, it's something you do with someone else to whom you want to be married.

It is likely to be a terrible mistake, marrying someone merely because you've decided that you want to be married.

 

 

PS. Oh, and it's never too late. I found my current partner when I was 37, and I'm still deliriously happy it's-none-of-your-business how many years later!

Edited December 1, 2021 by Scylla Rhiadra

[QwiQ]

.

Edited December 1, 2021 by QwiQ

[cunomar]

It's never too late but often too soon .

People are ever changing creatures so i reckon true love often goes sour not because they fall out of love but because the person they loved is no longer around .

Long before i ever heard of "the 7 year itch" I always thought marriage should be denied until a couple has actually lived together for about 6 years .

Marriage never fixed or changed anything for the better . I'm 21 years living with the best girl i could ever hope to meet and we are together because we want to be .

A bucket list marriage might be on the cards one day i suppose , just to give her that big day out she says she doesn't need , but i know somewhere deep inside is the child wishing to be Cinderella .

Her main worry in life is my happiness, and my main worry is hers - thats when you know you got it right .

[Phil Deakins]

I won't divulge my age, but I will say that I am older than the OP. I've been married, have 2 children, and I've been (happily) divorced for a very long time. What has been said about getting more and more set in your ways when single and getting older is very true, imo. Only now do I believe that I am ready to be married - and I may be mistaken. I've always had things I was doing so I was always into my own stuff in life. But now I'm stuck for things to do, and that may be the reason that I believe I could put enough of myself into a marriage/partnership for it to be happy.

The idea of being married is very attractive, but the reality of it can be very different. I was never one for marriage. I think I am now, but I may be wrong. The idea of being married should never be the reason for it. As the song says, "falling in love with love is falling for make-believe". It's true.

Having said all that, imo, it's never too late begin a marriage, and be happy in it.

Note:
Some people have a need to be with another person in life. My older brother is like that (he married again just a few years ago). Some are self-sufficient, and are better on their own. I'm like that. It's all down to a person's nature, and age doesn't come into it.

[bobsknief Orsini]

6 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm getting to my late 30s and I'm unmarried. On one hand, I enjoy being single and haven't found the right person yet, but on the other hand, I do want to get married eventually.

If you re-read your question are you kind of not asking if you should marry the "not right person" ?

[Nick0678]

Ask yourself this "Is your late 30s and 40s too late to have a relationship?".

If it isn't, then telling your government that you've taken an extra step and live with this person doesn't make any difference.

That is what marriage practically means, you just let society/government know that you folks like to be together.

[QwiQ]

1 hour ago, Nick0678 said:

Ask yourself this "Is your late 30s and 40s too late to have a relationship?".

If it isn't, then telling your government that you've taken an extra step and live with this person doesn't make any difference.

That is what marriage practically means, you just let society/government know that you folks like to be together.

"Let's get married
We can make each other happy or we can make each other blue
Yeah, it's just a piece of paper, but it it says, "I love you."
For the good times
For the days when we can do no wrong
For the bad times
For the moments when we think we can't go on
For the family
For the lives of the children that we've planned
Let's get married
C'mon darlin', please take my hand"

 

[Gopi Passiflora]

Thank you for all the input everyone. I appreciate it and have read everything. I guess I was being kinda impulsive when I think about marriage sometimes....

[Ceka Cianci]

It's never too late to get married.. But having kids, That's a different story.. You don't want to be too old when they start hitting those teen years..

Also ,you need a lot of energy before they hit those teen years as well.. I was in my 20's and there came that moment when I said to myself , being tired all the time is just part of your life now, so time to get used to it.. hehehe

So marriage, there is plenty of time to get it going..

Kids, There is line in time you really don't want to go passed.. hehehe

 

 

[Nick0678]

2 hours ago, QwiQ said:

"Let's get married
We can make each other happy or we can make each other blue
Yeah, it's just a piece of paper....

 

Cool song never heard of it before.

1 hour ago, Ceka Cianci said:

It's never too late to get married.. But having kids, That's a different story.. You don't want to be too old when they start hitting those teen years....

I don't know Ceka.. I am a sentimental man so i find it hard for me to have kids.

( i am more like the 'uncle' who visits their mom since daddy left her ..)

 

Edited December 1, 2021 by Nick0678

[Syo Emerald]

What exactly is tied to marriage, in your mind, that makes the late 30s or 40s "too late"? Because "too late" is usually tied to a consequence of a delayed point in time to do something. Examples: If I arrive at the train station at 10am, I'm too late to take the train, that was supposed to stop there at 9.45, because the train has already departed. If I wait till my 90s to make a world trip, it might be too late, because I'm not in the physical condition for such a journey anymore.

I don't see anything like that for a marriage in your late 30s/40s.

Do you want to get married? Then do it. Or stay unmarried. My parents have been together for over 30 years and never married. I personally would probably only marry for legal and tax reasons... if I was in the position to do so.

[Paul Hexem]

No.

That said, I'm anti-marriage overall. It's overrated and generally speaking it's a giant risk for men with little reward. There's no benefit to it at all.

At the end of the day, if you find someone you like, be good to 'em and it'll be fine. Anyone at any age can do that.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

generally speaking it's a giant risk for men with little reward

/me raises an eyebrow

[Paul Hexem]

5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

/me raises an eyebrow

In most places, the laws around it (especially if it leads to divorce) are antiquated and bad, usually for men. Sometimes women too, but that's less common.

Edited December 1, 2021 by Paul Hexem

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Paul Hexem said:

In most places, the laws around it (especially if it leads to divorce) are antiquated and bad, usually for men.

Okaaaay.

I'm in a good mood today, and want to keep it that way, so I'm not going to inquire further! 🙂

[Paul Hexem]

5 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Okaaaay.

I'm in a good mood today, and want to keep it that way, so I'm not going to inquire further! 🙂

Don't read into it so much, it's just me making a statement about the statistics out there.

The point it still two people can be happy together no matter how late in life they meet, and they don't need a piece of paper to prove it.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

Don't read into it so much, it's just me making a statement about the statistics out there.

The point it still two people can be happy together no matter how late in life they meet, and they don't need a piece of paper to prove it.

"So, honey, take me by the hand and we can sign some papers
Forget the invitations, floral arrangements and bread makers"

This song always makes me very happy.

 

[Nick0678]

  

11 minutes ago, Paul Hexem said:

In most places, the laws around it (especially if it leads to divorce) are antiquated and bad, usually for men.

Well i don't know.. one mans loss is another mans gain.

One of my RL ex's used to be married with a guy who did "invest" a lot in her so he paid to have her boοbs enlarged/aligned.. plus other stuff fixed that i did enjoy playing with after they broke up. So you could say he actually paid for my future entertainment/pleasure. 

Folks should be a bit more careful/detached when it comes to marriage and such things that's all i 'm gonna say..

(..and also, thank you Johnny!)