Is your late 30s and 40s too late to get married?

[Nick0678]

1 hour ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

..and no one is hurt.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

I am a widow and I got married very young. We made a commitment to each other and went into it for better or worse.  We both were escaping terrible family life as teenagers.. We were together 30 years. (Yeah I’m old) People today go into partnerships without that mindset.

It’s all about when you find the right partner that shares your values and will be with you for better or worse.  
 

Having  said all that. 7 years after his death I have no desire to share my house with anyone but my dogs… 

men out there my age are not looking for women my age. Unless you put lots of money into your looks to keep up, naturally aging is not a turn on for men. Lol

soooo that age bracket you stated is generally a good age to get partnered with someone. If that person is the one you love and they love you. 

 people have said, don’t do it just because you think it’s when women should be married, everyone’s story is their own and only you can write it. 
 

 

 

Edited December 2, 2021 by Tarina Sewell

[cunomar]

Tarina

Perhaps the most romantic thing i ever read was of an old lady asking her husband "how can you still be attracted to what i have become"

In reply he said "i only have to shut my eyes to hear the voice of that beautiful girl i married all those years ago"

More than that though i'm near 50 and i never had eyes for girls my age which is probably why i ended up with a girl nearly a decade older . My only regret she could have no more children , but hey i inherited hers .

At my age we do look at the younger ones , but its fantasy like wishing we ourselves were young again .

Then there's this one woman i chat to briefly a couple of times a week (RL) who is probably 10 years older than me that makes me wonder why i find her attractive .

It's the way she talks , her easy laugh , the way she carries herself ? I really don't know , but its there and its reciprocal . We are both old enough and wise enough to know the grass isn't always greener and we are both happy with our partners so nothing will ever come of it .

But there you go , perhaps you just haven't met him yet and perhaps you don't want to , but there is no cut off point to mutual attraction .

 

[Ceka Cianci]

23 hours ago, Nick0678 said:

It all depends on someones lifestyle and being an adult person in a Democracy means they are free to do whatever they like and of course it's nobody else's business what or how they like to live their life or change their body, what kind of sex they like or how they want to be treated.

Some people like to experience life as loners, others as Romeo and Juliet and others like it to be more intense (and that can exist within marriage as well).

Either way no laws are broken.

And some like to mix it up to keep things spicy.. hehehe

routine can get very.... routine.. 😴

[Nick0678]

18 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

And some like to mix it up to keep things spicy.. hehehe

routine can get very.... routine.. 😴

Of course it can, i can understand that, personally i just never had to deal with it because i always get bored way before having thoughts about marriage and such so i end my relationships to spend more time with myself.

(*and that of course leads to meeting somebody new.. )

 

[Zidaya Zenovka]

...why would it be? You make it sound like 30's and 40's is old. Given the average human life expectancy is around 76 years you'd still have a few decades left to enjoy a decent amount of time with a partner. Many people get married well into their 80's and even 90's. What matters is how the people getting married feel about each other. As long as both are of legal age and consent to it go for it. 

[Zidaya Zenovka]

22 hours ago, Tarina Sewell said:

I am a widow and I got married very young. We made a commitment to each other and went into it for better or worse.  We both were escaping terrible family life as teenagers.. We were together 30 years. (Yeah I’m old) People today go into partnerships without that mindset.

It’s all about when you find the right partner that shares your values and will be with you for better or worse.  
 

Having  said all that. 7 years after his death I have no desire to share my house with anyone but my dogs… 

men out there my age are not looking for women my age. Unless you put lots of money into your looks to keep up, naturally aging is not a turn on for men. Lol

soooo that age bracket you stated is generally a good age to get partnered with someone. If that person is the one you love and they love you. 

 people have said, don’t do it just because you think it’s when women should be married, everyone’s story is their own and only you can write it. 
 

 

 

Sorry but the whole 'staying together for better or worse' thing just leads to people staying with terrible partners. It's great when it works out for people. I'm glad you seem to have ended up happy with your relationship, and you have my most sincere condolences for your loss. That said nobody should be obligated to stay with someone just because they're in a relationship with them or married. My mom was married to an abusive husband. She was told (by his family who ignored the obvious physical and emotional abuse) that she needed to stay with him 'through good times and bad' because she'd  made those vows. She was emotionally manipulated by his relatives because they were old school Catholic, and thought that once you made that kind of commitment you stuck with it. 

Young people today know better. They understand that relationships aren't the big deal Hollywood movies make them out to be. There's always been a lot of pressure on young people to get into a relationship. Like it's somehow the pinnacle of the human experience. Get a job, get married, have kids, retire in Boca. It's the classic American sitcom/Hollywood romance cliche. Only it's bull*****. Because people feel this societal pressure to hook up and breed you end up with a high divorce rate and a lot of unhappy people. Instead what people should be allowed to do is do what they want, even if it includes never being in a relationship. 

That, and if people don't want kids that's OK! There's a ton of pressure for that nonsense, too. People are always-ALWAYS-asking me if I've settled down and had a kid. First off after a rather unsuccessful marriage (we weren't meant to be with one another) I've decided I'm happy being single, and second the LAST thing I ever want to deal with is all the nonsense that comes along with having kids. Sleep deprivation, smelly diapers, never getting a good nights sleep, and a boatload of money tossed into a bonfire. 

So, yeah-a lot more young people are realizing that either relationships aren't for them-which is totally OK-or that they're not obligated to stay in relationships they're not happy in. Which is also totally OK. 

[Ceka Cianci]

Life expectancy has gone up because of all the preservatives they  put in the food these days.. 

[Nick0678]

3 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Life expectancy has gone up because of all the preservatives they  put in the food these days..

Hope it doesn't go to 100.. Thinking of those who will get married at 20 and spend 80 years with the same person doing the same stuff for every single day of those 29200 days (or 700800 hours) of their marriage..

[Amanda Crisp]

The only criteria should be "when you're ready".

[Lindal Kidd]

It's never too late to get married.

It's never too early to get divorced.

[Katherine Heartsong]

4 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Life expectancy has gone up because of all the preservatives they  put in the food these days.. 

In the US it actually went down 1.5 years between 2019 and 2020. And more than that for the Black and Latino communities. COVID probably, but that's probably not the only reason.

First drop in that statistic since WW2. Somehow probably ties in to the 30lb average weight increase since the 1970s.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2021/202107.htm

Edited December 3, 2021 by Katherine Heartsong

[Ceka Cianci]

5 hours ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

In the US it actually went down 1.5 years between 2019 and 2020. And more than that for the Black and Latino communities. COVID probably, but that's probably not the only reason.

First drop in that statistic since WW2. Somehow probably ties in to the 30lb average weight increase since the 1970s.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2021/202107.htm

That's kind of why I was having a bit of fun with it. Because diet is a big leader to all kinds of health problems..

I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many people I know that  are either diabetic or border line..

Plus now add in all the newer silly stress people add to thier lives just from what the media is able to shove in thier faces constantly because it's all at their finger tips.

Stress is a big factor in many health problems. 

[Nick0678]

9 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

...  Because diet is a big leader to all kinds of health problems..

I don't have enough fingers and toes to count how many people I know that  are either diabetic or border line....

A good diet is the Alpha and Omega for good health but unfortunately most people won't care so obesity is a usual problem in 1st world countries.

 

9 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Stress is a big factor in many health problems. 

Well idk... our grandfathers at least here in Europe have lived two world wars and had to shoot each other, witness millions of deaths, go through famine,etc and managed to overcome their stress and after all that they also managed to get married and raise our parents... So when people tell me about their stressful life my advice is always ":Got stress? Buy a stress ball. " (or drink some warm milk, have some tea, have some good quality sex.. you know stuff like that)

 

Edited December 4, 2021 by Nick0678

[Ceka Cianci]

1 hour ago, Nick0678 said:

A good diet is the Alpha and Omega for good health but unfortunately most people won't care so obesity is a usual problem in 1st world countries.

 

Well idk... our grandfathers at least here in Europe have lived two world wars and had to shoot each other, witness millions of deaths, go through famine,etc and managed to overcome their stress and after all that they also managed to get married and raise our parents... So when people tell me about their stressful life my advice is always ":Got stress? Buy a stress ball. " (or drink some warm milk, have some tea, have some good quality sex.. you know stuff like that)

 

 

Many that come to the U.S. are shocked at the serving sizes here.. It's a nation of abundance.

Also about stress, It's why I called it silly stress.. People are pounded with way more information than back then and conspiracy theorist, with the help of the popularity of the intranets, are more main stream than ever..

That's why the news is pretty much useless now, because it's anything but news..

Smart phones keep getting smarter while people keep getting dumber..

Diet and stress are important factors to keep in check because  the right diet  will be life changing..

Stress can unleash all kinds of things, even repressed viruses.. 

The things people stress about nowadays is just silly.. Freaking out about asteroids and volcanoes and the left and the right and every little thing that gets trickled about each of those sides..

It was a hell of a lot quieter around 10 years ago.. hehehe

 

[Nick0678]

17 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

The things people stress about nowadays is just silly..

Well you know how it goes.. problems create stress, one of them is food. 

(In 1st world countries the problem is too much food, in 3rd world countries the problem is lack of food. )

 

Which reminds me it's time to have some tea + milk..

[PermaRuthed]

On 11/30/2021 at 10:50 PM, Gopi Passiflora said:

I'm getting to my late 30s and I'm unmarried. On one hand, I enjoy being single and haven't found the right person yet, but on the other hand, I do want to get married eventually.

If you get married at 40 that's okay. If you don't get married at 40 that's okay too.

Think of it this way... assuming you don't have kids, being unhitched and childless means you have an abundance of me-time. 24/7.

It's a blessing not too many people get to have.

[Amanda Crisp]

On 12/3/2021 at 2:23 PM, Lindal Kidd said:

It's never too early to get divorced.

I am a big believer in emotionally committed relationships - so don’t take what I am about to say as a put-down on staying with a person (or persons) because they are special to you and there are no “ties that bind” holding anyone hostage….….…..but….

”Why is divorce from a legalistic marriage (that has a “senior partner” and a “junior partner” so expensive?….

Because its worth it……”

(( If for example you live someplace where your Husband has to sign financial papers related to Real Property along with you because…he’s the husband, he’s in charge of you and very much aware of that…. Like…where I lived….))

Edited December 5, 2021 by Amanda Crisp

[Nick0678]

16 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

”Why is divorce from a legalistic marriage (that has a “senior partner” and a “junior partner” so expensive?….

Because its worth it……”

(( If for example you live someplace where your Husband has to sign financial papers related to Real Property along with you because…he’s the husband, he’s in charge of you and very much aware of that…. Like…where I lived….))

Actually they are expensive because most people won't sign a prenuptial agreement so the State has to step in to control the divorce procedure and govern the division of assets etc based completely on it's laws.

A prenuptial agreement would give them both an opportunity to understand what legal rights each acquire and give up after they get married and make everything much easier.

[Lindal Kidd]

4 hours ago, Amanda Crisp said:

don’t take what I am about to say as a put-down on staying with a person (or persons) because they are special to you

My previous post was intended as humor. In point of fact, I've been happily married for over 30 years now. It's my first, last, and only marriage.

[Nick0678]

1 hour ago, Lindal Kidd said:

My previous post was intended as humor. In point of fact, I've been happily married for over 30 years now. It's my first, last, and only marriage.

30 years!! WOW! I get bored during the first 30 days..

(i would say first week or even couple of days but that would sound fake, truth is my smallest relationship lasted 1 hour and 23 minutes..didn't even have sex.)

Wish you both to keep on being happy with each other.

Edited December 5, 2021 by Nick0678

[Amanda Crisp]

15 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said:

My previous post was intended as humor. In point of fact, I've been happily married for over 30 years now. It's my first, last, and only marriage.

That’s awesome!

I’ve managed to stay partnered to the same typist in SL for a little over 15 years; which is three times longer than Real Life worked out 🙂

Not having a “log out and cool off” button for RL hampered things…..

 

[Nick0678]

4 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

That’s awesome!

I’ve managed to stay partnered to the same typist in SL for a little over 15 years; which is three times longer than Real Life worked out 🙂

Not having a “log out and cool off” button for RL hampered things…..

For 15 years you 've been having cybersex with the SAME person? WOW!

i can't keep doing that more than 20-30 times with the same person even if they are begging me during our video chat..

[Amanda Crisp]

1 hour ago, Nick0678 said:

For 15 years you 've been having cybersex with the SAME person? WOW!

i can't keep doing that more than 20-30 times with the same person even if they are begging me during our video chat..

I like to think we have a little more going for us as a couple than *only* Pixeling 🙂

But yes, her brain is dead-sexy 🙂

But its the fact that I have someone who - after 15 years of sharing our most private thoughts - still chooses to be with me anyway….

….that’s what makes me all warm inside 🙂

Edited December 6, 2021 by Amanda Crisp

[Nick0678]

29 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

I like to think we have a little more going for us as a couple than *only* Pixeling 🙂

But yes, her brain is dead-sexy 🙂

But its the fact that I have someone who - after 15 years of sharing our most private thoughts - still chooses to be with me anyway….

….that’s what makes me all warm inside 🙂

Wait by pixeling you mean SL pixelsex? I was talking about Skype sex where you at least get to see the real person, don't tell me that in 15 years being together you didn't do that!

My only experience with such a long term relationship was when one of my SL ex's told me she's been with some dude in SL for 8 years until he died... but 15 years without ever touching the other persons hand or smell, kiss each other? WOW! It really is something unique..