How can a woman trust her man enough to bring him to a store for women (and vice versa)

[Solar Legion]

Just now, Silent Mistwalker said:

Doesn't get any handier than this.

 

🤭

Oh I wish! Being in an apartment, we do have to be careful what alterations/additions we make. Last major one was to replace the standard fluorescent tubes with LED equivalents - this meant cutting power and then rather literally cutting the ballast out of the fixture to wire the power directly.

[Silent Mistwalker]

15 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Oh I wish! Being in an apartment, we do have to be careful what alterations/additions we make. Last major one was to replace the standard fluorescent tubes with LED equivalents - this meant cutting power and then rather literally cutting the ballast out of the fixture to wire the power directly.

You need something like this then.

 

I could never justify that kind of an expense for a place I didn't own. Whoever owns the building is the one responsible for those kinds of repairs/upgrades. Last apartment I lived in (about 8 years) didn't even have overhead lights except in the kitchen, dining area and hallway so we couldn't even install ceiling fans. We lived on the 2nd floor, and of course heat rises so winters were almost as miserable as summers. 

I'll live in a tent (again) before I ever live in another apartment complex. 

[LilithServil]

On 1/20/2022 at 8:15 AM, Bree Giffen said:

I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe you even do it. A girl avatar bringing a boy avatar to a skin store, or a sexy clothing store, or even a shopping event. With how easy it is to be unfaithful and all the things we know about how men behave in SL it seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Is it to show how much trust they have? Is it a kind of torture? Is it to find someone for a threesome? I've only been to men's stores a few times with my alt and haven't seen something like this. I'd like to know what you think.

This is such a bizarre scenario to me, lmao.

Like, granted, I brought my actual long distance/online partners to SL rather than meeting them on it originally, but... If this is something that happens often to you, maybe it has to do with the particular company you keep??? I love going out shopping, especially with my boyfriend (who's on most often between him and my gf) and honestly I avoid going shopping in-world without him there to talk to. Bonus if he finds something he's interested in too, be it clothes/furniture/etc.

Not really sure how shopping goes hand in hand with someone being unfaithful, but imagining this kind of question in a more RL sense has me cracking up. "A woman bringing a man to walmart, or khols, or a yard sale. With how easy it is to be unfaithful and all the things we know about how men behave it seems like a recipe for heartbreak."

 

[Solar Legion]

1 minute ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

You need something like this then.

 

I could never justify that kind of an expense for a place I didn't own. Whoever owns the building is the one responsible for those kinds of repairs/upgrades. Last apartment I lived in (about 8 years) didn't even have overhead lights except in the kitchen, dining area and hallway so we couldn't even install ceiling fans. We lived on the 2nd floor, and of course heat rises so winters were almost as miserable as summers. 

I'll live in a tent (again) before I ever live in another apartment complex. 

Thankfully not a complex - two story duplex (not side-by-side either, the two units each have one floor with a common entrance area inside plus a common basement with unit specific storage room and unit specific hookups for washer and dryer).

The original rental company that owned the place sold/off loaded it to a more local company that was spun up by one of their own employees sometime in the last year or two and with the toll the pandemic has had on some jobs here ... They don't have a proper Maintenance team (at least, not enough of one to hit up all their properties plus handling stuff tenants could do).

I don't much like it either but we really do not have many choices - myself especially. I purposely selected a PCP that is within walking distance in case I had no ride up, between two of the nearby stores I have my groceries also covered in walking distance.

[Ellith Blackwood]

On 1/20/2022 at 11:15 AM, Bree Giffen said:

I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe you even do it. A girl avatar bringing a boy avatar to a skin store, or a sexy clothing store, or even a shopping event. With how easy it is to be unfaithful and all the things we know about how men behave in SL it seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Is it to show how much trust they have? Is it a kind of torture? Is it to find someone for a threesome? I've only been to men's stores a few times with my alt and haven't seen something like this. I'd like to know what you think.

The part that worries me about... your entire statement.... is the fact you think it is strange that people take their partners/loved ones into public places because of the 'risk'.

>.>

Baby doll, if a man is going to be unfaithful then he doesn't need a sexy clothing store to do it. Nor is a man going to remain faithful just cause you kept his behind locked up at home. This is such an asinine and absurd way of thinking. Not every kid you take into a candy store is going to steal a piece, some are well-behaved and have actual manners XD

If you're spending your entire relationship worrying about your dude cheating, then you're missing out on the entire relationship. You aren't even in that relationship with him. You're hiding in a bush with binoculars being a creep. Worst part is that a lot of people drive partners away because of that lack of trust. It's a sign of immaturity and shows you need to spend more time on yourself before trying to get serious with someone else.

You can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you and vice-versa. Nor does someone want to deal with the constant allegations, fights, and disdainful behavior of the person they are trying to be with and care for. No one deserves that kind of treatment and shouldn't tolerate it. Especially not when there are plenty of people out there who can treat them right.

[Silent Mistwalker]

21 minutes ago, Ellith Blackwood said:

The part that worries me about... your entire statement.... is the fact you think it is strange that people take their partners/loved ones into public places because of the 'risk'.

>.>

Baby doll, if a man is going to be unfaithful then he doesn't need a sexy clothing store to do it. Nor is a man going to remain faithful just cause you kept his behind locked up at home. This is such an asinine and absurd way of thinking. Not every kid you take into a candy store is going to steal a piece, some are well-behaved and have actual manners XD

If you're spending your entire relationship worrying about your dude cheating, then you're missing out on the entire relationship. You aren't even in that relationship with him. You're hiding in a bush with binoculars being a creep. Worst part is that a lot of people drive partners away because of that lack of trust. It's a sign of immaturity and shows you need to spend more time on yourself before trying to get serious with someone else.

You can't have a relationship with someone who doesn't trust you and vice-versa. Nor does someone want to deal with the constant allegations, fights, and disdainful behavior of the person they are trying to be with and care for. No one deserves that kind of treatment and shouldn't tolerate it. Especially not when there are plenty of people out there who can treat them right.

The hard part is finding the ones that will treat you right. Most of them are already taken and aren't likely to ever be single again. 

There's plenty of fish in the sea but there's also a lot of 

 

[Lewis Luminos]

15 hours ago, LilithServil said:

Not really sure how shopping goes hand in hand with someone being unfaithful, but imagining this kind of question in a more RL sense has me cracking up. "A woman bringing a man to walmart, or khols, or a yard sale. With how easy it is to be unfaithful and all the things we know about how men behave it seems like a recipe for heartbreak."

 

Sadly there are people who do behave like this in RL too. 

Many years ago I worked with a woman who had an incredibly jealous and controlling husband. She was not allowed to go without him anywhere except work, and if she so much as glanced at another man he would be furious. She was not allowed any friends of her own, he monitored all of her telephone conversations, he did not allow her to have her own money and if she needed anything she had to ask him to buy it for her. If she was late leaving work for any reason she would be terrified of his reaction, and would almost certainly come to work the next day with new bruises on her face.  

I only worked there a year, but I heard from a former colleague a few years later that she had committed suicide.

[Caroline Takeda]

On 1/20/2022 at 5:37 PM, Amina Sopwith said:

It's probably to buy something.

Thats what I thought.
When did stores become the new pick up places ?

[Sid Nagy]

As I told before on these forums, I'm asexual.
I always considered that as a handicap in RL.
Now I'm wading trough this thread, I'm no longer totally sure about that.

Edited January 22, 2022 by Sid Nagy

[Amina Sopwith]

1 hour ago, Lewis Luminos said:

Sadly there are people who do behave like this in RL too. 

Many years ago I worked with a woman who had an incredibly jealous and controlling husband. She was not allowed to go without him anywhere except work, and if she so much as glanced at another man he would be furious. She was not allowed any friends of her own, he monitored all of her telephone conversations, he did not allow her to have her own money and if she needed anything she had to ask him to buy it for her. If she was late leaving work for any reason she would be terrified of his reaction, and would almost certainly come to work the next day with new bruises on her face.  

I only worked there a year, but I heard from a former colleague a few years later that she had committed suicide.

That's absolutely tragic. I'm very sorry to hear it. Shows just how hard it is to leave abusive and controlling relationships, that she thought this was the only escape route.

And it wouldn't surprise me at all if he was playing away himself. It's a very common deflection and projection tactic in that scenario.

[LilNosferatu]

29 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

As I told before on these forums, I'm asexual.
I always considered that as a handicap in RL.
Now I'm wading trough this thread, I'm no longer totally sure about that.

I've always thought of my asexuality as a superpower, it lets me see through all kinds of BS.

[Ren Toxx]

3 hours ago, Caroline Takeda said:

When did stores become the new pick up places ?

One wonders... but it does happen. About a year ago, at an event, a guy faraway IMd me to ask if I needed help choosing stuff. Out of politeness I stifled my Aspie’s initial response (along the lines of “why on the seven hells of Earth would I need external help to know what stuff *I* like?”) and just didn’t answer; but the guy persisted a bit later when I approached a stall, telling me what colour of a certain item he liked for me.

I do imagine they fish for people who actually lack the capacity to decide what they prefer, and the segue would be something like “that shirt would look good on you... and *I* would look good on you, too”. The fact that I can’t fathom that mentality is irrelevant—they want the easy type, and I guess that tactic is as good as any to find them: throw the hook, let those with a brain ignore you, and get the rest.

Edited January 22, 2022 by Ren Toxx

[Rat Luv]

On 1/20/2022 at 4:15 PM, Bree Giffen said:

I'm sure you've seen it. Maybe you even do it. A girl avatar bringing a boy avatar to a skin store, or a sexy clothing store, or even a shopping event. With how easy it is to be unfaithful and all the things we know about how men behave in SL it seems like a recipe for heartbreak. Is it to show how much trust they have? Is it a kind of torture? Is it to find someone for a threesome? I've only been to men's stores a few times with my alt and haven't seen something like this. I'd like to know what you think.

Be careful if you bring your boyfriend to a freebie mall...he might run away with a vampire clan 🧛‍♂️

[Syo Emerald]

To the guy that currently dates Bree or dates her in the future: I hope you are great at making and hiding alts, because if you don't you won't be allowed to do anything or be anywhere in peace anymore.

[Persephone Emerald]

On 1/21/2022 at 6:58 AM, Silent Mistwalker said:

 

It is human nature to procreate wherever and whenever possible. While many species do mate for life, there is no monogamy and there are just as many species that do not mate for life. Humans fall somewhere in between.

I hate to break it to you, but SL sex has nothing to do with procreation.

[Persephone Emerald]

5 hours ago, Ren Toxx said:

One wonders... but it does happen. About a year ago, at an event, a guy faraway IMd me to ask if I needed help choosing stuff. Out of politeness I stifled my Aspie’s initial response (along the lines of “why on the seven hells of Earth would I need external help to know what stuff *I* like?”) and just didn’t answer; but the guy persisted a bit later when I approached a stall, telling me what colour of a certain item he liked for me.

I do imagine they fish for people who actually lack the capacity to decide what they prefer, and the segue would be something like “that shirt would look good on you... and *I* would look good on you, too”. The fact that I can’t fathom that mentality is irrelevant—they want the easy type, and I guess that tactic is as good as any to find them: throw the hook, let those with a brain ignore you, and get the rest.

I wonder if that was an SL "Dom" searching for a new submissive?

[Silent Mistwalker]

16 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

I hate to break it to you, but SL sex has nothing to do with procreation.

Where did I say it did?

[Caroline Takeda]

14 hours ago, Syo Emerald said:

To the guy that currently dates Bree or dates her in the future: I hope you are great at making and hiding alts, because if you don't you won't be allowed to do anything or be anywhere in peace anymore.

I can teach him. Free of charge.

[Paul Hexem]

On 1/22/2022 at 8:57 AM, Ren Toxx said:

One wonders... but it does happen. About a year ago, at an event, a guy faraway IMd me to ask if I needed help choosing stuff. Out of politeness I stifled my Aspie’s initial response (along the lines of “why on the seven hells of Earth would I need external help to know what stuff *I* like?”) and just didn’t answer; but the guy persisted a bit later when I approached a stall, telling me what colour of a certain item he liked for me.

I do imagine they fish for people who actually lack the capacity to decide what they prefer, and the segue would be something like “that shirt would look good on you... and *I* would look good on you, too”. The fact that I can’t fathom that mentality is irrelevant—they want the easy type, and I guess that tactic is as good as any to find them: throw the hook, let those with a brain ignore you, and get the rest.

I dunno. It makes some sense. Talking clothes gives you a topic of conversation, vs trying to make small talk.

Discussing which color an outfit looks good in is better than just asking your favorite color. 

[Gwin LeShelle]

So I finally made time to answer this thread. And I need to thank you. Because me and husband had a lot of fun with it over the last few days. When we went grocery shopping we made a lot of jokes about hot peppers and other food related jokes that I can't type here because definitely not PG x3 and oh what did we have fun in the shoe store and home department store x3 he also some rare sometimes joins me in SL and I am sure we will have a lot of fun, fondly remembering this thread.

You remind me of the elder ladies that are divorced and keep telling all the younger girls how "all men are evil" ...and mention how useless men are at any given chance XD 

Spoiler...it's not cute to say generalizing things like that like you wouldn't like to hear a "well all women are like this or that" I'm sure men don't like it either.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Gwin LeShelle

[Kalegthepsionicist]

@Bree Giffeno

you cant trust anybody in SL, unless they are your real friend.

you doing roleplay, and hope your roleplay friend be faithfull in illusion world. not make any sense.

my 2 cents

Edited January 24, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Silent Mistwalker]

8 hours ago, Gwin LeShelle said:

 

You remind me of the elder ladies that are divorced and keep telling all the younger girls how "all men are evil" ...and mention how useless men are at any given chance XD 

Spoiler...it's not cute to say generalizing things like that like you wouldn't like to hear a "well all women are like this or that" I'm sure men don't like it either.

It's not cute to stereotype older people either. 

[Psyche Starling]

It's SL, where everyone is hot. You just have to have a good enough connection that you won't chuck each other aside just because someone else's pixels are hot. If a person is really that shallow, they'll go through a hundred relationships a day. 

Besides. A lot of the most popular stores are so laggy that he's probably just checking out the sexy orange clouds.

[Gwin LeShelle]

1 hour ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

It's not cute to stereotype older people either. 

Well I was talking of THE elder ladies ...certain elder ladies at the place I work so it's no stereotype it's fact.

[Silent Mistwalker]

2 minutes ago, Gwin LeShelle said:

Well I was talking of THE elder ladies ...certain elder ladies at the place I work so it's no stereotype it's fact.

It may be true for those very few women, but it is not true of all of us. I'm over 60, divorced and I have never said anything like that to anyone. Nor would I. Most older divorced women do not hate all men. 

It may not be a stereotype in your country, but it definitely is in mine.