Is love real in a virtual game?

[EnrietaEnacheRomania]

Well, I asked about OpenGL driver but again, I'm already fixing it by myself bc it seems to be something nobody is sure how to fix LOL. So, I was thinking about something else.. This avi isn't old, but I've been in SL for years and I've seen everything or almost everything. What I haven't seen, I have heard. It seems to me that ppl can make friends, a lot of us have each other's numbers, have each other's FB and some meet in RL too. Making friends is ok. Now, do you really trust someone to be your partner? We all say it's just a game but I've known ppl who left with a broken heart. Most of the times bc 95% of ppl have alts and just... lie about everything. For some SL is just a place to find sex partners or more than a gf/bf, where you can be male or female, even a unicorn if you want. Literally. I don't mean to serioulsy discuss this at this point in my life bc we all had all kinds of experiences, but I want to ask a happier question: how many happy ending have you heard about in SL and actually know about? You know, ppl who quit and go RL or log on together to play together and visit friends or whatever but you know they're together RL. 

[Coffee Pancake]

The avatars are virtual, the people and emotions are very real. Anyone who claims a total separation is a fibber.

There are LOTS of happy endings from SL. It's very possible to find friends, lovers and soulmates and for that to all be real and carry over off screen.

Personally I know many people who have crossed the SL-RL bridge, myself included. Everything from lifetime friends, personal meetups, RL marriages, international immigration and families.

SL has the potential to be life changing, which is why there is such visceral pushback when it's off handedly described as just a game.

[Fritigern Gothly]

Met my partner in SL in 2009. got married in RL in 2011, still married and both still on SL.

Does this answer your question?  

Edited August 26, 2021 by Fritigern Gothly

[Solar Legion]

And now the obligatory: What does this have to do with Second Life Tech?

[Rowan Amore]

 

[Chroma Starlight]

On 8/26/2021 at 1:02 PM, EnrietaEnacheRomania said:

Literally. I don't mean to serioulsy discuss this at this point in my life bc we all had all kinds of experiences, but I want to ask a happier question: how many happy ending have you heard about in SL and actually know about? You know, ppl who quit and go RL or log on together to play together and visit friends or whatever but you know they're together RL. 

I've heard of people who met years ago on Second Life. I'm sure there are a few who are still together out there. 

All reality is illusionary, and we're all part of a universal system whether we're at the computer or not. Why should it matter so where the love is or how it is communicated? Is it any less real when you remove the material aspect and do it virtually? I don't think so! Love is like any other energy, it can travel great distances undiminished.

Edited August 30, 2021 by Chroma Starlight

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

I do know a few in world that have met in RL and even got married. Unlike one of those dating sites --- a couple could get to know each other real well via their avis and voice chat before meeting up for real, especially if they're not that far from each other.

[Ajay McDowwll]

I met my husband inworld; we partnered in 2007, and got married RL in 2009.  Still at it in both worlds

I also have friends I've met through SL who I've also met RL... and some SL friends I've never met in the physical world, but who are still good friends nonetheless.  Whether you view Second Life as a game or not -- I tend to view it as a 3D chat environment on steroids with built-in build tools -- there are real people behind the avatars, and when you mix people, you're going to be mixing emotions on some level.

Edited August 31, 2021 by Ajay McDowwll

[Dragon Mommy]

It's no different than meeting a partner online through another medium like an MMO or chat room. Emotions felt at a distance are very real. 

[kali Wylder]

I vote yes, not that I believe that the answer to your question is the sort of thing that can be voted on. Emotions are real and love is an emotion.  It's not necessarily permanent and there are no guarantees but that's true in real life as well.

It's an interesting question though.  I'm also interested in whether or not it's possible to truly know another individual in a virtual reality.  And moreover, can you love someone without truly knowing them?  I thought that I knew and loved a few people I've met in SL and later learned that I didn't know them as well as I thought I did.  But I still felt love. The fact that I later learned things about them that I didn't know at the time doesn't change the way I felt.

[Orfeu Miles]

Have you ever tried explaining to a Non Sl'er how intense the feelings can get inworld? The response is usually, incredulity, or boredom, or they start backing away looking for the mental asylum's number on their phone.

A friend of mine recently described Sl as thoughts and feelings free from the many RL distractions, which seemed quite apt to me.

Love is real here, so is heartbreak, and joy, and depression, and  also hope. Sometimes in the same day lol.

As long as it is real humans who are playing Sl, all the emotions can come into play.

[mtcheton]

Love and heartbreak are on two ends of the same spectrum and I’ve realised in SL to know one, you must know the other. I’ve just ended a very intense and deep relationship because it scared me how much time I wanted to be with that person but I knew they couldn’t reciprocate. I took myself out of SL for a while so that I could reset. Of course I told my partner before doing that, but I know my ex is feeling very sad too. I hope things get better and brighter for both of us. Love is real in a virtual game.

[Walelu Summerwind]

14 yrs ago when I was just a new "child" on SL.. my love life was intense.. and then again for a few yrs with the same partner. It was real love and real heart break. Im not a child on SL anymore and I don't seek love relationships.. but it is what it is. My advise is to feel it all, experience it all.. until you don't ..

[Kalegthepsionicist]

i think its real if you both single in real

, but I found many married people here do romance with others , they are playing games ,

and the funny is they keep saying they dont see SL as a game.

(contradict with what they do)

Edited March 29, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Solar Legion]

Someone hasn't a clue concerning there being more than just monogamous relationships in the world ....

[Lindal Kidd]

I personally know of four or five "happy endings"...situations where people met in SL, fell in love, met in RL, married, and remained happily married. But I think the OP's estimate of 95% less-than-happy endings is probably about right.

[Maryanne Solo]

The terribly sad stories come from Alts who don't realise they have fallen in love with another one of their many many many alts.
The forums are a prime example of this. 

[Persephone Emerald]

2 hours ago, Kalegthepsionicist said:

i think its real if you both single in real

, but I found many married people here do romance with others , they are playing games ,

and the funny is they keep saying they dont see SL as a game.

(contradict with what they do)

Married people can have real feelings for people who they are not married to. This is often where their heartbreak comes from, in SL or RL. They think they're just going to talk with someone and be friends with them, but maybe as time goes on they start feeling love for this person too. Then they have to decide if staying in contact with this new person is worth risking their marriage. A few people have consensual open relationships that allow them to love more than one partner, but for most people this type of polyamorous relationship is too difficult to manage.  They have to choose which person to stay with. Their feelings for both their spouse and this new person are still real. Their feelings aren't any less real because they met this new person online. It is easier for them to disconnect from the new person though. Some people do come into SL just to play around without any real feelings, but others feel deeply and feel heartbroken for real.

[MalibuBratz]

I think online love can exist, just not for me. I've heard of online happy endings but for me personally I just need to actually be with the person irl cause i'm a very visual person, and I also dont really like the idea of being in a long distance relationship when I could be in a "normal" relationship instead. I also watched every episodes of Catfish the tv show so i'm slightly paranoid lmao. I however do not judge anyone for online dating and if it works for you then all the best to you 😃

Edited March 29, 2022 by MalibuBratz

[Kalegthepsionicist]

22 minutes ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Married people can have real feelings for people who they are not married to. This is often where their heartbreak comes from, in SL or RL. They think they're just going to talk with someone and be friends with them, but maybe as time goes on they start feeling love for this person too. Then they have to decide if staying in contact with this new person is worth risking their marriage. A few people have consensual open relationships that allow them to love more than one partner, but for most people this type of polyamorous relationship is too difficult to manage.  They have to choose which person to stay with. Their feelings for both their spouse and this new person are still real. Their feelings aren't any less real because they met this new person online. It is easier for them to disconnect from the new person though. Some people do come into SL just to play around without any real feelings, but others feel deeply and feel heartbroken for real.

nah, they know that could happen hence they hide identity and be prepare to leave.  ( escape route)they are adult know what could be happen next.

Edited March 29, 2022 by Kalegthepsionicist

[Ina Fairport]

Feelings and emotions in SL are exactly the same as in RL although it happens that SL residents are "roleplaying" those feelings.
I have been seriously in love in SL and those feelings were real ! That was in my early SL years. 2007 and later

There were also times that I was partnered but there was no love involved. We just liked each other, did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun

I wrote it before on this forum, I am rarely inworld. I miss the old days and this forum keeps my memories alive 🙄 I often wonder if SL has changed or is it just me ?

I used to know a couple that was married in RL. They met in SL, got partnered and after two years they married in RL.  When they were online he was a DJ and she was the host.
 

[Robberinthemuseum]

28 minutes ago, Ian Mercury said:

Feelings and emotions in SL are exactly the same as in RL although it happens that SL residents are "roleplaying" those feelings.
I have been seriously in love in SL and those feelings were real ! That was in my early SL years. 2007 and later

There were also times that I was partnered but there was no love involved. We just liked each other, did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun

I wrote it before on this forum, I am rarely inworld. I miss the old days and this forum keeps my memories alive 🙄 I often wonder if SL has changed or is it just me ?

I used to know a couple that was married in RL. They met in SL, got partnered and after two years they married in RL.  When they were online he was a DJ and she was the host.
 

That sounds like @Ajay McDowwll

[Ajay McDowwll]

4 hours ago, Robberinthemuseum said:

That sounds like @Ajay McDowwll

Yep! Except we met my first day inworld WAY back in the day on Help Island Public.  I was a serial profile-reader even then, and I saw he had a picture in his profile.  I asked him how he did that; he helped me out.  We became friends, and over the months we became more.  We'll have been married RL for 13 years come August

Edited March 29, 2022 by Ajay McDowwll
I should not be permitted to attempt punctuation before at least two cups of coffee.

[Solar Legion]

5 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said:

Married people can have real feelings for people who they are not married to. This is often where their heartbreak comes from, in SL or RL. They think they're just going to talk with someone and be friends with them, but maybe as time goes on they start feeling love for this person too. Then they have to decide if staying in contact with this new person is worth risking their marriage. A few people have consensual open relationships that allow them to love more than one partner, but for most people this type of polyamorous relationship is too difficult to manage.  They have to choose which person to stay with. Their feelings for both their spouse and this new person are still real. Their feelings aren't any less real because they met this new person online. It is easier for them to disconnect from the new person though. Some people do come into SL just to play around without any real feelings, but others feel deeply and feel heartbroken for real.

Yeah, polyamory is not for everyone - it's quite a bit of work!

[cunomar]

All things are possible but i'd say what is often mistaken as love in SL is addiction to another player , which can be an emotional roller coaster of equal strength of feeling .