What are some of your pet peeves?

[Marigold Devin]

1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:

mmhmm. I was very briefly a waitress when I was in my teens. I'd been working for about two weeks when some old idjit really grabbed my as* while I was serving near him. Totally reflexively, without thinking, I hauled off and slapped him. Hard.  I don't remember the details. He must have complained. I remember explaining "I was grabbed" to the manager. I remember "fired." It makes me laugh today and very proud of my teenaged self.

I'm proud of teenage you too.  I could fill this whole thread with real life pet peeves about vile inappropriate sexual encounters. But I won't! But I always have ANGRY MARI waiting in the wings ready to strike if anyone I haven't invited dares to get within my three foot of personal space (well, fortunately we have this two metre distance rule now, but still!).  

 

[Rolig Loon]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

It's really odd to me that LL has never, apparently, been able to find a solution to this problem [Social Island mentoring and relief from griefers].

Actually, there has been a "solution" in place for a while.  The White Tiger Guides group has access to Social Islands 1 - 5 as approved mentors. Other "older" SL residents do not have open access to those instances, although they do have public access to Social Islands 6 - 10. I don't know what authority those White Tigers may have to deal with griefers who enter on newbie accounts (I suspect not much), but their service as mentors is a positive move.  I'm sure that @Lindal Kidd can offer more details, since she's a member of that group.

[Marigold Devin]

Just now, Rolig Loon said:

Actually, there has been a "solution" in place for a while.  The White Tiger Guides group has access to Social Islands 1 - 5 as approved mentors. Other "older" SL residents do not have open access to those instances, although they do have public access to Social Islands 6 - 10. I don't know what authority those White Tigers may have to deal with griefers who enter on newbie accounts (I suspect not much), but their service as mentors is a positive move.  I'm sure that @Lindal Kidd can offer more details, since she's a member of that group.

Well, darn, I happened to be on Social Island 10 today, missed the White Tiger Guides. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Rolig Loon said:

Actually, there has been a "solution" in place for a while.  The White Tiger Guides group has access to Social Islands 1 - 5 as approved mentors. Other "older" SL residents do not have open access to those instances, although they do have public access to Social Islands 6 - 10. I don't know what authority those White Tigers may have to deal with griefers who enter on newbie accounts (I suspect not much), but their service as mentors is a positive move.  I'm sure that @Lindal Kidd can offer more details, since she's a member of that group.

Why only half of the islands, Rolig? Do you know? And I assume that new signups are sent pretty randomly to one of the 10?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

I'm proud of teenage you too.

@Seicher Rae : this. It was hard to choose a "reaction" to your post -- my first impulse was "sad," but this determined me to choose "love" (or "like," or whatever it is) instead.

[Marigold Devin]

It's really lovely that people are willing to give up their time and share their experiences to help mentor newbies - I did a bit of pay it forward in my earlier years, before it all started to feel too complicated to me. 

[Rolig Loon]

Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Why only half of the islands, Rolig? Do you know? And I assume that new signups are sent pretty randomly to one of the 10?

I have no idea, but I suspect that it's a matter of coming up with a consistent number of trusted mentors.  The Lab may also be running it as an A/B test to see how well it works before launching it uniformly on all Social Islands.  Again @Lindal Kidd is more familiar than I am, so she may know.

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

@Seicher Rae : this. It was hard to choose a "reaction" to your post -- my first impulse was "sad," but this determined me to choose "love" (or "like," or whatever it is) instead.

I add it as part of my fantasy resume (the one that is more valid than the one the HR departments get): World's Worst Waitress. 

Except not really. Yup, reflexes or not, it was the appropriate reaction. I've got a big old grin on my face thinking about it.

[Rufferta]

One of my current pet peeves (I have a lot of them, like a crazy cat lady has cats) is going to an event and finding it full of avatars with complexities beyond 100,000. I have my preferences set relatively low (old computer) so if someone has a complexity over 60,000 they are just jelly people. Why get all dressed up if not everyone can see you and (perhaps) increase lag for everyone)?.  It would seem that common courtesy would dictate that people wear low impact avatars when going out ....("Naah, who would see my beautifulness.")

Ran into an avatar yesterday at one of my favorite regions - I don't know if it was an SL glitch, or whether she had gone beyond jelly person into invisibility. Anyway, I tried to use a vendor and instead of the expected response got "Pay ____________". I knew that wasn't the creator's name, but I couldn't see anyone, so I used 'show transparent' and set my preferences to what I call "computer crash" until I could see her.  I IM'd her that I couldn't see her because of her complexity (103,000+) and perhaps she shouldn't stand in front of the vendor. No response, for many minutes. Later I got a long tirade from her, calling me the 'b' word and telling me I should mind my own business.  That made me feel not so bad that I had AR'd her, thinking that perhaps she had become invisible on purpose to get money from the vendor. She was right, but really I was trying to be helpful. Really.

[Janet Voxel]

2 hours ago, Rufferta said:

Ran into an avatar yesterday at one of my favorite regions - I don't know if it was an SL glitch, or whether she had gone beyond jelly person into invisibility. Anyway, I tried to use a vendor and instead of the expected response got "Pay ____________". I knew that wasn't the creator's name, but I couldn't see anyone, so I used 'show transparent' and set my preferences to what I call "computer crash" until I could see her.  I IM'd her that I couldn't see her because of her complexity (103,000+) and perhaps she shouldn't stand in front of the vendor. No response, for many minutes. Later I got a long tirade from her, calling me the 'b' word and telling me I should mind my own business.  That made me feel not so bad that I had AR'd her, thinking that perhaps she had become invisible on purpose to get money from the vendor. She was right, but really I was trying to be helpful. Really.

This is a scam people are running at crowded events. You happened to catch someone just as they were doing it. You did the right thing.

Edited April 15, 2020 by janetosilio

[Sammy Huntsman]

8 hours ago, Skell Dagger said:

People who are rude and sarcastic when others are trying to help them.

Or assume you have ulterior motives when you offer to help them. Look Karen, I don't want to bang your pixels just cause I offered to help you. I am just trying to do a good deed here.

[kali Wylder]

2 hours ago, janetosilio said:

This is a scam people are running at crowded events. You happened to catch someone just as they were doing it. You did the right thing.

What's the scam?  I am almost always invisible when I go to crowded events. It's the lowest lag outfit I can wear, just the whole body/head alpha only and nothing else.  Of course I don't stand in front of the vendors, that would mean bumping into all those people that can't see me, I just cam over them when I'm ready to buy something.

[Rolig Loon]

10 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

What's the scam? 

So, you're invisible and you stand in front of a vendor, wearing an attachment that is scripted to display a Pay dialog when you click on it.  Unsuspecting person clicks on you, thinking that she is clicking on the vendor, and pays you without realizing it.

[LittleMe Jewell]

11 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

2 hours ago, janetosilio said:

This is a scam people are running at crowded events. You happened to catch someone just as they were doing it. You did the right thing.

What's the scam?  I am almost always invisible when I go to crowded events. It's the lowest lag outfit I can wear, just the whole body/head alpha only and nothing else.  Of course I don't stand in front of the vendors, that would mean bumping into all those people that can't see me, I just cam over them when I'm ready to buy something.

I had heard that some people do intentionally stand directly in front of the vendors at events while being invisible, hoping that people will accidentally pay them.  

I use Firestorm and always derender anyone that isn't on my Friends list, so that pretty much eliminates me paying the wrong person at large events.  I did accidentally pay someone at a store once.  They walked right in front of the vendor right as I clicked to pay, and I clicked everything too quickly to notice until after paying and not getting the item.  Then I checked chat to ensure I had paid and that is when I saw the wrong name.  Luckily it was a dress on sale for only about L$100 or so.

[Seicher Rae]

20 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

I had heard that some people do intentionally stand directly in front of the vendors at events while being invisible, hoping that people will accidentally pay them.  

I use Firestorm and always derender anyone that isn't on my Friends list, so that pretty much eliminates me paying the wrong person at large events.  I did accidentally pay someone at a store once.  They walked right in front of the vendor right as I clicked to pay, and I clicked everything too quickly to notice until after paying and not getting the item.  Then I checked chat to ensure I had paid and that is when I saw the wrong name.  Luckily it was a dress on sale for only about L$100 or so.

If that had happened to me in SL, suddenly getting $L100 for no reason from someone I didn't know, I'd IM them and ask if they meant to do that. Assuming I noticed it of course. It makes me very sad that the person who received your $L100 didn't do that. 

Seicher Rae

Founding Member of Misanthropes Anonymous

[LittleMe Jewell]

26 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

If that had happened to me in SL, suddenly getting $L100 for no reason from someone I didn't know, I'd IM them and ask if they meant to do that. Assuming I noticed it of course. It makes me very sad that the person who received your $L100 didn't do that. 

Seicher Rae

Founding Member of Misanthropes Anonymous

After reading what Rolig wrote, I tested with an alt.  Without an attachment, when you click an avatar and click Pay, you get that dialog box that offers a few choices of how much to pay along with a spot for you to enter an amount (not to mention that right-clicking an avatar gives you many options like IM, Mute, Report, etc, so you don't easily get to the Pay option anyway) .  If I had seen that avatar pay dialog, I would have known there was a problem and not paid it.  Therefore, the person I paid must have been wearing an attachment specifically designed to give the normal vendor pay dialog.  Thus no surprise that they didn't offer to give the money back.

Edited April 15, 2020 by LittleMe Jewell

[Janet Voxel]

5 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

After reading what Rolig wrote, I tested with an alt.  Without an attachment, when you click an avatar and click Pay, you get that dialog box that offers a few choices of how much to pay along with a spot for you to enter an amount (not to mention that right-clicking an avatar gives you many options like IM, Mute, Report, etc, so you don't easily get to the Pay option anyway) .  If I had seen that avatar pay dialog, I would have known there was a problem and not paid it.  Therefore, the person I paid must have been wearing an attachment specifically designed to give the normal vendor pay dialog.  Thus no surprise that they didn't offer to give the money back.

I just got home, but that's what they're doing: wearing a prim that gives the vendor dialog.

[Cinos Field]

1 hour ago, janetosilio said:

I just got home, but that's what they're doing: wearing a prim that gives the vendor dialog.

Not possible. Worn prims can't use that function. (llSetPayPrice) They'd have to have rez rights.

Edited April 16, 2020 by Cinos Field

[kali Wylder]

2 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

If that had happened to me in SL, suddenly getting $L100 for no reason from someone I didn't know, I'd IM them and ask if they meant to do that. Assuming I noticed it of course. It makes me very sad that the person who received your $L100 didn't do that. 

Seicher Rae

Founding Member of Misanthropes Anonymous

Yeah, that is sad.  I've had people tip me by accident before and I always give it right back to them. Which then leads to a conversation as we confirm that "yeah, that was an "oops" or no, that tip was for you."  I've also tipped people by accident, it's easy to do if you are in a crowded place. And they've always given it back too.  But clubs are not as often frequented by thieves like that.  You don't last long in a club if you are known to be a thief.

[Rolig Loon]

1 hour ago, Cinos Field said:

Not possible. Worn prims can't use that function. (llSetPayPrice) They'd have to have rez rights.

hmmm... I'm pretty sure that I have done it, though not recently. The only restriction in a worn object, as noted in the LSL wiki, is

Money cannot be paid to an attachment; "Pay" will go directly to the wearer instead.

but that's exactly what you want it to do in this case.  I'll have to experiment.

EDIT:   Well, you may be right.  The problem is not the llSetPayPrice function but the click action, which won't allow CLICK_ACTION_PAY in an attachment.  I know I have beat this in the past, though, so I will keep poking at it.

Edited April 16, 2020 by Rolig Loon
hmmmm....

[AyelaNewLife]

20 hours ago, YokaiClock said:

"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did, so what was the point in asking for permission?

This applies to RL too, obviously. It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it drives me crazy. You're always free to ask--whether or not I'll answer is another story and dependent on the question itself, but you can always ask.

It's such a pointless and ironic question that has no real purpose or value without providing any additional context, and my response will depend on the nature of the question anyway. I'd much rather you just get to the point.

 

19 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

On the other hand, I find it annoying when a total stranger asks me a question out of the blue without taking the time to begin with a polite social segue, like "Excuse me .."

Starting with "May I ask a question?" is just another gentle way of apologizing for interrupting the person and assuring that you want nothing more than the answer to a question -- no long conversation, no request for a handout, no political diatribe, just a simple question. It's rude and pedantic to reply with a snippy "You just did."

I think this depends on delivery. Asking "May I ask a question?" and then waiting for a response before asking said question is the problem here, as that is just wasting everyone's time, and I fully appreciate the annoyance that generates. On the other hand, I've often opened with a "Can I ask you something?" and then proceeded to ask said question, for precisely the reasons Rolig outlined.

It doesn't matter too much if it's asking a question; but this is a larger pet peeve of mine when it's asking if I am free or busy, with the followup question a "would you like to do x?".

Very rarely is anyone doing literally nothing when sat at the keyboard, they are always doing something. Often that something isn't important at all; procrastinating on social media, idly chatting, reshuffling inventory around, etc. "Are you busy?" is not actually the question being asked here, you're actually being asked "are you willing to pause what you are doing right now in order to do the thing I'll suggest in a moment?". And as I cannot read minds, I cannot answer that.

I have to guess, and then I am committed to that answer. If I say I'm not busy and the suggested activity sucks (or more often is a blatant attempt at a lazy pickup), I've just lost my easy and polite way out. What else can I say? "Sorry dude, I'd rather stand on my platform shuffling boxes than go sit on a deck chair at some perfectly-flat empty A-rated beach with you." Suddenly I'm a five-letter-gendered-insult, all because homeboy over here left me no choice. Or I lie, in which case it's incredibly transparent and the above applies. Or I go along with it anyway for a bit before I can find another excuse and waste everyone's time. Alternative, I can say I am busy, which protects me from the above yet also means I could miss out on something I'd actually want to do. There are no good options here, because my hand was forced by this terrible line of questioning.

So if your intent is to ask someone to go somewhere or do something, hecking say that. Don't try to trap them into a certain answer through manipulation or ignorance. If you want to open with a cover like above, then do so but ask the real question immediately, and do not wait for a response. But just be honest and don't try to back people into a corner with your words.

[Maryanne Solo]

18 hours ago, Marigold Devin said:

It's really lovely that people are willing to give up their time and share their experiences to help mentor newbies - I did a bit of pay it forward in my earlier years, before it all started to feel too complicated to me. 

I just give deserving noobs lindens. You know if they're genuine or not after a darn good chat. I recall the amazement and sheer joy when someone gave me L's when I was new.
I will spend hours of time helping to teach new peeps about my fave mesh head or body which I did yesterday.
After about an hour of sorting huds, appliers etc for diff versions of heads and skins, we both laughed at how frustrating and agonising it had been.
We had a really good time doing it though

[Luna Bliss]

1 hour ago, AyelaNewLife said:

I have to guess, and then I am committed to that answer. If I say I'm not busy and the suggested activity sucks (or more often is a blatant attempt at a lazy pickup), I've just lost my easy and polite way out. What else can I say? "Sorry dude, I'd rather stand on my platform shuffling boxes than go sit on a deck chair at some perfectly-flat empty A-rated beach with you." Suddenly I'm a five-letter-gendered-insult, all because homeboy over here left me no choice. Or I lie, in which case it's incredibly transparent and the above applies. Or I go along with it anyway for a bit before I can find another excuse and waste everyone's time. Alternative, I can say I am busy, which protects me from the above yet also means I could miss out on something I'd actually want to do. There are no good options here, because my hand was forced by this terrible line of questioning.

So if your intent is to ask someone to go somewhere or do something, hecking say that. Don't try to trap them into a certain answer through manipulation or ignorance. If you want to open with a cover like above, then do so but ask the real question immediately, and do not wait for a response. But just be honest and don't try to back people into a corner with your words.

I would imagine my responses would or could be different in a pick-up situation vs say, responding to a customer.

There's no need to feel trapped, especially in a possible pick-up situation -- you can flirt instead. For example, when someone asks "are you busy" you can flirtatiously say "well, that depends", or "I might be busy". Just teasing a bit can be fun.

In any situation when a stranger approaches me, wanting something, and I'm very busy, I've been known to respond to the question of "are you busy" or "can I ask a question" with "what's up?". That's a good option and throws the ball back to them.  No need to ever feel trapped -- they are not trying to "trap you into a corner with their words "-- you are simply feeling trapped.

[AyelaNewLife]

7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I would imagine my responses would or could be different in a pick-up situation vs say, responding to a customer.

There's no need to feel trapped, especially in a possible pick-up situation -- you can flirt instead. For example, when someone asks "are you busy" you can flirtatiously say "well, that depends", or "I might be busy". Just teasing a bit can be fun.

In any situation when a stranger approaches me, wanting something, and I'm very busy, I've been known to respond to the question of "are you busy" or "can I ask a question" with "what's up?". That's a good option and throws the ball back to them.  No need to ever feel trapped -- they are not trying to "trap you into a corner with their words "-- you are simply feeling trapped.

You're right, of course, and I think "what's up?" is pretty much the best response possible in this circumstance. And this is rarely an issue with actual friends. But as a general rule, I'd much rather not be put in the position in the first place, and would prefer people to just tell me what they want so I can respond accordingly.

[Rolig Loon]

1 hour ago, AyelaNewLife said:

"Are you busy?" is not actually the question being asked here, you're actually being asked "are you willing to pause what you are doing right now in order to do the thing I'll suggest in a moment?". And as I cannot read minds, I cannot answer that.

That's a very good analysis, close to what was going through my head. There's no proper reaction that fits all situations. When you are asked "May I ask a question?"  you are indeed being asked for permission to interrupt you. You can either take that as a polite entry into a short conversation or you can bristle and take it as an unpleasant intrusion. Your choice depends on your own frame of mind, your quick assessment of the other person (appearance, tone of voice, etc), and what else is going on at the moment. In SL, we have fewer cues than in RL, which makes it even harder to decide what to say. 

Personally, I don't like feeling forced into a binary choice -- "Yes, ask me" or "No, I'm busy".  As you point out, both options have downsides and may involve telling a lie.  There's a third option, though ...  "I don't know. Try me."  That option is allowing the person to ask the question and therefore giving you a much better basis for deciding what to do next, all without committing yourself to do anything but listen. It's polite, truthful, and non-committal.