Should I put my real-life gender in my woman avatars' profiles?

[Gopi Passiflora]

Hello all,

I am a mostly straight man in real life who has avatars/accounts of different kinds (male and female, human and non-human, etc.) I do have woman avatars but I do not put my real life gender on them because I actually want other residents to think they are really women - even if I do not intend on pursuing relationships in virtual worlds. But after reading this forum, I'm beginning to think this may not be ethical. I'm curious if you think I should put my real-life gender on my woman avatars' profiles in order to deal with other residents in an ethical manner, or if it's okay to keep it hidden.  

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

Put your real life gender on one of your female avatars and don't on another one.  Take them in and see what the difference is.

[Gopi Passiflora]

3 minutes ago, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Put your real life gender on one of your female avatars and don't on another one.  Take them in and see what the difference is.

That would be an interesting experiment, I guess.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

Only you can answer that one, really. Depends on a lot of factors. How comfortable you are sharing RL details, how much you intend to interact with people, whether or not you plan on taking friendships outside of SL and into the real world, etc.

There are tons of men who play female characters in multiplayer platforms all over the Internet. There are tons of women who play male. Etc. Some keep it to themselves. Some make it known to everyone. Some only tell close friends. Up to you.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Ayashe Ninetails
Grammaring

[Gopi Passiflora]

1 minute ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Only you can answer that one, really. Depends on a lot of factors. How comfortable you are sharing RL details, how much you intend to interact with people, whether or not you plan on taking friendships outside of SL and into the real world, etc.

There are tons of men who play female characters in multiplayer platforms all over the Internet. There are tons of women who play male. Etc. Some keep it to themselves. Some make it known to everyone. Some only tell close friends. Up to you.

Thanks for the input! I generally try (keyword: try) not to mix RL with SL (or any other virtual world) and only want to share only general details about my real life in-world.

[Rowan Amore]

What you think is unethical is the only thing that matters.

[Gabriele Graves]

@Gopi Passiflora

Nobody has a right to your RL info.  It's perfectly OK not to declare any RL gender on your profile at all.
Even if you do, there's a high degree of chance that those who need to be convinced will not believe it anyway.

That's why there are those who put images of their "RL selves" fake or not on their profile in an attempt to be more convincing and also where that "Voice Verified" rubbish comes from.
For people who are really suspicious and/or who really want to know your RL gender, it's almost impossible to prove to them anyway.

Remember: On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

I've never put that I'm a RL woman on my profile because frankly I just don't need to convince anyone.  It isn't going to change anything.

If you were to be using SL for RL dating then you should be honest with those you are dating or looking to date.
It still doesn't have to be on your profile for everyone to see (or scrape).

You can just give that information out on a notecard upon request.  Your profile could even indicate that.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Gabriele Graves

[Henry Blackwood]

I always take the person as the avatar I see. I have no desire to know anything about their RL and certainly have no wish to bore them with details about my RL  

I've had some excellent friendships over the years, and to this day, couldn't tell you whether some of them were the opposite sex in RL to their avatar, and it honestly never bothered me if they were.

[Gopi Passiflora]

@Rowan Amore, @Gabriele Graves, and @Henry Blackwood....you all make excellent points. Thank you all for your input and I totally agree!

[Amanda Crisp]

Live your Second Life Gopi 🙂

I also take every avatar I meet as the typists expression of their aspirational self and not as something that has to match their RL genetic lottery.

”Your World, Your Imagination”

 

[Stephanie Misfit]

You don't have to. I use a male avatar sometimes and I don't have my real-life sex specified in his profile, and if I meet people when I am using him, I don't bother telling them that I am actually a woman. I can only recall one occasion that it was awkward. A female avatar (could have been a man in real life, for all I know!) became quite smitten with him and added him to her friend list. I wondered whether I should tell her, but decided that while she seemed friendly enough I did not want her to know any of my personal information because sometimes, when you tell someone one thing about yourself, they decide they can take it upon themselves to ask more questions and that can just get awkward. Sharing real life info in SL is fine,  but bad experiences mean I reserve that for good friends. The great thing about SL too is you can be whoever you want to be, and we don't all have to use SL in the same way. Lots of people just want to escape to another world, roleplay, and forget about real life, and that's OK.

[Ingrid Ingersoll]

2 hours ago, Stephanie Misfit said:

A female avatar (could have been a man in real life, for all I know!) 

I think 70% of the female avis in sl are rl males at this point. 

[Bree Giffen]

Even if you write something in your profile there is no way to verify! You could post a picture of yourself in the RL tab but we've all seen the website that creates totally realistic people who don't exist. Next you'll have to record your voice and play it whenever someone asks but that could also be done with an AI voice! There's truly no way unless you fly out to meet someone with multiple forms of I.D. and then log into SL in front of them.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

 "Are you a girl in RL" isn't the only question, its just the first question. Tell them the truth, or spin them a tale.

As long as you aren't using your story to try and get money out of them, its all good.

In the end you can rip their heart out and hand it to them on a silver platter, or keep up the fantasy until they give up and go away.

Really, it's  their problem if they fall in love with a cartoon, not yours.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 hour ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

I think 70% of the female avis in sl are rl males at this point. 

And 99% of the lesbians 😁

[Phil Deakins]

6 hours ago, Rowan Amore said:

What you think is unethical is the only thing that matters.

In certain circumstances, I disagree with that.

Some people, and I am one of them, would seriously hate to be 'romantic' with an avatar that is being operated by someone of the same gender and, imo, it's unethical to have someone think that the person at the keyboard is not the gender they believe they are 'interacting' with.

[Sid Nagy]

26 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

Really, it's  their problem if they fall in love with a cartoon, not yours.

Problem is, SL is not only about ones own emotions, but also about the emotions of other people one interacts with.
The RL person behind the keyboard shines trough the pixel doll on the screen. Maybe not their RL gender, but their character, their kindness, wittiness, charmes.
One should not think light about other peoples emotions IMHO.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Sid Nagy
Editting while BilliJo quoted my initial post.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 minute ago, Sid Nagy said:

Problem is, SL is not only about ones own emotions, but also about the emotions of other people one interacts with.
One should not screw with other peoples emotions IMHO.

I'm really not responsible for other peoples emotions. If you don't want to get hurt, don't fall in love in here.

 

[BilliJo Aldrin]

21 minutes ago, Phil Deakins said:

In certain circumstances, I disagree with that.

Some people, and I am one of them, would seriously hate to be 'romantic' with an avatar that is being operated by someone of the same gender and, imo, it's unethical to have someone think that the person at the keyboard is not the gender they believe they are 'interacting' with.

It's already been stated in this thread that it's impossible to ever know for sure the RL gender of the avatar you are interacting with.

I strongly you suggest you leave your emotions at the door when you log in, and just keep everything light and fun.

[Sid Nagy]

9 minutes ago, BilliJo Aldrin said:

I'm really not responsible for other peoples emotions. If you don't want to get hurt, don't fall in love in here.

 

Mileages in SL do vary a lot.
IMHO one can't simply take their own experience, feelings and lifestyle as the norm for whole SL. Behind each avatar sits a RL person with RL emotiions and expectations.

I for instance am an asexual. But I can't expect because of that, that there is no love, romance and sexual passion in SL.
Believe me, that made my SL more complicated than I wanted, more than once.  People fall in love in SL, even if I somehow can't.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Sid Nagy
And now my morning coffee.

[Krystina Ferraris]

The only unethical thing is deception.

If you're not planning on using your female characters to catfish others then RL info do not matter.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

1 minute ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

The only unethical thing is deception.

If you're not planning on using your female characters to catfish others then RL info do not matter.

I'm seeing a guy that's (so he says) madly in love with me. He was gonna rent land and build a house for us. I didn't ask him to or encourage him to. Once he realized he was gonna get some anyway, that never happened.

To me it's all... whatever.

[Kalegthepsionicist]

2 hours ago, Ingrid Ingersoll said:

I think 70% of the female avis in sl are rl males at this point. 

80℅

[Kalegthepsionicist]

95 % new user  ate alt not real noob

[Sid Nagy]

83.2% of all statistical facts used on the Internet are made up on the spot

Pssst @Kalegthepsionicist, you are posting one or more videos in this thread that are marked private.

Edited August 15, 2023 by Sid Nagy