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Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the captain speaking.

Gopi Passiflora

By Gopi Passiflora,
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Gopi Passiflora

Gopi Passiflora

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We're about 200 km from Tokyo. We're about to make our descent and taxi into the runway. The weather is sunny, with a high of 25 degrees Celsius. We will dock at gate 40 in approximately half an hour or so.

Here are the list of transfers:

For those making their way to Osaka: Gate 4.

For those continuing to Manila: Gate 20.

For those heading to Hong Kong: Gate 17.

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Rolig Loon

Rolig Loon

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"Sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen.  My co-pilot handed me gate information for the wrong airport.  The gate numbers I just read to you are not in the International area at Narita airport.  We're going to rustle around here and see if we can find a better map. ...  Meanwhile, thank you for flying with the Mrs. Grace L Ferguson Airlines and Storm Door Company. "

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Silent Mistwalker

Silent Mistwalker

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13 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

"Sorry, Ladies and Gentlemen.  My co-pilot handed me gate information for the wrong airport.  The gate numbers I just read to you are not in the International area at Narita airport.  We're going to rustle around here and see if we can find a better map. ...  Meanwhile, thank you for flying with the Mrs. Grace L Ferguson Airlines and Storm Door Company. "

Well damn. No wonder. I'm supposed to be on a Wing and a Prayer Airlines flight. 😆

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Ceka Cianci

Ceka Cianci

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*Ceka realizing the way things are going, they probably already have mother effin snakes on the mother effin plane.. Thinking quickly She grabs her banjo, strums and picks, giving the call of the Zombie..*

There, that should take care of any snakes when they land..

Wait!...Or was it, Guitar for mongoose?

So many powers so little experience! \o/

42356912740_499fd8023a_b.jpg

 

 

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Ceka Cianci

Ceka Cianci

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15 minutes ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

I just seen this movie the other day on either netflix or fandango.. What a goofy movie..hehehe

The drinking problem guy was so funny..xD

airplane-drinking-problem-gif-6.gif

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Sardonyx Mysterious

Sardonyx Mysterious

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The pilot would like to remind you that passengers may not deplane until they have been checked for proper hair length, degree of haggardness, script usage, polygon count and unsightly baggage. (Motions to person holding a measuring tape) Quinn, our flight attendant will be checking the height of all female avatars....you know why. Last but not least, all finger pointers shall be “assisted“ in deplaning at 5000 feet. Thank you for flying with us, we hope you enjoyed your flight!
 

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Aethelwine

Aethelwine

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8 hours ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

Reminds me of this real life example

Quote

"During the Kuala Lumpur-to-Perth leg of British Airways Flight 9 on 24 June 1982, volcanic ash caused all four engines of the Boeing 747 aircraft to fail. Although pressed for time as the aircraft rapidly lost altitude, Captain Eric Moody still managed to make an announcement to the passengers: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_understatement#Humour

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Amina Sopwith

Amina Sopwith

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1 hour ago, Aethelwine said:

 

Reminds me of this real life example

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/English_understatement#Humour

I went on several People's Vote marches against Brexit (and to think we thought it couldn't get any worse back then), and there were a great many signs along the lines of "Down With This Sort Of Thing", "I'm Really Quite Cross" and "This Is All Terribly Upsetting".

The ones protesting Trump's state visit were sublime. I had a montage somewhere but I can't find it now. "Trump Would Make Tea Like This", "Dear Queen, Don't Give Him The Nice Biscuits" and "We Don't Like You Very Much".

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Silent Mistwalker

Silent Mistwalker

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Wing and a Prayer Airlines was in one of the books written by Lewis Grizzard. 

Quote

Published works[edit]

  • Kathy Sue Loudermilk, I Love You: A Good Beer Joint Is Hard to Find and Other Facts of Life (1 December 1979) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • Won't You Come Home, Billy Bob Bailey?: An Assortment of Home-Cooked Journalism for People Who Wonder Why Clean Underwear Doesn't Grow on Trees (1 November 1980) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • Glory! Glory! Georgia's 1980 Championship Season: The Inside Story (1981) (Loran Smith with Lewis Grizzard)
  • Don't Sit Under the Grits Tree With Anyone Else but Me (1 November 1981) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • They Tore Out My Heart and Stomped That Sucker Flat (1 October 1982)
  • If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low (1 October 1983)
  • Elvis Is Dead and I Don't Feel So Good Myself (1 October 1984)
  • Shoot Low Boys - They're Riding Shetland Ponies (1 October 1985)
  • My Daddy Was a Pistol and I'm a Son of a Gun (1 October 1986)
  • When My Love Returns From the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care? (1 October 1987) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny - You Know Them Taters Got Eyes (1 October 1988)
  • Lewis Grizzard on Fear of Flying (1 April 1989)
  • Lewis Grizzard's Advice To The Newly Wed ... & the Newly Divorced (1 April 1989)
  • Chili Dawgs Always Bark At Night (1 September 1989) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • Does a Wild Bear Chip in the Woods? (1 May 1990)
  • If I Ever Get Back to Georgia, I'm Gonna Nail My Feet to the Ground (1 October 1990)
  • Don't Forget To Call Your Momma; I Wish I Could Call Mine (1 April 1991)
  • You Can't Put No Boogie Woogie on the King of Rock and Roll (1 October 1991) (collection of columns previously published in The Atlanta Journal-Constitution)
  • I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962 and Other Nekkid Truths (1 October 1992)
  • I Took a Lickin' and Kept on Tickin' and Now I Believe in Miracles (1 January 1994)

 

If you like southern humor, you'll love Grizzard.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lewis_Grizzard

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