How are you feeling today?

[Beth Macbain]

I know the month of December can be hard for a lot of people, myself included, and thought maybe we could have a tiny little spot right here where we could check in and maybe be empathetic to each other and not try to force good cheer down each other's throats. 

It's okay to not be okay. 

So... how're you feeling today? 

[Madelaine McMasters]

I'm fine. Thank you for asking, Beth.

This isn't so much about December as my slightly rising level of disquiet in general...

This too shall pass.

[Luna Bliss]

Maybe this will help you feel better, Maddy...

Our Mother grows angry. 
Retribution will be swift. 
We squander her soil and suck out her sweet black blood to burn it. 
We turned Money into god and salivate over opportunities to crumple and crinkle our souls for that paper that gold. 
Money has spent us. 
Left us in small boxes dark rooms bright screens empty tombs. 
Left Investing our time in hollow philosophies to placate the fear of our bodies returning back to the earth. 
Demand awakening. 
The path we have taken has rotted. 
Ignite. 
Stand upright and conduct yourself like lightning because 
The retribution will be swift.

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Maybe this will help you feel better, Maddy...

I'm not really looking to feel better. I really do feel fine. I'm happy, I'm lucky, I have more than I need. But, every so often, I sense that there's a better path to be on and I spend a great deal of time wondering (at a very low level) where it is. That happened about five years into my marriage and it took five years to do something about it. Twenty some years ago I couldn't hear the tick-tock of the clock as clearly as I do now.

Edited December 5, 2019 by Madelaine McMasters

[Beth Macbain]

12 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I'm fine. Thank you for asking, Beth.

This isn't so much about December as my slightly rising level of disquiet in general...

This too shall pass.

Thank you for sharing that... I really enjoyed it! I'll be sharing it with my family, too!

We do a thing here at work at the start of every meeting we have. It's called a "community meeting" and we go around the room and ask each other three questions:

• How are you feeling today?
• What are your goals for the day?
• Who will you go to if you need help? 

If the answer to the first question is "good" or "fine" or something generic like that, we ask them to expand on it a bit. If the person is experiencing anything negative (and we get brutally honest when we answer these), we ask them if they'd like a check-in later and if they say yes, we make sure we visit with them at some point during the day to give them a chance to talk. When they say who they'll go to for help, the person will chime in and say "I've got you," or "I've got your back."

It sounds kind of goofy and crunchy-granola, but it really helps now that we've all gotten used to it. It helps us know how to deal with each other when we're swamped, or having a bad day (we don't necessarily have to say why we're having a bad day, but it helps just knowing someone is dealing with something difficult). 

Is there anything we, or I, can do to help with your sense of discomfort? I share it as well, though I do feel a bit hopeful this morning knowing the House is moving forward with the Articles of Impeachment. 

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I'm not really looking to feel better.

I was just teasing you. I don't believe my video could help anyone feel better. I was mainly showing you, yes, I hear your concerns about climate change. I may stop reading the news as it's all getting way too scary.

[Madelaine McMasters]

3 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Is there anything we, or I, can do to help with your sense of discomfort?

I find discomfort to be useful. I generally let it build until I get a sense of what to do about it. I've been told I need to learn to accept both compliments and help. I can be a very slow learner.

5 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I do feel a bit hopeful this morning knowing the House is moving forward with the Articles of Impeachment. 

...hands you a bottle of TUMS. I don't see the Impeachment doing anything other than increasing odds of a second term.

It's an interesting and peculiar thing to observe, this world of ours.

[Madelaine McMasters]

4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I was just teasing you. I don't believe my video could help anyone feel better. I was mainly showing you, yes, I hear your concerns about climate change. I may stop reading the news as it's all getting way too scary.

Though I am concerned about climate change, the song I posted is (to me) actually more about that part of your comment that I italicized. I've been buried in home remodeling for quite a few years now. I'm nearing completion, not so much because I'm done as because I'm lowering the threshold for what I consider "done". It's a big, beautiful, scary world out there and I get the feeling that I've been hiding behind a can of paint rather than engaging it.

 

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

It's a big, beautiful, scary world out there and I get the feeling that I've been hiding behind a can of paint rather than engaging it.

What shall we do...travel to Washington and get arrested each Friday with Jane Fonda?  ;0   I do love to see the photos of her each Friday, waving the signs, being dragged off by police.  I feel a sense of temporary empowerment from it. Sadly, after examining the dilemma, I don't think there's much we can do to affect change. 

[Beth Macbain]

3 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I find discomfort to be useful. I generally let it build until I get a sense of what to do about it. I've been told I need to learn to accept both compliments and help. I can be a very slow learner.

...hands you a bottle of TUMS. I don't see the Impeachment doing anything other than increasing odds of a second term.

It's an interesting and peculiar thing to observe, this world of ours.

I agree with you about the discomfort. It's not healthy for us to get too complacent, I think. That's how we ended up where we are now.

And perhaps it'll lead to a second term, but I still take great joy in knowing that he's so spitting angry right now that he might have a stroke. 

Our world is a mess, or great big parts of it are, but I try to find things that balance it out a little bit, even if it's just laughing at a video of Tucker getting booped too many times.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

This is a useful reminder. I'm very fortunate (in all sorts of ways), and December is actually usually a good month for me (less work stress, for one thing).

But I am very tired. November was the opposite of stress-free.

And weary too. I get tired of fighting. Sometimes the forums contributes to that sense, rather than being (as it maybe should be) a relief from it.

I will mend, however -- and, as I say, I'm actually very fortunate in most ways, and very conscious of it.

Hugs to everyone who is feeling down. I can't tell you "it will get better," but I can affirm that there are people, even here, who care.

[Maitimo]

I am .. frustrated. I am trying to arrange an appointment with my doctor, I had one but it had to be changed because my doctor is unexpectedly unavailable that day. So she has been trying to phone me while I am at work, and I can't take calls at work. I've been trying all week to call back on my breaks and of course she is busy with patients. I have left a message with the receptionist to ask the doctor to make an appointment for me at any time and just message me with the new date, but the receptionist doesnt seem to understand.

[Beth Macbain]

26 minutes ago, Matty Luminos said:

I am .. frustrated. I am trying to arrange an appointment with my doctor, I had one but it had to be changed because my doctor is unexpectedly unavailable that day. So she has been trying to phone me while I am at work, and I can't take calls at work. I've been trying all week to call back on my breaks and of course she is busy with patients. I have left a message with the receptionist to ask the doctor to make an appointment for me at any time and just message me with the new date, but the receptionist doesnt seem to understand.

That has to be incredibly aggravating. I'm not sure what kind of doctor, and this isn't an excuse, but if it's a general physician, she and her staff are probably buried in flu patients. 

Working regular day shifts can make it crazy hard to do normal things like talk to your doctor. I hope you're able to get it straightened out and get your appointment made!

[Sukubia Scarmon]

I'm frustrated due to my city and it's christmas market - both could do so much better, but noo, and people can be impressed with a few blingy lights.

I'm anxious, because I'll not spend christmas with my toxic family this year, but with the intact family of my boyfriend, and for some reason that scares me. I'm afraid I might not manage to cope, because I tend to be relatively awkward around them because it's so unusual for me to see a family not being assholes to each other? Hard to explain, that one. Also, I'm anxious because of the fallout my absence with my own family will cause, because while they know I wont be there, doesn't mean they'll like it or not cause me trouble for it. 

Other than that, I'm doing okay, I'm more stressed around this time of year, and that surely is affecting my mental health somewhat, but I'm managing, so far.

[Beth Macbain]

4 minutes ago, Sukubia Scarmon said:

I'm anxious, because I'll not spend christmas with my toxic family this year, but with the intact family of my boyfriend, and for some reason that scares me. I'm afraid I might not manage to cope, because I tend to be relatively awkward around them because it's so unusual for me to see a family not being assholes to each other? Hard to explain, that one. Also, I'm anxious because of the fallout my absence with my own family will cause, because while they know I wont be there, doesn't mean they'll like it or not cause me trouble for it. 

Other than that, I'm doing okay, I'm more stressed around this time of year, and that surely is affecting my mental health somewhat, but I'm managing, so far.

I come from a family that doesn't fight and actually enjoys each other's company. At different times, we all brought home strays and orphans for the holidays whether it be spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, or lonely people we met in the bar the night before to spend the holidays with us. Trust that his family wants you there, and enjoys your company. Family doesn't have to be related by blood, and being related by blood doesn't mean someone has to be family. The holidays are stressful enough - find your own peace and block out the noise others may try to make. 

At the end of everything, you're only going to be you for this one life so spend that life doing what it takes to make yourself happy and peaceful. Sometimes that causes hurt for others, even though it's not intentional. That hurt is theirs to manage, though, not yours. Part of being an adult, I think, is truly accepting that people just aren't going to do things the way you want them to, and that life is far too short to spend it being mad at people because of that.

So please don't feel bad about putting your own family on the back burner this Christmas. *hugs*

[Garnet Psaltery]

What a thoughtful thread.  I'm actually feeling good today, as my health isn't terrible and I've just had a most interesting visit from a new person.  I was reminded of what it feels like to be new and see everything for the first time, and not know how to do things.  I felt like patting him on the head.   I've also been invited to act a little, which I haven't been able to do for a long time (had to get my health a bit more under control), and have met some people I knew from way back.  It's a good day.  I hope others here will have bright spots in their week too. 

[Cindy Evanier]

I am feeling a whole heap of things today which is very difficult to put into words.  The closest I can come up with is after riding a rollercoaster I get to the end and get shoved into a tumble dryer.   The current lows outweigh the highs.  I will continue to take joy from the highs though like the giggle I just got from a not so secret santa gift I got from a forum friend  (evil evil boy)  As Scarlett said 

hip bumps everyone who is just not feeling it today either.  Grab your inner Scarlett if it helps

[Ivanova Shostakovich]

   I have the same low level of disquiet from which Maddy suffers. It's due to some of the same reasons.

   I'm happy, because it's the holiday season, most everybody in my family is healthy, or, at least, physically stable. My children, although they are experiencing challenges, are happy and enjoying life. They have little stress in their lives, for the moment. And they tell us they believe they have really good parents.

   I'm sad for my sister. She's been through, beginning ten years ago, a grand mal seizure, a brain tumor diagnosis ("benign"), surgeries to remove it, other seizures of various types, and some resultant disabilities. Now she's dealing with new a health issue of a very personal nature which is both devastating, and inconvenient. She is definitely not where she thought she might be at this stage in her life.

   I'm worried about an SL friend who's already let me know he's looking at the tail end of a disease which will claim his life. I see him log in more and more seldom, and make a point of sending a hug each time.

   I've recently been excited and glad at the return of an old SL friend who was actually the very first friend I ever made in SL. When we met she was a mentor and helped me learn all kinds of things here. She was subsequently absent for  several years, seldom logging in and then only briefly. Her return now, though on a limited basis, is going to be fairly regular. And she has so many questions. So now, it seems, our roles are reversed.

   I feel periodically frustrated. Having gained so much knowledge and experience over the years, I feel so much more competent than I used to. I've done my best to follow all the positive role models in my life. I like myself, but... why can't I have both this and youth? I am quite certain that when I am old and creaky, and lying on my death bed, I will look out the window at a Spring day, and want nothing more than to have back all the Mondays I cursed.

   There is more about which to feel unease, happiness, sadness, worry, excitement and frustration. It will always be there, and I'm not the only one.

   Everyone, all of you, please take care of yourselves. You are worth more than you know.

   

Edited December 5, 2019 by Ivanova Shostakovich
because I forgot something in my bewilderment.

[Lindal Kidd]

Maddy, Ivana, everyone...

I think this sort of angst is nearly universal, especially as we grow older.  As the old German philosopher said, "Ve iz too soon old, und too late schmart!"

[Beth Macbain]

1 hour ago, Cindy Evanier said:

I am feeling a whole heap of things today which is very difficult to put into words.  The closest I can come up with is after riding a rollercoaster I get to the end and get shoved into a tumble dryer.   The current lows outweigh the highs.  

You got this! And if you need to word dump, even SHOUTING IN CAPITAL LETTERS please feel free to do so.

HUGS!

Edited December 5, 2019 by Beth Macbain

[Beth Macbain]

1 hour ago, Ivanova Shostakovich said:

Everyone, all of you, please take care of yourselves. You are worth more than you know.

So are YOU!

[MrsSeren]

Today is good day with my mental health, I'm feeling good mentally though full of a cold!  But I had lemsip; and been keeping fluids up so I be okay but in meantime I'm enjoying being snuggled under my duvet!

 

Edited December 5, 2019 by MrsSeren

[Velk Kerang]

I feel awesome right now today. Just got my plumbing fixed. I can now go wash my arse. Yayyy me!!!! Lmao!!!!😁

[Beth Macbain]

9 minutes ago, MrsSeren said:

But I had lemsip; and been keeping fluids up so I be okay but in meantime I'm enjoying being snuggled under my duvet!

 

We don't have anything called "lemsip" in the states and it sounded really good, like lemonade or something, until I googled it... lol!

Feel better!!

[Rolig Loon]

Many years ago, I participated in a conference on what was generally termed "The Freshman Experience" in college -- strategies for helping first-year students adjust to the strange and sometimes upsetting world of college.  One of my colleagues summed up the angst that prevails among freshmen by noting that they have three big worries:

1. What am I going to do with my life?

2. Who can I trust?

3. Does anyone love me?

I believe that these questions are indeed at the front of your mind in your late teens, but they never go away. They keep resurfacing throughout your life, rephrased and tailored to more complicated circumstances as you start a career and family, move to new communities, face family and financial challenges, and head into retirement.  When I have sleepless nights, I find that it's because my brain has latched on to one of those three questions and won't let go.  I am reassured when I step back and realize that I have asked those questions many, many times and have always found that the answers are:

1. I have been doing rewarding work that has made a difference for other people, and have no lack of opportunities to reinvent myself and keep on being useful.

2. I can trust most people, in the end. The older I get, the more I trust my own street smarts to warn me of potholes in the road ahead, and the more confident I am that I can sidestep them. The day may come when I am blindsided by some unexpected evil, but so far statistics are on my side. And I am much calmer if I begin by assuming trust than if I suspect evil lurking at every turn.

3. Yes. Many, and probably many that I do not know.  The feeling is mutual.

Most days, the world looks pretty good to me. As they say, YMMV.