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Absolutely broken.  I have just had confirmation that my wonderful, amazing,  perfectly imperfect partner lost his battle with cancer this morning.  We almost made it to 11 years in this mad crazy wor

My dad passed away today, in his sleep, at the hospice. I'm in that shock phase now, numb and unable to think.

So, quick update number 2...  My daughter is negative for covid-19!!! the super quarantine is lifted and we can go grocery shopping! Back to your regularly scheduled bickering.. 

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10 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

At the risk of turning this thread political, I've just accepted that there are certain people in the US that will excuse literally anything the orange oaf does. I consider those people willfully (and that word is very important) stupid and have just written them off as war casualties. The rest of us, and the rest of the world (other than the orange oaf's boss Vladimir) are moving forward without him.  

And it's glorious!

I generally agree with you but I've learned that there are many who side with the orange oaf because they are convinced that the other side is just as crooked, just better at hiding it. I'm fed up with both sides.  I'm waiting for the crowd with the pitchforks to run amok and tear the oligarchy down.  Not sure if it's going to happen but I'm hoping. When they do, I guess i will be a refugee. I'd have moved to Canada already but I hate snow and cold.

Today I woke up thinking I'd lost power again and rolled over and went back to sleep, Woke up 2 hours later and realized I'd just pulled the plug on my alarm by accident.  Stumbled into the other room to start working with my head all cloudy because I'd forgotten my meds yesterday.  I hate when I do that! It's lunch time now, and I'm just starting to feel alive again.

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Puhleeez no politics! They're all idjits!

Shooting three product videos today. Very very excited. End of year college gathering tomorrow. Happy end of 2019 indeed.  

Adds: Went to put two bits of raisin bread in the toaster for brekkie.. already 2 bits in there... o.0
Where do I get these meds again? :o

Edited by Maryanne Solo
toasted it
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28 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

Stumbled into the other room to start working with my head all cloudy because I'd forgotten my meds yesterday.

Often on the weekend I'll forget to take my happy pills. I usually remember when I start getting the brain zaps - and at that point I will break a capsule open and chew the little beads inside it to stop them! 

Meds are a pain in the butt, but I couldn't live without them!

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10 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

Often on the weekend I'll forget to take my happy pills. I usually remember when I start getting the brain zaps - and at that point I will break a capsule open and chew the little beads inside it to stop them! 

Meds are a pain in the butt, but I couldn't live without them!

i so agree!  I used to take them just before bed, but i switched to taking them first thing in the morning so I'd have a second chance to take them before I fall asleep and have the weird dreams.... but that just makes it that much worse if I do forget because my body's been without them longer.

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1 hour ago, Maryanne Solo said:

Adds: Went to put two bits of raisin bread in the toaster for brekkie.. already 2 bits in there... o.0
Where do I get these meds again?

   There's medicine for time-warping raisin bread into toasters? I don't know if that's 'medicine', strictly speaking ...

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40 minutes ago, AyelaNewLife said:

Honest answer is I'm not doing so hot. And I don't think there's a fix for that. Sorry.

Do you need to talk? Yell, scream, or cry? Because if you do, I’m available for listening with platitudes or unsolicited unhelpful advice.

hugs

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On 12/5/2019 at 10:21 AM, Beth Macbain said:

I know the month of December can be hard for a lot of people, myself included, and thought maybe we could have a tiny little spot right here where we could check in and maybe be empathetic to each other and not try to force good cheer down each other's throats. 

It's okay to not be okay. 

So... how're you feeling today? 

Missing my husband, Christmas eve was our anniversary. So if I seem unusually more so grumpy.. that is why. I am sorry you are blue to. 

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   Wednesdays I go home after lunch. Left a rounded and backed book to press overnight, which means that I get to start tomorrow off with stitching endbands for it ... I love stitching endbands.

image.thumb.png.65d29d3053570c4e9f4048e17a3c397e.png

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6 hours ago, Tarina Sewell said:

Missing my husband, Christmas eve was our anniversary.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs, if they are welcome.

I'm missing my brother, who I lost to suicide a little over a year ago. He's been in my mind every hour of every day sindce that phone call, and then there are days like today, where the grief just crushes me out of the blue. This coming sunday would have been his birthday, and a whole bunch of musicians from our hometown, that I used to play in bands with, are putting on an event in his memory and raising money for a mental health charity. Last night his best friend messaged to check in on me, to see if I could make it and take part, but I'm stuck where I am.

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7 hours ago, Tarina Sewell said:

Missing my husband, Christmas eve was our anniversary. So if I seem unusually more so grumpy.. that is why. I am sorry you are blue to. 

Thinking of you Tarina!  My mom and dad have died some ten years ago, which seems like yesterday and I feel a little bit like an orphan at Christmas. I feel the need to prepare some of the dishes they used to make so I can feel a little closer.

If I could give you a hug I would!

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9 hours ago, Tarina Sewell said:

Missing my husband, Christmas eve was our anniversary. So if I seem unusually more so grumpy.. that is why. I am sorry you are blue to. 

I"m so sorry. It's things like this that others don't consider when telling people to be all cheery and happy this time of year. 

I hope you have a strong support system to help you get through the rest of this month - or please feel free to use us (or me - I suppose I shouldn't offer up others!) to yell or scream or cry to. Or even if you just want to sit quietly and brood around someone else who understands. 

I'm in the up and down place right now. Everything sucks, then it's all wonderful, then it all sucks again... the roller coaster is exhausting. 

I just want it to be January. 

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2 hours ago, LexxiXhan said:

I'm missing my brother, who I lost to suicide a little over a year ago.

I lost a brother to suicide this same time of year as well, but it was... gosh, this year will be 40 years ago. I was only 10, but I remember the horror of it like it was yesterday. The first year wasn't the worst for me. With both my brothers that I've lost and both my parents, it was the 2nd round of holidays without them that hit me the hardest. Everyone is very careful and aware and looking out for each other for the first round of holidays. With the second round, everyone seems to have moved on and now it's just another "thing" when for some of us it's still devastating. 

Losing someone to suicide is especially hard. I'm just so sorry. Do whatever you need to do to get through - there is no right or wrong. Do whatever works best for you, whether it's being alone, or being around people, or screaming into the void, or sleeping all the time, or eating 14 cheesecakes washed down with bourbon. Or chocolate milk. Or another cheesecake.

I'm here if you need me. 

hugs

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I visited my emergency backup mom the day after Thanksgiving. She chided me, as she has for more than thirty years, for not wearing a dress, and for not padding my bra enough. Since she moved to assisted living, many of my visits have included doing pirouettes (often in front of her friends) while she noted how trim I am and how bigger boobs would be just the ticket (to what event, I don't know). The things I do to keep people happy.

She was injured in a fall over the weekend. Surgery was ruled out and she was scheduled for hospice care. I called around to that part of her circle of friends that wasn't well known to her son, while he made calls to the family, encouraging everyone to visit while they could.

I visited in the evening, wearing a dress, heels, a strand of pearls and my most padded bra. She was unresponsive until I leaned over, grabbed her hand, and told her I was wearing a dress. She opened her eyes. I did a pirouette, then grabbed her hand again and leaned in. She looked at me and said "You're a good girl." I pointed to her son, who was standing across the room and said "You've got a good boy, too." She rolled her eyes and looked away.

She passed away in her sleep overnight. It seems her last words were "You're a good girl" and her last conscious act was to roll her eyes at her own kid (27 years my senior). She was quintessentially herself in that one brief moment.

Though I'm not particularly fond of her son, he did say he'd like to keep in touch. I explained that would mean enduring my endless retelling of her last words and actions.

"I can live with that".

So can I.

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28 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

many of my visits have included doing pirouettes (often in front of her friends) while she noted how trim I am and how bigger boobs would be just the ticket (to what event, I don't know).

They would give you greater mass, therefore allow for a greater rotation speed in your pirouettes. 

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30 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

She passed away in her sleep overnight. It seems her last words were "You're a good girl" and her last conscious act was to roll her eyes at her own kid (27 years my senior). She was quintessentially herself in that one brief moment.

I'm sorry for your loss.

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29 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

She passed away in her sleep overnight. It seems her last words were "You're a good girl" and her last conscious act was to roll her eyes at her own kid (27 years my senior). She was quintessentially herself in that one brief moment.

What a good way to be remembered.  We should all be so lucky.  
I know how close you felt, Maddy.  This will be a season to tuck away in your own memories and replay for the years to come.

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31 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

She passed away in her sleep overnight. It seems her last words were "You're a good girl" and her last conscious act was to roll her eyes at her own kid (27 years my senior). She was quintessentially herself in that one brief moment.

First, I'm so very sorry for your loss. 

...forces a hug on you whether you like it or not...

This is another instance of where our available reaction emojis are inadequacy, because I both love this story, and am heartbroken for you, and for the loss of someone who sounds like quite the lady. 

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