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Gopi Passiflora

Scenario: Yay. It's another day at work....

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You go slowly to your cubicle and get ready to your daily paperwork. The boss, looking as stern as ever, is watching everyone's moves. You sigh and look out the window. "It's such a beautiful day," you think, "Why can't you go out?"

As you continue to look out the window, something catches your eye: a handsome or beautiful person of the gender of your preference. You stop and can't help but admire him or her. Your desire to leave the office gets even stronger - such that you desperately want to meet that dreamy guy or girl.

What do you do?

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Continue to work because you know damn well that one way or another that "handsome" person will rip your heart out somehow by lying, cheating, drinking too much or using you because you make more money than he does. The fantasy is always better than the reality so admire from afar as you would a nice painting. 

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15 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

Your desire to leave the office gets even stronger - such that you desperately want to meet that dreamy guy or girl.

What do you do?

Well, I reflect upon the fact that, after some false starts, I did meet my dream.

As, I'm sure, will you, Gopi.

Has it occurred to you that you may actually be someone else's "dream guy or girl"?

I think that's entirely possible. Maybe it's just waiting to happen.

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
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2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Well, I reflect upon the fact that, after some false starts, I did meet my dream.

As, I'm sure, will you, Gopi.

Has it occurred to you that you may actually be some else's "dream guy or girl"?

I think that's entirely possible. Maybe it's just waiting to happen.

Aww...that's really sweet of you to say that! Thank you! I appreciate it! I'm also happy for you, too!

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1 hour ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

You go slowly to your cubicle and get ready to your daily paperwork. The boss, looking as stern as ever, is watching everyone's moves. You sigh and look out the window. "It's such a beautiful day," you think, "Why can't you go out?"

As you continue to look out the window, something catches your eye: a handsome or beautiful person of the gender of your preference. You stop and can't help but admire him or her. Your desire to leave the office gets even stronger - such that you desperately want to meet that dreamy guy or girl.

What do you do?

I smile, get a cup of coffee and go back to my desk. Flights of fantasy are nice on occasion but it's work that pays my bills, and in any case, my real dream guy will be there when I get home. Also, none of my bosses are stern. My direct manager is a lovely lady and the department head is probably the coolest one we've had in the 10 years I've been there. 

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You definitely don't work in my office. 

But given you work in yours...go and talk to him/her? Ask how their weekend was?

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Well, I am already married to my dream person, but if I was single in this scenario I might go take a walk to check out this potential dream person. In reality though, an attractive appearance is just one element of compatibility. Chances are low that this random attractive person that is walking down the road would be The One. But nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

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A coffee and choc muffin is more likely to be a long term solution and coping mechanism.

Just saying.

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   I put a steel-capped boot under the desk, kicking it over in a rain of stray documents sailing through the air, before walking off wondering what kind of masochist would ever work in such a stressful environment, when one can work with one's hands instead.

   As for the dream girl, no thanks. I'm quite content with my current situation.

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Has it occurred to you that you may actually be some else's "dream guy or girl"?

   Aw, Scylla I'm still your worst nightmare though, right? ❤️

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Look at the ring on my finger and get to work.

 

Then glance over at him every once in a while and think “Damn, he fine.”

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Hi Gopi -Don’t listen to all the naysayers! Jump up, flip off your boss, and take the chance! Follow your heart and all that stuff!

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I'm going to take a middle ground on this one.

@Linda Reddevil is probably right about that good-looking person strolling by outside, although I probably wouldn't put it quite so cynically.  But working at a job you detest is a real downer.  I did it for years, and now I look back on those years and realize I wasted them in a cubicle.

If you don't like your job, CHANGE IT!  Don't kick over your desk and holler "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"  But do whatever you need to do to change it.  Retrain.  Switch departments.  Put your resume out there and change companies.  Start a little business on the side and grow it until you can quit the grind and be your own boss.  Retire and go live in a van with your cat.  Write a novel and keep pushing it under publishers' doors until it sells.  Anything, as long as it's a solution that keeps you eating and out of the rain at night.

While you are busy doing all that, Mr. or Miss Right will probably show up in the mix somewhere.

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5 hours ago, janetosilio said:

Look at the ring on my finger and get to work.

 

Then glance over at him every once in a while and think “Damn, he fine.”

If he's that fine, he probably likes other fine guys like himself.

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5 hours ago, Lyssa Greymoon said:

Why am I still here instead of doing something productive like sleeping until noon then streaming Fortnite badly?

   Because we're all oh-so-enthralling? Wiggles eyebrows.

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So nice to see you, Gopi!

There was never really a time in my career where I wanted to escape work. I've always loved what I do and the people I did it with. I get pleasure from sharing my enthusiasm with others. Whether I am lucky to do work I love, or lucky to love the work I do, isn't clear and makes no difference. I'm lucky either way.

Still, I do encounter visually beautiful people out in the wild, and I will stop to soak them in. I might briefly imagine approaching them, but let it pass. I have noticed that I have a heightened awareness of the beauty in everyone and everything else for some time after such encounters. If others experience this as well, I will argue that beautiful people are a benefit to society and we should appreciate them for that.

I don't fret over not acting on my desires, as I'm well aware that the attraction I might feel for that beautiful person is largely a projection of my imagination (Hello, SL!). How many times have you seen a photogenic face, only to discover that, in motion, it's less attractive? How many times have you seen someone in motion, from across a room, and moved closer to discover that, given a voice, they're less attractive?. How many times have you heard an attractive voice, only to find that it's backed by a 2D personality? In reverse, how often have you discovered some beauty, via thoughts and actions, in someone you'd not noticed before? I am attracted to people who are passionate about what they do, and I feed off that passion to power myself. They are not terribly hard to find.

I recently attended the wedding of a cousin, at which there was a young women waiting tables. She was not physically attractive, but she lit up the room. She was the highlight of my evening, even as I overheard her telling other wait staff that she had another job after the wedding that would keep her busy till dawn, after which she'd have to care for her two children (I presumed she was a single mom). At the end of the evening, I thanked her for being such a delight. Her joyous attitude was infectious and humbling, and I mused on that for days afterwards.

In a different kind of reverse, am I looking at a beauty I'd be uncomfortable displaying myself? Sure, I'd love to be physically beautiful, but then I imagine the potential for that to obscure appreciation for the rest of me because that beauty sets up an unrealistic expectation in others. Or I imagine dashing someone's hopes as I become that person who's voice reveals a 2D interior. I'm an engineer with an absurd sense of humor, I love to dig into complex problems that might take years to solve and marvel at my ability to solve them while making stupid mistakes. How heavenly it would be to surround myself with people who share my interests, my recognition of unavoidable fallibility, and who will challenge me.

So, in your case I'd admire from afar for a moment, then get back to work, looking for something attractive in it, and in those around me. And, before the day is out, I'll find something to appreciate in someone... and maybe I'll thank them for it.

Thanks for the question, Gopi.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
Complete thoughts want complete sentences.
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I switched careers midstream. I fell into my first one, and did it for years until I finally realized I just freaking hated every single freaking miserable freaking second of it. Working in a pharmacy is a particular hell on earth and stressful beyond belief. 

I was moving to another state, and took a chance to try something different even though I had a (pharmacy) job waiting for me with a company I was completely vested in. Best damn thing I've ever done. I had absolutely no idea that taking a very low paying job in an interesting industry would turn into my second career in the nonprofit world. I did briefly go back to the for profit world and it was just as miserable as I remembered. Never again. 

It doesn't matter, though, what the jobs are, or the sectors, etc... what matters is taking the chance to try something new. You never know if something will be magical for you, or hell for you, until you try it. You might have to try several times and restart several times. I love what I'm doing right now, but I'm also pretty burnt out because I've been doing pretty much the exact same thing for almost 14 years now. I'm not sure, even at 50, that this is my final form. I'm not discounting the possibility of quitting this job, moving to another country, and trying something completely different. 

You have to keep a roof over your head, so you can't do it as flippantly as I first jokingly suggested, but never let a miserable job hold you back from finding your bliss. You will never look back on life and think, "gee, I wish I'd worked harder at that soul-sucking cubicle job." Get your resume all nice and shiny and send anywhere that looks interesting to you even if it's not even close to what you're doing now. You never know what'll happen and it just could be a HUGE turning point towards happiness and fulfillment! 

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6 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I fell into my first one, and did it for years until I finally realized I just freaking hated every single freaking miserable freaking second of it. Working in a pharmacy is a particular hell on earth and stressful beyond belief. 

   I loved being a baker, but the early mornings were killing me.

   Carpentry was fun, but noisy and dusty.

   What I do now is absolutely blissful, though.

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2 minutes ago, Orwar said:

What I do now is absolutely blissful, though.

I have a million utterly filthy ideas of how to ask this question, but I'll be good and just inquire as to what you do now. 

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8 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I have a million utterly filthy ideas of how to ask this question, but I'll be good and just inquire as to what you do now. 

   No fun.

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7 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   No fun.

Agreed but I feel confident that the moderators have a big red flag next to my name and watch everything I say very closely for any hint of impropriety. 

The forum has eyes... and ears... a mouth, too... oh, god, is it becoming self-aware?!

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Just now, Beth Macbain said:

Agreed but I feel confident that the moderators have a big red flag next to my name and watch everything I say very closely for any hint of impropriety. 

The forum has eyes... and ears... a mouth, too... oh, god, is it becoming self-aware?!

   Yes, I know the feeling ... I didn't write 'Eucalyptus' in my title.

   I'm a bookbinder.

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