Starting a conversation with someone new

[Alyona Su]

1 hour ago, Velk Kerang said:

Why, yes. Yes it is. Must you always be so technical? lol 😜

  My RL job is communications. I went to University to study communications. Part of that is realizing words have meaning, what a genuine acronym is, and when Initials represent something they should be clearly marked as initials. So nanner, nanner. Now go jabberwocky with everyone else so I have a reason to scold you for silly, irrelevant, no-one-cares reasons!~picks a booger from her nose and flings it toward your direction~

In truth, I saw she wrote "usa" and thought it was a typo but could not figure out the word she was trying to write (because 'use' didn't fit.) It literally took me a few seconds to realize they meant "U.S.A.." My mind is wired for attention to detail and if that detail is off, it can be a wrench thrown into my cranial machine and gears start grinding, so if you're ever near me and start smelling smoke.... Hahahaha

Edited November 7, 2019 by Alyona Su

[Maitimo]

On 11/6/2019 at 1:39 PM, clone00345 said:

I am just wondering.... those people who hate to be asked "how are you?" are not Americans?

I was actually surprised to learn that it's a thing in the US, I always considered it to be very British. And in Britain, the only correct response is "Fine, thank you, and you?"

And ordinarily it's not something that bothers me. What actually does bother me about it, is that when I'm using a feminine avatar, it doesn't actually mean "How are you?" 99.99% of the time what it really means is "Will you have sex with me?"

No-one ever IMs me with a "How are you?" when I'm using a masculine avatar. That's why it annoys me.

Edited November 7, 2019 by Matty Luminos
typo

[Rolig Loon]

Odd.  I must lead a sheltered life, or maybe I am more intimidating than I thought.  I have never had any stranger in SL ask, "How are you?" And when someone I know asks, I think it's rarely meant anything more than "Hello".  

[Velk Kerang]

1 hour ago, Alyona Su said:

  My RL job is communications. I went to University to study communications. Part of that is realizing words have meaning, what a genuine acronym is, and when Initials represent something they should be clearly marked as initials. So nanner, nanner. Now go jabberwocky with everyone else so I have a reason to scold you for silly, irrelevant, no-one-cares reasons!~picks a booger from her nose and flings it toward your direction~

In truth, I saw she wrote "usa" and thought it was a typo but could not figure out the word she was trying to write (because 'use' didn't fit.) It literally took me a few seconds to realize they meant "U.S.A.." My mind is wired for attention to detail and if that detail is off, it can be a wrench thrown into my cranial machine and gears start grinding, so if you're ever near me and start smelling smoke.... Hahahaha

Oh ya? Well I have a degree in BS and I studied at the University of BS so nanner nanner how you like them apples? *Catches your booger and eats it.* See that? Ima a tough guy and this is what tough guys do. *Chews on it a bit and wiggles the slimy part around my tongue. A little crunch here and a little crunch there. Makes a face and spits it back out.* Ok, maybe not so tough. 🤢 Lmao!!!!😜

[Alyona Su]

2 minutes ago, Velk Kerang said:

Oh ya? Well I have a degree in BS and I studied at the University of BS so nanner nanner how you like them apples? *Catches your booger and eats it.* See that? Ima a tough guy and this is what tough guys do. *Chews on it a bit and wiggles the slimy part around my tongue. A little crunch here and a little crunch there. Makes a face and spits it back out.* Ok, maybe not so tough. 🤢 Lmao!!!!😜

We studied BS, too. Except we call it "SPIN", most commonly used by sales people, Politicians, and Linden Lab. ~snorts~

[Velk Kerang]

3 minutes ago, Alyona Su said:

We studied BS, too. Except we call it "SPIN", most commonly used by sales people, Politicians, and Linden Lab. ~snorts~

Oh no you said the dreaded P-word. lol Please do not ever tell me you go that rout in RL. lol *Does my Negan voice.* DO NOT shatter my mental image of you. Right now your a bad a**. lol 😜

All a politician has ever done for me is put me in big and deep doo doo. lol 😲

 

[LyricalBookworm]

I'm never one to initiate a conversation with someone I don't know.  

Personally, I don't mind someone simply saying hello to me. I think a conversation goes better when the person initiating begins how they are most comfortable. As long as it's respectful to the other person of course.

The key is keep the conversation flowing after the opening greeting. Don't expect the person you message to carry the entire conversation.

For the most part, just be yourself. 

[Cindy Evanier]

Outside of business reasons I am rarely the first to start a conversation with someone.  The 2 times I know I did start the conversation with random chatter resulted in one becoming my partner for the last 10 years and the other becoming my best friend for the last 10 years.  I can't imagine how my SL would have been without these 2 wonderful men in it.   Probably wouldn't have lasted this long.

 

[BraveHot]

23 hours ago, Alyona Su said:

If you are asking me how I am and really don't care about my answer, polite conversation or not, it's still fakery on your part. LOL There are a lot of ways to create polite conversation, but that phrase is just intellectual laziness, or simple-mindedness. As in my example above, if you ask me how I am, I'll answer it literally with as much truthful sincerity as I perceive the asking party is putting into it. ~winks~

One thing we do agree on: If you ask someone how they are, you should probably be prepared to get an honest answer

I just read a "how are you" as hi or hello. 

[Alyona Su]

1 hour ago, BraveHot said:

I just read a "how are you" as hi or hello. 

Except when it's this (and this is the version I'm referring to):

They: "Hi."

Moi; "Hello!"

They: "How are you?"

Moi: ~Thinks fast for the mostest-grossest answer I can come up with...~

OR

I could just respond truthfully my expressing what I'm really thinking and put them on the spot by asking "Do you really want to know or are you just too mentally lazy to come up with something better than that?" - BUT, that would be rude and just chase them away, right?

Edited November 8, 2019 by Alyona Su

[BelindaN]

If I just get "hi" (hardly ever with upper case H), I just say "hi" or "Hi" back.

It usually dries up after three or four ping pongs.

And k for OK? Grinds my gears.....

[Eric Castanea]

I personally see nothing wrong with "small talk". When I'm out and about in RL, I always say hello to people, make a polite inquiry about how a person's day is going, etc. After a while, when that person sees me, they seem remember that simple courtesy and politeness. They become happy to see me.

I don't see why it should be different in SL.

I don't understand why anyone would be against it. Are you really so important that you don't have time to exchange a few pleasantries?

[Cristiano Midnight]

On 11/9/2019 at 7:28 AM, BelindaN said:

If I just get "hi" (hardly ever with upper case H), I just say "hi" or "Hi" back.

It usually dries up after three or four ping pongs.

And k for OK? Grinds my gears.....

Even worse is the scourge of kk as a response.

[So Whimsy]

2 minutes ago, Cristiano Midnight said:

Even worse is the scourge of kk as a response.

As long as it's not kkk..

[Madelaine McMasters]

13 minutes ago, Syn Anatine said:

As long as it's not kkk..

I've been using "k" and "kk" in conversation, both in SL and RL, since childhood. I think I'm careful enough about where I use them that people find them humorous. For example, I might get into a deep philosophical discussion with someone, who expresses something so well that I've really nothing to add to it. I'll respond "k". Or, someone might deliver a gentle admonishment I can't argue with. I'll express mock frustration (with me for needing correction and them for delivering it) by saying "kk".

Hopefully, I use these contractions in a way that suggests they are not throw away responses, and I delight in people using them in that same way. I can imagine situations in which "kkk" would be an ideal response.

Edited November 11, 2019 by Madelaine McMasters

[Rolig Loon]

I only started noticing "k" and "kk" within the past few months in SL.  I thought maybe they were a regional or cultural thing or some passing linguistic fad, like "bespoke" (which means .... ??).

[Madelaine McMasters]

39 minutes ago, Rolig Loon said:

like "bespoke" (which means .... ??).

That's Britspeak intended to mean "custom made", though I've recently seen it misused to mean "off the shelf".

Appropriations like that are a bloody shame.

[Seicher Rae]

:::looks paranoid::: uh oh. I think I've used "k" a bit, but I think I primarily use it with a good friend. (? gah, I hope so). I've been known to use it dismissively, like if someone is prattling on about something I'll use a pause ... k, to indicate whatever. Now, if I type ohhhkaaay, that's equivalent to oh no you dinnit! or wtf are you on about?

[Orwar]

   Well, if someone can't put the effort into writing out 'okay' or 'you' in a conversation, then I simply shan't put any effort in continuing the conversation.

[LeoSylvain]

As I am reading the title of this topic. How to START a conversation.  The content is how to CONTINUE a converstation. How to communicate ?

Now I realise that in SL some people don't like chating or don't like talking. When you start a converstation it is like you disturbe. Some are polite and say  or explain they don't want to talk 'I am busy' I am with a friend etc.. But some simple don't reply or worst and this is my hate are like machine. You don't know if you are talking with real human or with a script. The answer is kind of automatic.

How do I know if I am talking with a real human. Each human is different. You have different reaction or answer. If I receive preformated answer I am feeling it is not human. I like unique answer and this is a sign that the people who is using a keyboard is real.

It is much more simple to be direct and say 'I don't want to talk'. I realise that many people are busy or are not here in SL to talk.

 

Edited November 12, 2019 by LeoSylvain

[Emma Krokus]

16 hours ago, Orwar said:

   Well, if someone can't put the effort into writing out 'okay' or 'you' in a conversation, then I simply shan't put any effort in continuing the conversation.

Guilty! I do "ok" instead of "Okay". I also miss out capitals, most punctuation and use some common abbreviations (afk, brb, ok, ty, wb).

Although, as you can hopefully see above, I am entirely capable of writing "properly" in what is actually not even my first language.

 

Am I not making an effort in writing to you though? No!

My effort goes into speed of communication. I am not a touch typist and I hate making people wait for my response. 

 

My priorities are speed, clarity and only then writing "properly" .

 

Emma

 

But I do admit to an irrational hatred of "u" for "you"!

 

 

 

 

 

Edited November 12, 2019 by Emma Krokus
verbiage, disclosure

[Orwar]

2 minutes ago, Emma Krokus said:

Although, as you can hopefully see above, I am entirely capable of writing "properly" in what is actually not even my first language.

Am I not making an effort in writing to you though? No!

My effort goes into speed of communication. I am not a touch typist and I hate making people wait for my response.

My priorities are speed, clarity and only then writing "properly" .

   I rarely question a person's ability to write out 'okay'; I reckon it's safe to assume that a person who were capable enough to get onto SL in the first place is able to do so. But I don't judge people from what they claim to be capable of, or what I reckon they're capable of, but rather from what they show me. Abbreviating typing and being careless with capitalisation and grammar suggests that one is lazy rather than dumb (although some people are that dumb, and simply unworthy of my time and attention). And sure, I get that there are people who have valid reasons or difficulties, such as dyslexia, but if that's a problem for you then you should just be upfront with it.

   Not all communication must always be formal and proper, but when you're speaking to someone for the first time it's better, in my mind, to take the time and effort rather than being expedient. If someone is in too much of a rush to communicate with me properly, then I'd rather they just didn't, and save it for sometime when you do have the time; I'm not available at all times, and if I'm to engage in conversation then I'd rather give that my full attention, and expect the other party to do likewise.

   Besides, I'm not a very 'chatty' person. I don't enjoy small talk, I find it pointless. If I have nothing that I think interesting or relevant to say on the topic at hand, I'd rather just be quiet - and I get annoyed with people who are inclined to talk just for the sake of talking. And if you do have something interesting or relevant to say, then it's best to make sure that it is conveyed in the best manner possible.

   But that's just me. People are allowed to be different.

[Seicher Rae]

I am not a fan of textspeak or, even worse, leet. If that is used as a start to a conversation with me then chances are it is going to be a mighty short conversation. I also don't think that a bloody IM requires the same degree of formality as a doctoral thesis.

Edited November 12, 2019 by Seicher Rae

[Emma Krokus]

32 minutes ago, Orwar said:

   I rarely question a person's ability to write out 'okay'; I reckon it's safe to assume that a person who were capable enough to get onto SL in the first place is able to do so. But I don't judge people from what they claim to be capable of, or what I reckon they're capable of, but rather from what they show me. Abbreviating typing and being careless with capitalisation and grammar suggests that one is lazy rather than dumb (although some people are that dumb, and simply unworthy of my time and attention). And sure, I get that there are people who have valid reasons or difficulties, such as dyslexia, but if that's a problem for you then you should just be upfront with it.

   Not all communication must always be formal and proper, but when you're speaking to someone for the first time it's better, in my mind, to take the time and effort rather than being expedient. If someone is in too much of a rush to communicate with me properly, then I'd rather they just didn't, and save it for sometime when you do have the time; I'm not available at all times, and if I'm to engage in conversation then I'd rather give that my full attention, and expect the other party to do likewise.

   Besides, I'm not a very 'chatty' person. I don't enjoy small talk, I find it pointless. If I have nothing that I think interesting or relevant to say on the topic at hand, I'd rather just be quiet - and I get annoyed with people who are inclined to talk just for the sake of talking. And if you do have something interesting or relevant to say, then it's best to make sure that it is conveyed in the best manner possible.

   But that's just me. People are allowed to be different.

Thank you!

It's good to know your point of view - and you have explained it very clearly.

We do have different priorities and likes, and your earlier post now makes perfect sense to me.

On reflection, when I do initiate conversations, I frequently write "properly", then relax into "laziness" as I get to know people better.

Emma

 

[Seicher Rae]

22 hours ago, Eric Castanea said:

I personally see nothing wrong with "small talk". When I'm out and about in RL, I always say hello to people, make a polite inquiry about how a person's day is going, etc. After a while, when that person sees me, they seem remember that simple courtesy and politeness. They become happy to see me.

I don't see why it should be different in SL.

I don't understand why anyone would be against it. Are you really so important that you don't have time to exchange a few pleasantries?

I understand this, and from reading various threads about why some people say "hi" to random strangers I have tried to loosen up my initial reaction, which was often puzzled annoyance. It wasn't because I felt I was too important to exchange pleasantries. It was because I'm usually busy or from experience that those random hellos from male avatars usually are a prelude to "wanna have slex?" The other reason I might not respond to some random hello is that since I'm busy I just don't pay attention to local chat or IM since I'm not expecting to talk to someone.