Starting a conversation with someone new

[clone00345]

On 11/8/2019 at 12:29 PM, BraveHot said:

One thing we do agree on: If you ask someone how they are, you should probably be prepared to get an honest answer

I just read a "how are you" as hi or hello. 

In USA they ask all the time but they don't want to hear your honest answer, its just a pleasantry like hello. You are expected to reply "I am good thank you, how are you?" I personally ignore the question and just say hi or hello in reply.

[Alyona Su]

1 hour ago, Seicher Rae said:

I understand this, and from reading various threads about why some people say "hi" to random strangers [...]

There are four types of communication prose in written or verbal forms: Formal, semi-formal, casual, and intimate. "Formal" is when you speak to strangers or others you respect highly, semi-formal is how you would talk to co-workers or your boss or casual acquaintance. Casual is the prose we use when speaking to family or friends, and intimate is very close friends, lovers, etc.
The first-word greeting of "Hi" is a casual (informal) prose, whereas, with strangers, we tend to stay more professional or semi-professional with a full "Hello." Perhaps it is this difference that those expressing displeasure or annoyance to an initial greeting of "Hi" are feeling, and not realizing this is the reason why. I know these differences (communications is my RL job), and though I may eye-roll it, it doesn't bother me otherwise. It's the "how are you" bit that I love to plonk: If you ask me that I will answer and if not truthfully, then in a way to will make you either disdain or laugh-at me!
Rather than "how are you?" I may ask "How's business?" or "How are things...?", as that is more of a truthful curiosity to me than your actual health (unless you are a close friend, etc.)

[Seicher Rae]

I've just been mansplained. Uh... thanks?

I love the smell of pedantic in the morning.

Edited November 12, 2019 by Seicher Rae

[Maitimo]

Back to the abbreviations thing, I use those much more than I should, because it's easier to type them with one hand. I rarely capitalise names in chat for the same reason. However I am aware that 'k' for 'okay' is very terse and comes across as being annoyed or disgruntled so I avoid that one and use ok instead. 'kk' is already the same length as 'ok' so I presume its used because it has a subtly different meaning, or expresses a different mood. But since I'm an old man and not hip to what kids are saying nowadays, I have no idea what the difference is.

 

 

[BelindaN]

On 11/12/2019 at 3:40 PM, Seicher Rae said:

I've just been mansplained. Uh... thanks?

I love the smell of pedantic in the morning.

/me coughs.....

Pedantry surely?.......runs for cover......😊

[Seicher Rae]

Just now, BelindaN said:

/me coughs.....

Pedantry surely?.......runs for cover......😊

Bwahahahaha. The word selection was done intentionally, I assure you.

[Zzevir]

How about like this:

" Sorry to start with this banality but a conversation must tart somehow. 

So Hi! I saw you across the sim  and I liked your avatar look and I checked out your profil and I see that you have x.y palce in your profile. And I heard a few thing about it but l I never was there  and I was thinking if you have some time you could show me around or just tell me a bit more about the place." 

 

or alternatively

'Hi!    

.

.

.

.

.

xex?"

 

[Lureo]

Starting conversation with someone new my experience tonight., I had the idea to go to Frantz because this place will close soon and I thought It would be a good idea to meet new people and why not to have friends.

 

Fist I see someone, read the profile  that is telling something about humor. Good I think I have humor and I start talking first. After few lines, I try my first joke. She said that I am young. I said that in 1 day is like 1 month and as I was 2 years old and she was 9 years I said. She could be my grandma. And then reply that I am stupid. and stop. --> maybe not the right person for such kind of humor.  Btw I wish to have a mom or grandma on sl someone to teach me how to do etc...

 

second conversation

- Hi

...

- Hello

 

- "a little better, but! still needs work"

- I thought that she reply to the wrong IM but actually it was for me. We continue to talk and she explain me that I didn't start the conversation correctly. This is exactly the subject of this forum. I say that I always start conversation with hi or hello etc... We talk but it was like if I was in a job interview and I miss the start and try to correct the interview but at the end  it was a total disaster.

 

I never thought that just talking with someone could be so challenging. I must to say that sometimes I am a little reactive or provocative on purpose . Then this second convesation was not a success.

 

number 3 someone say hi .. but the conversation stop  after 3 lines.

 

 

My conclusion. Some people have huge expectation on conversation. For me it is just simple and must be pleasant for all. But I realised that that STARTING A CONVERSATION COULD BE CHALLENGING.

 

So I agree with the first reation.

 

[Maitimo]

In my experience, the best conversations happen when you include in your initial IM the reason for opening the conversation in the first place.

"Hi! I see you have X place in your picks, I love that place too!"

Or "Hi! I see from your profile that you're into rock music, what clubs do you recommend?"

If your sole reason for IMing someone is because you think they look hot, say WHY they look hot to you... "Hi! I love that colour hair, it looks great on you! Where's it from?"

Don't stop at the "Hi!" Make a comment, ask a question, and make sure it's a SL-related question, not a RL-related one.

[Seicher Rae]

Yesterday, when at a shopping sim, minding my own business and getting annoyed by the avatars that were running here and there through everyone and by someone who had on an annoying SIGH voice thing, I noticed an interesting avatar who was also just minding her own business. She was kind of a neko, but had mechanical arms and legs with like skeleton hands and feet, and well... it all looked pretty unique. So, I IM'ed her. I said something like, "Hi. Your avatar is wonderful, and I sure didn't expect the front when I cammed around..." (the front was like open intestines, but surprisingly not that gross). She laughed in reply and said thank you, and I learned that she hadn't been inworld since Halloween and was shopping to try on demos. We did a little chit chatting and went about our shopping. Later she IM'ed me about something on my profile. It was all easy, sincere, to the point. I'm assuming we could have continued the conversation on had either of us wanted to. Again, it ain't rocket science even though it feels like it sometimes.

AND... I'm an introvert!

Edited November 15, 2019 by Seicher Rae

[Eggy UwU]

4 hours ago, Seicher Rae said:

Yesterday, when at a shopping sim, minding my own business and getting annoyed by the avatars that were running here and there through everyone and by someone who had on an annoying SIGH voice thing, I noticed an interesting avatar who was also just minding her own business. She was kind of a neko, but had mechanical arms and legs with like skeleton hands and feet, and well... it all looked pretty unique. So, I IM'ed her. I said something like, "Hi. Your avatar is wonderful, and I sure didn't expect the front when I cammed around..." (the front was like open intestines, but surprisingly not that gross). She laughed in reply and said thank you, and I learned that she hadn't been inworld since Halloween and was shopping to try on demos. We did a little chit chatting and went about our shopping. Later she IM'ed me about something on my profile. It was all easy, sincere, to the point. I'm assuming we could have continued the conversation on had either of us wanted to. Again, it ain't rocket science even though it feels like it sometimes.

AND... I'm an introvert!

Tbh, unique looking avatars always catch my eye too. Kudos for complimenting someone and being an introvert.~ <3

[Lureo]

On 11/12/2019 at 3:38 PM, clone00345 said:

In USA they ask all the time but they don't want to hear your honest answer, its just a pleasantry like hello. You are expected to reply "I am good thank you, how are you?" I personally ignore the question and just say hi or hello in reply.

I hate the question "how are you" and sometimes I reply I am bad or I am not very well and sometimes I detail a little bit more. And I know that it is a reason why people don't want to talk with me because for me it is like a role play and I am not playing right.

If you say I am not good Sometime you have answer - why

But you never get why you are good. This world is not logic. You can say I am good because the sun shine and everybody is nice with me smile

[JackieTeal]

Just like in RL, when holding a conversation with someone body language can also be a factor.  I met a guy in SL the other day, and his conversation was okay - but his animation made me feel really intimidated. All the while we were talking he kept pacing round me with his head tilted to one side, eyeing me up and down.  It felt a lot like I had met a hungry wolf who was about to devour me, but before he pounced was just taking a moment to size me up to work out the best angle of attack! When the guy asked if I wanted to hang out with him, I quickly made my excuses and left! 😨

Edited November 16, 2019 by JackieTeal

[pandorabellatrix]

Honestly, I don't have anything against people who start with "hi how are you", I am shy person it's hard for me to make friends and I understand those who are that way too, so I think all people who pretend to make friends in sl but have the line "say hi and I will ignore you" on their profiles, then they will visit so maaany sims without getting any im nor friends.

For me what really counts is the second line, what you say after you say hello, it's the key to catch the attention of someone or discover what's in common with him/her.
I will say I've read and known about so many people complains about how hard is to make friends in sl, because almost everyone in sl seem to be roleplaying like dolls in the store window, just standing around waiting for others to "choose them". That's pathethic. And SL terms and conditions do not specify that guys are the only ones who have to make the first contact lol, girls can do that too, I do it sometimes, despite of my shyness, because I don't feel like a "diva" or something like that.

Words hurt but I just say the truth. And a last tip: you may try talking about rp sims with that newbie, they are new so most of the time they don't know what they'd like to do in sl, just don't get them into that weird rp that starts with B... please! lol
Good Luck ^^

[Asadora Summers]

I'm introverted and normally don't speak unless I'm spoken too; however, if someone IMs me to tell me I haven't rezzed for them that usually inspires me to strike up a conversation with them. If someone IMs me and tells me they like what I'm wearing I'll gladly tell them where I got it and for how much. Whenever I see a artistically well done avatar I'll IM them and give them a compliment with the add-on of my intention is not to flirt with them. That usually starts a conversation of 'Why not? You can flirt with me. I don't mind.' Which then I find myself at a loss for words because it truly wasn't the intention of the conversation I wanted to have. 
Over the last years, I've found that starting a conversation about Bloodlines is often a way to get into a conversation and if that person doesn't like Bloodlines either, then it too inspires me to continue to speak with them to find out what they do like. 

Talking with oldies is a lot easier than newer residents, because oldies we can talk about the old days and complain about stuff. With the newer residents, it's often difficult because they just do not know a lot about stuff and often you end up being their mentor... which is fine... until they drop you the second they become 'cool'. 

I suppose, I'll speak with anyone but if it's down to me starting a conversation, the outlook isn't positive.