Hidden

[Kellina Wandsworth]

Is there anyway to tell if someone has made it so that you cannot see when they were on?

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

On the Contacts list, there should be 6 columns on the right side. The 1st and 4th columns have the "Eye" on top and check boxes.  The 4th column shows faded check boxes and if there's no check mark in the box under their name, it won't notify you when they log in.  Also sometimes the viewer might mess up and tick or untick the boxes.

Edit: This is for the Singularity Viewer. Other clients may vary.

Edited August 12, 2019 by Kimmi Zehetbauer
Clear things.

[Kellina Wandsworth]

I know how to hid from people what Im trying to figure out is if there is a way to no if someone is hiding from you.

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

Below I posted a sample contact list.  Hope that helps. The box with the arrow pointing to it is someone that is hiding.

 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Kimmi Zehetbauer
It's late.

[Alwin Alcott]

28 minutes ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

The box with the arrow pointing to it is someone that is hiding.

not all viewers show that.
Some, like Firestorm, only show your own choice to be visible or not.

There are a lot of scripted items / scripts available at mp and inworld to track online status.

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

1 minute ago, Alwin Alcott said:

not all viewers show that.
Some, like Firestorm, only show your own choice to be visible or not.

There are a lot of scripted items / scripts available at mp and inworld to track online status.

Thanks for the heads up, I use Singularity most of the time.

[Kia Kiyori]

The simple answer is to log into your account page and look on the left hand side - it will show you which of your friends are currently online.

If their name is displayed in bold lettering, then they're online.

If they're not showing up in your friend's list inworld, then they don't want you knowing they're online, but haven't quite got the nerve to delete you from their friends list.

[Alwin Alcott]

just addition
it's one of the first causes of many friendship drama's  

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

6 minutes ago, AnyaJurelle said:

If they're not showing up in your friend's list inworld, then they don't want you knowing they're online, but haven't quite got the nerve to delete you from their friends list.

And the ones that are "hiding" I simply nuke 'em from my list, although I did confront one and got "oh I didn't block you." 

[Jerilynn Lemon]

It was neglected to mention that if you and your friend are members of a group, your presence would still show up as "online" in their respective group list. Some larger, well known groups turn that feature off but the majority of groups don't.

[Kia Kiyori]

9 minutes ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

And the ones that are "hiding" I simply nuke 'em from my list, although I did confront one and got "oh I didn't block you." 

It's better for people to just be honest, tell the person they're deleting them and explain why. Short term pain, long term gain but I guess few have that kind of intestinal fortitude.

[Alwin Alcott]

18 minutes ago, Jerilynn Lemon said:

Some larger, well known groups turn that feature off

i'm not sure but think you can only hide it for non members
and the membership list is simply not available at all in large groups

[BelindaN]

I've always kept my dashboard open to scope who's on, although it doesn't auto refresh. When I'm in world as one of my alts, it's also handy to see who's around. 

[Kia Kiyori]

3 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

i'm not sure but think you can only hide it for non members
and the membership list is simply not available at all in large groups

Correct - you can only hide your status from non-group members by going into the relevant group tab, then un-tick the "show in my profile" box down the bottom. 

[Raevyn Addams]

5 hours ago, Kellina Wandsworth said:

Is there anyway to tell if someone has made it so that you cannot see when they were on?

Semantics perhaps but you said when not if, so I'll take this as past tense.

I had a friend tell me recently that they hadn't been online in weeks. I knew that wasn't right; I had been logging in just as they were logging out not that long ago. To make sure I wasn't going mad I checked one of the groups we are both members of (and lists names of course) and saw their last online date was actually a few days ago. So yes, in the same manner you can check to see if someone is online and hiding from you, you can also see if they were online last when they say that they weren't.

And yes, it's a great reason why a lot of relationships, be it platonic or otherwise, don't last.

[BelindaN]

Everything moves fast in world and people move on equally fast. My longest lasting friendships are those which remain very loose and informal.

The thing is, my time in world is finite, and also unpredictable. So each time I add a friend, there's proportionally less time to give everywhere else.

Some people struggle with that and it may cause drifting apart. *shrugs*

That's SL.

[Beth Macbain]

I "hide" from people all the time. Sometimes I just wish to not be disturbed. Why do some find that so offensive? Yes, I use the auto-respond sometimes, too, but then I feel guilty if someone does IM me and I don't answer. It's just easier to hide everyone on my list for a little while... it doesn't mean I don't have the nerve to defriend them or anything of the sort. Making that assumption is dangerous and you may well lose very good friends over it. 

No one is obligated to let anyone know when they're in SL, same in RL when I'm not obligated to tell anyone where I am all the time, nor do I have to answer a phone call or a text immediately. 

If it bothers you so much and you believe someone is hiding from you, instead of making assumptions be an adult and communicate your concerns to them. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I "hide" from people all the time. Sometimes I just wish to not be disturbed. Why do some find that so offensive? Yes, I use the auto-respond sometimes, too, but then I feel guilty if someone does IM me and I don't answer. It's just easier to hide everyone on my list for a little while... it doesn't mean I don't have the nerve to defriend them or anything of the sort. Making that assumption is dangerous and you may well lose very good friends over it. 

No one is obligated to let anyone know when they're in SL, same in RL when I'm not obligated to tell anyone where I am all the time, nor do I have to answer a phone call or a text immediately. 

If it bothers you so much and you believe someone is hiding from you, instead of making assumptions be an adult and communicate your concerns to them. 

I'm with Beth on this one. By default, I'm hidden from most people. You don't need to know that I'm on, every time I'm on. It's intrusive.

I prefer not to live in a panopticon in RL, thank you very much, and SL is no different.

[Madelaine McMasters]

5 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

i'm not sure but think you can only hide it for non members

And that's why you can never have enough spyglasses groups!

 

7 hours ago, Kellina Wandsworth said:

Is there anyway to tell if someone has made it so that you cannot see when they were on?

Just ask me?

 

10 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

By default, I'm hidden from most people.

I'm not hidden, I'm transparent... and right behind you.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

1 minute ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

I'm not hidden, I'm transparent... and right behind you.

Fortunately, the sudden change in room temperature usually alerts me to your presence.

[Lindal Kidd]

It's not the room that's getting warmer, Scylla...it's you!

[Zeta Vandyke]

34 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said:

I "hide" from people all the time. Sometimes I just wish to not be disturbed. Why do some find that so offensive? Yes, I use the auto-respond sometimes, too, but then I feel guilty if someone does IM me and I don't answer. It's just easier to hide everyone on my list for a little while... it doesn't mean I don't have the nerve to defriend them or anything of the sort. Making that assumption is dangerous and you may well lose very good friends over it. 

No one is obligated to let anyone know when they're in SL, same in RL when I'm not obligated to tell anyone where I am all the time, nor do I have to answer a phone call or a text immediately. 

If it bothers you so much and you believe someone is hiding from you, instead of making assumptions be an adult and communicate your concerns to them. 

I have my auto reply on 100% of the time. I would do the "hide on occasion" thing, but with my complete lack of order in my head, I would most definitely forget to switch it back on and end up wondering why no one never contacts me.

The auto reply also helps with unwanted contact by random people that you can't really hide from. And it allows me to not respond if I really don't have time, or sometimes just don't want to talk in general or that person (though that rarely happens). 

Like you say, why would it be offensive if someone at that moment does not feel like talking? Its common in real life that you have a level of privacy and control, then why is it weird or even offensive in SL?

[Resi Pfeffer]

1 minute ago, Zeta Vandyke said:

I have my auto reply on 100% of the time... Like you say, why would it be offensive if someone at that moment does not feel like talking?

People already get offended by the auto reply itself, i had to find out. Doesnt matter if its written in a friendly way like: "Hello, im currently AFK or lost in the abyss of my inventory. As soon as i see your message i will respond, i promise."

Well, at least its good to know who can be erased from the friend list, if they cant even wait for a while... 

[usedcars]

send the person that is hiding an IM

[Selene Gregoire]

8 hours ago, AnyaJurelle said:

It's better for people to just be honest, tell the person they're deleting them and explain why. Short term pain, long term gain but I guess few have that kind of intestinal fortitude.

Not everyone hides their online status because they want to remove someone. Sometimes we just need peace and quiet or not to be disturbed while working.

Or maybe, just maybe, we don't feel up to dealing with people that drain us through no fault of ours or theirs for a while. Like today for me. Last night I had to take Dmitri to the hospital because his heart has been beating erratically for 4 days.

What I'm trying to say is sometimes there are good reasons to not show your online status even to those you may consider close friends in SL. Some days are just not good days.