Jump to content

Relax buddy, I’m not looking at your girlfriend!

davidventer

By davidventer,
in General Discussion Forum

 Share
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 824 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Recommended Posts

Kalegthepsionicist

Kalegthepsionicist

Posted
Posted (edited)

I never hide my look at, its a part of communication, I can easy point something to other. or let them know I give attention to them.

and I just found voice is really good, you can continue walk without need to pause to reply. I talk with someone today and she prefer to use voice, I think I should have a mic

Edited by Kalegthepsionicist
Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Replies 114
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

davidventer
davidventer

Okay, so, funny story…   Due to the performance issues of the Firestorm viewer, I’ve been using the official Second Life viewer a lot lately. I was recently at a club and some girl In fron

Ayeleeon
Ayeleeon

I really don't get it. It doesn't bother me a bit if some guy looks at my girlfriend, I trust her not to run off and leave me just because some other guy thinks she is pretty.

Amina Sopwith
Amina Sopwith

This happens to me in RL. Less as I've got older but as a teenager, it happened ALL THE TIME. Basically, I'm off in my own world most of the time (some people believe I am a maladaptive daydreame

Posted Images

Maryanne Solo

Maryanne Solo

Posted
Posted

These cross hair threads really rocked me mentally as I can't recall seeing mine for about a year? 😳😭
So I went looking... looking... looking... and found them! 9_9
They're in RL focussed in the freezer where the choccie and ice-cream goes! 
W0.0T! \0/
Thank goodness for that!

  • Like 1
  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Echelon Alcott

Echelon Alcott

Posted
Posted

Having seen this topic surface in the forums so many times, I got curious to better understand the reason behind it. So this is what I found after perusing the internet for a bit.

"Its because when you stare at another person, that person doesn't know what you are thinking about him/her. He/she becomes anxious as to whether what you are thinking is bad or unacceptable about him/her. But lets say you tell the reason directly to him/her as to why you stared, that will make his/her uncomfortability (sic) lesser or even disappear (depending on the reason of course!). This is the same uncomfortability (sic) when there is silence between 2 people who sit opposite to each other not talking at all (but perhaps want to talk). Sharing thoughts ease both of them & will let them know either of them is harmless." This aligns with David's experience; after they started talking and clarified that there was no threat, their defensiveness died down.

"Take a step back and think about WHY you feel uncomfortable. As human beings we are still animals after all and as animals we are built to assess threats in various environments. So just like a Zebra is gonna be a little spooked if it sees lions in the distance, you're gonna feel uncomfortable if you walk into a room with strangers and they focus on you.

Now if you "fixed this problem" and suddenly could walk into any room and be 100% comfortable no matter who looked at you imagine the problem it would cause. Imagine if you walked into an unfriendly bar and didn't notice that the creepy guys in the corner were checking you out funny? Imagine if you were in front of an interview panel and you didn't notice that the one interviewer is giving you an evil eye? Imagine if you had toilet paper on your shoe as you walked out of a mall bathroom and didn't notice that the lady walking with her child looked at you funny? Starting to get the weird logic?

You feel uncomfortable because your brain is assessing threat levels and that's totally normal. So noticing the creepy guys in the bar will make you avoid them, the moody interviewer will make you take more care with your answers and the lady in the mall will make you look down and pull the toilet paper off your shoe."

It might be a losing battle to fight our preservation instincts. The tools we have at our disposal are communication - which some people are terrible at - or avoid triggering the situation to begin with - by disabling crosshairs. Just my 2 cents.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Amanda Crisp

Amanda Crisp

Posted
Posted
20 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

We had a giant train wreck of a thread a short while ago on this very subject, so generally I don't want to rehash it.

I have begun to wonder, though, if people getting upset at being "looked at" (or having their gf looked at) aren't engaged in something a little bit like RP. Not consciously or deliberately, but reacting in an overly dramatic way because it feels "immersive" and "real." Like a scene from a bad teen movie, or Taxi Driver. And maybe some men (and doubtless some women) think it makes them look "gallant" and "protective" (and pretty damned possessive, too) to "defend the honour" of their partner?

Just idle thoughts. Anyway, I'm glad this worked out well for you! Nicely handled!

A sad offshoot of this is when SL women IM males whose target cursor lands on or near them and ask/order/demand that the cursor be moved “because my boyfriend is very jealous and will accuse me of cheating”.

I’m not sure what bothers me more; the “Property Rights” mindset of the boyfriend or the woman who enables him.

 

image.gif

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Scylla Rhiadra

Scylla Rhiadra

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said:

A sad offshoot of this is when SL women IM males whose target cursor lands on or near them and ask/order/demand that the cursor be moved “because my boyfriend is very jealous and will accuse me of cheating”.

I’m not sure what bothers me more; the “Property Rights” mindset of the boyfriend or the woman who enables him.

 

image.gif

Oh sure. They're both absurdities.

What I was getting at is that both are maybe sometimes a kind of pantomime -- acting out, consciously or unconsciously, a social convention that asserts that being "jealous" is somehow proof that you care for your partner. It's stupid, whoever does it.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Scylla Rhiadra

Scylla Rhiadra

Posted
Posted
22 minutes ago, Lucia Nightfire said:

Oh, but I did read it. You're on the same crusade.

The attitude towards the subject is very different here.

In the first instance, it was motivated and fueled by a kind of paranoia about "privacy rights" and unspecified (and ridiculous) "security risks."

The OP here, on the other hand, finds (like many others who've commented on this) the drama that this sometimes causes absurd and stupid, and thinks that this bit of social friction could be avoided.

Both arrive at the same conclusion, but by very different routes, and the tone is very different in each case.

  • Like 3
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Chris Corvinus

Chris Corvinus

Posted
Posted (edited)

Thats hilarious LOL. People are absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I have a 'look but dont touch' policy with my girl so....perv away with your crosshairs haha! I really only say something if youre actually in her box hitting her up to come to your place for "pictures" because youre a "photographer" and she should be totally naked (be more obvious, please).. In which case, I will troll you mercilessly for hours for my own amusement or until you block me. 😂

Edited by Chris Nova
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
  • Confused 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Leahndra

Leahndra

Posted
Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Chris Nova said:

I have a 'look but dont touch' policy with my girl so....

I have a "I am a big girl policy with my partner so ...' i can handle idiots very well all by myself and don't have to get him involved. It would be totally different if i would be harassed in RL of course. But in SL? I can block and derender just fine. 

 

Besides, i have look-at disabled. I am not interested to know who looks at me. Its humans nature to look and i look too :)

Edited by Leahndra
I forgot something .. as always :)
  • Like 2
  • Thanks 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
CaithLynnSayes

CaithLynnSayes

Posted
Posted
59 minutes ago, Chris Nova said:

Alot of people don't understand comedy and I find that far more tragically sad than David's crosshair situation. Jesus. 

Oh, was that supposed to be a joke? Go ahead and ruin it by explaining it, because apparently we did a collective r/whooosh here ;) 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Chris Corvinus

Chris Corvinus

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, CaithLynnSayes said:

How does one touch an avatar exactly?

 

(See what i mean by being detached from reality? :))

I can show you once I find my giant turkey leg slapper. Also, you can just bump into avatars. 

(Well, you as a human being sitting behind the computer doesn't physically touch the avatar. Your avatar touches the avatar. You control the avatar touching the other avatar so in a sense, you're touching an avatar so that means you are, in fact, touching an avatar in this reality and you're not at all detached from it. It makes more sense in VR.)
Link to comment
Share on other sites
norajulian

norajulian

Posted
Posted

I said it before and I’ll say it again. If we are in the same region, or even connecting regions, I have 103% cammed to you, checked out your avatar, and then went on camming to what I was looking for to begin with. 
 

why? Because I find it interesting to see how people express their virtual self. Also because I really can’t be bothered to walk around in SL. I double click tp or cam ALWAYS. 

  • Like 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites
SpiritSparrow Skydancer

SpiritSparrow Skydancer

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, norajulian said:

I said it before and I’ll say it again. If we are in the same region, or even connecting regions, I have 103% cammed to you, checked out your avatar, and then went on camming to what I was looking for to begin with. 
 

why? Because I find it interesting to see how people express their virtual self. Also because I really can’t be bothered to walk around in SL. I double click tp or cam ALWAYS. 

Exactly.,

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Eddy Vortex

Eddy Vortex

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Tarina Sewell said:

Why should you worry about some twit who’s insecurities makes them look um you know…. Silly but less pc  

Because I have better things to do than expending my energy on clicking the 'x' in IM boxes full of double down stupid sandwiches.

1*8xraf6eyaXh-myNXOXkqLA.jpeg

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
You are about to reply to a thread that has been inactive for 824 days.

Please take a moment to consider if this thread is worth bumping.

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...