Relax buddy, I’m not looking at your girlfriend!

[Ren Toxx]

I make a point of ignoring quite a bit of apparent creepiness (i.e. LookAt long fixed on me, even standing right in front of me at places and in ways clearly not accidental) because my overriding concern is to ‘do my part’ on not facilitating drama. I happen to look at others, too, so I’d have to be borderline mental to resent being looked at.

Even if & when it is leering, as ulterior IMs sometimes make clear, I still don’t feel threatened by it. When I’m at a public place my avatar is, almost by definition, what I intended to be visible; I honestly don’t see the rationale in resenting that someone does enjoy looking at it. Live and let live.

Besides, more often that not it’s actually useful. Second Life doesn’t transmit a lot of body language & non-verbal cues (which I’d be a bit challenged reading, anyway), so every bit helps.

Edited January 31, 2022 by Ren Toxx

[Max Quirky]

What I do not understand is why people even have "show look at" enabled? Who cares whether someone is looking at you? Enabling the look at stuff just encourages paranoia.

[Cyber Vortex]

37 minutes ago, Kyle Blackwood said:

What I do not understand is why people even have "show look at" enabled? Who cares whether someone is looking at you? Enabling the look at stuff just encourages paranoia.

Imagine creating an avatar with the most expensive and fanciest bodies, skins, clothes, accessories to obviously outstand in the world as a unique avatar and then get mad at being looked at.

 

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

As silly as this topic seems (at least to me personally), it does raise some interesting questions regarding how people identify with their avatars and what impact that may have on the way in which the metaverse develops.  After all an avatar, by definition, is the representation of an individual, an extension of our physical selves into the virtual world they inhabit, and some will identify more closely with their avatars than others.

While the lookat crosshair is completely innocuous, the fact that someone else can choose to 'attach' one to your avatar and your only choice is to ignore it, either literally or by disabling the option to display them, is clearly a problem for some people and despite how silly that may seem to the rest of us I suspect the question of how the notion of "personal space" translates into virtual worlds and what constitutes an invasion of that space will be discussed at great length as new virtual worlds emerge.  Apparently it's already becoming an issue in Meta.

Mother, 43, has her avatar groped by three male characters in the online Metaverse

[Aiyumei]

2 minutes ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

Mother, 43, has her avatar groped by three male characters in the online Metaverse

Welcome to the internet, where everything is about cats and porn.

What is considered personal space in the digital world anyway? Are we suppose to have invisible force field preventing people from zooming at us while at crowded areas? If one makes an effort to look good and be unique they will be looked at, if that person doesn't enjoy it for god knows what reason there are 2 possible solutions. Don't look good or TP away and repeat the cycle.

Imagine being in your daily live and tell people passing you by not to look towards you... Not happening.

34 minutes ago, Anakin Debevec said:

Imagine creating an avatar with the most expensive and fanciest bodies, skins, clothes, accessories to obviously outstand in the world as a unique avatar and then get mad at being looked at.

Imagine creating a good looking avatar that's actually resembles accurate human being(plenty of threads around for that) even without spending an arm or a leg for it. Add in some facial expression to look lively and you will draw attention to yourself whether you like it or not.

Now if we throw in bunch of sexy clothing into the equation since most female outfits are oversexualized and no one goes to clubs with oversized hoodies and baggy pants, the amount of attention you'd get is plenty. I seriously don't understand why would anyone get mad for attracting attention to their self.
I've had very few cases when someone messaged me to stop looking at them and every time my response was that they look good.

[Theresa Tennyson]

1 hour ago, Anakin Debevec said:

I did find people are not chilled. Always rude, snarky. Everyone is so salty all the time. I don't understand what's the issue with SL residents.

Theresa Tennyson reads Anakin's profile and post history.

Theresa Tennyson goes, "mmmMMMHMHMH..." to herself.

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

1 hour ago, Aiyumei said:

What is considered personal space in the digital world anyway?

I'd imagine that, much like in the real world, the definition of "personal space" will vary based on who you ask.

1 hour ago, Aiyumei said:

Imagine being in your daily live and tell people passing you by not to look towards you... Not happening.

Imagine living in a world where "a friendly pat on the behind" is considered sexual assault.  Actually you don't have to imagine it since, over time, societies views on what is and isn't considered appropriate behaviour has evolved.  However, if you were to go back far enough in time and ask those who had to endure that sort of behaviour if they felt assaulted, there are probably at least some who would tell you that it was just "harmless" and "the way things are".

Just because virtual worlds in their infancy are lawless places in which we've learned to tolerate bad behaviour doesn't mean that they have to remain that way.

ETA:  Pestering women in the street to be outlawed

Quote

Draft legislation prepared by campaigners covers behaviour including intentionally pressing against someone on public transport, persistent sexual propositioning or cornering someone, making sexually explicit comments, leering at a person and cat-calling.

As ridiculous as it sounds it seems we may not have to imagine your example for much longer either if they decide to implement legislation like this.

Edited January 31, 2022 by Fluffy Sharkfin
Added link & quote.

[rasterscan]

[Arielle Popstar]

This thread reminds me of when I was 3 years old:

[Silent Mistwalker]

5 hours ago, Maitimo said:

To avoid the temptation of logging into something that causes them so much emotional stress. 

The Sims would be no different. They yell at you when you do something wrong just as much as humans do.

[Silent Mistwalker]

3 hours ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

As silly as this topic seems (at least to me personally), it does raise some interesting questions regarding how people identify with their avatars and what impact that may have on the way in which the metaverse develops.  After all an avatar, by definition, is the representation of an individual, an extension of our physical selves into the virtual world they inhabit, and some will identify more closely with their avatars than others.

While the lookat crosshair is completely innocuous, the fact that someone else can choose to 'attach' one to your avatar and your only choice is to ignore it, either literally or by disabling the option to display them, is clearly a problem for some people and despite how silly that may seem to the rest of us I suspect the question of how the notion of "personal space" translates into virtual worlds and what constitutes an invasion of that space will be discussed at great length as new virtual worlds emerge.  Apparently it's already becoming an issue in Meta.

Mother, 43, has her avatar groped by three male characters in the online Metaverse

Not even close to being the same thing. Please, don't go there. 

If looking at someone in SL is invading personal space wtf do people do when someone looks at them in real life?  Panic and call the effing police? Why are humans so effing stupid?

I need to stop watching and listening to the news. I'm starting to hate humans instead of being indifferent to them.

[Bree Giffen]

3 hours ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

While the lookat crosshair is completely innocuous, the fact that someone else can choose to 'attach' one to your avatar and your only choice is to ignore it, either literally or by disabling the option to display them, is clearly a problem for some people and despite how silly that may seem to the rest of us I suspect the question of how the notion of "personal space" translates into virtual worlds and what constitutes an invasion of that space will be discussed at great length as new virtual worlds emerge.  Apparently it's already becoming an issue in Meta.

Mother, 43, has her avatar groped by three male characters in the online Metaverse

VR is a double-edged sword. It makes you feel inside the world rather than looking at it through your monitor but it opens you up to a much more palpable feeling of violation. I don't think you can imagine it if you haven't tried VR. You really would need a safe space to feel safe.

As far as the look-at feature in SL it's never been a big deal for me. Don't use it and I always click focus on avatars to make them rez faster. 

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

6 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

Not even close to being the same thing. Please, don't go there.

I'm not suggesting that the two things are in any way comparable.  I am however curious as to why this particular topic keeps coming up and the underlying cause for peoples seemingly extreme reactions to something as harmless as a crosshair.

12 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

If looking at someone in SL is invading personal space wtf do people do when someone looks at them in real life?  Panic and call the effing police? Why are humans so effing stupid?

Apparently, according to the article in the last link I posted, that's exactly what some people think you should be able to do.

14 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I need to stop watching and listening to the news. I'm starting to hate humans instead of being indifferent to them.

If only they were so easy to avoid, sadly they seem to spring up wherever you go.

[Myntz Mysterious]

To funny! When I find someone beacon locked on to me I'll send them an IM at times. Specially if its locked onto my crotch, then I will most likely send them a sarcastic IM. 😁

You can tell how they are looking based on the color of the beacon. One color is mouse look, one is default resting position, and I think the 3rd is the third person camera mode? Not 100% sure since I'm currently at work...

[Fluffy Sharkfin]

5 minutes ago, Bree Giffen said:

VR is a double-edged sword. It makes you feel inside the world rather than looking at it through your monitor but it opens you up to a much more palpable feeling of violation. I don't think you can imagine it if you haven't tried VR. You really would need a safe space to feel safe.

As far as the look-at feature in SL it's never been a big deal for me. Don't use it and I always click focus on avatars to make them rez faster. 

My initial reaction to reading the article in my post was quite cynical but when I considered it from a broader perspective and took into consideration the immersive nature of virtual reality and the possibility of survivors of abuse or assault who suffer from PTSD being subjected to similar "attacks" it occurred to me that there may be some valid concerns about the nature of personal boundaries in the metaverse.

[Orwar]

26 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

I'm starting to hate humans instead of being indifferent to them.

[Silent Mistwalker]

15 minutes ago, Orwar said:

 

[Lucia Nightfire]

5 hours ago, Anakin Debevec said:

I did find people are not chilled. Always rude, snarky. Everyone is so salty all the time. I don't understand what's the issue with SL residents.

Is SL the only MMO/social media outlet you've ever used?

People are rude/snarky everywhere on the internet and it's only getting worse each year.

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

On 1/29/2022 at 1:11 PM, Amina Sopwith said:

This happens to me in RL. Less as I've got older but as a teenager, it happened ALL THE TIME.

Basically, I'm off in my own world most of the time (some people believe I am a maladaptive daydreamer....I've no official diagnosis but I can believe it). As a kid, there were several occasions where I had no idea where my eyes were resting, since I wasn't actually taking in whatever they were looking at, and suddenly there'd be an angry face in my field of vision demanding to know why I was staring at her (it was always a her. Men just tended to wave their hands in front of my face or hit on me).

One of the patrons in our RL bar had that happened when he was in his early 20s. He was telling his story on how he met his longtime partner.  He was sitting in the park zoning out and didn't realize he was staring at guy on the bench across from him.  When the guy bought it up he thought he was going to get pounced on. Instead something clicked and they started chatting.

But in SL, it is weird to get in a huff since it was a cartoon being looked at.

[Kimmi Zehetbauer]

6 hours ago, Fluffy Sharkfin said:

As silly as this topic seems (at least to me personally), it does raise some interesting questions regarding how people identify with their avatars and what impact that may have on the way in which the metaverse develops.  After all an avatar, by definition, is the representation of an individual, an extension of our physical selves into the virtual world they inhabit, and some will identify more closely with their avatars than others.

While the lookat crosshair is completely innocuous, the fact that someone else can choose to 'attach' one to your avatar and your only choice is to ignore it, either literally or by disabling the option to display them, is clearly a problem for some people and despite how silly that may seem to the rest of us I suspect the question of how the notion of "personal space" translates into virtual worlds and what constitutes an invasion of that space will be discussed at great length as new virtual worlds emerge.  Apparently it's already becoming an issue in Meta.

Mother, 43, has her avatar groped by three male characters in the online Metaverse

What's funny the virtual world mentioned only offers half-a-tars aka Zuck-a-tar.

[Nick0678]

1 hour ago, Lucia Nightfire said:

Is SL the only MMO/social media outlet you've ever used?

People are rude/snarky everywhere on the internet and it's only getting worse each year.

I think most people are very friendly and they only get triggered when you tell them NO (just like IRL), so you need to keep on until they get used to it. (It's a very good method to help them control anger issues etc.)

 

[davidventer]

7 hours ago, Kyle Blackwood said:

What I do not understand is why people even have "show look at" enabled? Who cares whether someone is looking at you? Enabling the look at stuff just encourages paranoia.

This ^^ … Like, why is it even an option?!

[Rowan Amore]

Why not?  I actually went amd turned mine on so everyone could see what I was looking at today.  I'll probably continue doing so just to see if anyone says anything.  When or if they do, I'll either ignore them completely or launch into some long rant back about why they have them on if it bothers them so much.  It's been a bit boring in SL the last few weeks.

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

10 hours ago, Eddy Vortex said:

Because I have better things to do than expending my energy on clicking the 'x' in IM boxes full of double down stupid sandwiches.

Uh ok… smh

[SpiritSparrow Skydancer]

4 hours ago, Kimmi Zehetbauer said:

 

But in SL, it is weird to get in a huff since it was a cartoon being looked at.

The problem is many can not disassociate themselves from their avatars and they are so narcissistic that any negative interactions or threats perceived to their avatar gets people severely butt hurt.

Btw the legitimacy of mesh avatars and the super realistic illustrations of such go way beyond cartoon and therefore people take their avatars way to serious. 

Sometimes the person is actually clicking on the avatar to “inspect” them. If an avatars shoes appeal to me you betcha I am inspecting you/them. 
 

 

 

Edited January 31, 2022 by Tarina Sewell