Ayashe Ninetails Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 29 minutes ago, LunaRavencroft said: Seriously, why guys insist on voice verification when there's generally not a chance of EVER meeting someone from SL in RL, is beyond me. Like, boy, chill, you're not going to prove or intimidate anything or anyone. Least of all, by raising your voice at me. I suggest you calm down, before I block and report you for privacy invasion. Honestly, know what I would do if I had the patience (which I don't these days)? I'd go ahead and hop on voice. Guzzle a whole can of soda or beer first. Shamelessly burp my way through that conversation. Better yet, invest in some cheap audio software to add sound effects to Discord/Skype voice chat, like Soundpad (it's $4.99 on Steam). Nuff said with that one. Go nuts. Knowing me, I'd play that reggae airhorn after every sentence mixed in with some DJ drops for fun. "Breakin' off another exclusive miiix!" *airhorn* Oh, and don't forget voice changers that also work with Discord. You can go full Alvin and the Chipmunks with that. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffee Pancake Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 You don't need voice changers to change your voice. Just a patience and practice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 2 hours ago, Persephone Emerald said: Just to be clear, Second Life is not Real Life, so one's social behavior in this virtual world does not have to be the same as it would be in one's Real Life world. There are physical and social reasons for the S L U T - shaming, double-standards of RL sexual moral codes. In historical RL women were often treated as chattel and were treated as "damaged goods" if they'd had sex either willingly or not with someone other than their husband. In RL the paternity of a child might be suspect if the mother had been known to have sex with more than one man. In RL there are sexually transmitted infections. In RL there is a risk of violence when a woman lets down her guard with a man. In RL there is risk to a woman's social reputation if it's rummored that she's had sex with multiple men (or women). There's not the same risk for a man if it's rumored that he's had sex with multiple women (or in some countries if he's had sex with multiple men). Second Life is not Real Life. It's a fantasy world, and as such there in no shame (in my opinion) to a woman having virtual sex with multiple men, women, furries, monsters or scripted objects. Virtual animals creeps me out, but it's still either an avatar or an object, so there's no real harm done to anyone. I don't know why we have to carry over outdated social and sexual mores into our virtual worlds. Totally true. I was responding to something that someone had said regarding RL. Their actual post was deleted, so all that is left of it is the one single line that I quoted to make my response to. So the whole thing was totally about RL only. I've had my own one-night stands here in SL, back in my early days when I was much wilder here - and I never once associated the sl*t term with that behavior whether it was regarding me or anyone else, regardless of gender. I only truly judge things like that in RL. As I mentioned, things have changed and if I was single in this day and age, my own sexual behaviors would probably be a bit more liberal than they were years ago. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 5 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said: You don't need voice changers to change your voice. Just a patience and practice. No no, I mean the ones that change it *completely* - the ones that can make you sound like an evil overlord, alien, autotuned singer, literally the Chipmunks, turn you into a robot, sound like super distorted police radios, add chorus and reverb and echo effects, and I remember hearing one on YouTube a loooong time ago that did a super cute Pikachu kind of voice, etc. There are some YouTubers and Twitch streamers who used to use voice changers while playing Among Us and it was way too funny. One mostly used an evil, dark overlord type voice - there are some that can be seriously scary, too. Basically, something like this (not the best voices here, but some decent ones mixed in): 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted March 25, 2022 Share Posted March 25, 2022 1 hour ago, BelindaN said: Do people really discuss their sex life like this???😉 Well I don't. Not even with my closest friends in RL. That part of my life is for me to know only. No exceptions. Oh hell yeah. My best friend and I used to discuss all sorts of nitty gritty details about our sex lives. Though to be truthful, she was much more active than I was, so most of the tales were hers........ but I did contribute to the conversation back in the day. Not too mention that our my sex life was quite tame compared to many of today's younguns (like under 40). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cunomar Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 12 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said: You might also be guilty of misreading a room. Nope , see i don't judge people over petty assumption to promote my sense of self righteousness . Someone shaming a girl for doing what she wants to me will earn that person a retort they won't like . I live by very simple principals of right and wrong , if its hurting nobody then good luck to you , if it is hurting someone then i'm going to step in to prevent it regardless of any potential consequence to me . Gossip mongers build undeserving reputations for others , typically because they are jealous of something . Always behind their back never to their face . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Love Zhaoying Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 18 hours ago, BelindaN said: Do people really discuss their sex life like this???😉 What about your love life? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LunaRavencroft Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 17 hours ago, Ayashe Ninetails said: Honestly, know what I would do if I had the patience (which I don't these days)? I'd go ahead and hop on voice. Guzzle a whole can of soda or beer first. Shamelessly burp my way through that conversation. Better yet, invest in some cheap audio software to add sound effects to Discord/Skype voice chat, like Soundpad (it's $4.99 on Steam). Nuff said with that one. Go nuts. Knowing me, I'd play that reggae airhorn after every sentence mixed in with some DJ drops for fun. "Breakin' off another exclusive miiix!" *airhorn* Oh, and don't forget voice changers that also work with Discord. You can go full Alvin and the Chipmunks with that. Lol Ayashe, that's great. I've got a voice changer, actually. But, I don't have the patience to actually use it. Blocking deals with the issue faster. Puts my anxiety at ease, as well. 17 hours ago, Drake1 Nightfire said: Because they think if you voice verify with them that someday they can convince you to voice with them during sexytime. I mean.. Unfortunately, Drake, you're not wrong. Of all the ones that ever tried, none succeeded. Some called me a b****, some this, some that, but, hey, just means they weren't worth my time. It's like .. Really? I managed to make you get mad just by refusing your "simple request," did I? Tell me again how that's my problem. Lol 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayashe Ninetails Posted March 26, 2022 Share Posted March 26, 2022 19 minutes ago, LunaRavencroft said: Lol Ayashe, that's great. I've got a voice changer, actually. But, I don't have the patience to actually use it. Blocking deals with the issue faster. Puts my anxiety at ease, as well. LOL, yeah it's a lot to go through just to deter someone. Blocking IS a lot faster. It would be kind of funny, though. "Sure, I'll verify!" *ten minutes later* ... *angry Donald Duck quacking* Omg my stomach LMAO. The whole last minute of this *wipes tears*. One bonus, of course, is if the guy sticks around and actually laughs with you, he might be a keeper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cunomar Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) Is it stupid or funny or what ? that i candidly discuss my laid back attitude to consensual relationships , and raised the possibility that somebody is having their aspirations crushed . The former had me compared to rapists , while the latter which (if true) constitutes real abuse even in a virtual world , was completely ignored by all . I wonder what a free thinking intelligent person would make of that . Edited March 28, 2022 by cunomar 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sukubia Scarmon Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 Are you saying no one here is a free thinking intelligent person? Also, did it, at some point, ever occur to you that you might be the one in the wrong, or is that completely out of question? 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) 7 hours ago, cunomar said: Is it stupid or funny or what ? that i candidly discuss my laid back attitude to consensual relationships , and raised the possibility that somebody is having their aspirations crushed . The former had me compared to rapists , while the latter which (if true) constitutes real abuse even in a virtual world , was completely ignored by all . I wonder what a free thinking intelligent person would make of that . I'm not going to pretend to speak for anyone else here, but I neither compared you to a rapist, nor did I say anything about "crushing aspirations." What I did say is that victim-blaming -- telling the young woman who had just confided to you that she had been abused that it was her fault because she was sexually promiscuous -- is itself abusive and both morally and literally wrong. Suggesting that she had been beaten up by her boyfriend because she's a "s**t" or a "w***e" is particular repugnant: you are essentially arguing that her sexual freedom, which you claim to be upholding, is the reason she was physically abused. This woman wasn't assaulted by her boyfriend because of anything she had done. She was assaulted because her boyfriend is an abuser. And that is why he is in jail. I want to be clear. Sexual promiscuity or even infidelity in a relationship is not a justification for beating someone up or hitting them. In fact, to be equally clear, there is really no justification for doing that to a woman (or man), period. End of story. And to imply otherwise is awful. To tell a woman who has been abused that this is the case is even worse. It's not cute, it's not funny, and it's not sexy. It is abusive. It doesn't make you a "rapist," but it does at least suggest that you are either a pretty awful person, or you need to seriously rethink your understanding of abuse. The woman's sexuality is not at issue here; it's neither here nor there. Whether she was flirting with you, "wanted" sex with you, or just about anything else in your story is irrelevant. Stop blaming victims for their victimization. Edited March 28, 2022 by Scylla Rhiadra 12 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 9 hours ago, cunomar said: Is it stupid or funny or what ? I can't see your original post as I'd like so I could evaluate it better, but I did skim it before it was removed. It sounds like you encountered a woman who feels aroused by imagining herself to be a promiscuous 'bad girl', and being punished for her transgressions further arouses her. And she was trying to roleplay this experience with you and wanted you to agree she's bad and deserves to be punished. Is that right? If she really was abused and her partner is in jail because of it, to play along with this scenario is causing her to re-abuse herself. This is very common for abuse survivors -- to re-enact the abuse. Do you really want to play a part in someone harming themselves even if it's on some level arousing to both of you? I understand it's usually beneficial to view adults as being responsible for their choices, but when someone has been damaged due to abuse a part of them is really not quite an adult (they are trapped in the past when they haven't emotionally dealt with the trauma) and they need our help or protection so as not to harm themselves. 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cunomar Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 I don't remember my mother and father ever living together because he knocked her front teeth out when i was a baby . I spent my entire childhood wishing i was 6ft tall so i could better protect my mother from what some would call my stepfather , a man i dont recall saying anything but yes or no to in 10 years . I left home when i was 12 for my own sanity accepting i was fighting for a lost cause . She left him soon after ? . I was over 6ft when my mother and I hooked up again and she was all set to marry the man who murdered her . So thank you for explaining to me things i might not understand . What you read as implied blame was given and received implicit - some guys can't cope with a girl like you . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Emerald Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) 18 minutes ago, cunomar said: I don't remember my mother and father ever living together because he knocked her front teeth out when i was a baby . I spent my entire childhood wishing i was 6ft tall so i could better protect my mother from what some would call my stepfather , a man i dont recall saying anything but yes or no to in 10 years . I left home when i was 12 for my own sanity accepting i was fighting for a lost cause . She left him soon after ? . I was over 6ft when my mother and I hooked up again and she was all set to marry the man who murdered her . So thank you for explaining to me things i might not understand . What you read as implied blame was given and received implicit - some guys can't cope with a girl like you . Your own past trauma is not the issue here and doesn't excuse any bad behavior on your part. Many of us have experienced trauma of one kind or another. Understanding how it may affect our reactions and behaviors may help us to understand others better and might even help us move past our own trauma, but it doesn't mean we're excused for exacerbating someone else's trauma. I'm sorry your mother suffered. I'm sorry you suffered. I'm sorry this girl who talked about suffered. Now how can we try to move away from hurting each other and try to help each other instead? Edited March 28, 2022 by Persephone Emerald 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Alpha Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) This room hopefully considers : As far as I can tell from cunomar's story, the meeting with the girl, eventhough for some comtemptuous and abhorrent to read, was consentual by both parties. I think it goes too far to accuse cunomar of feeding the girl a need for sustaining her own Stockholm Syndrome. Apparantly both parties stem from violent childhood backgrounds with a repeated vicious circle for abuse they only themselves can break or perhaps even only with professional help. Who am I indeed to judge what they did was wrong ? Think of him what you may. Edited March 28, 2022 by Solo Alpha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) Don't be one. Edited March 28, 2022 by Silent Mistwalker 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Alpha Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said: Don't be one. I could point that finger just as well at you. We hardly know the full story nor do we need to. All else is implied. ETA : I encouraged nothing nor accused anyone. Edited March 28, 2022 by Solo Alpha 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 25 minutes ago, Solo Alpha said: I could point that finger just as well at you. We hardly know the full story nor do we need to. All else is implied. ETA : I encouraged nothing nor accused anyone. I didn't point any fingers. Do you have a guilty conscience or something? If I was pointing any fingers at you I would have quoted you. So, you pointing any fingers at me would be a false accusation. That doesn't look too good on you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solo Alpha Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 Just now, Silent Mistwalker said: I didn't point any fingers. Do you have a guilty conscience or something? If I was pointing any fingers at you I would have quoted you. So, you pointing any fingers at me would be a false accusation. That doesn't look too good on you. You 'accuse' me of being an enabler. You are vague about it. To sustain the atmosphere of animosity. I could have all sorts of reasons to point fingers. I haven't. I only stated that if you did with your remark I might as well do so in return. As for looks .... no comment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 I think this one's gone well past far enough. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said: I think this one's gone well past far enough. In general, I agree -- this isn't an issue that I'm prepared to "debate." I hope, however, that the thread doesn't simply get zapped. Destructive attitudes towards abuse are prevalent enough that I think it would be potentially useful to keep this up, even if locked. @cunomar I am very genuinely sorry to hear about your mother's experience, and about your own as well. Domestic violence can have terrible long-term effects, and can distort everything -- one's view of women, understanding of what a loving relationship looks like, and indeed general view of life. I hope that you'll think about what has been said here -- really consider it thoughtfully, rather than casting about for justifications or excuses. People can learn. I very much want to believe that you are the kind of man who can. Edited March 28, 2022 by Scylla Rhiadra 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drake1 Nightfire Posted March 28, 2022 Share Posted March 28, 2022 1 hour ago, Solo Alpha said: You 'accuse' me of being an enabler. You are vague about it. To sustain the atmosphere of animosity. I could have all sorts of reasons to point fingers. I haven't. I only stated that if you did with your remark I might as well do so in return. As for looks .... no comment. Let me tell you how forums work. She didn't quote you, therefore she wasn't accusing YOU of anything nor was her post about YOU in particular. Her post just happened to follow yours. 2 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silent Mistwalker Posted March 29, 2022 Share Posted March 29, 2022 (edited) 2 hours ago, Solo Alpha said: You 'accuse' me of being an enabler. You are vague about it. To sustain the atmosphere of animosity. I could have all sorts of reasons to point fingers. I haven't. I only stated that if you did with your remark I might as well do so in return. As for looks .... no comment. Where did I accuse you of being an enabler? Where did I say "Solo, you are an enabler."? Quote me. IT NEVER HAPPENED. Edited March 29, 2022 by Silent Mistwalker 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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