a simple 'hello'

[Schatzi Timmerman]

I recently went wandering the grid, checking potential new groups to join. I'm not looking for anything extravagant, but a place I would happy to call my second home.

Most places I have looked at had people on site, dancing and chatting away in public. So I can assume they weren't botish. As I stood at the entrance, looking at the frivolousness, I expected a simple "hi Schatzi, welcome to (insert name here)".

What I got was crickets. I stood there and wandered a bit, so I could be noticed. Not a peep from the participants or the manager/owners. I'm not expecting a trumpet-led introduction, but a simple acknowledgement. Yes, I considered they were focused in chat. I've returned a few times, same results. A group I currently hang with said hello. In fact, it was the owner who invited me up to the dance area and when I arrived, members were giving me greetings. It felt nice.

My point is if a group is wanting new members, someone in the crowd should step up and say a simple "Hi". It not only opens a dialog with a possible new member, but sends a vibe "check out our sim. Take your time, we're here and appreciate you coming".

Automated greetings don't count.

By itself, saying hello to others shows a lot about the group. Sadly, not saying hello shows a lot too.

Am I mistaken?

[Rolig Loon]

33 minutes ago, Schatzi Timmerman said:

By itself, saying hello to others shows a lot about the group. Sadly, not saying hello shows a lot too.

Am I mistaken?

Nope.  That's a good point.  Of course, it works two ways.  If everyone else is quiet, maybe you could say Hello.  

[Madelaine McMasters]

39 minutes ago, Schatzi Timmerman said:

Am I mistaken?

Nope!

I approach things a little differently, though. I'm a natural introvert, I could be a hermit in RL. Nevertheless, I do enjoy engaging (or silly) conversation. When I want it, I don't expect it to drop in my lap. If I enter a venue and I'm not noticed, I'll lurk for a bit until something happens in public chat that I can hang an introduction on. Sometimes that's the arrival of someone else. I enjoy the irony of becoming the ungreeted greeter, and hope it sends a hint to the group. Other times I'll catch someone teasing someone else and join in. I'm careful enough that it usually works, but it does take some effort. If my efforts fail to bring me joy, I scratch the place from my list and move on.

Edited June 28, 2021 by Madelaine McMasters
Cuz "venut" ain't a word... yet.

[Rolig Loon]

4 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Cuz "venut" ain't a word.

It is, if you mumble through your moustache. "Whassa matta you guys? You venut an' better to do than stan' here wit yer teef in yer moufs?"

( Sorry for the derail, @Schatzi Timmerman.  Maddy made me do it.  Anyway, don't give up on the silent crowd. Sooner or later, someone has to break the ice. )

[Polenth Yue]

It's rare for me to see someone arrive at a party. I usually have everyone as jellydolls at best and most likely wireframe if it's really busy. I've no idea if someone who walks in front of me has just arrived or was there all along. So, my suggestion is to say hi when you arrive. If everyone ignores you at that point, that isn't good, but I'd bet you'll get a few responses in most places.

[Bree Giffen]

Guests at a place may not feel like it is their responsibility to greet you. If it's just a group of people gathered together there might be something like the "bystander effect" where people just expect someone else to take action.

[Quistess Alpha]

FWIW I don't go to clubs and such much, but when I do I often end up assuming the role of extra greeter. I have a notification set up for whenever someone enters (or leaves :/) chat-range, so I usually notice people coming and going.

[Madelaine McMasters]

11 minutes ago, Quistessa said:

FWIW I don't go to clubs and such much, but when I do I often end up assuming the role of extra greeter. I have a notification set up for whenever someone enters (or leaves :/) chat-range, so I usually notice people coming and going.

Quistessa, Is that a scripted object you wear, or something like a radar setting in the viewer?

[LittleMe Jewell]

22 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Quistessa, Is that a scripted object you wear, or something like a radar setting in the viewer?

With the Firestorm viewer - and possibly others - there is a viewer preference setting that will announce in chat when people enter & leave chat range.  In Firestorm, it is on the Chat / Radar tab.  The old Mysti-tool would do that also, so there likely are other tools that can do so.

[Quistess Alpha]

2 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

Quistessa, Is that a scripted object you wear, or something like a radar setting in the viewer?

Yeah, I use my viewer's (Kokua) built-in radar like LittleMe said. The main scripted things I wear are a tool I wrote forever ago to sense and send RLV relay messages and a simple utility for sending 'anonymous' chat. (Quite useful for spoofing NPCs actually. I had a bit of fun putting words in an animesh Santa's mouth last December.)

Edited June 29, 2021 by Quistessa

[Schatzi Timmerman]

6 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

( Sorry for the derail, @Schatzi Timmerman.  Maddy made me do it.  Anyway, don't give up on the silent crowd. Sooner or later, someone has to break the ice. )

@Madelaine McMasters, in the words of the great philosopher Gomer Pyle "Shame, shame, shame!".

I do appreciate the responses.

[Krystina Ferraris]

8 hours ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

If I enter a venue and I'm not noticed, I'll lurk for a bit until something happens in public chat that I can hang an introduction on. Sometimes that's the arrival of someone else. I enjoy the irony of becoming the ungreeted greeter, and hope it sends a hint to the group. Other times I'll catch someone teasing someone else and join in

Don't mind Maddy, that's not what she does at all... She would rather pick a random person from the crowd, walk over to them then proceed to sticking out her tongue, pull their hair and blow them a kiss. Until she gets noticed 😆😄

Edited June 29, 2021 by Krystina Ferraris

[Schatzi Timmerman]

33 minutes ago, Krystina Ferraris said:

Don't mind Maddy, that's not what she does at all... She would rather pick a random person from the crowd, walk over to them then proceed to sticking out her tongue, pull their hair and blow them a kiss. Until she gets noticed 😆😄

Or light them on fire.

Which way is the wind blowing?

[cunomar]

Its all about timing , if you arrive when their last victim quit they might be very friendly indeed .

[Theresa Tennyson]

10 hours ago, Schatzi Timmerman said:

Sadly, not saying hello shows a lot too.

Am I mistaken?

So, you're saying that you haven't been saying hello when you enter a new place?

[Rat Luv]

To be fair, if there was a host working, they should have greeted you. It's a big part of the role 

Also, it's very dull to host sets where nobody is talking at all. 

[BelindaN]

It's a mixed bag. Most places I go the host greets and I watch local and always respond. Many don't respond. Some avis are obviously afk. Local chat seems to be either almost non existent, or totally rammed with those picture emotes, which makes it impossible to follow. I tend to avoid places with local chat rammed with spam.

Edited June 29, 2021 by BelindaN

[Krystina Ferraris]

5 hours ago, Schatzi Timmerman said:

Or light them on fire.

Which way is the wind blowing?

Oh yes I forgot the most important part… set them on fire 🔥😂

[Psyche Starling]

3 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

To be fair, if there was a host working, they should have greeted you. It's a big part of the role 

Also, it's very dull to host sets where nobody is talking at all. 

I agree, this is the host's job. 

[Love Zhaoying]

15 hours ago, Schatzi Timmerman said:

As I stood at the entrance, looking at the frivolousness, I expected a simple "hi Schatzi, welcome to (insert name here)".

What I got was crickets. I stood there and wandered a bit, so I could be noticed. Not a peep from the participants or the manager/owners.

Usually the host and / or DJ is responsible for greetings- if they are on duty and not otherwise busy. Maybe a robot automated greeter would have sufficed? 

[Odaks]

I think that auto-greeters are fine for un-occupied places such as Visitor Centres (from where you have a choice of places to go to), but when entering an occupied area like a dance floor, club lounge etc., the (virtual) human touch is really called for. Knowing that a mindless bit of technology is pleased to see me counts for absolutely nothing in my opinion.

There are a lot of clubs and hangout type places that don't have a host(ess) on duty 24/7, and probably only arrange for one to be present for specific events. During "general" hours, these places will heavily rely on people just being nice. When that is not the case, the situation raised by the OP inevitably occurs. @Schatzi Timmerman herself said, "Automated greetings don't count", so she must think the same way.

@Polenth Yue makes a good point though. A simple, "Hi everyone" as you arrive will often provoke some responses.

[Rowan Amore]

I prefer to slip in silently and unnoticed and prefer not to be greeted.  I guess I'm in the minority on that.  

[Psyche Starling]

I don't mind being greeted when I've actually reached the dance floor--the time I got annoyed was when I only went to the club because I needed to unsubscribe from their endless spam, and needed to click their subscribo board to do it, and was standing at their landing point like a mile from the dance floor and got "Welcome (me) to the party!!!!!!" It was like when you go to a fast food place, are intentionally standing waaaaay back because you have no idea what you want, and they start asking how they can help you 😄

[Madelaine McMasters]

9 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I prefer to slip in silently and unnoticed and prefer not to be greeted.  I guess I'm in the minority on that.  

...sees you enter the thread and, to honor your desire to remain unnoticed, sets @Schatzi Timmerman and @Krystina Ferrarison fire

[Arielle Popstar]

14 minutes ago, Odaks said:

@Polenth Yue makes a good point though. A simple, "Hi everyone" as you arrive will often provoke some responses.

I usually prefer to wait for a greeting from those already there to see how tough of a crowd it is if there is chatter going on or if mostly afk/IM if there isn't. If it is a place I really am interested in, then I will try a greeting to see if there is at least a response and if not, poof elsewhere.