U think we wouldn't notice

[Orwar]

1 minute ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

This is the reaction I'm by far the most familiar with, and I never quite understood it. Some people take it really personally, too.

   I don't really take it personally, as such. I just find it awkward to have people around who've put a one-way glass between us. I can fully accept that someone is busy, AFKing, otherwise unavailable - or just not in the mood to chat (that's me 96.74% of my online time. Give or take.). But to go out of your way to manually untick all those boxes, when you have auto-responses for that purpose (and that just requires two clicks of the mouse), feels like really peculiar behavior. 

   If it's that someone doesn't respect that you don't want to interact with them, we have another-- 4 mouse clicks (I think, I'm not in-world to check), to deal with that sort.

   Click their name .. Click 'profile' ... Click the block button ... Accept, I think? Yeah, four. Although if you also want to remove them from your contact list, you'll have to go to your contacts, which is one or two clicks, depending on which list you were looking at, then click their name, then click remove, and then accept. I kinda lost count and I can't be bothered to read this tiny text to count again, but yeah, there we have it. It also appears I've gone made a footnote longer than the actual message, which makes me think maybe I shouldn't use such small text, but then again it's optional reading, so meh. If you did get this far, hai!

[Ceka Cianci]

Wanna drive a friend crazy.. click and un-click the, Friends can see you online box,over and over..

Then when they IM you and ask if you are having problems, just act like everything is normal and keep clicking..

 

There is a catch though.. You can only do it to really good friends that know you have a messed up sense of humor.. Do not try this on the more serious friends. Trust me it won't end well!! \o/

hehehehe

[Wulfie Reanimator]

8 minutes ago, Orwar said:

I don't really take it personally, as such. I just find it awkward to have people around who've put a one-way glass between us. I can fully accept that someone is busy, AFKing, otherwise unavailable - or just not in the mood to chat (that's me 96.74% of my online time. Give or take.). But to go out of your way to manually untick all those boxes, when you have auto-responses for that purpose (and that just requires two clicks of the mouse), feels like really peculiar behavior. 

I can totally see your side of it, it's not even unreasonable, but it's also why I really wish LL had a properly implemented online/offline switch that would globally hide your status from everything -- even scripts.

As things are now, you have to resort to private alts if you want true privacy. How will anyone know you're hiding if they literally can't know?

Edited December 7, 2020 by Wulfie Reanimator

[Rolig Loon]

12 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Really, it feels sometimes as though we've lost, in both RL and SL, the luxury of just being alone. And I don't like it.

This ^^  I value my quiet time. I won't go so far as to say that I am comfortable with self-isolation during this CoVid season, but I am not feeling the social claustrophobia that many people seem to be experiencing.  Like you, Scylla, I shut my phone off for chunks of time when I really don't want to be bothered.  Even when it's not OFF, I often forget where I put it, so I am likely to miss calls and text messages.  As far as I am concerned, that's the way it should be.  I decide when I want to talk and how soon I want to reply to messages.  The world can wait while I relax.  

[RangiUtu]

Once a long-time friend pissed me off repeatedly and finally went to far. I found myself hiding. Then I said "What are you doing!!" So I simply removed him - which was a sad moment but the snark and bullying had gone on way too long.😒

[Silent Mistwalker]

1 hour ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

When I give out my cell number, I tell people that it is not attached to my hip and that I frequently do not hear it ring and forget to check it for hours weeks, even months, at a time.  

I hate phones - always have.

ftfm

Face to face, eyeball to eyeball is my preferred communication method. Facial expressions and body language. We all speak volumes even when we say very little or nothing at all.

Landlines and voicemail/answering machines are cool though. lol

Edited December 7, 2020 by Silent Mistwalker

[Rowan Amore]

This is the main reason I rarely add anyone to my friend list.  If I'm feeling social, I go out and about and generally run into 'friends' I've talked with before.  

[LittleMe Jewell]

16 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

ftfm

Face to face, eyeball to eyeball is my preferred communication method. Facial expressions and body language. We all speak volumes even when we say very little or nothing at all.

Landlines and voicemail/answering machines are cool though. lol

Answering machines/voicemail is my preferred method of receiving calls.  I'd actually prefer to let all calls go to voicemail, even when I hear the phone ring.  Unfortunately, for our landline, my husband has this thing about answering every freakin call.  I'm still working on training him to give a noncommittal reply about me being available and then checking with me before just telling whomever that I'm there and handing me the phone.

Email is my preferred form of communication overall.  I don't like face-to-face because I prefer to avoid people as much as possible. Also, via email, I can write my snarky replies (thereby getting it out of my system) and then rewrite them until they are fit for most people to read.  In person, I have to bite my tongue too much.

[Love Zhaoying]

39 minutes ago, Silent Mistwalker said:

eyeball to eyeball

I love, love, love rubbing eyeballs with people!

Sometimes, I get someone else's eyelash poking me in the eye!

It is also fun to press our foreheads together, staring at each other until 2 eyes appear to be one - like a cyclops.

[Solar Legion]

RL, I tend to gravitate to vocal and textual communication and anyone actually paying attention when conversing with me in person will note that while I may be looking in your general direction, I am not looking at you - because unless I am closer than two feet to you, I can't see you clearly enough. I have no choice but to go on vocal tone (and what I call "microtone" - subtle shifts in vocal tone) for "face to face" communication and to take things as directly as possible when communicating via text (part of why I remind some that whatever they read into my responses belongs to them). I avoid phone calls as much as possible unless they are from friends/family.

SL and Online .... is a mixed bag. Environment depending I'll gravitate to either voice or text as need/availability demands. Fast paced things (such as most games/MMOs)? Voice. Period. SL or slower paced games? Text works well enough.

RP? Mixed bag there and for different reasons that have more to do with character separation and such.

[Bree Giffen]

There’s too much information available on the web. I saw someone post condolences for a dead person once and minutes later you could see they were playing a fun web game. Privacy is good thing even between friends. 
 

I think LL should fix this or maybe just remove functionality on the website. 

[kali Wylder]

to me it's all a matter of choosing the lesser evil.  Should I be mean and unfriendly right up front and turn down friendship requests?  I choose no.  Does the person constantly send me "hello" IMs the moment I log in? I choose to hide my status from them. Do they get offended by my hiding? I choose to ignore them. Pretty simple.

[Silent Mistwalker]

42 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

to me it's all a matter of choosing the lesser evil.  Should I be mean and unfriendly right up front and turn down friendship requests?  I choose no.  Does the person constantly send me "hello" IMs the moment I log in? I choose to hide my status from them. Do they get offended by my hiding? I choose to ignore them. Pretty simple.

That's how I've always been in SL. It's only in more recent years that I've chosen to turn down friendship requests from people I just met and know nothing about. How else can we know if we can get along or not much less like one another or not? If there is nothing to base even just an acquaintanceship on there's, well, nothing. Most of us log in seeking companionship most of the time. 

That and I got tired of deleting strangers off my list that never bothered to contact me after the initial meeting or answer an IM I sent them. It's like "ADD ME NAO" but you will cease to exist to them if you do. 🤔

[Jordyn McGregor]

I usually discover who is hiding when I do a list clean out.  I'm a wuss and only delete people when they are offline, so a delete followed 5 seconds later by them sending me a "wtf?" shows who was hiding!!!

And that is when I tell them I was trying to get the person above or below and got them by mistake...and then have to re-add them.

[Silent Mistwalker]

31 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

I usually discover who is hiding when I do a list clean out.  I'm a wuss and only delete people when they are offline, so a delete followed 5 seconds later by them sending me a "wtf?" shows who was hiding!!!

And that is when I tell them I was trying to get the person above or below and got them by mistake...and then have to re-add them.

I laughed because I'm guilty of housecleaning when others are offline as well. Old, old habit. Not sure if it's still needed or not. The habit that is.

[Whirly Fizzle]

This behaviour has been there since at least 2013.

Bug report: BUG-3104 - When hiding your online status from a friend, the dashboard no longer shows you as offline to your friend. Instead it removes you totally from their friends list on their dashboard.

[Sassy Kenin]

Just exchange calling cards that works too..tell them the friends list is full...cold I know but sometimes necessary.

[PermaRuthed]

20 hours ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

You don't need to count names, you can always check the online status of any avatar with an LSL script.

Why bother? Why are you bothered?

Not singling anyone out as being bothered, but there are enough people getting mad enough to make drama out of it.

[PermaRuthed]

I appreciate everybody's insight. You made me see the light on other viewpoints I never understood before, so thanks.

[rasterscan]

12 hours ago, Bree Giffen said:

There’s too much information available on the web. I saw someone post condolences for a dead person once and minutes later you could see they were playing a fun web game. Privacy is good thing even between friends. 

I think LL should fix this or maybe just remove functionality on the website. 

Their ToDo list is longer than mine but hope springs eternal eh.

[rasterscan]

I cannot stand pop ups telling me person x is online offline online offline so I cheerfully untick that box in the friends list. But that has caused great offence to one or two 'friends' who IM to ask why. I cannot stand the popups friends, it was never anything personal.  ❤️

[Wulfie Reanimator]

43 minutes ago, rasterscan said:

I cannot stand pop ups telling me person x is online offline online offline so I cheerfully untick that box in the friends list. But that has caused great offence to one or two 'friends' who IM to ask why. I cannot stand the popups friends, it was never anything personal.  ❤️

Uh, what? Is this just a more confusingly worded version of Silent Mistwalker's post?

Are you aware that you can disable those online/offline notifications in your viewers settings?

[Silent Mistwalker]

6 hours ago, Wulfie Reanimator said:

Uh, what? Is this just a more confusingly worded version of Silent Mistwalker's post?

Are you aware that you can disable those online/offline notifications in your viewers settings?

Your post was more confusing than mine! 🏆🥳🥂