Pearl Worried

[Arielle Popstar]

Just now, Bagnu said:

I'm not automatically accepting and OK with things. I need reasons.

Quite often the reasons do not become apparent until after the acceptance.

[Bagnu]

6 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Quite often the reasons do not become apparent until after the acceptance.

I'm not disagreeing. I will not simply bow though.  And this is the kind of reply that helps me understand what the forums are about. Thank you.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I'm not disagreeing. I will not simply bow though.  And this is the kind of reply that helps me understand what the forums are about.

For what it's worth, I agree with your first response to this. Any community that demands unquestioning compliance sounds mildly cultish, and is likely not worth joining.

Nor is this about "bowing" or "surrender" or anything like that. It's about thinking carefully and critically about the expectations of that community, and determining, first, whether those expectations are a good match for you, and second, how to meet those expectations on your own terms, as an individual.

The point is not to put you in sackcloth and ashes and force you to kiss the feet of the Queen of the Forums. It's to find a way to be authentically you, while still participating in and benefiting from all of the other authentic people here.

[Arielle Popstar]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

For what it's worth, I agree with your first response to this. Any community that demands unquestioning compliance sounds mildly cultish, and is likely not worth joining.

Nor is this about "bowing" or "surrender" or anything like that. It's about thinking carefully and critically about the expectations of that community, and determining, first, whether those expectations are a good match for you, and second, how to meet those expectations on your own terms, as an individual.

The point is not to put you in sackcloth and ashes and force you to kiss the feet of the Queen of the Forums. It's to find a way to be authentically you, while still participating in and benefiting from all of the other authentic people here.

You misunderstood. The suggestion was for accepting herself.

[Bagnu]

4 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

For what it's worth, I agree with your first response to this. Any community that demands unquestioning compliance sounds mildly cultish, and is likely not worth joining.

Nor is this about "bowing" or "surrender" or anything like that. It's about thinking carefully and critically about the expectations of that community, and determining, first, whether those expectations are a good match for you, and second, how to meet those expectations on your own terms, as an individual.

The point is not to put you in sackcloth and ashes and force you to kiss the feet of the Queen of the Forums. It's to find a way to be authentically you, while still participating in and benefiting from all of the other authentic people here.

Inworld is different because there is always a degree of RP involved. Here there isn't. And that's what's taken me a bit of time to understand. 

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

The suggestion

Don't tell her about the baptism ritual room yet....I don't think she's ready...

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Don't tell her about the baptism ritual room yet....I don't think she's ready...

Perhaps not but it can be important to know what the destination is.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Arielle Popstar

[Bagnu]

But yet we still can't separate our inworld identities from the forums..

[Scylla Rhiadra]

3 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Inworld is different because there is always a degree of RP involved.

That's a really interesting statement. You'll find, I think, that most people here disagree.

It is, in fact, the kind of question that would make for an interesting and worthwhile thread. Rather like the good one you started on why people are in the forums. Phrased well (and not as an assertion or personal credo), it would work well.

But, um . . . maybe give it a few days. 🙂

[Scylla Rhiadra]

4 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Perhaps not but it can be important to know what the destination is.

The two of you are scaring me.

[Madelaine McMasters]

2 hours ago, Bagnu said:

I take FULL responsibility for my actions and words.

We all should. When someone tells me I've offended them I try to:
1)Apologize
2)Explain
3)Learn
4)Grow

Those are NOT listed in order of importance.

2 hours ago, Bagnu said:

I am NOT here in the forums to please or displease anyone.

My primary goal here is to establish connection with others. They are why I'm here. They are interesting and valuable to me and I want to be interesting and valuable to them. So, I make the investment of learning about them, knowing that if my interest and appreciation shows, they might return it. When they do, I'm grateful.

I think this is where you are stumbling. Your participation here cannot be borne of ambivalence. If you want to be an accepted and appreciated part of this community, you must accept and appreciate the community in return. Care what other people think, learn about them, then show them what you've learned. That can be pleasant work and I highly recommend it. 

When others offer criticism, don't just hear it. Consider the potential for your own culpability and what you might change to address it.

This place is not about any of us, this place is about all of us. That's pretty damned neat.

 

[Bagnu]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

That's a really interesting statement. You'll find, I think, that most people here disagree.

It is, in fact, the kind of question that would make for an interesting and worthwhile thread. Rather like the good one you started on why people are in the forums. Phrased well (and not as an assertion or personal credo), it would work well.

But, um . . . maybe give it a few days. 🙂

Again I've learned more. It's interesting though how when I chat with you I'm myself. We are our deepest fantasies in SL. So it's even more real than RL in some ways.

[Madelaine McMasters]

33 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

The point is not to put you in sackcloth and ashes and force you to kiss the feet of the Queen of the Forums.

...fondly recalls her days as High Priestess of the Forums and then grouses that she could never leverage that for anything of value, much less some urchin planting icky lips on her little piggies.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters
Changed "dirtball" to "urchin", but not quickly enough.

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Madelaine McMasters said:

...fondly recalls her days as High Priestess of the Forums and then grouses that she could never leverage that for anything of value, much less some dirtball planting icky lips on her little piggies.

@Seicher Rae has been doing the rounds of late. My thigh highs are VERY shiny.

[Madelaine McMasters]

1 minute ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

@Seicher Rae has been doing the rounds of late. My thigh highs are VERY shiny.

Better you than me. I hate boots.

@Seicher Rae, do you paint bathrooms?

Edited August 31, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters

[Scylla Rhiadra]

Just now, Madelaine McMasters said:

I hate boots.

That's just so wrong, on so many levels.

[Arielle Popstar]

3 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

We all should. When someone tells me I've offended them I try to:
1)Apologize

Sometimes when people get offended, it is for them to deal with themselves. That's part of growing up. Noone needs to be a walking apology because others are not taking responsibility for their own stuff.

[Bagnu]

2 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

@Seicher Rae has been doing the rounds of late. My thigh highs are VERY shiny.

OMG, I'm just a bit jealous....

[LittleMe Jewell]

1 hour ago, RowanMinx said:

3 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

While I have encountered folks in RL that are "sometimes" being a a$$hole, unless they are drunk/stoned, I can't say any of them expected everyone else to just deal with it.  Well, except for the occasional psychopath that didn't care about anyone except themselves.   

When you continually say things like "I'm annoying, that's just who I am", it tells me that you are so self-centered that you do not care what anyone else thinks of you - That it is not your job to attempt to change any behavior that is off-putting, but rather everyone else should just simply accept any behavior that you throw out there.

 

But we should have to deal with your annoyance?

I think I'm confused here.  I never asked anyone to deal with my annoyance.   I actually never even said that I was annoyed, though I did say that she made me irritated and I felt she was clueless.

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

Just now, Arielle Popstar said:

Sometimes when people get offended, it is for them to deal with themselves. That's part of growing up. Noone needs to be a walking apology because others are not taking responsibility for their own stuff.

Thankfully, I don't offend people all that often, so I've yet to become a walking apology. When I do offend, an apology can ease an explanation.

[Bagnu]

3 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

I think I'm confused here.  I never asked anyone to deal with my annoyance.   I actually never even said that I was annoyed, though I did say that she made me irritated and I felt she was clueless.

 

I'm not denying I was clueless at all. I still don't fully understand.

[Bagnu]

The one thing in SL I have never experienced in SL  is being sexual with a close friend. I've wondered what that would would feel like.

Now I have gone adult, but no choice.

 I would start a thread on that but I would just end up getting attacked again.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Tari Landar]

I'm going to say this again, since we're playing the "I'm new" card, even though I have said it before, and frankly it's beyond annoying and shouldn't be necessary for me to say at all, it's pretty common knowledge and usually proper netiquette.  

Keep forum stuff on the forums, and keep forum crap out of my IM and inventory inworld.. PLEASE. That includes those reading and feeling the need to white knight for someone that I have, repeatedly, said offended me terribly, yet have still been far more pleasant than I probably would otherwise in any other locale.  

I don't give a flying pig's left friggen nut if it didn't offend you, or you think I shouldn't be offended (worse, that I should "get over it"...that deserves a hearty...something.... but I won't), or if you're that person's friend, or not. I really don't give a crap. So please stop trying to come to her defense by filling my damn inbox with crap about me and all kinds of other stuff I'd rather not read. I've hardly been mean and I've been far more diplomatic than I honestly (now) believe is deserved.  She clearly doesn't care what I, or anyone else says, or thinks, and I suppose good on her for being consistent in that, however annoying most of us may find it. 

 

I really wouldn't do that to other people, I'm not sure what in the world is running through people's heads when they do (I also don't want to know, cuz some of them are just wretched creatures). 

 

 

 

 

[Madelaine McMasters]

2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Again I've learned more. It's interesting though how when I chat with you I'm myself. We are our deepest fantasies in SL. So it's even more real than RL in some ways.

I set people on fire in-world.
I set them on fire here.

Both are fantasies from the mind of a woman sitting in a chair in Wisconsin who is approximately the same wherever she goes. We have discussed the amplification and acceleration of connections in SL. More of me in less time is still... me.

[Snugs McMasters]

4 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

The one thing in SL I have never experienced in SL  is being sexual with a close friend.

I tried that with my partner.

Meh.