SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 I have made some very dear friends from the Forum, and even an SL sister. Because I'm such a controversial figure I worry about them being judged for the company they keep.Eventually it becomes obvious. I can take care of myself quite nicely, but I don't want my friends to have to do the same. just because of me!!! Thoughts anyone? 1 2
Scylla Rhiadra Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, Bagnu said: I have made some very dear friends from the Forum, and even an SL sister. Because I'm such a controversial figure I worry about them being judged for the company they keep.Eventually it becomes obvious. I can take care of myself quite nicely, but I don't want my friends to have to do the same. just because of me!!! Thoughts anyone? Pearl, I've been on this forum, off and on, for over 11 years. You wouldn't believe some of the characters I've associated with here. You look like a member of the community church choir next to some of them. Besides, if I can survive association with Maddy, I can survive anything. Everyone here is judged on their own merits. You don't need to worry about us. 7 1
Madelaine McMasters Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) Pearl, I've been on this forum, continuously, for nearly 11 years. You wouldn't believe some of the characters I've associated with here. You look like a member of the community church choir next to some of them. Besides, if I can survive association with Scylla, I can survive anything. Everyone here is judged on their own merits. You don't need to worry about us. ETA: You also have an SL mother ;-). Edited August 30, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters 1 6
Rowan Amore Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 26 minutes ago, Bagnu said: I have made some very dear friends from the Forum, and even an SL sister. Because I'm such a controversial figure I worry about them being judged for the company they keep.Eventually it becomes obvious. I can take care of myself quite nicely, but I don't want my friends to have to do the same. just because of me!!! Thoughts anyone? We'll never know who they are for sure unless you or they make it known and if they do, then they probably don't mind. 2
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 24 minutes ago, RowanMinx said: We'll never know who they are for sure unless you or they make it known and if they do, then they probably don't mind. That's a good thing. My friendships really do run across the board, The hatred for me has RL shocked me. I mean in the forums. Nothing like this inworld. There I get hugs and kisses!!! And I mean by my friends!!! Pearl composes herself a little after becoming emotional. Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu 1
Jordyn McGregor Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) How about stop promoting yourself as "porn" and starting threads that are just extensions from other threads (ie this topic was touched upon in the naughty pics on Flickr thread). I haven't seen any hatred towards you, the person, in these threads. It has been dislike of the things you do or say and your total disregard of the consequences for them that has people being negative towards you. As @RowanMinx said, unless you name and shame them, or they do it themselves, we won't know (and in my case won't care) who your friends are. Edit - Referring to yourself in the third person in the title is just creepy! Edited August 30, 2020 by Jordan Whitt 17 1
Scylla Rhiadra Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 43 minutes ago, RowanMinx said: We'll never know who they are for sure unless you or they make it known and if they do, then they probably don't mind. Yep. I'm completely fine with people knowing that Pearl is a friend. 35 minutes ago, Bagnu said: The hatred for me has RL shocked me. This is a forum and, to be honest, a pretty tame one at that. One runs across the occasional toxic personality, but we don't even have many of those (and certainly not compared to the past): really, there's not a whole lot of "hate" here, and, like Jordan, I haven't seen any directed at you, at least not publicly. I've seen criticism, and some grumpiness and even rudeness, but that's not the same thing. You're putting yourself out into the public here, and speaking to a virtual room full of people, some of whom are going to judge you. That's just how it works. You need a bit of thick skin if you're going to mix in communities like this, if only because so many people have a difficult time mastering tone. And it's best just not to care: I can assure you, from long personal experience, that the last thing you want to do is get involved in a public fight here. It just makes things worse. Be dignified, and walk away. As a wise old fish in another place once said: it's a forum. No one dies. 2
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 Thanks Scylla. I really appreciate you letting our friendship be known. 2
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) Well Jordan, your here. You can't hate me that much. Or maybe you do.....that much!!! And lol, I actually like you!!! Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu
Jordyn McGregor Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 30 minutes ago, Bagnu said: Well Jordan, your here. You can't hate me that much. Or maybe you do.....that much!!! And lol, I actually like you!!! I get concerned when you say you get hatred, because as one of your most vocal thread opponents, I wonder if you lump me into that category. I do not hate you as a person, but I do hate or disagree with some of the things you have said or say you do. There is only one person on these boards I can honestly say I do hate, but it relates to inworld stuff not board stuff. 2 1
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said: I get concerned when you say you get hatred, because as one of your most vocal thread opponents, I wonder if you lump me into that category. I do not hate you as a person, but I do hate or disagree with some of the things you have said or say you do. There is only one person on these boards I can honestly say I do hate, but it relates to inworld stuff not board stuff. I never felt hatred from you. A bit of anger at me perhaps, but never hatred. Hate or disagree with what I do. I have no issues with that. I never would have asked you to meet inworld if I felt hatred. I understand you refused, but it would have been nice to have a realtime conversation Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu
Lindal Kidd Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 Well, I'm NOT a friend of Pearl...officially, that is. But I like her! 2
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said: Well, I'm NOT a friend of Pearl...officially, that is. But I like her! Thank you!! I like you too. very much actually!!! Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu 1
AdminGirl Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) I'd like to think that people are able to agree or disagree based on what is being said rather than who is saying it. If I truly disagree with something, I wouldn't agree just 'cause the person saying it is my friend. But I guess if someone generally says a lot of ignorant stuff, maybe I'd feel a little embarrassed to be associated with them. ETA: Also depends on how much you believe in the whole "You can tell a lot about a person by looking at the company they keep". Edited August 30, 2020 by AdminGirl 2
Alwin Alcott Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 2 hours ago, Bagnu said: I have made some very dear friends from the Forum, and even an SL sister. Because I'm such a controversial figure I worry about them being judged for the company they keep.Eventually it becomes obvious. I can take care of myself quite nicely, but I don't want my friends to have to do the same. just because of me!!! Thoughts anyone? you'r not controversial, you simply post sometimes things are discussed and people vent their opinion. Thats all. The thing that makes some a bit tired is your constant hammering on whát you are instead of who you are. .. and people respond on that again... still not controversial. 7
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 3 minutes ago, AdminGirl said: I'd like to think that people are able to agree or disagree with what is being said rather than who is saying it. If I truly disagree with something, I wouldn't agree just 'cause the person saying it is my friend. But I guess if someone generally says a lot of ignorant stuff, maybe I'd feel a little embarrassed to be associated with them.. I dunno, that probably says something about my own insecurities. You couldn't be friends.with anyone who says a lot of "ignorant stuff". That's impossible,. 1
LittleMe Jewell Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 LittleMe thinks that someone just can't stand it if she isn't constantly the center of attention - hence some of these totally odd and unneeded threads. 9 12 1 1
Alwin Alcott Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 37 minutes ago, Bagnu said: I never would have asked you to meet inworld if I felt hatred. I understand you refused, but it would have been nice to have a realtime conversation don't confuse inworld with the forum, it are, for many, totally different things. 2 1
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said: LittleMe thinks that someone just can't stand it if she isn't constantly the center of attention - hence some of these totally odd and unneeded threads. Um, excuse me? where have I ever denied that I want to be the center of attention? Of course I do!!! My threads are honest questions though. If you don't like them, you don't have to read them or respond to them. Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu 2
Orwar Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 Orwar agrees with LittleMe. But then, Orwar tends to find it rather amusing to slip the trolls the occasional thing to eat. Not out of philanthropy mind, but because the gleeful sadist in him enjoys watching people who think they soar when they are slithering in the mud - delusion has such a great entertainment value. 7 2 1
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 19 minutes ago, Alwin Alcott said: don't confuse inworld with the forum, it are, for many, totally different things. I am quite aware of that The forums are a place of hostility in a lot of ways. But thank you for the advice!!! Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu
Amanda Crisp Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 Pearl, We live in a world where substantial segments of the population can’t see the difference between “Disagree” and “Hate” and the increasingly common solution to “Disagree” is to ignore the person and their life’s work. IMO, the only reasonable course of action in a situation like that is to Be Yourself. You can’t control what other people think, say or do. If you’re happy with yourself, thats good enough. Be Yourself. That way, when you get flamed anyway; you have the satisfaction of having at least been authentic. This is the Internet; everybody gets flamed 🙂 3 1
Ren Toxx Posted August 30, 2020 Posted August 30, 2020 Ren sits and just enjoys the thread while sipping coffee (too early for popcorn), but the obsessive-compulsive in her is tempted to ask @Orwar if there are sadists who aren’t gleeful, or is he just like a Premium Sadist? And if so, she also wonders how can she apply. 4
SandorWren Posted August 30, 2020 Author Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Amanda Crisp said: Pearl, We live in a world where substantial segments of the population can’t see the difference between “Disagree” and “Hate” and the increasingly common solution to “Disagree” is to ignore the person and their life’s work. IMO, the only reasonable course of action in a situation like that is to Be Yourself. You can’t control what other people think, say or do. If you’re happy with yourself, thats good enough. Be Yourself. That way, when you get flamed anyway; you have the satisfaction of having at least been authentic. This is the Internet; everybody gets flamed 🙂 We truly have to meet inworld lol!!! I already love you!! Edited August 30, 2020 by Bagnu 1
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