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Tari Landar

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About Tari Landar

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  1. I didn't want to say happy pre-Thanksgiving, because sl is a global network of people, and there are many the world over that do not celebrate this holiday...no reason or judgement necessary So...instead..good mornfterning to all (I'm covering all my bases) And a message...wouldn't be me without it... Be good to yourselves, and be good to others. When you can't be good to yourself, please let others be good both to and for you. When you can't be good to others, be good enough to yourself to make a concerted effort to be good enough to others. If you're struggling with the season, for any reason, please reach out to someone, anyone, even if it's a perfect stranger, there is strength in numbers, that's not just a cliche' saying. Sometimes, this isn't an easy time of year, it's ok to have struggles, it's ok not to have struggles, and it's also okay not to know what to do about or with those struggles. Just do your best and know that no matter what, you're good enough, you're wanted, you're liked, you're loved...and most importantly.....you're necessary. All of you, without exception.
  2. I'm sorry you found it patronizing or rude, that lmao was more so because the changes to gachas are an odd addition, given the current(ongoing) issues with the MP . The ability to filter them doesn't address the one problem a lot of people had/have with gachas in many of the discussions merchants have had, and the way LL has recently handled that entire topic (they added a gacha category but did not make it mandatory to be used, and don't require anyone to use it, and they thought that would make people happy...but it didn't). Gachas are an issue on MP, no doubt, and the filter is a nice addition, it just doesn't address another concern people have with gachas that is also important (an issue they have assured us they don't intend to fix, they said it's working as intended..hence why it peeves people off) As for the topics, I'm just going to link some of them here...that way people won't have to read more of my rant, but maybe can understand why I'm utterly peeved (and not alone in that) with LL and..well, most things they do related to the MP, especially right now. Merchants don't need new filters right now when LL is delisting things at an alarming rate..but I digress..please...read the threads, please. Ask other merchants if you feel I'm being overly ridiculous about something. I may seem so..but I'm really not The first thread is probably the most helpful when trying to understand this problem, as it discusses the most recent bout. It's costing merchants quite a lot, causing entire stores and sections of stores to be removed, and LL's response is "Ooops. Find the problem, send us a ticket for each item we removed, and we'll get back to you", when we get a response at all (yes, I'm serious). There really have been a lot of threads over the years discussing the flags and unlisting of items for no real reason. I'm not just ranting about that for no reason, I have cause to..it's a HUGE problem, and it is 100% something that LL did, and not something merchants can fix or even prevent. https://community.secondlife.com/forums/topic/443536-automatically-unlisted-items-whats-going-on/ https://community.secondlife.com/forums/topic/443723-automatic-unlist-offending-words/ https://community.secondlife.com/forums/topic/444296-forbidden-words/ https://community.secondlife.com/forums/topic/433079-help-whats-offensive/
  3. I'm going to echo Marut here a little bit..and, since you're new, fair warning, I type lots of words, lots, and lots and lots of words, TLDR; at the end Making genuine friendships, and I can presume you mean deeper than casual friendships (not necessarily sexually related, or involved, at all) is a very difficult thing in all facets of life. Even people who seem to have no difficulties at all, it might not actually be what it seems on the surface. Maybe for those people, the relationships aren't as deep as you might think. I think that's something people who have difficulties making friendships (even not deep ones) have to take into consideration, but rarely do...because we get stuck in that "why can't I?" mode. We get stuck in our own frames of mind, the largest component of which is "what am I doing wrong". Until we can eliminate that component and the whole getting stuck in our own heads, we'll continue to struggle. I use the word we, because I am most definitely included in that. I can, very easily, make casual friendships, but deeper ones...oh, they're so very hard, for all kinds of reasons and most no one wants to read about...but they all really boil back down to the fact that I can't eliminate those components and get the hell out of my own head, so..eh, it is what it is. I do my best to make casual friendships and hold out the hope that they develop further. There has not been a sexual component to my interactions with people (since hubby, obviously), sl, rl, anywhere online...not even a hint of it, which does lend a little less tension to my interactions (and desire for them to go further) than it does for others with whom that is a component. I can honestly say that even before hubby, that element was as limited as possible, because I often find it compounds the problem, and disallowing it for a while can make things easier. Now, please don't take my saying that as suggesting you are some kind of hussy always looking to add that component, because it's most definitely not. I just happen to believe that, unless the casual sex thing is EXACTLY what you're looking for...it's going to muddy the waters and make things more difficult if you're struggling to find some level of genuineness in your relations with others. I mean, you can always incorporate that down the road if you wish (that's what hubby and I did, desire may have been there from day one, but we tamed those demons, and I'm very glad we did), in fact, I highly recommend it. You are in full control over that aspect, desire be damned, and it's one of the only components you're actually fully in control of, really. Others' mileage may vary, and they very well may have developed deeper relationships through that component too..I'm not knocking it, but for you, as you said..it's not working. I'm not going to do the whole "go meet people" thing, because, like you said..you've tried. What I can say is that you need to think about the kinds of things you'd like in friends, the experiences you'd like to have, the connections, the traits in them you'd like to see, the traits in yourself you'd like to show...and exploit the hell out of that. It's super hard for a lot of us, especially people like me without a lick of confidence 99.9999999999999999999999% of the time. I can be friendly with almost anyone. I can be friends with a lot of them. I can't be best friends with most, though, because I have a hard time getting to that point, and an even harder time when things don't go as planned and I somehow lose them (yeah yeah people part ways..yadda yadda..still hurts sometimes, no matter how long the relationship was, and it causes that "what did I do wrong" demon to break free). Seek out the things that interest you the most first, hopefully there will be people around that share in that interest, and casual conversations about that shared interest, the one thing you know you have in common, can start. Don't force the intellectual, don't force the humor, don't force anything and keep your expectations reasonable. It doesn't have to be a specific sim, even group chats can help with this part. The more you participate in things, with no real expectations, the easier it gets (or so people tell me...I fail at this part all the time, literally all the time, especially on the forums, it's why I spend the bulk of my time in sl by myself, and being chastised for talking too much here...and then I disappear for months...vicious cycle, of my own making). I have a tendency to talk with people that need help with something, more often than not, because for me, even if they never like me, never want to be friends with me..it helps feed the need for something more than what I have. Admittedly, I have a wonderful life, plenty of friends, and loads of people to talk to...but online...eh, I'm about as misfit as it gets, and I struggle with it constantly, often blame a lot of it on the fact that I think way too often about losing what very little online presence I have today when I can no longer involve textual conversations in that presence-which has taken up the bulk of my presence for more than two decades. (that's not a self pity party, it's just a, my, reality, and I own it). TLDR; (admittedly still not concise) That;s my long winded way of saying....you might need to change the direction in which you're pointing your sail. Don't rely on a navigation system made by someone else..let the winds take you where they want first. If it's not where you want to be, flip it again and go somewhere else (I don't mean leave sl, lol). Changing directions is hard for people that find difficulty in making true, genuine, deep friendships, but once we get ourselves there..we do pretty good. We fall a lot, we bump into things, we might even capsize a time or two, but eventually, we get where we're going. You gotta have faith in yourself and your ability to get yourself there first though-I struggle with that too. It's also my long winded way of saying, you might not be giving these casual friendships enough credit. They are the building blocks on which you'll create your future and it's worth noting that even the ones that end in ways you don't like hep create that foundation. Learn from what went wrong, not what YOU did wrong, but overall what went wrong, or not like you'd hope, and make slight changes. Slight changes are easier than big changes, and you may not have to plan for them, either. You may find that through losing those casual encounters and relationships, you figure out exactly what you want, because you didn't know before, just didn't know you didn't know. DOn't give up on you, and the idea, just keep swimming....you really will get there, promise
  4. My best and worst gifts were both intangible, and I received them both within a very short time span of December 24 to December 25 One of my children spent most of her first five years of life living in and out of a children's hospital. She had an NG (feeding tube through her nose) as an infant/toddler for a while and then they decided to give her a mic-key g button (feeding tube through her tummy, it looks like the thing you use to blow up inflatables, a lil plug) when she was 20 months old. She had the surgery, but didn't do very well. She got very sick right after, and eight hours later I had to sign the first DNR (do not resuscitate order) I've ever signed for her, because she wasn't expected to make it, and prolonging her life should she go backwards again would be very cruel (it would have, please don't judge). About two hours after I signed the order, she plummeted, and my worst fears were realized, that if she stopped breathing during this episode, she would be gone. An hour later, she gasped very loudly, stopped breathing for about twenty seconds, gasped loudly again, and sat up......literally....sat right the hell up. She scared the crap out of everyone in the room and within two hours of that, she was up and walking, mostly fine(sore) and by the next day able to get full feeds. She was home the day before New Years Eve. I am happy to report that, despite many setbacks a year or so later, she had her mic-key removed a month before she started first grade and is now a very happy, healthy, amazing, not-a-little. If you wanted something a bit more tangible.... My favorite gift ever is something hubby bought me a few years ago to replace my most favorite toy growing up, which I held on to until well into my adulthood, that someone else destroyed out of pure malice. It's as close to impossible to find today as it can get, since they stopped making them decades ago, but he found one. It is as loved today as mine was my entire life, and I will treasure it always. I've never received a bad gift, or anything I have perceived as bad anyway. For me, a gift is a gift for a reason, and I place a lot of value in that. I've gotten things people THOUGHT or said were bad gifts..but they've never been such to me
  5. He wins manliest man, and personiest person, and frackeliest frackel 'twas the year of our greatest pasketti lord two thousand and five plus three (and yes, the gnome is holding my boobs up, don't judge me)
  6. I double that nomination Though I prefer my beef not moo at me...I don't judge, you do you
  7. Ooo, good point also doggiest dog, monkiest monkey, wolfiest wolf, foxiest fox, lammaiest llama, hamsteriest hamster, owliest owl, hippoiest hippo, slothiest sloth, mousiest mouse, tigeriest tiger, lioniest lion, elephantiest elephant, lemuriest lemur, platypusiest platypus (filters don't fail me now), ferretiest ferret, turkiest turkey (there's a bunch of turkeys on my patio, lol), deeriest deer.... oh I could keep this going forever and never run out of "iests"
  8. Ftr., my requirements also apply for "most womanly woman" and most "persony person" but I forgot some things You must love gnomes, and you must gift me gnomes, because I love gnomes And you can't judge me when I name my gnomes, because I really love gnomes
  9. From a personal standpoint (in case you wanted an actual answer, lol), no, it would not work or be a good idea. I don't like popularity contests even though life often is...or seems...like one giant popularity contest. On a "if it did happen, what should be the criteria" note....these are my criteria Be able to watch chick flicks, and not think they're chick flicks Know how to change a tire, oil, baby diaper, and various home improvement items (all at the same time equals bonus round...TBD) Be eclectic...in all things Wear whatever you want, when you want Look however you want, when you want Not give a carp if others agree with the prior choices (only salmon) Know how to do your own laundry, cook, clean, take care of the yard, butcher a chicken, start a fire 6 different ways, build a rocket, and prepare for disasters of epic proportions (bug out bag , epidemic, natural disaster and zombie protection included) Not be afraid to cuddle Know how to row a boat Play with legos, trains, rc vehicles and bubbles on a regular basis Color, a lot, especially outside the lines Have a great sense of humor, have a dirty sense of humor, have a colorful sense of humor Love animals, all animals, all creatures, without question (exceptions: terrible human beings, and those that make me cry...you can stomp them for me, they deserve it, I'll even let you use my boots, they're way cool and comfy) Play monopoly with me, even though you know I've never lost a game i my life I also demand operation, mouse trap, candyland, connect four, backgammon, uno, hungry hungry hippos, dominoes, ants in the pants, kerplunk, bounce off, cornhole, badmitton, hopscotch, hide and go seek, tag, pac-man, mario kart, marble madness...and any other game I reserve the right to demand later lost my train of thought, I'll have to catch the next one
  10. As much as I would love to say that LL is indeed breaking laws, in some fashion, with regards to not allowing third party "sales"..platforms and methodologies...I can't. They may just barely teeter on the edge of legalities, but I have serious doubts that they actually overstep the line. This might get really confusing...and it's long, and complicated, I may not explain it the best (perhaps someone can clean it up for me and explain it better..I'm having a not fun day)..fair warning. The main reason that I say this, is because SL is wholely owned by Linden Lab(no s), and under no legal obligation to even allow third party anything (viewers, financial capabilities, marketplaces, etc.). Of course sl is a monopoly, right now, all of sl is a monopoly, as there is nothing just like it anywhere in the world, but monopolies aren't illegal in and of themselves, in fact, most aren't. Antitrust laws aren't designed to punish successful companies who happen to corner a market, especially one that literally has no competition. In order to be illegal the company MUST be run on predatory and exclusionary acts that harm companies with similar interests (which doesn't include marketplace alone..it would have to include the whole of sl as a product..so, like opensim for example, and not a marketplace designed for use in opensim..the WHOLE entity matters, not a singular component). Any company could come along and make something just like SL and LL would have no recourse should the other product/company end up dominating over SL (it hasn't happened yet..I won't say it won't happen, but...eh..lots have tried, so..) LL doesn't limit the creation of other products similar to SL. What they limit and disallow is third party creations like the MP-which require explicit use of SL property, and that isn't illegal (anywhere in the world). For it to be illegal, there has to be a legal law in place that disallows it, and there is not. There is no law that says "you have to let people outside of your company provide a product that works within your platform to allow users more choices", because there is no law that says "you have to allow users choices". Unfortunately, antitrust is not what this is. In order to allow the creation, implementation and use of a third party marketplace type solution, LL has to allow a certain amount of access to company (LL's) assets, and that would actually null the legal complaint of monopoly because then that third party solution becomes a partner and/or subsidiary of LL itself..you can't monopolize your own company. If they were under legal obligation to allow third party anything, LL would not have been able to stop people from being able to purchase lindens (money) from third party sellers. It is because disallowing third party sellers/offerings of...(insert whatever, marketplace, money purchasing, etc.) is not a legal requirement of LL, that this was possible. It was fought, and it was fought hard when it first started happening (for many years you could purchase lindens in numerous different places-helpful for people that couldn't use the then existing but somewhat limiting methods). There are also US laws-the very specifics of which I do not remember in their entirety, but it amounts to "fraud prevention" and applies to FAR more than just LL and SL...plus, that's even more complicated) . LL was not found to be breaking antitrust laws then...it most definitely won't fly here (I wish it did). I am not saying I like it any better than anyone else, or that I think LL should keep teetering just on the edge of things. Nor do I think LL makes the wisest decisions (I think all of their decisions surrounding MP are bad, actually, and getting worse and I WISH they'd relinquish control of it to someone that's more prepared..but I digress..). I am simply saying...this is what we have, this is what we have had for years, and there is nothing that is going to change that, or make it illegal, as it stands now.
  11. It's a straight up misunderstanding of how to use filters and an overactive ego of whoever is randomly adding crap to the filter just because. A properly created and implemented filter wouldn't catch words that aren't trademarked or copyrighted at all. Converse is not now, nor has it ever been trademarked or copyrighted, not even when associated with footwear (some consider the latter a grey area, but from a legal standpoint...it's actually not). You can't arbitrarily add words to filters and claim i's for legal purposes...that in and of itself violates copyright and trademark laws
  12. LL refuses to allow third party sites like this. They stopped allowing it when they shut down onrez and took over Slex(which became Xstreet). It won't matter how much we rally, LL will NOT allow this, period. It's been tried several times, LL manages shutting all ideas down before they even get past alpha. LL has big pockets, no one stands a chance at trying to fight this anymore...which is SAD as hell (and makes me angry, I'm sure I'm not alone in that). LL claims it's to reduce potential abuse, potential overcharging of residents, and people skimming off the top but...well...here we are, LL doing exactly what they said they wanted to prevent years ago.
  13. There is a myriad of ways to advertise for free. Charging for one method does not, to me, sound like a punishment, just a piddly revenue stream that probably won't amount to a whole lot of revenue. I'm not a premium member either, so if I had to pay $50L to advertise an event, and I could not afford that amount-or even didn't want to pay it, I would use the free methods available to me both inworld, and out. I find a lot of useful, fun and interesting things to do that way, even just through looking at profiles and doing searches (mostly through searches, inworld and out). Charging residents for advertising, as LL does in different methods already, is a means for them to make money, they always have been. Every single way LL charges us for something, is a means for them to make money. I doubt anyone could reasonably say otherwise, it's a basic tenet of business, really. Don't have to like it...but, you also don't have to use advertising methods that charge. Some of the places in events would stand well on their own without the event listing, as someone else suggested. They may even get more visitors, imo, by avoiding the event calendar until the dust settles, or permanently. They might not too, but I think it's worth a try, and won't cost anyone anything, which may well make it easier for people who really don't have the $L to list multiple events each week. It would be nice if LL could find methods to bring in revenue that didn't come from residents, but I think that's an unrealistic pipe dream, at this point in time. LL doesn't have a good track record in that department.
  14. I don't know if it's still there, I do not use the LL viewer. but if you do, it used to be something in the debug settings.. If you do not have the advanced menu available.. go to Me > Preferences> Advanced Tab > Show Advanced Menu Advanced Menu> Debug Settings> AutoAcceptNewInventory is where it used to be located, as long as you can get the debug popup, you can type in the autoaccept to find it. It's on false by default.
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