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Tari Landar

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About Tari Landar

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  1. I would have to assume that any and all who did, and do, say that they get angry upset, or irritated, whatever words they want to use, about people who IM them out of the blue were both women and were only referring to men that do so. I didn't make that assumption, pretty sure I'd offend someone else if I did (I know it would actually, I did that once here..never again), and I've done enough of that for one night, lol. I also don't presume to know the orientation(s) of others, though, that too would be pretty offensive I think. Yes, I have actually had women (and men) get irate or irritated with me in IM because I dared say hello, especially in a public place, and while it's rare that(or at least I think it's rare) that they assume I meant "hello, can I get in your pants?" (I've had more partners of people I have talked with make that assumption than people themselves...people get real damn possessive of others in sl for some reason), them getting irate, even irritated at my hello is rather stupid to me, they may have reasons, but I can't possibly know them when I strike up a convo, so I only have my opinions to go on. I have had people assume it meant I wanted to sleep with them, though, and that assumption is a bit offensive, no matter how rare, no matter who makes the assumption. I'm willing to bet guys run into this problem more frequently than women. Like Skell mentioned...some even have to include disclaimers because...presumptions. I've had people IM me with similar disclaimers before conversing, especially when working on different lengthy projects inworld because it happens so frequently to them that they feel it's necessary..I find that a bit sad. No one should need those disclaimers. I, personally, read profiles before talking to people, always have, even people who talk to me first, are nowhere near me, whatever..I open profiles, it helps in lots of ways. But I still can't always know who will and won't welcome an IM. It's weird, to me, to get mad at me for what I can't possibly know. (or anyone else for what they can't know). But maybe I have conversed with far too many people inworld over the years to begin with, lol, that's entirely possible. People that get irritated with others for simply IMing them without asking first in local do confuse me a bit, even if I understand they may have reasons an respect that they have reasons. I don't understand why some people seem(ed) so angry, or bothered, by people who really are just wanting to strike up a conversation with them. I think, and perhaps I am wrong in this, that for folks who really are very bothered by IMs, either using the ban hammer of all options and disallowing such from non-friends(some would say harsh, but I do actually get it, some folks need this option and it's there for good reason) or simply ignoring people is the best option, and would probably end whatever uncomfortable position the receiver felt he/she was in (which I DO understand, whether or not I experience it as often, I understand that my mileage is not your mileage, your mileage is not my mileage, and others' follows suit). (though some of my, what probably came across more as animosity, regarding the adult bit came from getting stupid IMs-which went to email I might add, I wasn't logged in, lol- in world from someone ranting and raving about how frequently they get propositioned and blah, blah, blah,.... and telling me ffs on repeat...it got annoying as all get out, not the first time, and I'm kinda tired of being told ffs all the damn time by the same people. I know I can be annoying and annoyingly verbose too, but the ignore feature works super well)
  2. I already stated my peace on the rest (ie, IM versus local), the convo has pretty much morphed, well, titled or shifted a bit maybe, not sure what term to use here... as they all tend to. I am not undercutting all of their reasons for not wanting IMs from people, I undercutted ONE reason, and I said why I was undercutting it, because I find it to be an offensive reason with absolutely no basis. I also stated precisely why I find it offensive. Others have also given examples of why those presumptions tend to cause more harm than good. I did state, multiple times now, that people have many reasons for the communication choices they have made-as it pertains to IM versus local chat. You probably missed that in my walls of text, lol. I do understand that our preferences vary greatly, and I appreciate that aspect of communication in sl. I actually appreciate reading others opinions too, on lots of things. Even if they make me even more wary of communicating with others, I can appreciate that they are others' preferences and why they have them. I have seen one too many people say "if you IM me, I'm going to assume...." and I have conveyed that this approach can make communication far more difficult for others. I do not, will not, and cannot, appreciate the idea that if I IM someone, they are going to assume I'm doing to so get in their pants. While I am, quite often, staunch in my positions, I am almost always willing to adjust how I feel as I get more evidence suggesting I should. On this matter, however, I won't, because that would mean I'd need to concede to the notion that I would ever IM anyone for adult purposes...and I would not. I said it pertained to me not to everyone else, lol. I think that's a very stupid assumption to have right out the gate of anyone, but to have it of me is extremely offensive to me. I also think having negative assumptions of people before they even say hi isn't exactly going to bode well for most people either, but how I feel about their choices when dealing with others is probably irrelevant to most people. I care how they feel about interactions with me, though. Others probably don't care if everyone they IM thinks they want to sleep with them. Good for them. I do care, though. Why is it wrong for me to be bothered by people assuming I want slex if I dare IM them?
  3. You seem to have missed the posts where exactly that was said Well, before it was edited out and verbiage changed to not seem so off kilter real quick anyway But, yes there are/were posts that say folks who IM them will get shut down on the premise that these IMs must all be adult in nature. That's a bit difficult to swallow. Although even the mere idea that most people who IM others "out of the blue" have some kind of bad intent from word go, is pretty insulting, and I don't know how to best convey how insulting it really sounds without being insulting myself. It's one thing if you have proof, like you said, someone asking about your rl boobs-yeah, that's likely what they want. I don't know how anyone can presume to know the reason people IM out of the blue without the person who is doing to IMing offering some kind of evidence, though-it's a bad presumption. Being overly cautious, and a bit wary of some, or hell even all folks, I do get, entirely. People can be wary and cautious for all kinds of reasons-I am not judging all of those reasons, I am merely judging the "everyone wants me" reason. But, like I said, that's my mileage and my problem to deal with. It may be a weird thing (to others) for me to be offended by, but I'm not too big headed to admit that it is indeed something I find overly offensive with no sound reasoning behind it, knowing that most people probably couldn't give two left nuts about your (general) pixel bits or getting a pickle tickle out of a greeting. There are plenty who do, and would...but most..nah, they really aren't all in sl for that, lol. I really, really, really don't like people assuming I'm IM-ing them because I want slex-I would never, from anyone-so ANYONE that assumes that of me..in my mind, is being an absolute....(insert your own explicative, lol) . It does make me far less likely to want to interact with anyone, in any way. It can be hard enough to communicate and convey tone, intent, people with the wrong idea of everyone right out the gate aren't helping any, lol. I'm not sure how to explain it without being super offensive, and I've been really trying not to be. It was a funny (maybe not haha funny, but...funny interesting) topic at one time, but now..knowing that if I IM any number of people in this thread-or anywhere else in sl, they're going to think I want their pixel bits..... 🤢🤮 I'll stick to wandering the grid by myself and enjoying my bunnies. Y'all can keep your IMs
  4. I haven't tried this yet, and you just reminded me that I haven't, maybe I should Wait, this isn't a premium only thing, right? If so..oh well If not, yay
  5. I'm not a dude, but you said it better than I did. The fact that disclaimers like this are necessary, and are growing at an exponential rate it seems-from anyone, regardless of gender, is, well, frankly, sad. I do fully understand some of the people who have essentially said "I don't like being messaged out of the blue..but I'm not going to be a jerk about it, I just don't like it". They have their reasons for not liking it, and I really don't want to seem judgmental of those reasons. I too have gotten plenty of unwanted IMs over the years-some of the more adult nature, some just absolutely annoying but harmless otherwise. They can be unpleasant as the day is long, and figuring out how to deal with them if you get them frequently, is likely problematic for some. I will, and am admittedly being, very judgmental of some of the arrogance I've seen (not just here, I've seen people inworld say this stuff too). It's the automatic assumptions about others' intentions, with no proof whatsoever, that get under my skin. This is especially so when they come from people who are constantly saying "don't judge me", well, fool, don't think I want your pixel bits either just because I say hi, or Im you for any other reason. I promise you that I don't, and I doubt the rest of the grid does either, NO one in sl is that amazing, lmao. (I mean, there are some amazing people, but..come on, lol) I do care about people that have been hurt, or have experienced things (health related things included) in rl to the point that it negatively affects communication they have with others, which is why I really don't want to seem offensive towards that aspect. It's the whole "everyone must want me" part that really makes no sense at all. It's also the part that forces people to not want to communicate with others, need disclaimers...'meh, I I probably should've left this topic a while ago Skell said it better
  6. Keep it simple silly-first rule of business This isn't rl, the flashy nature of .gifs won't likely win you any contests here, or anywhere in sl. People can, and will, very easily, abuse the privilege of such attributes (you and I may not, but you and I are not everyone..don't assume we are, though I'm not convinced you won't based on that image). Yes badly created .gifs will indeed bog down some systems, assuming they won't tells me you don't know a whole hell of a lot about them, and how people use them. It doesn't matter what you think modern technology is capable of if you don't really understand how people, or even components utilize it. This has nothing to do with bringing things into the 20th century, especially given the fact that using such graphics for one's "business" was more of an earlier 2000s thing than it is a damn near 2020 thing If you really like the idea, propose it correctly where it should be proposed and people can assist you to try and get it going. Posting here and insulting anyone that has an opinion is probably going to be more detrimental to your business. That may be why you got your JIRA shot down, if your approach was anything like this thread, it would rub everyone, including LL, the wrong way.
  7. I'll have you know I am at a pc, with pac-man pj pants, a mr potato head shirt and that's bbq sauce, I think 😛 I'm waiting for lunch lmao
  8. I can fully understand some mindsets around the idea that IM may not be the most welcome way to initiate a conversation, and the reasons behind some of those mindsets. Most of those make perfect sense, even if they may not be MY ways, I get them. And no, I don't know of any single way or place where anyone is entirely safe and/or comfortable meeting new people. Even people I know who seem to meet new friends everywhere, have their moments too. I appreciate seeing others' opinions on those things. What I can't wrap my head around, and don't appreciate, is the mindset that gives one idea that anyone and everyone that ever dare send an initial IM, is looking to get in someone's pants. Such would require a level of self importance that I can't wrap my head around. I am not immune, or ignorant to the the issues that can plague one after having very bad, horrid, haunting, damaging rl experiences that make associations with others difficult on a good day (no one needs anyone's personal history to understand this, well no one that has a modicum of intelligence doesn't need to). People do have different preferences as far as communication is concerned. That's what I have always thought, and I have been careful in my interactions with people because of it. But to assume you're so damn important and awesome that everyone who even says hi wants to sleep with you, that's some...I don't know how to put it nicely without insulting people I really don't want to insult. Maybe someone else can better explain it, since clearly I'm not the only one wondering wtf, lol. I just don't want people automatically assuming the worst of me at all times for no damn good reason, it's far more rude than my merely saying "hello". People automatically assuming the worst of people might have way more to do with why people communicate less than ever, too, god forbid someone offend another person with a greeting
  9. The only thing this thread has accomplished for me, is reiterating my belief that I should never talk to anyone, ever Yay
  10. I bet that's where the owner stores her/his alts Then again, there are some "clubs" (I couldn't possibly use that term more loosely), groups and other sims that people pay for access to and they think makes it exclusive, awesome, amazing, well made, well run, and a host of other...word salad. To most others, however, it probably means you've got more pocket lindens than good sense But, 'tis their money, and I prefer not to judge them about what they spend their pocket lindens on, I waste mine on pixel animals.. so I try not to judge people's spending (I just snicker when others do)
  11. Yeah ^that IMs aren't always a preconceived pants portal, unless you're hanging out places where such actually is (most places aren't, ftr). I promise you, there isn't anyone in sl who is so important than anyone and everyone that sends them an IM, no matter the subject, wants to sleep with them. Hearing people say that just makes me feel even less inclined to talk to anyone I don't already know, ever -because...ugh, why the hell do I want people thinking that about me? I assure you....if I send you an IM, even if I really, really, really, really like you, or you're a really, really, really nice person...I don't want to sleep with you, ever. (I have no idea why that notion actually made me mad, but it did). Had to take some words outta that text And Ftr, I STILL prefer local to IM, unless it's a busy place, we're talking about something others don't need or want to read, or we're nowhere near each other. I just don't quie get the assumption that all IMs are automatically evil people looking to sleep with you. I have a strong feeling that's directly related to the fact that I don't automatically (or at all) assume anyone does (hubby notwithstanding, he's allowed to be a perv, it's welcome 😛 )
  12. My answer is the same in both cases So Yes
  13. Those are definitely delicious, and I haven't even tasted them. I may have to go to Aldi next time I'm out and about I never hide snacks from myself, I'm too sneaky, I'd just find them anyway.
  14. Your english is fine Make sure she has her settings to allow adult items. On MP, there is an easy way to test this. Have her log in, and on the top where the search is, see if she has allowed all three settings (general, moderate and adult). I have seen people change that setting on accident before, it's an easy fix. If she can buy adult items but cannot receive them, she may need to put in a support ticket to have it fixed.-this is way less common now, but an easy fix for LL.
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