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1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said:

You don't have to betray yourself to not be a troll. You don't have to be abusive to be true to yourself.

There has to be deliberate malice to be a troll, and a lack of authenticity regarding the desire to be part of a community:

One who posts a deliberately provocative message to a newsgroup or message board with the intention of causing maximum disruption and argument
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LittleMe thinks that someone just can't stand it if she isn't constantly the center of attention - hence some of these totally odd and unneeded threads.  

How about stop promoting yourself as "porn" and starting threads that are just extensions from other threads (ie this topic was touched upon in the naughty pics on Flickr thread).   I haven't see

This is an even weaker excuse for starting yet another thread all about you than the "hey guys, is it all right to take intimate photos of people who don't know I'm doing it?" one. I do get it. Y

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1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well good. I'm glad you don't hate her.

But you didn't answer my question....why do you hold an incident over someone's head when they've apologized for it? Why bring it up again unless your motivation is to trash them?

I was pointing out to YOU that being called a troll was not the greatest insult

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3 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:
6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well good. I'm glad you don't hate her.

But you didn't answer my question....why do you hold an incident over someone's head when they've apologized for it? Why bring it up again unless your motivation is to trash them?

I was pointing out to YOU that being called a troll was not the greatest insult

There is no greater insult than telling someone they are basically not there at all.  Making them invisible...totally devaluing them.   Accusing them of being totally fake, with malice as their only motivation.

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10 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I value honesty, being genuine. So yes, calling someone a troll who is uncommonly sincere especially, is a great insult.

It's hard to take someone as being sincere when they flip flop in their responses which she seems to do quite a lot or put the blame on behavior/ethics/morals being different between RL and SL.  

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2 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

There is no greater insult than telling someone they are basically not there at all.  Making them invisible...totally devaluing them.

I am not going round in circles with you on this.  I couldn't give a fig if someone calls me a troll but inferring my disability would make me feel less than human devalues me.  

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Oy. Seriously. Enough for this one. I'm going back to my reading on comparative religions. Seriously, that's what I'm doing. Being all studious, complete with notations. It is a nice counterpoint to the crazy in here (mine included).

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Just now, RowanMinx said:
13 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

I value honesty, being genuine. So yes, calling someone a troll who is uncommonly sincere especially, is a great insult.

It's hard to take someone as being sincere when they flip flop in their responses which she seems to do quite a lot or put the blame on behavior/ethics/morals being different between RL and SL. 

You have to remember she's pretty new to SL and was exploring the differences/similarities between SL and RL -- that was really at the basis of her question about morals in SL vs RL.

I don't personally see her as flip-flopping in responses, but rather see her as exploring and changing her beliefs when new info is supplied.  So I see her as being very sincere.

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2 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said:
6 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

There is no greater insult than telling someone they are basically not there at all.  Making them invisible...totally devaluing them.

I am not going round in circles with you on this.  I couldn't give a fig if someone calls me a troll but inferring my disability would make me feel less than human devalues me.  

I can accept that's how you feel.

For me, the name of troll is, like I said, the worst insult one could make -- someone saying I basically don't exist is far greater than any name they might call me.  And I'm imagining that for Pearl (who seems unusually open and sincere) this would also be a great insult.

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Everybody is going to judge others @Bagnu, no matter what they do. So if your friends are true friends, they won't even bother about others' opinions

Plus, who are we to judge other people's lifestyle? 

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90% of OP's posts make so little sense it's like something taken completely out of context of a random private IM. OP apparently thinks people on the forum are very familiar with who OP is and who her so-called friends are. It makes me assume she's just trolling for attention. I don't know what's with referring to herself in third person as well but it's cringey af, like something taken out of r/teenagers.

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5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

You have to remember she's pretty new to SL and was exploring the differences/similarities between SL and RL -- that was really at the basis of her question about morals in SL vs RL.

I don't personally see her as flip-flopping in responses, but rather see her as exploring and changing her beliefs when new info is supplied.  So I see her as being very sincere.

She's not new to the human race.  

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53 minutes ago, Pomeline Pancake said:

Oh no. Gotta eat my words.

I've been a silent lurker of the forums. Off and on for a few years. I enjoy reading what others post. Most of the time. This is my preferred way to people.

Nothing against bagnu personally. Simply her threads create many arguments. Needlessly. Some people have been upset to the point of leaving the forums. That's wrong. Even though I abhor attention and do my best to avoid it at all costs, I had to crawl out of my cave and speak my mind on this matter.

A lot of people are lonely. Including me. That's the reality of life. No amount of loneliness is a pass to treat others poorly.

In fact constantly sowing discomfort or pain (even if unintentional), and telling others to just accept it is bordering on abuse.

Around the world people are experiencing stress from Covid, and other matters. Unnecessary fighting feels worse than it would normally.

Even though I read from afar, I'm tired of it.

I did not say if one is lonely, it's okay, anything goes. 

I brought it up because I was wondering about it, but, if this is loneliness as to why the attention seeking, she needs to see a real life counselor.  She needs to take care of herself first.   I can only point out that I see and feel some red flags.

Going over the same stuff over and over in some of these threads isn't healthy for anyone though, but I feel this thread is heading for a lock anyhow.  

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19 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Well good. I'm glad you don't hate her.

But you didn't answer my question....why do you hold an incident over someone's head when they've apologized for it? Why bring it up again unless your motivation is to trash them?

I'm not Cindy, but I'll answer for me

I do it because people keep insisting we shouldn't have been offended by it, and shouldn't still be, as if they are the authority on what is and is not offensive. I also do it because the whole premise for that entire debacle was later revealed by Bagnu to be a fabricated lie, and that irks me. It was intentionally offensive AND not true. Sometimes words have consequences, and these ones, admittedly, are my own problem (me being offended that is). Only I can tell myself not to be offended, no one else gets to do that for me.

Still doesn't mean I hate her.I do actually loathe that entire incident, and what was said, because it stings like hell. 

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9 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:
16 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

You have to remember she's pretty new to SL and was exploring the differences/similarities between SL and RL -- that was really at the basis of her question about morals in SL vs RL.

I don't personally see her as flip-flopping in responses, but rather see her as exploring and changing her beliefs when new info is supplied.  So I see her as being very sincere.

She's not new to the human race. 

That's true. I don't know what happened but haven't you encountered those in SL who insist it's just a game and so certain morals you have shouldn't matter.  I just bet so many guys tell her "oh, what we do is just a cartoon, and my wife won't care", or "oh, she won't be hurt if you post that pic cause this isn't real".    Like I said, I don't know what happened to her specifically, but I do know these people who insist SL is only a game so they can do what they want without consequence.  I saw Pearl asking her questions as an attempt to get feedback from others on the matter and never a desire to simply do what SHE wants as a person without morals.

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18 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

That's true. I don't know what happened but haven't you encountered those in SL who insist it's just a game and so certain morals you have shouldn't matter.  I just bet so many guys tell her "oh, what we do is just a cartoon, and my wife won't care", or "oh, she won't be hurt if you post that pic cause this isn't real".    Like I said, I don't know what happened to her specifically, but I do know these people who insist SL is only a game so they can do what they want without consequence.  I saw Pearl asking her questions as an attempt to get feedback from others on the matter and never a desire to simply do what SHE wants as a person without morals.

Unfortunately, I didn't see it that way.  I saw it for wanting validation to do something she knew was wrong AND attention.  If you'll remember later in her post she said

 

On 8/26/2020 at 8:50 PM, Bagnu said:

Because of the artistic aspect. If I knew it would hurt someone, I would never post it. I'm not asking a moral question. It's about pure erotic photography, and on Flickr, not here. No SL friend or family member would be hurt by the images I'm talking about.

She already knew the answer to her question.  So why ask if not for attention or to have someone say, "Oh yeah, go ahead and do it since it's only SL".  And it sure as he** WAS a moral question.  I'm all for defending those wrongly accused but I feel you're just doing it to go against the mainstream.  

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1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

You didn't!!!

Damn, I have to grab a screenshot for my wall before it disappears!

Lots of what you say here is true, to one degree or another, although I'm still on the fence about Pearl's motivation here. It might help that I've interacted with her in-world as well, so I'm not seeing just this face of her.

Again, I'm really not here to defend her: she's clearly, at the very least, stumbling about like a drunken bull in a china shop. But I do think, again, that the response here -- 11 pages and counting? -- is disproportionate to the "sin." And I think she's genuinely a good person, and she sincerely wants to be friends with people.

But, she needs to fight her own battles, and, hopefully, learn from them. I still have faith that she will -- but again, that's up to her.

Genuine not so much as she postef yet another thread earlier titled "Pearl seeks attention" sh!tting on everything her opposer's have said.

Thankfully that thread was locked and removed entirely after the first three or so posts.

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15 minutes ago, So Whimsy said:

Genuine not so much as she postef yet another thread earlier titled "Pearl seeks attention" sh!tting on everything her opposer's have said.

Thankfully that thread was locked and removed entirely after the first three or so posts.

I still see that one up.

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8 minutes ago, RowanMinx said:

I still see that one up.

Oh damn really? I checked earlier and it wasn't anywhere to be found and I just had a 504 error, too. Screwy forums today. (Though I could have totally overlooked it, too.)

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Just now, So Whimsy said:

Oh damn really? I checked earlier and it wasn't anywhere to be found and I just had a 504 error, too. Screwy forums today. (Though I could have totally overlooked it, too.)

I just got that error, too.  Log ins were down earlier so there must be a gremlin somewhere.

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at the risk of being unpopular, Bagnu isn't a "victim", the impression I get is they are merely trying to bypass the advertising regulations to flount their "trade".

 

I've done my part, alerted Governance, blocked any future posts from appearing, and now I'm off to enjoy a beer and hopefully some comical posts to laugh at.

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I'm not so much irritated as I am generally confused by trying to figure out what the topic actually is, or in some cases, why the thread was started.  

I think Scylla's comment about "stumbling about like a drunken bull in a china shop" is apt.  If one really does want attention or to be noticed, there are more nuanced ways to do so  in ways that do not cause irritation or offense or confusion, and could be a positive addition to the forums.   I don't know if being "the controversial" one is really a mark of honor.

When I see comments that indicate there would be a different type of response to something in-world than here in the forums, it makes me wonder which is the roleplay and which is real - especially when those are followed by "I am what I am" type comments later in the thread.

My take on the forums is that there is generally a genuine desire to help people who come here with questions, especially those who are new to SL, or returning after a long absence.  We also understand that we're dealing with real people behind the keyboard, and I think that when we're not sure whether the behavior and attitude we see here is the real deal or is a made-up persona, it may grate on some of us.    

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