Where do guys with "normal" average, ordinary avatars hang out in Second Life?

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

Hello, 

As a proudly tall woman who prefers much shorter men, a few months ago I was looking for shorter men in particular and I made a forum post discussing this matter:

https://community.secondlife.com/forums/topic/458807-where-to-meet-cute-shorter-men/

It was an antidotal reaction to the widespread presence of the tall, muscular, hyper-masculine, hulking brutes you see seemingly everywhere. 

In the end, I established that guys with particularly short yet adult avatars (not kids) which served as a reflection of who they were, personality-wise and more or less in reality were exceptionally rare, limited to a small number of groups specially catering to short guys, tall women, or both. Most people in these groups aren't online very much, and I've basically exhausted these groups, having met most of the active members and not having a good experience with some. 

So I'm now wondering;

Where do men with ordinary, average-looking "normal" avatars tend to hang out? The ones who aren't so muscular, tall and hyper-masculine, yet not particularly short (that is, much shorter than the default avatars you sign up with and much shorter than most human avatars you see, but not being a tiny or a child)

Where are all the skinnier guys, the cute Asian boys (not femboys) and those guys who don't have six-packs, massive arms and sharp, chiselled jawlines? 

Where are all the prim, modest, anodyne, intelligent, sweater-wearing types who look like a young Mr Rogers, Yves Saint Laurent or have a Clark Kent likeness or persona? (as opposed to Superman) 

Where are those with flabby cheeks, messier and simpler hair, guys who are overweight or obese and don't mind showing it in-world? Where are those with disabilities and other insecurities they aren't afraid to show?

Much older men with matching avatars also tend to be naturally more prosaic in appearance as they grow shorter and have visible wrinkles...

So where can I find folks with avatars like this?

It does seem that every now and then I do come across people like this, far more often than I think, far more often in general, and especially more often than men who are particularly very short. But still not as often as I'd like, compared to everyone else, who has a big, overpowering avatar.

They tend to be much simpler or plainer in appearance or have very basic avatars and I have seen them among other places in airports, train stations, hospitals, intellectual places like discussion centres, spiritual sims, camping sites, and roleplay communities.

New people also tend to be like this, but they then feel the need to eventually turn into those massive Hulk Hogan or He-Man clones as they learn more and improve their avatar.

I've also noticed many of these people with these simpler avatars have been Second Life residents for at least 9-12 years. I suspect the modesty and comfort in themselves comes from the experience - they don't need to dominate every situation or overpower others with their excessive confidence and are comfortable with who they are; thus, the avatars reflect this. 

So how can I increase my chances of encountering folks like this? Where do they tend to congregate? What are some good places or groups for this?

 

Thank you all so much,

 

- Charlotte Sinclair

Edited February 22, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Alwin Alcott]

17 minutes ago, LottaSinclair said:

 I've basically exhausted these groups, having met most of the active members and not having a good experience with some. 

so you didn't learn that appearance doesnt matter... and people are who they are, no matter their looks.
Go out and date a guy that has a way of connecting you like. All other things don't matter.

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

3 hours ago, Alwin Alcott said:

so you didn't learn that appearance doesnt matter... and people are who they are, no matter their looks.
Go out and date a guy that has a way of connecting you like. All other things don't matter.

I have also noticed that appearance does (not always, but more often than not) seem to have a correlation with how people tend to behave. It's normal to behave in a way that corresponds to how you look and present yourself; like a billionaire playboy in a suit, a 1950s housewife, a janitor, police officer,  escort, lecturer, an Arab prince or a scientist in a lab coat. There's a reason why some men don't like hanging out with males in dresses with makeup on, and some women don't like hanging out with guys whose appearance and profiles are tuned to show off their overt sexuality (think leather/latex suits and exposed genitals)  Obviously like most people I would want to hang out with someone with an appearance I prefer, instead of spend time in a place around lots of guys whose appearance (and behaviour) turns me off. That's just natural. In this case I prefer something that might not be as common, and that's absolutely fine.

Edited February 22, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Rowan Amore]

1 hour ago, LottaSinclair said:

I have also noticed that appearance does (not always, but more often than not) seem to have a correlation with how people tend to behave. It's normal to behave in a way that corresponds to how you look, like a billionaire playboy in a suit, a 1950s housewife, a janitor, police officer,  escort, lecturer, an Arab prince or a scientist in a lab coat. There's a reason why some men don't like hanging out with males in dresses with makeup on, and some women don't like hanging out with guys whose appearance and profiles are tuned to show off their overt sexuality (think leather/latex suits and exposed genitals)  Obviously like most people I would want to hang out with someone with an appearance I prefer, instead of spend time in a place around lots of guys whose appearance (and behaviour) turns me off. That's just natural. In this case I prefer something that isn't as common, and that's absolutely fine.

They don't hang out in any specific place.  There are all types in most places I go.  From one extreme to the other and everything in between.  If they aren't where you hang out, hang out somewhere else.  It's exactly the same with women.  All types, big and small, thin and not thin, in literally every place you can go.  I can honestly say I've never been to a place where all the men are huge.  There is always a variety.

[Alwin Alcott]

1 hour ago, LottaSinclair said:

I have also noticed that appearance does (not always, but more often than not) seem to have a correlation with how people tend to behave

 

2 hours ago, LottaSinclair said:

As a proudly tall woman who prefers much shorter men,

related?

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

1 hour ago, Rowan Amore said:

They don't hang out in any specific place.  There are all types in most places I go.  From one extreme to the other and everything in between.  If they aren't where you hang out, hang out somewhere else.  It's exactly the same with women.  All types, big and small, thin and not thin, in literally every place you can go.  I can honestly say I've never been to a place where all the men are huge.  There is always a variety.

That largely hasn't been my experience. At clubs, ballrooms, parks, towns and cities where I like to hang out especially; usually there's plenty of girls, perhaps some kids depending on the place and the rest are either non-human avatars or the aforementioned tall muscular men. The average-looking avatars are few and far between. Perhaps I still haven't been to enough places, but I get mostly the same thing everywhere I go. If I didn't have this issue, I wouldn't be posting here, looking to find out how I can expand my opportunities and the likelihood of meeting someone who fits my preference and taste more. 

Edited February 22, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Garnet Psaltery]

You could try hair shops.  I was trying on a hairdo yesterday when I noticed an avatar older than mine, not very tall, glasses, slightly messy hair, and modest facial hair, in smart casual attire.  He could have been about to sign his latest novel.  Before I could send him an IM, remarking on how nice it was to see someone who'd been around longer than I have (and it was, although it was also an excuse to chat) he'd gone.  Alas.

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

16 minutes ago, Garnet Psaltery said:

You could try hair shops.  I was trying on a hairdo yesterday when I noticed an avatar older than mine, not very tall, glasses, slightly messy hair, and modest facial hair, in smart casual attire.  He could have been about to sign his latest novel.  Before I could send him an IM, remarking on how nice it was to see someone who'd been around longer than I have (and it was, although it was also an excuse to chat) he'd gone.  Alas.

Thank you, Garnet 😄

I've never thought of that before; I usually don't have much success meeting people while shopping; I think it's common to mostly ignore people and not disturb them while they shop.

Was it just the one guy? It might have just been pure luck that he was there... I don't recall there being people like that at hair shops that much; maybe at body shops like Slink where folks are looking at avatars and parts to try on and purchase? I would also think they would be at those "newcomer friendly" places, but I have hardly seen them at all thus far.

Edited February 22, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Garnet Psaltery]

14 minutes ago, LottaSinclair said:

Thank you, Garnet 😄

I've never thought of that before; I usually don't have much success meeting people while shopping; I think it's common to mostly ignore people and not disturb them while they shop.

Was it just the one guy? It might have just been pure luck that he was there... I don't recall there being people like that at hair shops that much; maybe at body shops like Slink where folks are looking at avatars and parts to try on and purchase? I would also think they would be at those "newcomer friendly" places, but I have hardly seen them at all thus far.

Well, yes, it was just the one.  He appeared after a sleazy type who tried to hit on me, so it's hit-and miss.  I suppose I'm just saying interesting people could be anywhere.   Good luck in your search.

[Bree Giffen]

I see average looking male avatars all the time around shopping events. They are all crowded around the single vendor that is selling a product for men. 

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

8 minutes ago, Bree Giffen said:

I see average looking male avatars all the time around shopping events. They are all crowded around the single vendor that is selling a product for men. 

Haha, I've never seen or noticed that before; I'll keep an eye out next time 😉

I don't usually go to men's stores just because every time I've been to them, it's full of dominant male types, even some aggressive, unpleasant ones every now and then. At least that's been my experience. As for shopping events, it's mostly women there. The guys can be a little more toned down, not so steroid-filled, but I still see more of them than not. 

Perhaps there are average looking male avatars there because they are looking to shop for items to improve their look. That does seem logical; I'll keep a look out for them.

Thank you, Bree. 😄

Edited February 22, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Rat Luv]

I think there are far more regular looking guys on SL now, compared to what it was like in the early 2010s, when quite a few went for the Dog the Bounty Hunter look 

If you like the music, indie/alternative clubs might be worth trying?

Edited February 22, 2021 by Rat Luv

[Marianne Little]

If you go to a store like Contraption, you see average height and slimmer males who take great care of their appearance. They are in Victorian/ steampunk attire and often have canes and/or prosthetic limbs.

But not the steroid-munching gym rats.

If you see a man you like, he could be my alt or the alt of another women who are tired of the standard males and made one or more male alts for models or just to play dress-up with.

I have both older gent with fine wrinkles and grey hair, fair red-haired with freckles, slim asian but not femboy, and dark skinned but not rapper/drugdealer/pimp avatar.

They don't hang around in world much. They were a guilty pleasure when I spent a lot of money on my 3D Ken dolls, just to get some nice males around me.

[Garnet Psaltery]

11 minutes ago, Marianne Little said:

If you go to a store like Contraption, you see average height and slimmer males who take great care of their appearance. They are in Victorian/ steampunk attire and often have canes and/or prosthetic limbs.

But not the steroid-munching gym rats.

If you see a man you like, he could be my alt or the alt of another women who are tired of the standard males and made one or more male alts for models or just to play dress-up with.

I have both older gent with fine wrinkles and grey hair, fair red-haired with freckles, slim asian but not femboy, and dark skinned but not rapper/drugdealer/pimp avatar.

They don't hang around in world much. They were a guilty pleasure when I spent a lot of money on my 3D Ken dolls, just to get some nice males around me.

Many of them are actual males but only interested in males.  I mean, looking that good?  

Edited February 22, 2021 by Garnet Psaltery

[Ceka Cianci]

You might be better off posting a thread on the Lifestyles and Relationships section of the forums or the Make Friends section of the forums.. There are always people looking for other people in those two sections..

You might have better luck.

[Arduenn Schwartzman]

You could also ensnare a noob and convince them to dress up to your liking. Catch them when they're fresh and malleable.

[Silent Mistwalker]

7 hours ago, Rat Luv said:

I think there are far more regular looking guys on SL now, compared to what it was like in the early 2010s, when quite a few went for the Dog the Bounty Hunter look 

If you like the music, indie/alternative clubs might be worth trying?

I always thought they were going more for the Flabio, I mean Fabio look.

 

🤭

 

[Jaylinbridges]

13 hours ago, LottaSinclair said:

Where do men with ordinary, average-looking "normal" avatars tend to hang out?

Probably where the women are not giants.  Most men prefer women that are the same or shorter than them. It's not cool to go dancing with a tall women that looks like your pro basketball player mother, dancing with her 8 yr old son.  

There is a trend toward shorter women avatars in SL today.  You will find shorter men with them, for "compatibility" issues.

And remember those giant hulk avatars are in real life, short, fat, old and hairless with tiny body parts.

 

[Ren Toxx]

The hangouts I visit, like London City, have all sorts, including completely non-human avatars. Thing is, whilst I too am very tall and several guys do comment on it, it’s always in good fun, like even tall ones saying I make ’em feel short, and one—a friend—being wary of ever inviting me to dance, arguing I’d either hypnotize or choke him with my bews (which happen to be exactly at his eye level), depending how close the dance. All in good fun indeed. If there’s any who wouldn’t talk to me because of my height (or, for that matter, my feistiness), that’s just as well, since I wouldn’t want to talk to them either. I don’t, for a fact, care in the slightest about looks, nor do I have any problem with more timid people, as long as they don’t have any problem with me. If they do, well, SL is big, so we needn’t cross paths.

[Orwar]

   Then as now, I can't speak for 'short men' as it isn't really an organised congregation of people (unless my invite got lost in the mail!). My avatar is, by SL standards, short - enough so to warrant repetitive comments about it from various people. According to my shape, my avi is 182 cm, which is just slightly shorter than my RL height; I picked it because I found it easier to produce a more proportionate avatar, especially using the Gianni body without ending up a muscle-mountain (since it's the one that has most support - as much as I'd love to use Geralt, I haven't found much clothes for it). 

   For me, my go-to hangout places are my skybox or my photo platform. Except when I get dragged out of there by friends, or when I go to work, or occasionally for shopping (though I tend to browse event galleries before bothering to actually visit them - too many laggy people, textures, and weirdos at events!).

   Though I hardly qualify as 'cute'.

 

 

[TheLadyofCarlisne]

Thank you so much everyone for once again posting some genuinely insightful answers.

Let me address some of your answers once more:

17 hours ago, Ceka Cianci said:

You might be better off posting a thread on the Lifestyles and Relationships section of the forums or the Make Friends section of the forums.. There are always people looking for other people in those two sections..

You might have better luck.

Thank you, Ceka. I did originally post a thread in the Lifestyles and Relationships section as I was looking for a partner in particular. I still am but now I'm also looking for friends and just people in general to meet. I'm interested in this topic of discussion in general; I want to see where certain people and avatar types tend to gravitate towards and why - it's not necessarily a lifestyle thing anymore or a relationship I'm solely interested in. I'm not looking for focused advice on how to make friends; I just want to know where all the people whom I've described tend to be, and how I can increase my likelihood of meeting them, so I can better enjoy my time in Second Life.  I've provided a link to the original thread I made a few months ago in this one if anybody wants to take a good look at it and build upon its context. 

Here I'm not necessarily looking for one singular avatar type in particular, (short men, cute boys, etc.) but as far as male human avatars go, anything, absolutely anything other than those brawny, burly bodies you see in almost every guy in every place. If they exist, they must be somewhere, even if on the periphery.

At the time there seemed to be more replies to threads in this section than in the other sections, so I thought I would try my luck and put it here. The more quality answers I get, the better.

15 hours ago, Arduenn Schwartzman said:

You could also ensnare a noob and convince them to dress up to your liking. Catch them when they're fresh and malleable.

Haha, Arduenn 😄 

That is certainly an option; I have occasionally helped newcomers get better quality items for their avatar before, but every noob still has been a rare chance encounter for me; it's more of a matter of where and how to find said noobs. If you know a place where I can find plenty of noobs or how I can increase my likelihood of encountering one, do let me know because I don't know where they go or how to find them. I'm wondering if there are any shops, any particular brands or shopping locations they tend to gravitate towards, or any other places they would be, logically speaking or otherwise. From my experience, they certainly don't tend to be in those "newcomer friendly" hubs like NCI Kuula; those are often filled with residents who have been in SL for 9-12 years again, perhaps reminiscing about their time "back in the good old days" and who tend to have more detailed, much taller avatars... not necessarily mesh, but not often that basic and noob-like. Quite a few of them are also of that buff-guy stock and character far more often than not.

11 hours ago, Jaylinbridges said:

Probably where the women are not giants.  Most men prefer women that are the same or shorter than them. It's not cool to go dancing with a tall women that looks like your pro basketball player mother, dancing with her 8 yr old son.  

There is a trend toward shorter women avatars in SL today.  You will find shorter men with them, for "compatibility" issues.

And remember those giant hulk avatars are in real life, short, fat, old and hairless with tiny body parts.

 

As far as I've seen, there are only a handful of places where women ARE "giants" and an incredibly vast number of places where women are shorter. We're like unicorns; we're even rarer than those male avatars who don't fit the hyper-masculine strong man paradigm, who are still common enough to have multiple occasional chance encounters with, but not ubiquitous enough to actively search for with much chance of success, unlike more established types, such as femboys, anime characters, gay men or possibly even people of certain nationalities (it's easier to find people from England or Germany than people who don't have avatars that aren't even slightly muscular) 

In my regular time in Second Life, I have been to a relatively diverse number of places from airports, music lounges, roleplay towns to gay clubs and BDSM places where submission can often be marked by a desire for physical contrast between dominant and submissive, male and female (or otherwise) - it's almost always the same. Shorter women and taller, muscular men everywhere, with very few exceptions, little variation. "Trend" or otherwise, it's seemingly unchanging.

I had the privilege of being in a close-knit group community of presumably Second Life's tallest female avatars (with the exception of giantesses) where shorter guys were adored and our height was a source of celebration, pride, power and sisterhood, not something to be questioned, ridiculed, shunned or gossiped about, either overtly or covertly. Still incredibly tall by usual Second Life standards, I was often the shortest among all of the women there and I have never again met anybody else in any place or community who were as tall and proud as we were. I felt at home, at ease and welcomed for who I was at heart. But as soon as I stepped out of that place and spent time doing things I enjoy in the mainstream, "normal" side of SL, I faced questioning, disapproval, discrimination, pernicious disbelief and a lack of understanding. I adjusted my height so that I would look more realistic and less likely to shock and make people uncomfortable, but I would make sure that wherever I go, I would be tall as or taller than the tallest person in any given place (almost always a man; if women everywhere are, sometimes comically, almost always shorter, there should at least be ONE that isn't, and if men are almost always characteristically taller than everyone else, why shouldn't there be someone who is as tall, or just slightly taller than them? Why shouldn't that person be female? Who sets these eternal rules in stone?)

In such a world (real life, but also unluckily Second Life) in which most men prefer women that are shorter or at least no taller than them for whatever reason and most women prefer men that are taller for whatever reason, what is a woman who is taller than all their typical counterparts as well as the men around them to do? Especially if they happen to have an uncommon and unpopular preference for those shorter than them?

I like for my differences to the norm to be a point of pride in such a homogenous world; to challenge the status quo with myself and my relationships when everyone is often so visibly or subtly uncomfortable with women being taller than them or a man being shorter than them. Without risk of sounding like some feminist social justice warrior, why conform, when you can be an example for diversity and inclusivity? Why should it be uncool and questionable to dance with someone, perhaps someone you love, just because you're taller than everyone else, and they look like a timid teenager who just finished high school? The same goes for older people, overweight people, or people with disabilities like my boyfriend.

It can be quite difficult to remember that those giant hulk avatars are indeed, short, fat, old and hairless with tiny body parts. When everyone is so perfect, I want to see that there are people like that, who present themselves in such a way that reflects that, and be able to seek out and meet them. Where are they? Where do they go? Where and how can I find them?

10 hours ago, Ren Toxx said:

The hangouts I visit, like London City, have all sorts, including completely non-human avatars. Thing is, whilst I too am very tall and several guys do comment on it, it’s always in good fun, like even tall ones saying I make ’em feel short, and one—a friend—being wary of ever inviting me to dance, arguing I’d either hypnotize or choke him with my bews (which happen to be exactly at his eye level), depending how close the dance. All in good fun indeed. If there’s any who wouldn’t talk to me because of my height (or, for that matter, my feistiness), that’s just as well, since I wouldn’t want to talk to them either. I don’t, for a fact, care in the slightest about looks, nor do I have any problem with more timid people, as long as they don’t have any problem with me. If they do, well, SL is big, so we needn’t cross paths.

Thank you for your insight, Ren.

Yes, guys do comment and joke all the time about my looks, and it is all in good fun... but it does get very old and I would rather try and find some people who don't fit the normal paradigm at least for once every now and then. Someone who likes me for who I am and how I am, if not particularly... For me, the contrast is often an element for bonding and intimacy in a relationship and a point of connection and understanding in a friendship. If I can better find and connect with communities or folks like that who do have a flaw or two that they'd like to share and are comfortable with themselves and with me, then all the better. I would rather have my SL time be filled with more of those folks than the tired short woman, bigger and more muscular man narrative that everyone else prefers.

Lastly, thank you Orwar; for responding once again and providing your insight. I can appreciate a different perspective, although I'm trying to bring the conversation away from my other post to expand on other types, not just continuing it and focusing in on it until it's exhausted.😉 

Edited February 23, 2021 by LottaSinclair

[Karl Herber]

On 2/22/2021 at 5:51 AM, LottaSinclair said:

So I'm now wondering;

Where do men with ordinary, average-looking "normal" avatars tend to hang out? The ones who aren't so muscular, tall and hyper-masculine, yet not particularly short (that is, much shorter than the default avatars you sign up with and much shorter than most human avatars you see, but not being a tiny or a child)

Where are all the skinnier guys, the cute Asian boys (not femboys) and those guys who don't have six-packs, massive arms and sharp, chiselled jawlines? 

Where are all the prim, modest, anodyne, intelligent, sweater-wearing types who look like a young Mr Rogers, Yves Saint Laurent or have a Clark Kent likeness or persona? (as opposed to Superman) 

Where are those with flabby cheeks, messier and simpler hair, guys who are overweight or obese and don't mind showing it in-world? Where are those with disabilities and other insecurities they aren't afraid to show?

Much older men with matching avatars also tend to be naturally more prosaic in appearance as they grow shorter and have visible wrinkles...

So where can I find folks with avatars like this?

It does seem that every now and then I do come across people like this, far more often than I think, far more often in general, and especially more often than men who are particularly very short. But still not as often as I'd like, compared to everyone else, who has a big, overpowering avatar.

After almost 15 years in SL, and 14 of those years with a male avatar, and male in RL, I can confirm that guys like this are evenly distributed in any non-adult groups. They're in groups that follow DJs and clubs (especially ones playing old-fashioned music like jazz or 1960s themes). Groups for educational or charity organisations.  Groups for hobbies. Literally anything and everything that's non-sexual (and not fashion/shopping-related either). What you will not find is any groups specifically and solely for guys like that, because we don't tend to congregate with each other based on appearance. We're far more likely to group up based on a shared interest.

You are right that most of the people who don't care about their appearance are often the ones that have been in SL a very long time. They likely are in SL for a specific purpose; teaching or building or running a business, and do nothing else in SL besides that one thing. This is probably why you can't find them - most of them will be permanently on their home building platform or in the private region where their educational/business establishment is located.

Flabby cheeks, messy hair and overweight avatars you will not find because they are not easily available in Second Life. Well, there is ONE overweight male body on sale, but anyone using it clearly cares a lot about his appearance (ie spending money on it and making an effort to deliberately look like that) rather than the "I don't care about my appearance at all" types. Same goes for guys with older-looking avatars. It takes a lot more money and effort to make an avatar look older than it does to make one that's the default. Guys that truly don't care will have default classic avatars and starter avatars which are generally taller than average and either slim or muscular.  

It's my experience that most guys who are in SL for a specific purpose (like education or building or whatever) do not want to waste money on their avatar so they are limited to whatever they can find for free, which these days is very little. If a tall, muscular imposing freebie shape and skin is what they find, then that is what they will have. It's not because they necessarily WANT an avatar like that, it's because the alternatives are too expensive, or too difficult to find, or too complicated to be worth the extra effort. 

TLDR: If you want to find a man like that, get involved in a non-adult hobby or special interest, learn about it, get involved in SL, meet people in-world. The number of guys like that you'll find in adult regions and sex-related or hook-up groups will be about zero. 

The only exception to this in general will be gay guys and groups. Gay men are often more focussed on a particular type of guy that they're looking for (bears, twinks, daddies for example) so you do sometimes find groups for gay men that are appearance-based. But they will not be interested in you. 

[Rowan Amore]

4 minutes ago, Karly Kiyori said:

After almost 15 years in SL, and 14 of those years with a male avatar, and male in RL, I can confirm that guys like this are evenly distributed in any non-adult groups. They're in groups that follow DJs and clubs (especially ones playing old-fashioned music like jazz or 1960s themes). Groups for educational or charity organisations.  Groups for hobbies. Literally anything and everything that's non-sexual (and not fashion/shopping-related either). What you will not find is any groups specifically and solely for guys like that, because we don't tend to congregate with each other based on appearance. We're far more likely to group up based on a shared interest.

You are right that most of the people who don't care about their appearance are often the ones that have been in SL a very long time. They likely are in SL for a specific purpose; teaching or building or running a business, and do nothing else in SL besides that one thing. This is probably why you can't find them - most of them will be permanently on their home building platform or in the private region where their educational/business establishment is located.

Flabby cheeks, messy hair and overweight avatars you will not find because they are not easily available in Second Life. Well, there is ONE overweight male body on sale, but anyone using it clearly cares a lot about his appearance (ie spending money on it and making an effort to deliberately look like that) rather than the "I don't care about my appearance at all" types. Same goes for guys with older-looking avatars. It takes a lot more money and effort to make an avatar look older than it does to make one that's the default. Guys that truly don't care will have default classic avatars and starter avatars which are generally taller than average and either slim or muscular.  

It's my experience that most guys who are in SL for a specific purpose (like education or building or whatever) do not want to waste money on their avatar so they are limited to whatever they can find for free, which these days is very little. If a tall, muscular imposing freebie shape and skin is what they find, then that is what they will have. It's not because they necessarily WANT an avatar like that, it's because the alternatives are too expensive, or too difficult to find, or too complicated to be worth the extra effort. 

TLDR: If you want to find a man like that, get involved in a non-adult hobby or special interest, learn about it, get involved in SL, meet people in-world. The number of guys like that you'll find in adult regions and sex-related or hook-up groups will be about zero.

The only exception to this in general will be gay guys and groups. Gay men are often more focussed on a particular type of guy that they're looking for (bears, twinks, daddies for example) so you do sometimes find groups for gay men that are appearance-based. But they will not be interested in you. 

I wouldn't discount adult regions.  I was at a spa club the other day and the majority of male avatars were of average height and build.  Surprising also, most had proportional genitalia.  I'm not including ALL adult places though.  Some do attract a lot of new people or old people who haven't updated in 10 years and only log in for the "sexy times".  Those seem to always be giants with equally giant male bits usually standing at attention.  

[Karl Herber]

43 minutes ago, Rowan Amore said:

I wouldn't discount adult regions.  I was at a spa club the other day and the majority of male avatars were of average height and build.  Surprising also, most had proportional genitalia.  I'm not including ALL adult places though.  Some do attract a lot of new people or old people who haven't updated in 10 years and only log in for the "sexy times".  Those seem to always be giants with equally giant male bits usually standing at attention.  

Actually you reminded me of another, though it's going back a few years. I went to a Victorian-themed adult roleplay which required avatars to be properly sized and proportioned. I only went the one time because they required a substantial fee to join the group for full access, and it went out of business after a short while. I guess not enough people wanted to pay that much.

[Solar Legion]

As far as height and proportion goes .... If ya don't mind non-human avatars, there's a fair few that try to pay attention to such things in the varied non-human communities.