SL NEGLECTING harassment, chat sharing & stalking !

[Nareemz]

hello i have been none stop being stalked and harassed by my ex gf , i have reported her many times as she does it to my main and alt 

but nothing has been done about it , now she has shared chat to my real life friends and shes looking for my brother on discord , i have reported her many times for breaking the rules 

stalking harassing and sharing chat with everyone and im sick and tired of this abuse im a human being and there is only so much i can take and second life has proved to me it doesnt care

, second life doesn't care about harassment stalking or people sharing your intimate details as i have report her many times so be warned people second life doesnt care about me or you otherwise they would have done something about it 

[Seicher Rae]

Sometimes the reports take time to process, especially with COVID slowing things up everywhere. Also, LL will not tell you if they have acted on your complaints. You will not be notified.

In general, LL has no authority over things outside of LL, so things happening in other parts of the Internet and RL are not covered by LL's TOS.

If you are being stalked in RL, depending upon where you live there may be RL law enforcement options available to you.

[LittleMe Jewell]

25 minutes ago, Nareemz said:

hello i have been none stop being stalked and harassed by my ex gf , i have reported her many times as she does it to my main and alt 

but nothing has been done about it , now she has shared chat to my real life friends and shes looking for my brother on discord , i have reported her many times for breaking the rules 

stalking harassing and sharing chat with everyone and im sick and tired of this abuse im a human being and there is only so much i can take and second life has proved to me it doesnt care

, second life doesn't care about harassment stalking or people sharing your intimate details as i have report her many times so be warned people second life doesnt care about me or you otherwise they would have done something about it 

If a stalker has crossed over into RL, then report them to the RL authorities.  Otherwise, the best way to handle them in SL is to block them and then find somewhere new to hang out for a while.  Usually, if they get no reaction/feedback from you they will get bored and stop.

[Nareemz]

i see what your saying about the stalking fine understood but what about chat sharing hows she not being punished for that 

[Beth Macbain]

2 minutes ago, Nareemz said:

i see what your saying about the stalking fine understood but what about chat sharing hows she not being punished for that 

Where is she sharing your chat? You mentioned RL friends and Discord... LL have no say in anything that happens with those platforms.

[kali Wylder]

1 minute ago, Nareemz said:

i see what your saying about the stalking fine understood but what about chat sharing hows she not being punished for that 

If she is sharing it outside of SL there is nothing LL can do about it. The TOS only governs what happens inside of SL.

And as was said before, LL will not tell you what actions they take based on your AR.  They may or may not have done something about whatever has been done in SL but you won't know either way unless she tells you and it doesn't sound like you are speaking to each other.

[LittleMe Jewell]

4 minutes ago, Nareemz said:

i see what your saying about the stalking fine understood but what about chat sharing hows she not being punished for that 

How do you know she is sharing the chat logs?  If she is simply telling people "Nareemz said blah-blah-blah", she is not in violation of anything.  

[ItHadToComeToThis]

I think it’s a case of throwing a dart at the dartboard and if yours gets hit they deal with it and the rest go in the bin. I say this because I know quite a few griefers who regularly crash sims and harass others that have been reported hundreds if not thousands of times over the last 10 years. And yet, they are still active, their accounts not banned, and still crashing sims. Go figure

[Lindal Kidd]

I have a new Paranoid Theory.  I think those long-term griefers are actually LL employees.  They're there to give us all something to complain about, because if we weren't complaining about THEM, we might be complaining about LL.  More than we do now, I mean.

[Adamburp Adamczyk]

You *could* just keep an eye on the info for the Governance User Group meetings.

 

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Governance_User_Group

 

ie when the next meetings are etc.

 

One thing I've noticed personally, is the Governance Lindens DO listen to you here, and will advise you on the "correct" way to report stuff to them.

[Tolya Ugajin]

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with this person, but if anything is happening OUTSIDE SL, the Lab will not (and in almost any event can not) do anything about it.  Even if it's happening inside SL, what they can do is limited (and in most cases they'll just default to their, "we don't get involved in interpersonal disputes" line).  Nor will they tell you what, if anything, they have done - so for all you know they've done everything they can or are inclined to do, and it was ineffective.  You can mute them, ask your friends to mute them, go to places where they are banned or where they cannot find you (note, it is impossible to hide truly your online status so they will always know you are on, unless it's an account they do not know) and eventually they will tire of their juvenile game.  You could create an alt, but unless you're willing to start completely over (including cutting contact with all your old SL friends) eventually this person will probably find you again, if they are motivated.  If their behavior in RL meets the definition of stalking in your locale, you can and should report it to the authorities and perhaps they can help.

The supposed prohibition on sharing chat is a giant canard, anyway.  What is the point of prohibiting sharing chat logs when one can simply relay what was said by paraphrasing the conversation?  Heck, one could simply read the chat log in voice and there'd be no record anything was shared.  Or one could clip it and send it via email, skype, discord, or smoke signals for that matter, the whole, "well if it's shared it OUTSIDE of SL, that's not LL's problem."  Or, heck, one could claim the person gave you permission in voice or via RL means.  Even Congressional ethics rules don't have as many loopholes as LL's "no sharing chat logs" rule.  Also, why would anyone believe a shared chat log when it is ridiculously simple to fake them, and by sharing the log the person is demonstrating to the person they are sharing it with that they have zero regard for privacy and confidentiality, and so not someone to be trusted? 

Somewhere in the depths of time some whiny person with a high school mentality complained about this to the right person and behold, a new rule that there is no serious intention to enforce, and which creates never ending drama, rather than just forcing people to act like adults and behave as they would in RL when dealing with gossips and busybodies.  I tell people feel free to share my chat logs, but if you share something you should have known NOT to share, then by all means I'll give someone a doctored chat log wherein they asked for me to dress in a clown suit and give them wild monkey butt love while I call them "Melania" and spanking them with a toilet brush.

Did someone slip LSD into my coffee again?

[Scylla Rhiadra]

14 minutes ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

I'll give someone a doctored chat log wherein they asked for me to dress in a clown suit and give them wild monkey butt love while I call them "Melania" and spanking them with a toilet brush.

Actually, I'd pay for this.

And double, if you can fabricate pics.

[LittleMe Jewell]

3 hours ago, Adamburp Adamczyk said:

You *could* just keep an eye on the info for the Governance User Group meetings.

 

http://wiki.secondlife.com/wiki/Governance_User_Group

 

ie when the next meetings are etc.

 

One thing I've noticed personally, is the Governance Lindens DO listen to you here, and will advise you on the "correct" way to report stuff to them.

Unfortunately, many folks in the US actually have to work during the same time that LL works, so attending inworld meetings is just not possible.  For others, it is their middle of the night and so they'd have to get up in the middle of their normal sleep time -- and if they have to work after normal sleep time, then getting up in the middle of it for a meeting is not really an option.

 

It would really be nice if there was a way to submit comments & questions to the different teams.  LL doesn't need to answer them personally or even address them all in the meetings.  However, if they get the same comment/question from multiple folks over time, that might indicate to them that it is something they should look at or address.

 

[Beth Macbain]

14 minutes ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

It would really be nice if there was a way to submit comments & questions to the different teams.  LL doesn't need to answer them personally or even address them all in the meetings.  However, if they get the same comment/question from multiple folks over time, that might indicate to them that it is something they should look at or address.

Now that I'm working from home until the end of time it seems, I'd love to attend some of these different user group meetings, but the only info on the website says they're held bi-weekly, or something like that, but it doesn't tell me what week, or I'm looking in the wrong place (highly likely). @Kristin Linden... is there one today? And y'all expect me to be able to convert to military time AND Second Life Time?! During a pandemic?! OH MY SWEET CHEESES! 

... counts on fingers and toes... 13:00 is 1:00 pm... SLT 1:00 pm is 4:00 pm in EST... or is it 2:47 a.m...  

Yes, I realize now that today is Wednesday and, in fact, not Tuesday.

...sighs...

Edited April 29, 2020 by Beth Macbain
I don't know what day of the week it is.

[Sassy Kenin]

I think you should contact the FBI to resolve the matter.

[ItHadToComeToThis]

2 hours ago, Sassy Kenin said:

I think you should contact the FBI to resolve the matter.

Yeah, that’s going to sound super isn’t it. “Yes, hello there agent. I would like to report an act of cyber terrorism. Details of the incident?, of course. So, it all started yesterday after I logged into my spanky new Belliserrian home. There I was tending to the urgent needs of my family, when some rotter by the name of “TotallyNotAGriefer99” floated *****es through the walls at us, right in front of my two small children. Needless to say I was horrified and my children scarred forever. What?, how old are my children?. 6 months in second life but 42 in real life. It’s the horror of it though!!, then they hopped in my IM box and told me to buy new hair as my current hair made my head resemble a pineapple!. I want to make a full report immediately and I demand the most thorough of investigations!.”

[Sassy Kenin]

5 hours ago, ItHadToComeToThis said:

Yeah, that’s going to sound super isn’t it. “Yes, hello there agent. I would like to report an act of cyber terrorism. Details of the incident?, of course. So, it all started yesterday after I logged into my spanky new Belliserrian home. There I was tending to the urgent needs of my family, when some rotter by the name of “TotallyNotAGriefer99” floated *****es through the walls at us, right in front of my two small children. Needless to say I was horrified and my children scarred forever. What?, how old are my children?. 6 months in second life but 42 in real life. It’s the horror of it though!!, then they hopped in my IM box and told me to buy new hair as my current hair made my head resemble a pineapple!. I want to make a full report immediately and I demand the most thorough of investigations!.”

It's just opinionated advice, we have no idea the full details but from some of the details there are some laws are being broken ..The OP at the very least can have civil court options.

Edited April 30, 2020 by Sassy Kenin

[Seicher Rae]

5 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

Yes, I realize now that today is Wednesday and, in fact, not Tuesday.

...sighs...

Edited 5 hours ago by Beth Macbain
I don't know what day of the week it is.

Wait. Wut? You mean there are still separate days of the week? I thought they had all been consolidated into Whateverday. 

[Seicher Rae]

6 hours ago, Tolya Ugajin said:

Did someone slip LSD into my coffee again?

One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you, don't do anything at all

Go ask Alice, when she's ten feet tall

And if you go chasing rabbits, and you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a hookah-smoking caterpillar has given you the call...

 

or perhaps

 

Will you have whiskey with your water
Or sugar with your tea coffee
What are these crazy questions
That they're asking of me
This is the craziest party
That there ever could be
Oh, don't turn on the light
'Cause I don't want to see...

[Seicher Rae]

7 minutes ago, Sassy Kenin said:

It's just opinionated advice, we have no idea the full details but from some of the details some laws are being broken ..The OP at the very least can have civil court options. they are no different then you or I in feelings or emotions but most importantly the have equal rights too.

Wait... you were serious about contacting the FBI? That's a bit hyperbolic. Based on the OP we have no idea what is going on, but several comments have stated that there might be something local agencies might do. That would be the place to start. Also the FBI assumes the OP is American, which is quite possibly not true.

[Sassy Kenin]

7 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Wait... you were serious about contacting the FBI?

Yes if it's determined the criteria has been met or needed.

 

This disclaimer informs readers that the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author's employer, organization, committee or other group or individual.

Edited April 29, 2020 by Sassy Kenin

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Sassy Kenin said:

This disclaimer informs readers that the views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author's employer, organization, committee or other group or individual.

Gah, that made me laugh! Thank you (sincere).

[Dano Seale]

You need to get this all sorted out once and for all mate. Arrange a meeting with your ex to discuss your mutual problems like adults.....preferably at a lonely spot with a very deep water feature and lots of heavy items that aren't nailed down!

If you need any further advice? Gimme a shout. 

[Selene Gregoire]

On 4/29/2020 at 10:11 AM, Beth Macbain said:

Now that I'm working from home until the end of time it seems, I'd love to attend some of these different user group meetings, but the only info on the website says they're held bi-weekly, or something like that, but it doesn't tell me what week, or I'm looking in the wrong place (highly likely). @Kristin Linden... is there one today? And y'all expect me to be able to convert to military time AND Second Life Time?! During a pandemic?! OH MY SWEET CHEESES! 

... counts on fingers and toes... 13:00 is 1:00 pm... SLT 1:00 pm is 4:00 pm in EST... or is it 2:47 a.m...  

Yes, I realize now that today is Wednesday and, in fact, not Tuesday.

...sighs...

West coast is 3 hours behind EST, 2 hours behind CST and one hour behind MST.

It is earlier here than it is there. The time now is 12:37 PM. The time there is 3:37 PM.

As for maritime... no effing way can I make that change. Give me analog or give me death! 

Edited April 30, 2020 by Selene Gregoire

[Marigold Devin]

On 4/28/2020 at 11:26 PM, Nareemz said:

hello i have been none stop being stalked and harassed by my ex gf , i have reported her many times as she does it to my main and alt 

but nothing has been done about it , now she has shared chat to my real life friends and shes looking for my brother on discord , i have reported her many times for breaking the rules 

stalking harassing and sharing chat with everyone and im sick and tired of this abuse im a human being and there is only so much i can take and second life has proved to me it doesnt care

, second life doesn't care about harassment stalking or people sharing your intimate details as i have report her many times so be warned people second life doesnt care about me or you otherwise they would have done something about it 

Linden Lab aren't our mum and dad, they're not the headteacher at school, they're not the police. They are limited as to what they can do, and they expect us to take responsibility for our own lives.

What we have in Second Life is the ability to be quite anonymous, and if we share too much information with someone, because we feel we love them and trust them enough, then unfortunately if a relationship/friendship sours, and you were hooked up with a loony tune all along, this is the consequence - and it is bloody awful for sure, and you do have all my sympathy, even though I have sounded quite harsh and realistic so far.  

ANY attention you give to a stalker is encouragement for them. And in Second Life, we have the ability to mute/block. As the ex has gone further, and is trying to involve your real life friends, you can just tell them all (and they should be able suss this out for themselves as they know you much better than they know her and so should by default be on your side) to just ignore her.  But at no time, if it is all over between you and her, should you give her any conversation at all.

Linden Lab really can do nothing. If they were to suspend or delete your stalker's account, she could just carry on harassing you in real life, and then, of course, it does become a police matter.  Even when people think they are anonymous online, they can be traced.

But you need to STOP any communication with her. Block. Mute. Ignore. As much as possible. Stop poking the angry wasps' nest!