The Self Care Thread

[Marigold Devin]

1 hour ago, Tari Landar said:

Mine aren't very...hmm....normal, we'll go with normal, but there IS a method to my madness, albeit it a bit morbid as well. (sometimes morbid is nice, odd as that may seem)

1-Don't die- that one's super important, and it has nothing to do with the virus, the panic or fear surrounding it (despite both being currently ramped up), or really anything...it's something I do every day...try not to die

2-Be cranky -also very important because cranky means I haven't yet accepted that I shall die today. Cranky means I'm still worrying, thinking about, doing, noticing, paying attention to..and whatever else...other things, other people, other acts.  It keeps me on task for #1

3-Listen to music -music has always played a large role in my day to day doings, same with my family, we don't like quiet, and it is never quiet in this house. Even when everyone is sleeping, there is noise..and I love it. Quiet is too creepy for me. 

4-Allow my slightly obsessed with cleansing wipes child to re-cleanse whatever surfaces she so desires as often as she so desires, and not judge her.- I wouldn't judge her anyway, laughing isn't judging. Also, even though she's not really a child, child, but a bigger barely adult child...I call her a child, because she's my child and I call all my childs child. There now that we've settled that......she does this now and then with cleaning, not just cleansing wipes, they're just her new(er) thing. I make the wipes for her though, because otherwise she'd probably cause a chemical reaction none of us needs to deal with. It's not an OCD thing, it's just a her thing. I can't say I mind when she chooses to clean things at random just because she has nothing better to do. Right now it's sort of a form of entertainment, I take mental bets with myself on what she'll end up doing each day. So far, I'm winning.

5- Binge watch whatever the hell I want to. -This is kinda an everyday thing, so.....eh, it still counts 😄

6-Take my damn vitamins. -Ugh...I so loathe myself sometimes...friggen vitamins....at least they're gummies.  You can also include the other meds I need with this, I loathe them just as much, and am just as much of a child when taking them (that part is both funny, and not..I am a grown ass adult...but my grown ass HATES medicine.so, I fight it, not even always internally)

7-Talk about stupid ***** with other people. -This is also an everyday thing, in my family, stupid ***** is never off the table, and we talk about all kinds of weird things. We had a two hour conversation about rabbit (ours, that is) and his remodeling that he's so fond of, and how we'd do it differently, iff'n we were lil fluffy butts that had a home that amounts to the size of your average full bathroom, complete with a gate, like he does. (ok, he's spoiled)

8-Fall down various buzzfeed, boredpanda and reddit holes at random times, just because.- I'm noticing a pattern here...I do this a lot too. 

9-Read things on forums, type up nasty replies and never hit send. -This might go along with #2, or it might be a daily thing, I dunno, but it oddly makes me feel better, so I do it. 

10-Be grateful I'm not high maintenance.- I really hope this one doesn't sound rude or condescending, but, I am, truly. I am a low maintenance kind of gal, all day, everyday, all the time. I'm more grateful for this now, because there is less I need to do, less I need to stock up on, less I need to worry about and probably some other lesses I can't think of right now. I actually have an odd (to me, maybe to others) amount of sympathy for people who are high maintenance normally, because this whole *****show has got to be throwing a wrench in their lives, and that is a bit sad for me.

11-Check in on other people.- This, more than anything, is important right now. Not just family, but also neighbors, people I grew up with and only am in contact with on facebook or email, people I don't even really know that well but might be concerned for, hell people I don't know at all, lol. Checking in on others, even if they're fine, helps bring a bit of rational calm to the ever brewing storm that is a product of whatever the hell has invaded my system. It balances out #2, too. I also send people to help people who need help, because I can't help people that need help, I can't even leave my yard, lmao. 

12-Procrastinating. -I have grown superbly keen of this in particular. I am procrastinating damn near everything I can, even if I don't need to, some things I force myself to. I am, in fact, supposed to be in here typing up part of a paper for class while I wait for meds to kick in so I can go to bed....I am not doing so, clearly. I'll write it tomorrow, ***** tomorrow is today now I forgot, or monday, it's not even due til monday night. This one probably lacks a method to the madness, it's just mad, but, I'm rollin with it nonetheless. 

Your post was long, but most enjoyable. Number 12 would be at number 1 for me I think. I have procrastinating down to a fine art. Example, I have been up since 8am, and still not done one thing that I was intending to. I could have had my cheque book balanced by now, all my floors mopped, carpets vacuumed, and had a bath. Instead I've flitted from one website to another, done a bit of Facebook stalking (about an hour of that), looked on rightmove for properties down in Sussex (hopes and dreams), and laughed my bum off looking at saucy postcards from yesteryear on another website.

Oh well, it is Sunday after all, and I have actually got this one totally off. I've made arrangements with my brother, so I can minimise contact with others, including him this day. 

A manicure beckons now (the cheque book - meh - it'll probably balance all by itself).  

[Maitimo]

3 minutes ago, Marigold Devin said:

Last Sunday was one of the most amazing days I can remember having for a very long time. It involved a drive to Derbyshire, and six miles of walking around Edale, Castleton, ending up at a smashing pub in Hathersage for an amazing Sunday lunch/dinner (it was 4pm by this time).  The only hint there was anything wrong in the world was a notice stuck on a coffee machine in the pub at Hathersage, and one young woman was wearing a mask in Castleton.

This Sunday would be a very different story. The pub of course will be closed until further notice.

But I feel sure a lot of the regular walkers will be there, hardy bunch that they are, with their packed lunches in their rucksacks.  

As you have been ill very recently, and are not even meant to be going back to work until Thursday, I would strongly urge you to remain at home. You are infectious and you could even relapse. 

Back garden/yard? For a picnic. A bit of running on the spot or star jumping or whatever for some warming exercises and to get back into fitness?  

 

 

I love Edale and Castleton and Hathersage.  We've spent many, many days walking around there. Probably been into that pub too.

Unfortunately I live in a small terraced house and my "garden" is ten square feet of concrete containing nothing but wheely-bins and a bit of building junk. I don't even own any outdoor chairs, or have any indoors that I could easily take outside.

[Marigold Devin]

Just now, Matty Luminos said:

I love Edale and Castleton and Hathersage.  We've spent many, many days walking around there. Probably been into that pub too.

Unfortunately I live in a small terraced house and my "garden" is ten square feet of concrete containing nothing but wheely-bins and a bit of building junk. I don't even own any outdoor chairs, or have any indoors that I could easily take outside.

Then a compromise. A drive to a beauty spot just to breathe in the air and admire the views - just don't mix with the 3D people just yet or overdo the activity. Your system needs to recover properly from your illness. 

(Pub in Hathersage - The Scotsman's Pack)

 

[Maitimo]

Just now, Marigold Devin said:

Then a compromise. A drive to a beauty spot just to breathe in the air and admire the views - just don't mix with the 3D people just yet or overdo the activity. Your system needs to recover properly from your illness. 

(Pub in Hathersage - The Scotsman's Pack)

 

Yes, that sounds like a great idea. 

[Raevyn Addams]

14 hours ago, Beth Macbain said:

I hope we can use this thread to get ideas and share the things we're doing, and to encourage each other to look after ourselves. 

So what are you doing to be nice to yourself today?

Showing kindness to others. It sounds easy enough but in practice it isn't easy. It takes effort to ignore the negativity and cope with the general paranoia surrounding us on all fronts right now. Online communities are notoriously toxic and lately there's no real safe haven to be had by logging offline either. So for the last few days I've have been trying to say at least one nice thing or say thanks to someone I otherwise normally wouldn't, both online and offline. I don't mean lip-service. I don't mean just repeating something hollow to fill my daily quota. I'm looking for reasons to be thankful where I normally wouldn't and trying to be more patient where normally I would just react. How does that help me? It helps put things back into perspective. Sure my day might feel crappy or stressful but I don't know for sure what anyone else is going through either. I hope I can make someone smile. I hope I can turn their day around. Maybe they don't feel so alone if even just a few short minutes. Thoughts like that make me feel better even if its to people I don't know and will never meet. In isolation and with all this uncertainty in the world a kind gesture or genuine compliment done in sincerity has to be the next best thing. If I feel like I'm helping and not hurting then that's a win for me too.

As a side point I've been a Disability Support Worker for the past 11 years and counting so while helping others is in my job description even for me it can sometimes be a struggle. Every day it's a work in progress. As my dad says after twenty years of sobriety and in AA, "One day at a time." 😁

[Marigold Devin]

2 minutes ago, RaeLeeH said:

Showing kindness to others. It sounds easy enough but in practice it isn't easy. It takes effort to ignore the negativity and cope with the general paranoia surrounding us on all fronts right now. Online communities are notoriously toxic and lately there's no real safe haven to be had by logging offline either. So for the last few days I've have been trying to say at least one nice thing or say thanks to someone I otherwise normally wouldn't, both online and offline. I don't mean lip-service. I don't mean just repeating something hollow to fill my daily quota. I'm looking for reasons to be thankful where I normally wouldn't and trying to be more patient where normally I would just react. How does that help me? It helps put things back into perspective. Sure my day might feel crappy or stressful but I don't know for sure what anyone else is going through either. I hope I can make someone smile. I hope I can turn their day around. Maybe they don't feel so alone if even just a few short minutes. Thoughts like that make me feel better even if its to people I don't know and will never meet. In isolation and with all this uncertainty in the world a kind gesture or genuine compliment done in sincerity has to be the next best thing. If I feel like I'm helping and not hurting then that's a win for me too.

As a side point I've been a Disability Support Worker for the past 11 years and counting so while helping others is in my job description even for me it can sometimes be a struggle. Every day it's a work in progress. As my dad says after twenty years of sobriety and in AA, "One day at a time." 😁

Regarding being a disability support worker, I know that can be frustrating. Some people are quite difficult to help, because of stubbornness, or because they have a point! They just don't like the help that is on offer, because it makes them feel more disabled, when they may be trying to just get on with life (I have been looking after my brother since he became disabled by a stroke 17 years ago and he is the most bull-headed person, leaving a trail of disability workers in his wake at times. Most have shaken their head, told me I'm doing a great job, and have left me to it!).

The kindness thing though - it really works. Every time I grumble, I have to find TWO positive things to say or do. The positive breeds more positive. Thinking negatively just brings more darkness in.

I received a random act of kindness yesterday, and it really floored me, it was so unexpected,especially in such a particular time of social meltdown madness.  

The key, I think, is not to jump to conclusions and have a knee jerk response when someone fires negativity or throws obstacles in our way. We don't know why people are the way they are, because we don't live inside their heads, and a lot of people are struggling massively with their own demons on a day to day basis.  

Your post uplifted me. That alone adds a positive feeling to my day, and hopefully I shall spread that feeling to a couple of others. 

[LittleMe Jewell]

5 hours ago, Matty Luminos said:

I suggested to my partner that we pack up a picnic and drive up onto the moors (Pennines) for a few hours of hill-walking, but he said he'd read that so many other people are apparently doing the same thing. Mount Snowdon had more visitors yesterday than any day last year. The National Trust opened up all their outdoor parks and properties for free, but they had such a massive influx of people they've been forced to close them again. I expect the city centre is quieter than the countryside today.  So I'll just go for a walk round here and see what my local park is like.

On Wed, it was announced that all entrance fees to all of the National Parks in Colorado would be waived, so that people who were "distancing" could at least possibly enjoy nature more.  Then, on Friday, due to large numbers of people not only going into Rocky Mountain National Park, but also overwhelming the small tourist towns, Rocky Mountain National Park was officially closed.  I'm not sure it has ever been fully closed before.

[LittleMe Jewell]

The mind is an odd thing. 

I am an isolationist.  For the past couple of months, I have been working from home anywhere from 3-5 days a week - which is definitely my preferred way of working. On the days that I work from home, I typically do not leave the house at all, other than possibly walking to the end of the driveway to get the mail -- though my husband is a mail fanatic and thus takes care of that 99% of the time.  Even with all of that 'staying indoors' during the week, I can easily stay inside all weekend also - and in the winter time, I typically do.  Even before I started working from home so much, I would often never leave my house after getting home from work during the week -- I would normally do the grocery shopping on my way home from the office.

Oddly enough, the mere fact that I should not be going anywhere, the fact that I should be staying at my own house, has me stir crazy - wanting to go out to sit & relax at a restaurant bar or such, doing the people watching that is one of my few 'out of the house' favorite pastimes.  Even if there was a bar restaurant open, there are no people out and about to watch right now -- or at least there shouldn't be. 

[Lindal Kidd]

Yes, it's the old, "if you suddenly are told you cannot do something, even something you never do, you feel deprived" trick!

This is one reason I am glad we have dogs.  I have an acceptable reason to get out of the house.

Call up the local rescue and get yourself a pupper!

[LittleMe Jewell]

46 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Call up the local rescue and get yourself a pupper!

Not so sure my kitties would like that.

[Elena Blossom]

A powerful mantra to bring mental balance and change fate to prosperity (no religious intend in this post, just sharing something that works for me)

 

[LyricalBookworm]

I have a compromised immune system so I've been at home mostly since this started. Last week, I scared my doctor by showing symptoms of Corona virus, but he later felt was a different virus. I'm on quarantine anyway since he and I both know I'm safer at home. He even brought me my meds and an inhaler which made me cry. ❤️

I've always tried to do different things for self care to balance out emotional, physical and mental well being. I'm at home mostly anyway. I'm spending lots of time with my furbaby! I have been getting a lot of rest. I binge watch my favorite shows and movies. I listen, sing and sign to my favorite music. Even play my guitar. I'm spending time  with loved ones in SL. I'm lucky my spiritual communities are active in SL as well. I'm spring cleaning. I'm doing some sewing projects I had been planning. I'm also planning on doing the mask challenge going around once I'm better and can disinfect my home since I know how to sew. It will help with the shortages of masks at hospitals. 

[Fauve Aeon]

1 hour ago, Elena Core said:

A powerful mantra to bring mental balance and change fate to prosperity (no religious intend in this post, just sharing something that works for me)

 

so beautiful!

I’ve been listening to gayatri mantra 30 minutes - Deva Premal
I can easily chant along. For me it’s relaxing, energizing, strengthening.

I have chanted it in SL at a live bardic circle too, it’s a good one for me.

 

[Elena Blossom]

2 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

so beautiful!

I’ve been listening to gayatri mantra 30 minutes - Deva Premal
I can easily chant along. For me it’s relaxing, energizing, strengthening.

I have chanted it in SL at a live bardic circle too, it’s a good one for me.

 

I love her voice, I can feel her healing and harmony vibes instantly

[FairreLilette]

1)  Cut my fingernails short....so less worry about them.

2)  Really cleaning and suddsing with soap and water between my toes and around my toenails.  

3)  Doing a bit of Spring Cleaning.  I always do that anyways.  I wear a dust mask because I am allergic to dust. 

4)  Little Treats:  I will buy a few things on SL I really think I can put to good use (meaning use a lot) and enjoy.   RL Treats:  Buying a few things I don't normally buy like chocolate cupcakes or a fresh baked donut.  I plan on trying a new vegan soap as soon as I get clearance for packages.  

5)  Deep condition my hair...it needs it.

6)  Take walks around the inside of my building and breathe...it helps my claustrophobia.  

[Lindal Kidd]

7 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

Not so sure my kitties would like that.

Aw...kittehs LOVE puppers!  Mostly.

 

 

[Fauve Aeon]

 

@Lindal Kidd , lol, Ensō is not that obscure or cryptic to get your confused reply!

This spiritual practice of drawing ensō or writing Japanese calligraphy for self-realization is called hitsuzendō (筆禅道, "way of the brush"). Ensō exemplifies the various dimensions of the Japanese wabi-sabi perspective and aesthetic: Fukinsei (asymmetry, irregularity), kanso (simplicity),  koko (basic; weathered), shizen (without pretense; natural), yugen (subtly profound grace), datsuzoku(freedom), and seijaku (tranquility). 
 

I do mine on my iPad or on this, it’s in my kitchen. It uses water. 
 

Edited March 23, 2020 by Fauve Aeon

[Seicher Rae]

I have to laugh (mostly at myself) when I read others who include some kind of cleaning or chores under "self care." I'm pretty much "eff that" as part of my self care.    Like @Cindy Evanier I'm trying to avoid annoying Forum threads and posters. @Fauve Aeon made me rustle through my skin care crap stuff and see what I can slather on my poor winter-dry skin. Maybe tomorrow. @Tolya Ugajin pretty much described how I'm handling things, although I'm not sure I even manage half-dressed. I also am not binge watching Star Trek, but am about ready to finish up Season 15 of Supernatural. I also splurged and rented/watched Parasite. Such a good movie, and I didn't even mind the sub-titles. @Tari Landar had me laughing out loud with her list, by the time I got to #2. I've sent "I'm Alive" emails to my bff every morning for a few years now, kind of in jest and kind of not, so Tari's #1 rule is, well... yeah. Don't die. That's important. Being cranky is too. I've written a couple of zingers to some of the annoying Forum posters and then have deleted them. Adulting is so hard, but also important.

I read this thread to get some ideas of what else I can do. Music for sure is one I need to do more of, along with chair dancing. 

For someone who enjoys putting up her dukes, @Beth Macbain is being pretty good at coming up with peaceful, caring OPs. Well done, Beth. ♥

Am I the only person who Googles self-care and sarcasm together?  I can't stand the gooey "uplifting" Facebook type images, but I love a good sarcastic laugh. Self-care.

 

 

[Fauve Aeon]

10 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

but I love a good sarcastic laugh. Self-care.

Sometimes a body just needs cheap wine and a Moon Pie 🥧 🤣

eaten in bed...

[Lindal Kidd]

23 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

 

@Lindal Kidd , lol, Ensō is not that obscure or cryptic to get your confused reply!

This spiritual practice of drawing ensō or writing Japanese calligraphy for self-realization is called hitsuzendō (筆禅道, "way of the brush"). Ensō exemplifies the various dimensions of the Japanese wabi-sabi perspective and aesthetic: Fukinsei (asymmetry, irregularity), kanso (simplicity),  koko (basic; weathered), shizen (without pretense; natural), yugen (subtly profound grace), datsuzoku(freedom), and seijaku (tranquility). 
 

I do mine on my iPad or on this, it’s in my kitchen. It uses water. 
 

Thank you very much for the detailed explanation!  However, I seem to be extraordinarily dense when it comes to apprehending Japanese culture...by which I mean, it confuses the heck out of me.  This saddens me, because I think it is a very beautiful culture...but after reading your explanation, I'm pretty much just as confused as ever!  I do get that you're doing something that you find soothing and spiritually satisfying, and I'm glad you do!

Edited March 23, 2020 by Lindal Kidd

[Seicher Rae]

13 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

Ooooh. Are those yours? I wonder if I have brushes...

Although an (almost) entirely different thing, this reminded me of Chungliang Al Huang's calligraphy, such as 

 

 

[Fauve Aeon]

6 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

Ooooh. Are those yours? I wonder if I have brushes...

Although an (almost) entirely different thing, this reminded me of Chungliang Al Huang's calligraphy, such as 

Yep, with Apple Pencil in Markup. I have a Budda board in the kitchen for closer to the real deal. Have another, lol. 

 

[Seicher Rae]

2 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

Yep, with Apple Pencil in Markup. I have a Budda board in the kitchen for closer to the real deal. Have another, lol. 
 

I have never heard of a Buddha Board, and so Googled it. Wow, that's cool and very [various Asian philosophies] that it disappears on evaporation.

[Fauve Aeon]

14 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I do get that you're doing something that you find soothing and spiritually satisfying, and I'm glad you do!

That’s the important part. I didn’t post it to be cryptic, just to show how sometimes something so simple as a very a basic drawing form can be soothing and a form of good self-care. I color with markers too but I was too lazy to take a shot of that...and the marks on the Budda Board disappear as they dry...so I posted these that were already sitting in my camera roll.😉

[Fauve Aeon]

6 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

I have never heard of a Buddha Board, and so Googled it. Wow, that's cool and very [various Asian philosophies] that it disappears on evaporation.

Before I got it I used a dry erase marker on the freezer door. 🤣