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The Self Care Thread


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18 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

I seem to be extraordinarily dense when it comes to apprehending Japanese culture...by which I mean, it confuses the heck out of me.  This saddens me, because I think it is a very beautiful culture...but after reading your explanation, I'm pretty much just as confused as ever! 

After a month in Tokyo, Osaka and Kyoto in my teens, I came away from Japan with a very different "appreciation" of their culture. I witnessed men reading graphic/violent misogynistic porn openly on the trains, offering my Father the service of prostitutes during business dinners, and mistreating the young woman who escorted Mom and me around Tokyo. For every Japanese treasure she showed us, she inquired about life in America, where she dreamed of moving to escape the oppression of Japanese society.

It was a neat place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

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14 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

...and we had to fight them pretty hard to stop them exporting their society where it wasn't wanted.  Every culture has its own dark side.

That does not negate the beautiful parts.  It only means we are all human.

It doesn't negate the beautiful parts. I see misogyny here, and call it out, too. This was more a matter of being surprised by the blatancy of it all, even though Dad had warned me about it. He got so frustrated with the drunken business dinners, and offers of prostitutes (even after his business contacts had met Mom and me) that he declined to attend any more, cutting short the business part of our trip.

We did have a wonderful time at the Kabuki and Bunraku theaters, and discussing woodworking with a craftsman in Kyoto. The young woman who guided us through Tokyo eventually went to college in Boulder, CO.

Edited by Madelaine McMasters
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For the past week I've been finding myself off and on needing to take a moment to decompress so this thread is appreciated. This is why I came back to SL, to escape a bit. Sadly, escapism only goes so far and when I start to worry I worry hard. 

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32 minutes ago, Lindal Kidd said:

Sigh.  We're doing our taxes.

If we don't, the IRS will get us before the coronavirus does.

I did ours last weekend and promptly gritted my teeth.  Then this week they announced that we had until July 15th to file and pay.  I then did a happy dance - well, semi-happy anyway, due to delayed payment.

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I have done spring cleaning since I've been self-isolating, I've given myself facials, manicures, pedicures and deep conditioning my hair. I also bang out songs on my piano which relieves a lot of stress when you hit those deep chords, there's something about feeling it vibrate through your body that seems to push out all the stress and negativity that seems to seep in no matter how much you try to ignore. I do needle point and diamond painting which really helps me de-stress. But, I've noticed something, when I am in SL, I find myself self-isolating there too. Does anyone have this problem? I just want to do something that doesn't remind me of everything that is going on in the world. 

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Let's see.....

When we moved up here to where my man's family was raised --- we retired from running a night club back on the West Coast.

Couple years later --- we got bored --- and bought a small bar in our small town. The previous owners were retiring and was going to shut it down.

Last Tuesday was the last night we were open and was mostly regulars that were there. The mandate from the province only came down a few days later so we were closed ahead of that.

So now we're playing "retirement."

Once this mess is over we plan to open it back up.

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It was with great trepidation I set off with my sister at 7.30 am to the supermarket for the hour set aside for the elderly (not me) and vunerable  (I guess they mean me but come on!)  Disabled parking spot - tick.  Manager came to greet us and found me the trolly for wheelchairs -  tick.  No bog roll or pasta -  boo.  Eggs, potatoes, fruit, cereal, bread - tick  Everyone kept their distance -  tick  No queues at the tills  -  tick  Home  less than an hour later eating croissants and drinking fresh coffee.  I had to shop slightly different products than normal as there were big gaps on some shelves but all in all it was actually a better shopping experience than a regular week.  If my online shop due for Friday is missing anything (it is already decimated last time I checked)  then I am ok.   

We have come up with a home schooling plan based on online advice I saw from home schooling parents.  2 hours work via the school website in the morning.   Lunch and helping with dinner prep will be a lesson of maths and other skills. Then in the afternoon 1 hours reading followed by time in the garden as its going to be nice;  helping me with planting and other jobs.  After that its fine for him to meet up online with his friends and play games.  We will see how that goes for the first week. 

After all that I think I deserve a bathroom pamper.  I will dig out all the products given to me as gifts at christmas and birthdays and actually use them.  Then this evening finish my Better Call Saul binge on netflix

 

Edited by Cindy Evanier
typo
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On 3/21/2020 at 3:42 PM, Beth Macbain said:

We are all feeling, at least a little, like many things in our lives are beyond our control right now. No need to rehash all those things here.

In truth, the only thing we have complete control of is ourselves - so it makes sense for us to take really good care of ourselves right now, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. 

The first thing I noticed physically as a result of staying home all the time is dehydration. I was getting itchy, and realized that I'm not drinking nearly enough water, or moisturizing well enough. 

Today I'm exfoliating. All over, and giving my skin some much needed TLC. If you don't have specialized products at home, you can easily make some. Got some coffee grounds, olive oil or coconut oil? Honey? Sugar or salt? A little googling will lead you to plenty of DIY face and skin care products on the cheap. 

I'm keeping my patio door cracked open even though it's cold outside not only for the fresh air, but for the ambient noise that I'm finding calming. 

That's just a couple of the things I'm doing to take care of myself right now.

I hope we can use this thread to get ideas and share the things we're doing, and to encourage each other to look after ourselves. 

So what are you doing to be nice to yourself today?

I actually think a completely different approach is needed. Yes, self care is nice and as I said, knowing from my years at the UN, the first rule of relief work is never to become a case yourself. Make sure you have food and water and medicine if you need it.

Even so, our society could use more Christian/Jewish/Muslim/religious ethos of self-sacrifice for the sake of others. I'm ok. Do I need to worry about putting on lotion now or should I see if my elderly neighbour has food? Yes, fresh air is nice, but have I even called my grandmother? 

I think not enough people realize that this is not about a chance to hole up and watch Netflix and practice your omelette recipes and post funny pictures of your cat. If you are able bodied and not sick, you need to figure out what you are doing to lesson the burden in your community for those who are sick or taking care of the sick.

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In an immediate middle finger response to Covid-19 I have instigated my winter morning routines a few weeks earlier than normal.

Porridge, brown sugar, honey. ❤️ breakfasts alternating every second day with natural muesli, honey & raw sugar . mm MMMmmm. 
BIG ham cheese lettuce & tomato wholemeal/grain bread rolls with natural butter for lunch.
Fresh orange & apple juices. Fresh cold water that has been previously boiled. Mineral water.
Heaps of "trail mix" nuts & dried fruits. 
"Designer" yoghurts lol. Beautiful fresh yoghurts from Gippsland dairies who have just been bought out by  Agro Farma, USA. 🤔
Periodic "rewards" of smallish chocolate bars from the vending machine at work for putting up with this crap. 

and thanks to Fauve for hitsuzendō (筆禅道, "way of the brush"). lmaoooooooooo
Brushing my hair like a mad thing to look totally unfazed among students & teaching staff lol 😄😸🤭
(calligraphy of course lol).

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10 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said:

I'm not sure housework would ever fall on my list of self-care items - it is totally 100% a chore.

 

 

Spring cleaning can be a bit therapeutic...it gets stuff out of the way...winter clothes washed and put back into drawers and mail read through and thrown away...stuff like that.  

It's just stuff out of the way or thrown away and gone so you don't have to think about it anymore.  

At times like this, not giving up your whole old routine can be therapeutic too.

Edited by FairreLilette
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17 minutes ago, FairreLilette said:

Spring cleaning can be a bit therapeutic...it gets stuff out of the way...winter clothes washed and put back into drawers and mail read through and thrown away...stuff like that.  

It's just stuff out of the way or thrown away and gone so you don't have to think about it anymore.  

Agree! And of course for those that do not get any comfort or enjoyment from it then it’s not a good example of self-care *for them*. But I’m loathe to bring in any cleaners right now and I get stressed and depressed when my home is not in order and it has been a few years since I really did a proper spring cleaning.

So after I got the big grocery order loaded in, I committed to the KonMari method after reading her book and it does hugely make me feel better. I can see why she calls it a ‘tidying festival’. I think for the people who take to it, it’s wonderful, but it’s certainly not for everyone! I had already planned on doing it this spring before the virus crisis hit and I’m glad I decided to keep my plan. I’m going at it in a not-too-fast way so it sounds more impressive than it really is. I also feel some need to try to figure out what we can do for our community here, but I’m still checking into the best ways to go about it. 

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4 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

you need to figure out what you are doing to lesson the burden in your community for those who are sick or taking care of the sick.

Yes, I'm thinking about what I can do.  The only thing I can do is do without some things.  The Governor of the State of California has asked us to stay in this morning 3/23/20 and not go out.  So, I am delaying my shopping for awhile.  Delivery may be possible in my area.  I need to check it out.  

What else I can do to help the sick other than washing my hands, using my sleeves to push the elevator button, and staying home...I don't know of any yet.  

No one in my building is sick.  We had a terrible vicious virus maybe "a self-diagnosed flu" in January.  No one is sick currently. 

I'll do what I can...but I gotta take care of myself too.  

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I'm going to ask very nicely that people please stick to the topic of this thread - self care and how you're taking care of yourself. Please do not tell anyone else what they should be doing. We're all different, we are all in different living situations, we all need different things. This is for support - not cutting down others. 

No one should feel any guilt for taking care of themselves during this amazingly difficult time. There is no taking care of anyone else if we don't take care of ourselves first. 

If someone else wants to start a thread about how to care for others, go for it. This thread is about how to care for ourselves. 

My self-care for today is going to be not letting myself get pulled into arguments with anyone else. I don't need or want the stress of that.

Oh, and probably a nice, hydrating face mask and a walk to the mailbox later to pick up my Ipsy box later. 

So go ahead... watch Netflix, make an omelette or six, and post cat pictures if those are things that make you feel better. 

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I’m making a playlist of songs that inspire me and induce the asmr response for me. 
Certain music and the sound of rain are what trigger it for me and it’s really soothing and helps me relax. 

also good for spring 🌸
 

 

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