It's not real. Are you real? Is it real? Are you for real?

[Lindal Kidd]

23 hours ago, eyeye Afterthought said:

The internet, without a doubt, helps us to communicate more, and therefore we have to be real, behind our avatars, behind our keyboards.

Yes, and no.  There was this fellow on the news yesterday who opined that the Internet has done "More harm to our society than a nuclear war."  His contention is that, especially as we get closer to an election, nearly all the material you see on social media is generated by AI bots, psychological ju-jitsu intended to inflame hatred against one side or the other.

We can't even tell where these catchy little pictures and vituperations are coming from...but the more clever and eye-catching and anger-inducing they are, the less likely that they originated with anyone "real".

Get out from behind your monitor and go talk to people more.  All of you.  Me too.

[Akane Nacht]

On 12/14/2019 at 4:56 PM, eyeye Afterthought said:

Are you real? 

I'm of the generation that had pen-pals growing up. They were real, and sometimes you hit it off and become friends for years and sometimes you don't.  Same with online friends - I've known some SL friends for over a decade, and some gaming friends for years too. We chat on whatsapp (just like my friends who live nearby as we are lazy to meet up). 

In short, sure we're real, just exploiting tech cos plane tickets are expensive.

[Evah Baxton]

As real as I can be in a world where I could never possibly dedicate myself 100%.

[Resi Pfeffer]

My landlord is not real. Everytime when i need to bother him, he answers the same: "Thank your for contacting us. A manager will hit you up soon."
And he is not my friend, as i have to pay him every few days/weeks. ^^ 

[Stranger Hoxley]

On 12/15/2019 at 10:54 AM, BelindaN said:

Clearly my alts dont exist outside SL.

So how come I was with one in my dream last night? Spooky. In that dream she was my daughter. Even spookier. The first time she's crossed over.

But I'm real. The forum is just like any other forum. A kaleidoscope of life experience, opinions,  hopes and dreams.

In world is a bit different. Like calling in the local bar to see who's around. And then snatching time with friends and sometimes strangers. They all seem real to me.

 

As a matter of fact, you put her inworld, so she could be seen as your daughter. I only wonder who would be the father.... 

[kali Wylder]

Reality is all a matter of perception.  I believe it's just as possible to have a real relationship in SL as it is in RL.  However, in both worlds, it's equally possible to fall in love with a projection of what you want superimposed upon a "real" other person. Relationships in SL never have to deal with things like who sleeps on the wet spot, and who gets up and makes breakfast while the other sleeps an extra 15 minutes.

[LexxiXhan]

3 minutes ago, kali Wylder said:

Relationships in SL never have to deal with things like who sleeps on the wet spot

You can guarantee someone's roleplayed that though..

[Frank Ziplon]

With the anonymity the internet offers, you could argue it is less naive to see people on the internet as not real in terms of who they may profess to be. I guess it depends how much as a person, you take things at face value. I have been on the internet since well before it was popular and have learned in all those years that one must be cautious in what personal information you share and with whom you share it, friendship is a process that takes time to grow, everything on the internet, is so instant.

I don't consider anyone a friend unless I truly know them and when you take into account things like facebook, where people crave to have as many followers as possible, to be that, all popular person, can the people on that person's account really all be real friends? Not saying that is the case with your facebook btw, I have no idea how you use your facebook account.

Second Life is much the same, I have lost count of the number of people who want to friend me after one sentence or for that matter without even a conversation, there seems to be a mentality where the internet is concerned by which people collect friends like others collect stamps.

Friendship doesn't have to move out of the internet bubble to be real, that is for sure, but like I say, real friendship takes time and I have only a handful of internet only friends who I consider real, if not for that we were on opposite sides of the globe, we would actually meet in the real world. All others I consider acquaintances and nothing more.

Edited January 13, 2020 by Frank Ziplon

[Odaks]

2 hours ago, Frank Ziplon said:

Second Life is much the same, I have lost count of the number of people who want to friend me after one sentence or for that matter without even a conversation, there seems to be a mentality where the internet is concerned by which people collect friends like others collect stamps.

In internet terms, the word "friend" has become one of the the most corrupted words so far as meaning goes. Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but I honestly believe that the word should mean what is what originally intended to mean - a person that you can enjoy for their company, rely on their support and be pleased to welcome them into a fair chunk of your life.

Second Life is no better than Facebook in this flagrant encouragement of the misuse of this word, which has now come to mean nothing more than just "contact", except in a few special cases. I got so fed up with being offered Friend requests after just a few words with a stranger, and in some cases, not even one word with a stranger, I added this to my Profile front page:-

"And *please* don't offer friendship on a first meeting. Let's get to know each other first; its just silly otherwise."

....and has it made a difference? NOT AT ALL!

This is a battle I fear is lost.

Edited January 13, 2020 by Odaks

[Fauve Aeon]

On 12/16/2019 at 2:01 PM, LexxiXhan said:

You can guarantee someone's roleplayed that though..

If there is a sexy-time *cactus*, I’m pretty sure there is a ‘wet spot’ sexy bed.

I’m not so sure I’m real today, could somebody check on that pls?

[Marigold Devin]

1 hour ago, Odaks said:

In internet terms, the word "friend" has become one of the the most corrupted words so far as meaning goes. Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but I honestly believe that the word should mean what is what originally intended to mean - a person that you can enjoy for their company, rely on their support and be pleased to welcome them into a fair chunk of your life.

Second Life is no better than Facebook in this flagrant encouragement of the misuse of this word, which has now come to mean nothing more than just "contact", except in a few special cases. I got so fed up with being offered Friend requests after just a few words with a stranger, and in some cases, not even one word with a stranger, I added this to my Profile front page:-

"And *please* don't offer friendship on a first meeting. Let's get to know each other first; its just silly otherwise."

....and has it made a difference? NOT AT ALL!

This is a battle I fear is lost.

I used to have on my profile: "I have friends, and I have "friends", and I have learned to know the difference", because I felt, as you do (I still feel that way now).  I've always kept my Second Life friends list - and my Facebook one - short. There are more people NOT on my official friends lists that I consider to be friends, because of the quality time I spend either with them in person, or activities we enjoy together in virtual reality.  

But still there are those who feel more validated/popular simply because of having 700+ friends, visible on Facebook, yet when they put something like "Going jogging, anyone interested meet me at the Top Shop" ... 

... but an update an hour or so later shows they jogged alone! "Friends" rather than friends, quantity over quality.

[eyeye Afterthought]

On 12/16/2019 at 3:03 AM, Lindal Kidd said:

Yes, and no.  There was this fellow on the news yesterday who opined that the Internet has done "More harm to our society than a nuclear war."  His contention is that, especially as we get closer to an election, nearly all the material you see on social media is generated by AI bots, psychological ju-jitsu intended to inflame hatred against one side or the other.

We can't even tell where these catchy little pictures and vituperations are coming from...but the more clever and eye-catching and anger-inducing they are, the less likely that they originated with anyone "real".

Get out from behind your monitor and go talk to people more.  All of you.  Me too.

Sound advice!

 

I had a coupla weeks off, minimized internet usage, walked off Christmas, smiled/growled at a fair few real people, back to the basement to dwell, for a coupla hours anyways. 

[Marigold Devin]

On 12/15/2019 at 2:32 PM, eyeye Afterthought said:

I shan't be going to any more. The more I go over the reunion I attended, the more frustrated I feel.  I never even liked school parties.  

/me shudders

School gatherings/parties bring to mind having to dance the gay gordons with icky boys from my class, the c0ck of the school coming in drunk and having to be escorted out by the deputy headmaster and two burly teachers (sport/geography and a science teacher), and dodgy punch with cucumber floating on it. 

[Maryanne Solo]

I cant recall if the tune c o c k O The North jig accompanies the Gay Gordons dance lol. It's been a long time. CoTN is also a dance of course.

Edited January 13, 2020 by Maryanne Solo

[Seicher Rae]

9 hours ago, Odaks said:

In internet terms, the word "friend" has become one of the the most corrupted words so far as meaning goes. Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but I honestly believe that the word should mean what is what originally intended to mean - a person that you can enjoy for their company, rely on their support and be pleased to welcome them into a fair chunk of your life.

Second Life is no better than Facebook in this flagrant encouragement of the misuse of this word, which has now come to mean nothing more than just "contact", except in a few special cases. I got so fed up with being offered Friend requests after just a few words with a stranger, and in some cases, not even one word with a stranger, I added this to my Profile front page:-

"And *please* don't offer friendship on a first meeting. Let's get to know each other first; its just silly otherwise."

....and has it made a difference? NOT AT ALL!

This is a battle I fear is lost.

I so agree with you. I especially "like" the people who randomly IM you out of the blue with the friend request and you don't even speak the same language! LoL & oy.

I don't like the too-early requests because it makes it awkward to say "no." I haven't found a good, quick way to say that. I stumble through something that sounds a bit like what you wrote above, and I'm sure they are thinking, "Dude, chill, it is just a friends request." Although on a few occasions I've had those people stop following me on a Feed or Flickr. I'm sorry (not sorry) but just because you have clicked ♥ on one of my photos, and maybe I have clicked ♥ on one of yours, doesn't make us friends!

The only thing I can say that is positive about instant friends on SL is that if you think there might be a connection that you want to pursue, then you can use the friend status to learn when they are online so you can have another chat. Unless of course one deselects the box for that.

[Odaks]

7 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said:

I don't like the too-early requests because it makes it awkward to say "no."

Exactly this! I feel as if I'm doing something really bad when I have to hit the "Decline" button. This feeling of guilt then moves over to one of severe irritation, as the realisation that the technology has allowed somebody to push me into a corner; a corner that can only be escaped from by either bluntly declining their "very kind offer", or by giving in and accepting.

There is, of course, the facility of Calling Cards, which will enable all the contact information required to be recalled just as quickly. This dark art appears to be unknown to many; it is certainly not often used. 

[Fauve Aeon]

1 hour ago, Seicher Rae said:

10 hours ago, Odaks said:

In internet terms, the word "friend" has become one of the the most corrupted words so far as meaning goes. Maybe I'm being old-fashioned, but I honestly believe that the word should mean what is what originally intended to mean - a person that you can enjoy for their company, rely on their support and be pleased to welcome them into a fair chunk of your life.

Second Life is no better than Facebook in this flagrant encouragement of the misuse of this word, which has now come to mean nothing more than just "contact", except in a few special cases. I got so fed up with being offered Friend requests after just a few words with a stranger, and in some cases, not even one word with a stranger, I added this to my Profile front page:-

"And *please* don't offer friendship on a first meeting. Let's get to know each other first; its just silly otherwise."

....and has it made a difference? NOT AT ALL!

This is a battle I fear is lost.

I so agree with you. I especially "like" the people who randomly IM you out of the blue with the friend request and you don't even speak the same language! LoL & oy.

I don't like the too-early requests because it makes it awkward to say "no." I haven't found a good, quick way to say that. I stumble through something that sounds a bit like what you wrote above, and I'm sure they are thinking, "Dude, chill, it is just a friends request." Although on a few occasions I've had those people stop following me on a Feed or Flickr. I'm sorry (not sorry) but just because you have clicked ♥ on one of my photos, and maybe I have clicked ♥ on one of yours, doesn't make us friends!

The only thing I can say that is positive about instant friends on SL is that if you think there might be a connection that you want to pursue, then you can use the friend status to learn when they are online so you can have another chat. Unless of course one deselects the box for that.

I really wish there were some other ‘stay in contact’ levels we could enable all over social media platforms instead of all this ‘friending’. I find the whole thing awkward, and with some people it just stays that way because they ‘tend’ their online friends list like some kind of weird garden of accomplishment. I may or may not have had a category of people cordoned off from seeing some of my posts when I still used FB. They might have been called ‘joy sucking obligation potatoes’. 

[Odaks]

5 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

I really wish there were some other ‘stay in contact’ levels

In SL, that is precisely what the Calling Cards system was supposed have provided. but nobody seems to know of there existence! I'm quite sure that the Facebook technique of trying to "friend" anything that speaks, just to get the numbers up, has spread into Second Life; its "just the way its done, innit?"

(I popped a "laugh" on your post because I found the mental picture, that instantly formed in my brain, of ‘joy sucking obligation potatoes’ growing in a "weird garden of accomplishment", quite delicious!)

[Beth Macbain]

47 minutes ago, Fauve Aeon said:

I really wish there were some other ‘stay in contact’ levels we could enable all over social media platforms instead of all this ‘friending’.

Back in the olden days, we used a thing called an address book. Now I use my phone contacts to list people social media precisely so I don't have to friend, follow, etc. 

And like @Odaks pointed out, calling cards work really well. I use them often when someone that I barely know sends me a friend requests or asks if they can friend me. I have a tiny friend list and a huge number of calling cards.