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How much do you care about the RL idenities behind SL avatars?

Gopi Passiflora

By Gopi Passiflora,
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Gopi Passiflora

Gopi Passiflora

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9 hours ago, Phil Deakins said:

@Gopi Passiflora

"How much do you care about the RL idenities behind SL avatars?"

It depends what you mean by 'care about''.

1. 'Care about' in the sense of being concerned for their wellbeing and such. On the whole, I do care about that. I don't want to upset or annoy the people behind the avatars. I prefer not to be, do, or cause anything negative in their lives. And I prefer that they are happy and content in their lives. In that sense of caring about avatars, I do care.

2. 'Care about' in the sense of it mattering to me who the people behind the avatars are. Sometimes yes, and mostly no. If I'm in any sort of sexual situation with an avatar (a rarity these days), the gender of the person behind the avatar matters a great deal ro me. It doesn't mean that a female avatar has to prove that she is a she in RL, but it does mean that I have to feel confident that she is.

Perhaps you'd like to say in which sense you mean it.

 

I meant #2 for the topic.

For #1, I do care about well being of others (or at least try.) I do realize empathy is not my strongest point, though.

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Gopi Passiflora

Gopi Passiflora

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2 hours ago, Moraxo said:

I feel like a lot of people are reacting very poorly to the OP's less than elegant conveying of ideas... I kinda feel the same way as OP. I don't want to know about your RL at all really but conversely I want to know all about your SL. I am playing a Character and whether that character is like me 100% or not at all is an irrelevant detail I feel. My character is super nice and open arms to most and WANTS to get to know people. If OP wants to view SL as his own personal RPG who is anyone here to tell him he is wrong? I am not super strict about it my rules nor am I mean to people for wanting to cross over or blend SL and RL as I treat everyone in SL with some understanding and respect. The problem is when people get caught up in their idea of what "norms" should be and start pushing it on you. I still try not be disrespectful but I will just stop talking to you if you cant take a hint.

 

All in all I feel like RL etiquette applies... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself" as it were...

 

Thanks for understanding what I meant. Yeah, communication is not my strongest asset....

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lostsoul2017

lostsoul2017

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8 hours ago, Bitsy Buccaneer said:

Thinking of the people you encounter as if they were NPCs in your personal game is still treating then badly, no matter how polite you are in doing so.

May I suggest a different mantra? Someone made a sign saying this: "The only real things in Second Life are our feelings, so please take care of each other."

Care about the person, not their skin colour or their biological gender or the shape of their avatar. Who we are isn't in the externals.

 

the bold part above is what people need to remember.  that NPC you meet is not really an NPC.  every interaction affects a human being behind a screen somewhere. the moment someone sees them as a character in a game and you are not in a RP area, then you are doing a disservice to them no matter how you treat them.

 

when we treat people like NPC's , it's easier for us to justify doing bad things to them or ignoring them.  it also means that you would simply be in Sl for your own personal pleasure rather than being in it to be part of a community.  in that case, i would recommend that anyone that wanted to do that should go play a RPG instead as its' what they are looking for.  in SL, a portion treat it as a game but many , many more, treat it as a community.  and those people, don't need to be played with.

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Prokofy Neva

Prokofy Neva

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I don't care about them at all, in general. I think the premise of a virtual world is that you shouldn't care.

When someone rents from me, I don't study their profile, there isn't time and there isn't a reason. 

It's only if they create problems for me -- active problems like harassing other people, chronically over-primming etc that I might check to see if they are in fact a very new alt or somebody in a known griefing group or something. 

I find that's how it works on forums and sometimes inworld as well. People begin to pry and pick at your RL identity when they disagree with you. They are hoping to "get something" on you. They are hoping to "fight back" playing the coin of RL. So usually the motives in prying into RL as I've found are bad, and are a way of harassing people whose views they don't like.

I also find that sooner or later, in SL relationships, people want to know who the real person is, if only to make sure they are the gender they think they are.

I've had some SL friends for years and I haven't the faintest clue who they are in RL. A few times when they used to have SL meet-ups someone would come up to me and say, "Hi, I rent from you!" and I'd have no idea who they were until they told me their avatar name.

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Lada Charlton

Lada Charlton

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2 hours ago, lostsoul2017 said:

when we treat people like NPC's , it's easier for us to justify doing bad things to them or ignoring them.  it also means that you would simply be in Sl for your own personal pleasure rather than being in it to be part of a community.  in that case, i would recommend that anyone that wanted to do that should go play a RPG instead as its' what they are looking for.  in SL, a portion treat it as a game but many , many more, treat it as a community.  and those people, don't need to be played with.

4

I found this really illuminating in this discussion. 

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lostsoul2017

lostsoul2017

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27 minutes ago, Lada Charlton said:

I found this really illuminating in this discussion. 

i've been online for many, many years in the online worlds and i've seen people shattered by how they are treated.  those were never really weak willed people (as others like to call them).  they were simple human beings that got caught up in someones words and started being vulnerable to that persons words.  a heart break in a online world is much worst than in a 'real world' because in the online world, the person may never see a picture of you or know what kind of conditions you live in or grew up in.  but they do know you at your very essence as they fall in love with your words.  with the idea of 'you' .  with your hopes, dreams, and everything else that you share. so it's a much greater betrayal for many people than someone not liking them for the way they look as our looks are given to us by the genetic lottery based on who we are born to.  but everything inside us, our thoughts, are purely chosen by us. :)

 

i always take care with people's emotions in the virtual worlds for that very reason.  picking up the pieces of a broken virtual hear is very, very difficult.

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panatropica

panatropica

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I guess it all depends, i don't give a toss about those 1 day old avatars on an adult sim wanting to know if i want rumpy pumpy, and no, i have never been sucked into a virtual relationship, but i made what i would consider to be good friends, which i still wonder where one went, they never log in or return messages,  i actually just joined up to another virtual world, and met a few avatars, i'm guessing they are similar to mentors on a newbie help island, very willing to show me around,  and i appreciate that.  it is supposed to be a fun time on these grids, so i try to be nice to other avies, because after all they are a person behind it.

The old phrase is true, if your hobby turns into work, you have to ask yourself if it is all worth it.

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Syo Emerald

Syo Emerald

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I have a hard time thinking about Second Life as a roleplay. Mainly, because I am participating in roleplay in World of Wacraft. When I go and roleplay there, I have to activily think about how my character behaves, what his/her opinions are and so on. Its not about me, its about my characters. My old grumpy druid, who lost an eye is totally different from my spoiled mage and both are different from me.

So I don't even know if I would get along with someone who treats SL as a roleplay and me, therefore, as some NPC with a very creative AI. I think it would make me feel like they see me as a prop to enchance their awsome game, where they are the main character and everyone else is just there to entertain them. Yeah, I think thats whats bugging me the most about this viewpoint. And I also have never enjoyed the "roleplay" others used to force on their environment (child avatars and their baby speak, people playing pregnancy, men who think Gor is a lifestyle to be lived on every sim, people who want to include the whole world into their BDSM play etc.).

That being said: I don't ask for real life stuff and I don't tend to tell people about mine, if it doesn't come up naturally in a conversation. I take people how they present themselves here and expect the same.

Edited by Syo Emerald
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Ivanova Shostakovich

Ivanova Shostakovich

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22 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

I think the premise of a virtual world is that you shouldn't care.

   As a general premise, I don't agree with this. People come here for many different reasons; exploration of environments, self exploration, artistic expression, socialization, building things (something in which I recall you had begun to dabble), or just trying to connect with others and not feel alone. For many people the reasons they stay may change or evolve from those that brought them here.

   You're here to run a business. You display no need to get to know people, but even as strictly a business owner, providing services or goods to others, the prosperity of that business will be affected by how others perceive you. I came here for the promise. I stayed for the people.

22 hours ago, Prokofy Neva said:

I also find that sooner or later, in SL relationships, people want to know who the real person is

  Sometimes, yes, some people will express a desire to know. It has been my experience that most people don't ask. They're either not really interested in knowing, or they're polite or wise enough not to ask, or they're satisfied with taking things at face value. I think if you spend enough time getting to know someone, you get to know who they are, often sooner rather than later. If that ends in disappointment, well... this is something that happens in real space too.

Edited by Ivanova Shostakovich
Because preposition.
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Amanda Crisp

Amanda Crisp

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I absolutely, categorically do not care :-)

I have no intentions of ever trying to take SL into RL, so if the mind behind the avatar is interesting to me - that’s all that matters. Dirty/ Creative minds are terrible things to waste :-)

SL is a liberating experience for me. Here, I get around normally and I AM normal - so it would be hypocritical of me to begrudge that to anyone else no matter what compels them to find comfort here.

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Bobbie Faulds

Bobbie Faulds

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I take people as they are when I meet them. If they are in a male avi, they are male. Same for female. (Though, for the most part, makes on a female are fairly easy to spot since they often aren't proportional, ie large chest). I'm not interested in other's RL. I keep a hard line between my SL and my RL. For that reason I don't voice. I don't even have a mic hooked up to my computer. I have, in the past, relented on that and regretted it every time.

I can remember in one sim where I role-play where the guy IMd me and asked if I was female and how old I was in RL. I am a RL female, but for role-play, it shouldn't matter. He only wanted to play with someone under 30.

All of SL is role-playing for the most part. We are all who we want to look like and do things we'd like to do and often can't in RL. As such, as I said, I accept people as they are.

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Talligurl

Talligurl

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6 hours ago, Bobbie Faulds said:

I keep a hard line between my SL and my RL. For that reason I don't voice. 

My feelings exactly, when I am asked to voice, My thoughts are why do they need this? This is trouble.

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Janet Voxel

Janet Voxel

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For me, it doesn’t matter that much to me who’s behind the avatar. What really matters to me is whatever that person is putting out there, is it something I want to be around? That’s the fundamental question I ask myself with every interaction I have in SL. If the answer is no, then it doesn’t matter who they are behind the avatar anyway and that’s 99.9% of SL anyway.

Maybe that’s a little naive or idealistic, I don’t know. Maybe it’s actually really harsh. I’m always friendly and open to meeting new people. Due to the inception like quality of Second Life, you can drive yourself crazy trying to distinguish someone’s real life from second life, what’s the truth, what’s a lie, whether someone is being for real or not. So I really don’t try. I just go off the energy they’re giving me.

Do I get curious about people sometimes? Of course it’s human nature. I have a guy friend, I’m convinced is a female in real life. But I’ll never ask him that. Why? Because whoever that is, decided to be the guy I talk to when I’m online. Guess what? I’m ok with that.

I think the OP hit on something when he said NPCs, even if it was unintentional. I think a lot of  people on SL see everybody but themselves as an NPC. Because they normally can’t see you or touch you, you aren’t real. Sometimes people will try to treat you like you aren’t real.

That’s why I mainly deal with people that give off that vibe that I’m real too.

 

 

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MaggiJin

MaggiJin

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I care about it only as far as where it would negatively impact how they act inworld. for example if someone lights orphanages on fire and kicks puppys on the daily irl, they obviously won't be too nice inworld either. (bit of an extreme example but you get it)

 

However i don't care if you're a guy irl, i don't care if you're a girl irl. i'll react to you based on how you choose to display yourself inworld. for example if you look like a hairy meathead wifebeater, i'm going to assume you are one untill i get evidence otherwise.

What i'm saying is who you are in sl matters more to me when we're on sl, unless you're just a terrible person.

Edited by MaggiJin
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Ceka Cianci

Ceka Cianci

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I just figure,if someone has something they feel like telling me,they will..otherwise ,they are just who they are here..

Myself,I just like playing mild mannered Ceka in SL because it's a really nice escape from my really crazy RL day job that I never talk about ever, NeverNeverNever ever.. Ever!

So I never pry.:SwingingFriends:

 

img_3081.jpg

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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