How much do you care about the RL idenities behind SL avatars?

[Gopi Passiflora]

I try not to care very much...and I usually don't anyway. I view everyone else's avatars as NPCs in the RPG where my avatars are the player characters.

But I suppose the only time I care about identities is if there's a real threat to safety in RL or something. 

[bigmoe Whitfield]

I've been here 10 years, I was like you at first,  but then I learned that treating people like crap just made my SL life horrid.  we are not npc's we are not in an rpg, that mindset you might want to check at the door.

[Gopi Passiflora]

3 minutes ago, bigmoe Whitfield said:

I've been here 10 years, I was like you at first,  but then I learned that treating people like crap just made my SL life horrid.  we are not npc's we are not in an rpg, that mindset you might want to check at the door.

I actually don't treat people like crap...sorry if I didn't communicate that clearly. I'm actually polite (for the most part) to other people. It's just...I meant to convey that I really don't care who's really behind an SL avatar.

[bigmoe Whitfield]

Just now, Gopi Passiflora said:

I actually don't treat people like crap...sorry if I didn't communicate that clearly. I'm actually polite (for the most part) to other people. It's just...I meant to convey that I really don't care who's really behind an SL avatar.

why though?  we are live, we exist, we have feelings, we are real people.  maybe get to actually know some of us on a personal level. 

[Tari Landar]

I care to the extent that others want me to care. That is to say, if someone wants me to know who, or what, is behind their avatar, I will gladly take that information...but I won't ask for it.

I'm a rather open book on some things, and a completely closed one on others. I take folks at face value unless they give me some reason not to, or would rather I not..again, at their own discretion/disclosure. 

Though, truth be told I would LOVE to meet an av that's being run by a rl dog, or dinosaur, it would be amazing!!!! I have so many questions....

 

 

[Tex Monday]

I guess this is a two fold topic, in my opinion....

I care in the fact that I want the person to enjoy their time with me in SL, whatever we may be doing...*laughs*

I don't care in the fact of who the actual person is (unless they say something about it or want me to know). For example, if a man is playing a woman...to me, it's a woman that I"m with or visa versa. Who cares as long as you're enjoying yourself. Some (narrow minded) people get hung up on this sort of thing, but I feel as long as the person plays it right, who cares??

[Talligurl]

In Real life when you see someone what you see is thier body, but the personality inside is what is important. In SL I see an avatar but I still care about the personality Behind it. The physical body I can't see doesn't matter to me.

[Klytyna]

4 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I view everyone else's avatars as NPCs in the RPG where my avatars are the player characters.

That attitude is, to be 100% honest, one of my main reasons for loathing the "Elite Para-RP Uber Alles" brigade. The whole "Roleplay *AT* cleverly scripted AI NPCs who don't deserve to enjoy the 'game'" thing quite simply sickens me.
 

[Alwin Alcott]

5 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

But I suppose the only time I care about identities is if there's a real threat to safety in RL or something. 

and thats only possible when you yourself give too much information at the wrong people in SL ..

In all my years here i think only a handfull know who i am, and only one or two where i live. RL safety is totally in your own control.

SL is, in my opinion, no tool to get social contacts to RL, or dating agency, nor FB.

I'm on FB... and often think people should start wearing emotional diapers... the total open sharing of all their very personal emotions and happenings are so easy to abuse ( and 99.9% totally uninteresting for others)

This behaviour sneaks into SL slowly too. Must be the "time" we live in.

 

[Anna Nova]

When I am role playing, then I am imagining what it would be like to be in that situation in RL.  I assume those I am playing with are doing the same.  We are all real people exploring things together.

To take a concrete example...... Oh No!  I can't do that here! And that's the point.

[Phil Deakins]

@Gopi Passiflora

"How much do you care about the RL idenities behind SL avatars?"

It depends what you mean by 'care about''.

1. 'Care about' in the sense of being concerned for their wellbeing and such. On the whole, I do care about that. I don't want to upset or annoy the people behind the avatars. I prefer not to be, do, or cause anything negative in their lives. And I prefer that they are happy and content in their lives. In that sense of caring about avatars, I do care.

2. 'Care about' in the sense of it mattering to me who the people behind the avatars are. Sometimes yes, and mostly no. If I'm in any sort of sexual situation with an avatar (a rarity these days), the gender of the person behind the avatar matters a great deal ro me. It doesn't mean that a female avatar has to prove that she is a she in RL, but it does mean that I have to feel confident that she is.

Perhaps you'd like to say in which sense you mean it.

 

[Bitsy Buccaneer]

8 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I actually don't treat people like crap...sorry if I didn't communicate that clearly. I'm actually polite (for the most part) to other people. It's just...I meant to convey that I really don't care who's really behind an SL avatar.

Thinking of the people you encounter as if they were NPCs in your personal game is still treating then badly, no matter how polite you are in doing so.

May I suggest a different mantra? Someone made a sign saying this: "The only real things in Second Life are our feelings, so please take care of each other."

Care about the person, not their skin colour or their biological gender or the shape of their avatar. Who we are isn't in the externals.

[Chaser Zaks]

A lot because without the person behind the avatar, then the avatar wouldn't exist.

I couldn't care less about who their identity is. If they wish to offer it to in their first life tab, that's fine, but the way they behave and treat others is the main point of interest for me.

Each person has their own personality and that's the most important part. If they give their avatar a different personality in role play scenarios, I don't really care how well or ill mannered their role play personality is, as long as they still have their real personality behind their avatar that knows when to intervene.

[Max Nova]

I'm not a RPer so I treat people as I would in RL because SL is an extension of RL for me and a way to reach out to the world and create good will and friendship. So, I treat everyone with respect and if they do not reciprocate well, I just move on. 

[Talligurl]

10 minutes ago, WuShin said:

SL is an extension of RL for me and a way to reach out to the world and create good will and friendship. So, I treat everyone with respect 

I don't think SL has to be an extension of you RL to do this, actually I think some people treat others with respect, and others do not. Whatever kind of person you are in RL will manifest itself in SL, regardless of your approach to SL. 

[Max Nova]

2 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

I don't think SL has to be an extension of you RL to do this, actually I think some people treat others with respect, and others do not. Whatever kind of person you are in RL will manifest itself in SL, regardless of your approach to SL. 

I agree but I'm me that's all I'm saying, I suck at not being me. 

[Talligurl]

52 minutes ago, WuShin said:

I agree but I'm me that's all I'm saying, I suck at not being me. 

Sometimes I think the person I am in SL, is more real than the one I am in RL.

[Max Nova]

34 minutes ago, Talligurl said:

Sometimes I think the person I am in SL, is more real than the one I am in RL.

I'm fine in my own skin and my own mesh but I don't need an escape from reality or virtual reality but I get that some people do. 

[Hunter Stern]

this link would be related to my rely:

When i joined SL in 2004, I was not accustomed to dealing with RL persons behind avatars and inadvertently told a person in a Robot (offhandedly mind you) to shut up, because I thought it was just another automated NPC. Ofcourse I was corrected and I felt quite embarrassed, because I would never speak in such a way to anyone rl, and ofcourse my lack of knowledge before hand asto the capabiloty of SL as a platform with real time communications.

For me in real life, SL is vital to my social identity and being able to be in contact with other people. I live in a town where I do not have family or friends to call on, and yes, I've tried to make connections and it has just never happened (sorry but quilting and antique collecting  or growing vegetables is not my idea of fun) even when I attempted. Even the simplest explanation of a computer, and people in my town think on the simplest of terms such as search engines or online game or amazon and ebay or petition signups and/or blogs. SL though, and many platforms have a very extended reach though , imo once one get's past the initial learning curve of moving and interacting , and yes communicating with other people through chat on avatars.

So in short I try to treat most people (avatars) as anyone would expect to be treated. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt even through their avatar realizing that the avatar is merely a place marker to someones form of saying  hello. if this weren't the case we might as well be glowing blobs of light all the same or varying colors.

[Moraxo]

I feel like a lot of people are reacting very poorly to the OP's less than elegant conveying of ideas... I kinda feel the same way as OP. I don't want to know about your RL at all really but conversely I want to know all about your SL. I am playing a Character and whether that character is like me 100% or not at all is an irrelevant detail I feel. My character is super nice and open arms to most and WANTS to get to know people. If OP wants to view SL as his own personal RPG who is anyone here to tell him he is wrong? I am not super strict about it my rules nor am I mean to people for wanting to cross over or blend SL and RL as I treat everyone in SL with some understanding and respect. The problem is when people get caught up in their idea of what "norms" should be and start pushing it on you. I still try not be disrespectful but I will just stop talking to you if you cant take a hint.

 

All in all I feel like RL etiquette applies... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself" as it were...

[eighthdwarf Checchinato]

1 hour ago, Talligurl said:

Sometimes I think the person I am in SL, is more real than the one I am in RL.

I can relate! Actually, I'm less introverted in SL than I am in RL, so yes I think that makes my SL person more "real" than my RL person. 

But back to the Question of the OP... I think I rather don't care about the gender, ethnicity, age, upbringing, or whatever of the person behind any avatar. For me, such details are utterly unimportant, in this regard, I consider SL = SL, RL = RL. However, if my interest is awakened, I'd try and get to know this person better, to see what kind of human they are. That said, I've never asked anyone anything they didn't start to disclose anyways.

[Sadvhi]

I prefer not to know anything about a person's RL identity

[LittleMe Jewell]

3 hours ago, Talligurl said:

Sometimes I think the person I am in SL, is more real than the one I am in RL.

For me, this is often true.  I'm a loner and very introverted by nature in RL and I start out very guarded with people, RL or SL.  However, in SL I feel less judged and thus I'm probably more real here.  I have more close friends online & in SL that in RL and those people know a bit of my RL truths to varying degrees.  I'm actually even RL Facebook friends with a few folks I met in SL.

As to how much the other person's RL stuff matters to me - Well, I care if something happens that they are upset about, if bad weather is threatening their livelihood, etc...  If they wish to share any RL details, I treasure that information.  If they don't provide RL details, that is perfectly fine also.  The only time RL details would truly matter is if I was actually looking to find some sort of RL relationship here, and I'm not.

[BilliJo Aldrin]

I talk about RL with my friends all the time.

How can anyone not? Unless of course everything they say and do in SL is all rp, in which case  I wouldn't believe anything they said, nor would  I care to meet or interact with them.

[Hunter Stern]

2 hours ago, Moraxo said:

I feel like a lot of people are reacting very poorly to the OP's less than elegant conveying of ideas... I kinda feel the same way as OP. I don't want to know about your RL at all really but conversely I want to know all about your SL. I am playing a Character and whether that character is like me 100% or not at all is an irrelevant detail I feel. My character is super nice and open arms to most and WANTS to get to know people. If OP wants to view SL as his own personal RPG who is anyone here to tell him he is wrong? I am not super strict about it my rules nor am I mean to people for wanting to cross over or blend SL and RL as I treat everyone in SL with some understanding and respect. The problem is when people get caught up in their idea of what "norms" should be and start pushing it on you. I still try not be disrespectful but I will just stop talking to you if you cant take a hint.

 

All in all I feel like RL etiquette applies... "Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself" as it were...

I can relate to this. I have a friend who goes on trips rl all over the world, comes on to SL and then proceeds to detail all his adventures. I finally had to cut him off and explain to him that while nice, and that I'm glad he can do those things outside of SL, I am in SL to experience SL for the most part and that if I want to know about his excursions he can post it on other apps such as facebook or myspace or a blog , etc. . I even get annoyed when I am at clubs or social places in SL and people will go on in chat or voice about how they are having some awsome alcoholic beverages or doing their laundry so whatever mundane rl thing they can make a focal point brought into SL. I'm not impressed with your ability to hold liquor (or be a slobbering slurring mess on mic), or how you are making those awful noises because you are stuffing your face (on voice) lol.

Edited December 9, 2017 by Hunter Stern