Avatars are anti social

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, danababy69 said:

right?  an almost absolute role play scenario where you are always what you want to be, and are adressed so,  then you sit unchallenged.

I can't imagine anything more dull.  Plus they always put the females in that one pose, whatever it's called.  Kneeling in subjugation.

[Rowan Amore]

4 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I can't imagine anything more dull.  Plus they always put the females in that one pose, whatever it's called.  Kneeling in subjugation.

Nadu

[danababy69]

Just now, Love Zhaoying said:

I can't imagine anything more dull.  Plus they always put the females in that one pose, whatever it's called.  Kneeling in subjugation.

aye, it's static and stagnant, it's ironically(as it relates to the first person i were respondin to) more anti-social than 'hey' -- and aye.. almost immediate nadu pose in Gorean RP for lasses.. whilst, if that is what you want, that's okay, to rule or be ruled.. but, to get back on topic on a day to day basis, i'd argue more conversation's are started with 'hey' than, not.. and it's again more anti-social to tell people how to interact with you, than to just interact with whomever regardless of whether they say 'hey' or not

[Love Zhaoying]

ETA: WRONG THREAD! Deleted.

Edited June 28, 2023 by Love Zhaoying

[Silent Mistwalker]

35 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

One solution is to become Gorean or something similar, so you can demand to be addressed in any manner customary with your Alpha status!

 

That doesn't work either. Just ask the "masters" who've tried. 🤭

Edited June 28, 2023 by Silent Mistwalker

[Coffee Pancake]

36 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

One solution is to become Gorean or something similar, so you can demand to be addressed in any manner customary with your Alpha status!

It's really an example of a "cultural" difference that is accessible to western English speakers.

Gor is also an entirely valid target for criticism, however people might want to explore a wider selection of fan fiction RP genres before deciding Gor is as bad as it gets (oh hi there, omegaverse). Next to newer fashionable stuff, Gor is genial dance for old farts holding royal court .. yes master 1 2 3 Kneel 1 2 3 elaborately make coffee 1 2 3 ... 

That set piece nature of it makes it so there is always a correct thing to be doing and a correct way to respond. Which sounds boring as hell, till you realize that makes even small indiscretions an adventure. Other (even G rated) role-plays function around the exact same artificial dynamic of strong rules that exist only to be broken.

In SL this is an example of a intentionally enforced dynamic providing a base rule-set that overcomes everyone rolling up and not wanting to say a word.

In the context of such roleplays, lurking is rude, where as without such context, lurking with an avatar is second nature.

[danababy69]

19 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

It's really an example of a "cultural" difference that is accessible to western English speakers.

Gor is also an entirely valid target for criticism, however people might want to explore a wider selection of fan fiction RP genres before deciding Gor is as bad as it gets (oh hi there, omegaverse). Next to newer fashionable stuff, Gor is genial dance for old farts holding royal court .. yes master 1 2 3 Kneel 1 2 3 elaborately make coffee 1 2 3 ... 

That set piece nature of it makes it so there is always a correct thing to be doing and a correct way to respond. Which sounds boring as hell, till you realize that makes even small indiscretions an adventure. Other (even G rated) role-plays function around the exact same artificial dynamic of strong rules that exist only to be broken.

In SL this is an example of a intentionally enforced dynamic providing a base rule-set that overcomes everyone rolling up and not wanting to say a word.

In the context of such roleplays, lurking is rude, where as without such context, lurking with an avatar is second nature.

am initially from the UK me self, and still perfectly understand that 'Hey' is not inherently rude from it's outset, and as this thing as the world wide web exists, unitin different cultures and understandins, havin been on either it or SL long enough, would give someone ample discernment, between 'hey' as in the rude lad gettin your attention at the pub, and a 'hey' full of affection, and curiosity. me point bein to handwave it entirely as cultural difference, is to remove some accountability from someone, who interacts with different cultures via the SL medium, and since SL doesnt really display your ethnicity nor culture above your head, it is wise to go in with the idea, that you are indeed interactin with a grabbag, and to approach everyone as though, they are in good faith, until they prove otherwise, designatin 'hey' immediately to it's 'rude' connotation, without bein aware of where you are, minglin with other cultures is invitin a world of trouble onto yourself, for bein quick to judge without all teh facts

Edited June 28, 2023 by danababy69

[Coffee Pancake]

Just now, danababy69 said:

am initially from the UK me self,

same .. long gone now.

Just now, danababy69 said:

perfectly understand that 'Hey' is not inherently rude from it's outset, and as this thing as world wide web exists, unitin different cultures and understandins, havin been on either it or SL long enough, would give someone ample discernment, between 'hey' as in the rude lad gettin your attention at the pub, and a 'hey' full of affection, and curiosity

The issue here isn't that "hey" or "hi, how are you?" are misunderstood, its that culturally in SL those greetings tends to be short hand for "do you fancy humping avatars"

 

 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

8 hours ago, Maitimo said:

I think it depends on the club. If crowds are large, a host is really necessary because the DJ isn;t going to be able to keep up on their own.  At Chiaroscuro, we always had Greville as host until he passed away, now I host when our other DJ is playing, but when I'm DJing I do it without a host. There's not too many guests, usually, that I can't do both roles together.

This totally makes sense: in the context of a really busy club, a good host / hostess is probably invaluable. I don't think the good ones get enough credit (or tips).

That said, I have another DJ friend who regularly plays to HUGE crowds at places like Warehouse 21. Large enough that I occasionally can't get in. And she somehow manages not just to chatter pretty volubly in local, but also manage a dance HUD with an enormous number of dances on it that she shares with her audience. (She uses an old-fashioned chim.) But I think she puts a huge amount of work into preparing each set in advance, queuing the songs beforehand, and so forth. A lot of her chatter is banter, but she also talks a great deal about the music itself: she's enormously knowledgeable.

8 hours ago, Maitimo said:

I'm not sure I would be comfortable if a DJ asked me to dance though. That isn't something I would do and would likely put me off.

It IS weird. I don't know of another DJ who does this. In this particular context, however, it "works," and is the expected thing. I think it's a sort of cultural difference that's developed around his own group of followers. It's a very non-hierarchical group. Indeed, a fair amount of the chatter will often be devoted to good-humoured poking and teasing of the DJ. It often feels more like a party in someone's house than a "public event."

But he's also VERY finicky about details. He's a musician in RL, and has for decades organized a music festival, and he seems to have developed a kind of "system" for SL. For instance, when doing a set in an unfamiliar environment, he's very picky about the size of the dance floor, because he doesn't want anyone on it to be outside of local chat range.

[danababy69]

11 minutes ago, Coffee Pancake said:

same .. long gone now.

The issue here isn't that "hey" or "hi, how are you?" are misunderstood, its that culturally in SL those greetings tends to be short hand for "do you fancy humping avatars"

 

 

that i can understand, but again it's best to let people have enough rope to hang themselves than it is to hang them before they've even committed a crime, i've amassed many loyal frands on SL, people i would trust with me life.. by not shuttin down conversations, because of how i wanted to be addressed or spoken to.. if you let people be themselves, you will either find out, that they're not who you want with you, and leave them, or you will keep them, and they will love you, for acceptin them as they are, and not askin them to speak, or be a specific way to be with you, and from there, they will be willin to do nearly anythin, that you want. and it's because you dont expect it, dont ask for it, dont hold them to some unrealistic standard.. and they appreciate that immensely, it vastly more social, to let people be them, even if you dont agree with them. me current SL partner and i, cannot agree on one thing politically, other than governments tend to suck, otherwise we are perfect diametric opposites in that regard, however, i dont ask her to be anythin other than her, i don tell her to speak, like she believes what i beleive to interact with me... it is why you, understand goin into the situation that is giant grabbag of wtf, you dunnu who youre talkin to, what they believe, what they think, where they're from,  not every 'hey' is the 'lets screw' hey, just like not everyone on SL, despite the vast user base bein horn dogs, is tryin to get in your knickers

Edited June 28, 2023 by danababy69

[nieru]

People generally join chatrooms with the intention to chat, there isn't really much else to do. What do people come to SL to do? All kinds of things.

A chatroom encourages chat not only by virtue of being a chat room, but also because it generally defines the subject matter, or purpose of the chat. Look at any Discord server and you'll find some base level of organization. Each channel has a purpose which directs the conversation. Look at guilds/freecompanies/linkshells in WOW or FFXIV: there is usually some intention, be it raiding, hunting, socializing, roleplaying, etc. And even then, in a chatroom you only see the chatters, because that's all there is to see. You don't see the silent group - without avatars they're invisible.

Strangers stand around in silence because they are strangers with no common goal or purpose or reason to interact. If you want to chat with people, you need to find people who share your purpose of chatting. But in SL people can have all kinds of purposes. You can't force socialization. Regardless of the environment, people who want to socialize will find a way to do it. And people who don't, won't.

[Love Zhaoying]

Personally, since I have seen plenty in these Forums who can barely write a coherent sentence  - let alone a well-formed paragraph, I am more likely to think of "Hey" as the "standard greeting" among the younger generation and not read much into it.  We are lucky to get more than a grunt or a gesture. "Hey" is almost a breath of fresh air. 

You know, like the kid remembered to flush, the dog didn't shat the bed, the husband remembered our anniversary, etc.

It's all about setting realistic expectations.  "Hello"? Good luck with that!

 

[Ayashe Ninetails]

25 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I am more likely to think of "Hey" as the "standard greeting" among the younger generation and not read much into it. 

Perhaps regional. It's a very standard greeting around where I live, usually among people who are familiar with each other, but not always. Been that way forever. Go into a restaurant where the staff knows you, and you'll hear that a lot.

On the Internet, I see that a LOT. Similar situation - with people who are familiar. As a fresh opener - sometimes, depending on the situation. Very popular and common in multiplayer games regardless of player age - "Hey, you looking for a group?" Etc. In SL, it doesn't bother me whatsoever since I'm so used to it.

"Hi, how r u" is the "uh oh" opener for me, but mostly since I can't stand textspeak and it gives me horrible flashbacks to 1337. None of that screams anti-social to me, though.

Edited June 28, 2023 by Ayashe Ninetails
Grammaring

[Love Zhaoying]

3 minutes ago, Ayashe Ninetails said:

Perhaps regional. It's a very standard greeting around where I live, usually among people who are familiar with each other, but not always. Been that way forever. Go into a restaurant where the staff knows you, and you'll hear that a lot.

On the Internet, I see that a LOT. Similar situation - with people who are familiar. As a fresh opener - sometimes, depending on the situation. Very popular and common in multiplayer games regardless of player age - "Hey, you looking for a group?" Etc. In SL, it doesn't bother me whatsoever since I'm so used to it.

"Hi, how r u" is the "uh oh" opener for me, but mostly since I can't stand textspeak and it gives me horrible flashbacks to 1337. None of that screams anti-social to me, though.

Amongst gays, an extended "Heyyyy" with a lilting tone a la Ru Paul is absolutely normal.

[Blush Bravin]

Forgive me if this has already been said. I come to this thread on it's ninth page, so catching up would be very time consuming.

The first thing that came to mind is that in the physical world when in a large gathering our words are not broadcast to everyone within a large room. We tend to group up and talk to not usually more than 6 to 10 people at time. So the mechanism we have here doesn't seem natural. Even in a group chat, when you get more than 10 people actively posting at the same time, heaven forbit talking at the same time, chat moves too quickly to even keep up with the conversation. 

So I don't think it's that avatars are anti-social but that avatars are constrained by the mechanism we use to vocalize in a large group.

[Ayashe Ninetails]

3 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

Amongst gays, an extended "Heyyyy" with a lilting tone a la Ru Paul is absolutely normal.

Yes, also cultural. It'd feel like living in a parallel universe if people "didn't" use that greeting often. 😄

[Gabriele Graves]

There are plenty of more serious anti-social behaviours inworld.  I find it difficult to get worked up over a greeting personally.

[Silent Mistwalker]

[Ceka Cianci]

Just walk into any club and say really loud, Omg my bagina fell on the floor, Who turned up the gravity to 11? \o/

See if things get started then...😁

 

 

[Love Zhaoying]

13 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

Just walk into any club and say really loud, Omg my bagina fell on the floor, Who turned up the gravity to 11? \o/

See if things get started then...😁

 

 

"I can't find my puss-puss! Has anyone seen my puss-puss? Excuse me sir, have you seen my puss?"

[Orwar]

57 minutes ago, Ceka Cianci said:

bagina

   Sounds like some kind of genitalia-shaped baked goods kids would be forced to sell in elementary school in the name of .. I don't even know what, any more. 

[Love Zhaoying]

4 minutes ago, Orwar said:

1 hour ago, Ceka Cianci said:

bagina

   Sounds like some kind of genitalia-shaped baked goods kids would be forced to sell in elementary school in the name of .. I don't even know what, any more. 

Maybe some type of lunch meat, like bologna. Some kind of meat you could "flap around".

[Rat Luv]

15 hours ago, SarahKB7 Koskinen said:

"Hey!" (in my part of the world) is an imported aggressive shouty loud call word (from Scandinavian "Hei!" origins) 

Those vikings...so rude! 

15 hours ago, SarahKB7 Koskinen said:

Similar to our own native "Oi!" word too.

The most appropriate greeting when you enter a new sim is "Oi Oi Saveloy" 🥴

[Orwar]

4 minutes ago, Rat Luv said:

Those vikings...so rude! 

   I mean, 'hei/hej' literally just means 'hi'. If we want to rudely grab someone's attention we'd probably shout 'hörru' (short for 'hör upp', 'listen up').

   .. But yes, if you'd be as kind as to hand over that there church silver without causing too much of a bother, I'll make sure that the monks will be sold to a thrall-driver that isn't too sadistic!

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Orwar said:

I'll make sure that the monks will be sold to a thrall-driver that isn't too sadistic!

Can't we have just a little bit of peril?