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Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?


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1 minute ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I actually have never spoken to the owner so there is no "friendship" to be had. :)

I just know that if that were a common occurrence then, in four years, seeing as I go there a lot there would be some evidence of this happening.

This club would not survive, as it has,  as one of the more popular clubs if they banned everyone that made a simple joke, as you say in local chat. 

I would suspect that it was something in your personal IM to them that got you banned. Not a simple remark in local that was a joke.

Since the owner isn't here to defend themselves it is normally against forum rules to post this type of remarks here naming the club. 

You and Kali need to work this out as you are saying that my humor didn't warrant her anger and she is saying that it was the worst thing I could have said so her anger was warranted. I hope you two can work that out. I am sorry that she took it as anything other than how it was intended.

I am sorry that this upset you too and took away from the point of the topic.

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2 hours ago, Marius Darkheart said:

You and Kali need to work this out as you are saying that my humor didn't warrant her anger and she is saying that it was the worst thing I could have said so her anger was warranted. I hope you two can work that out. I am sorry that she took it as anything other than how it was intended.

I am sorry that this upset you too and took away from the point of the topic.

Perhaps you need to learn to read people. I'm not upset in the least. Why would I be? Strangers on the internet don't upset me however, just reading your tone on these message here I can tell your comment was anything but a little innocent joke.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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21 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

Perhaps you need to learn to read people. I'm not upset in the least. Why would I be? Strangers on the internet don't upset me however, just reading your tone on these message here I can tell your comment was anything but a little innocent joke.

You should learn how to not accuse people of lying and keep the forums a pleasant place for others. 

Move on. Have fun! If you can't then please message me privately so this doesn't keep going on in the forums. Not the place for your attacks. I would be happy to discuss this with you privately. 

Edited by Marius Darkheart
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  • Moles

Please let's drop the discussion about how someone got banned from a particular club.    That's between him and the owner, and since none of the rest of us were there, there's no point in trying to litigate it here.   

Any further debate about it would be badly off-topic, to my mind.

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I will write on the topic.
I like it when users in the SL world are less communicative, because I have a variety of experiences over the years and so personally I am only interested in being able to communicate with my minimal audience in the SL world. I ignore others.
Of course, I can understand that some people do not read the lack of desire to communicate in the profile. However, I consider it necessary to see if there is a check mark next to the "Meet" item. This will help users better orient themselves in finding friends and just acquaintances who love communication and have a lot of free time for it.
A great practice is locations that are designed specifically for communication between users and finding mentors who will introduce newbies to the world of SL. Newbies can sometimes get lost and distracted because they don't understand a lot of things. That is why individual users of the SL world have created locations and help for them. Perhaps this topic should be covered so that it is easier and simpler for users to navigate and so that they do not bother those who are not interested in this at all.

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On 9/11/2022 at 8:35 PM, Randall Ahren said:

So you agree SL is less sociable now, and we should adapt by being less friendly?

I happily throw my friendliness all over. Sometimes my interpretation of friendly isn't the 'norm' lol, whatevs right?

Seriously though, I find SL to be very sociable now as ever. Most residents seem well informed on tech and social constructs.

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On 8/28/2022 at 4:41 PM, Han Held said:

I actually wound up befriending a lot of people because we were the only ones who weren't zombies and were willing to shock gasp chat in local.

Some of my earliest club experiences were fairly unpleasant.   I'd hear about a popular place, I'd go check it out, find it very crowded and local chat VERY quiet. If I bothered to stick around long enough, I might see some local chat by a small group. Because they knew each other and had common experiences, their chat was essentially private. If I had no clue what they were discussing, I'd stay quiet and soon leave. When I did find a club where new arrivals were greeted by hosts and others, I'd stick around longer and would often end up joining in on a discussion when I had something to add. Making friends came later as I would get to know the regular chatters. Two things I learned and felt from the beginning...it feels bad to be ignored and it feels good to be included. To this day, because of those early feelings, I am almost compulsive about greeting new arrivals in clubs and sometimes other places.  I make an effort to update that person if they arrived in the middle of a discussion (or round of silliness) and, if all works well, the newbie picks up the thread rather quickly.

The thing is, a lot of clubs are more about keeping the place crowded with people who tip...numbers matter...than they do with making customers feel comfy.  I like music, i like dancing, I like local chat. I don't go to clubs to talk to one person in IM . I go out into the world (clubs, etc.) to be sociable. If somebody wants to hear the music but NOT interact with others, they can often find the stream the dj is using and listen from home or while building or sailing or whatever. 

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48 minutes ago, Cate Foulsbane said:

Some of my earliest club experiences were fairly unpleasant.   I'd hear about a popular place, I'd go check it out, find it very crowded and local chat VERY quiet. If I bothered to stick around long enough, I might see some local chat by a small group. Because they knew each other and had common experiences, their chat was essentially private. If I had no clue what they were discussing, I'd stay quiet and soon leave. When I did find a club where new arrivals were greeted by hosts and others, I'd stick around longer and would often end up joining in on a discussion when I had something to add. Making friends came later as I would get to know the regular chatters. Two things I learned and felt from the beginning...it feels bad to be ignored and it feels good to be included. To this day, because of those early feelings, I am almost compulsive about greeting new arrivals in clubs and sometimes other places.  I make an effort to update that person if they arrived in the middle of a discussion (or round of silliness) and, if all works well, the newbie picks up the thread rather quickly.

The thing is, a lot of clubs are more about keeping the place crowded with people who tip...numbers matter...than they do with making customers feel comfy.  I like music, i like dancing, I like local chat. I don't go to clubs to talk to one person in IM . I go out into the world (clubs, etc.) to be sociable. If somebody wants to hear the music but NOT interact with others, they can often find the stream the dj is using and listen from home or while building or sailing or whatever. 

Everyone is different.  I actually dislike being greeted when I arrive somewhere.  It gives me that flashback of "let's say Hi to our newest student, Rowan Amore". Don't like it at all.

My sociable IS going out and about regardless of whether I talk to a single person.  Just being amongst a group is plenty social for me most times.  I rarely ever chat in local.  Never have and really hate when others try to drag me into it by addressing me and asking anything.  I've been this way since day one so I'm no less.social now than I was before.

Now if you message me privately, I'll be more than happy to chit chat forever.

Different strokes and all that.  

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I think Secondlife is pretty nice, but I am lost as I havent been online in years and trying to make friends is for the very least highly difficult. I think with all of the social distancing and everything going on, as well as, inflation. iDK. Seems to contribute to the non-sociable-ness. i guess.

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1 hour ago, Cate Foulsbane said:

If somebody wants to hear the music but NOT interact with others, they can often find the stream the dj is using and listen from home or while building or sailing or whatever. 

They don't want to listen the stream from somewhere else. That's not how the game is played. The game is played by making an avatar as attractive as possible and parking it AFK at a busy venue to see how many fish bite. They won't get any bites if their avatar is away from the crowd.

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29 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said:

They don't want to listen the stream from somewhere else. That's not how the game is played. The game is played by making an avatar as attractive as possible and parking it AFK at a busy venue to see how many fish bite. They won't get any bites if their avatar is away from the crowd.

I'm not playing the same game you are. I have no interest in getting a bite from someone just because my avatar is cute. I'd rather chat with people in groups while I build, decorate my houses, dress my avatars, sort my inventory, or wander the grid.

Edited by Persephone Emerald
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38 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said:

They don't want to listen the stream from somewhere else. That's not how the game is played. The game is played by making an avatar as attractive as possible and parking it AFK at a busy venue to see how many fish bite. They won't get any bites if their avatar is away from the crowd.

You seem more jaded than you were when you IM'd me from one of these clubs :) I thought we had a nice conversation but I wasn't there to look cute and see how many "bites" I could get. Was that what you were being? the fish?

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8 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

You seem more jaded than you were when you IM'd me from one of these clubs :) I thought we had a nice conversation but I wasn't there to look cute and see how many "bites" I could get. Was that what you were being? the fish?

That was the 2nd time I saw you there. The first time you were AFK.

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10 minutes ago, Randall Ahren said:

That was the 2nd time I saw you there. The first time you were AFK.

Maybe not AFK. If the person IMing me doesn't say something interesting to start a conversation I tend to ignore them.  I'm rarely AFK if I'm at a club. Also, sometimes I forget to turn off my auto respond after work.

Edited by Sam1 Bellisserian
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.

14 hours ago, Randall Ahren said:

They don't want to listen the stream from somewhere else. That's not how the game is played. The game is played by making an avatar as attractive as possible and parking it AFK at a busy venue to see how many fish bite. They won't get any bites if their avatar is away from the crowd.

 

icegif-357.gif

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On 9/11/2022 at 7:28 PM, vanettda Lassard said:

Resident from 2005-2022.  

Rule #1 in SL:  Things change. LindenLabs changes things. Sims change. Regulars who fill those sims change. Residents drop off the radar (maybe they create and alt, or take a SL break, or have RL social / mental / marital / financial issues, or just die in RL) Fads come and go. Lifestyles change. How we interact changes. I loved, and still do, enjoy a completely typing text connection. RP and emoting in text was an art IMHO. In order to keep up you had to be 100% focused on your partner's cues. It was incredibly intimate. I of course use voice now where appropriate in world, and, with the right group, I use Discord while building or dancing in SL. Out of all of this, most importantly, residents interests change. What was cool and exciting ten years ago (SLex? Greedy Greedy? -- although I still play GG to be honest.) is boring as hell. All of it is in a constant flux.

Rule #2 in SL: Let it go. Bend with the winds of change and adapt.

 

letitgo.JPG

I agree with you that people change. But I think the people in Second Life have changed. Not like how it was before. Like I said before when I started Second Life you would be hanging with one group of people and then IMs from others wanting to hang out. I just doesn't seem like it's there anymore. Like it used to be

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On 9/11/2022 at 8:35 PM, Randall Ahren said:

So you agree SL is less sociable now, and we should adapt by being less friendly?

Well, for me I think it's coming back slowly. I notice a lot of old avatars are coming back. Some say they always been around. But will Second Life come back with the socializing like it used to be? I think it is slowly and will come back like it once was

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On 9/11/2022 at 9:43 PM, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

I have to say that there must be more to this story because I go to this club quite often, over 4 years and I've never known the owner to be like this EVER.  You can't expect to walk in a club and all of a sudden be besties with the regulars.  I've also never seen this club go 10 minutes without someone talking in local. I'm not a regular chatter in local but everyone that is has always been nice and for the most part polite.  The only time I've ever seen anyone get banned were when two couples were fighting because one guy accidently hit his girls spanker and they wouldn't shut up about it in local. They all got banned but that was the only time I've seen it.  So I highly doubt you made an innocent joke about everyone being AFK and the owner cussed and cursed you and you got banned. More to this  story for sure.

Well, when I go to a club. The host always greets people when they walk in, and people talk in local and do gestures. They have fun. I mean I been to some clubs like you said where no one is talking in local. Some people may be afk. I do message people, and some may not respond right away but they do after a while because they go afk and do RL around the house

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On 9/12/2022 at 12:28 PM, Marius Darkheart said:

It went just that way. TP'd in. Said hello in local. No one said anything. 10 minutes later I kidded around due to the quiet and got the the female part of ownership yelling at me. I didn't engage other than stating it was kidding and left the club.

She was upset about my kidding around that avis that were there are bots. 
Also not uncommon for crowded clubs to have little to no one talking in local, as many others have said.

I didn't realize I was banned till there was a live singer that I enjoy who was performing there and tried to TP in to see her.

There is nothing more. She may have been in a bad mood that day. Sometimes we snap at the little things when we are having an off day. I have no reason to lie about this nor is it my way nor does it make any sense to.
Maybe something happened at the club before I got there and why people were quiet. Just sharing my experience as to why I feel SL is less social. 

This interaction I will also add to why SL is less social as your friendship with the owners seems to be the reason why you are here in this thread and replying to me in the way that you are.

We all have off days. It happens. We aren't perfect. 

 

Well, I am not sure what clubs you go too. But my experience of the clubs I been going too everyone greets everyone in local. And they chat in local to each other. But as far as being less social for me it isn't in the clubs. It's more like the people on my friends list. Some do respond to me when I message them. But some people on my friends list don't. I remember back when I started the people on your friends list would message you when you logged in. But now it seems like they don't anymore. Like it once was. But I do believe it's coming back. 

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On 9/12/2022 at 12:40 PM, kali Wylder said:

People tend to extrapolate their experiences to conclusions about the world around us. Generally speaking, those conclusions are generally wrong. You were banned from a club where you insulted the owner.  To conclude that SL has become less social based on this experience is not necessarily accurate.  You state your conclusion here in the forum and are called out on it.  You conclude that this is further proof that SL has become less social.  Wrong again.

I agree it's not less sociable in clubs for me. I always get greeted from the host and the people in the clubs. Sometimes so many people say my name in local.  Like I said where the less sociable for me is the people on my friends list. I mean I do make new friends but then like the next day I try IM them and they say they are busy, or they don't respond at all. But some of my friends on my friends list have been responding to me and wanting to hang out. Like I said I do believe it's coming back to Second Life the socializing like it used to be.

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On 9/12/2022 at 2:20 PM, Rowan Amore said:

And there's always one person in any given crowded.p!ace.who makes the same comment.  It does get tiresome.  No, we aren't bots.  Those would be all those avatars on a sky platform at pretty much every stripper/escort club.

 

The overwhelming local goings-on that used to happen when I started in 09 has thankfully calmed down since then.  I prefer private chat no matter where I go.  Always have.  I don't want to hear anyone's private 1 on 1 chit chat in SL.anymore than I do in RL.  Also, I almost always get a response when I send an IM.  I almost always answer IMs that I receive.  This has basically remained a constant over 12+ years.

I totally agree.  We aren't less friendly.  We just engage differently now.

I agree with you. I rather talk in IM instead of local chat. I may sometimes get in a group call with others. But I do prefer one on one chat. 

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