Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before?

[Kathlen Onyx]

1 hour ago, Charolotte Caxton said:

I have nothing against you. I don’t think anyone is being ‘mean’. I just am pointing out he’s not some rando weirdo. This thread looks like a debate so don’t listen to me. Randall Ahren took care of me when I was new. He never was perverse or weird. He is a great builder and a fun conversationalist. We went on many adventures and Second Life wouldn’t have been as wonderful as it is without him. In my life. So. That’s all. Just stop attacking him. Not you personally. In general. 

To be fair his responses seem more "troll like" especially the later ones and I've had conversations with him as well so I know he's not like this in-world. Whether he's trolling or injecting his dry humor I have no idea. He's a smart fella though so I think saying "I block and derender anyone that has a auto respond or AFK message" I think he knew that was going to get push back as ridiculous and an example of an adult temper tantrum. 

[Cate Foulsbane]

On 9/17/2022 at 4:54 AM, blissfulbreeze said:

Men don't realize this happens a lot. Of course some of us are jaded now. It's abuse. 

I know one man who had a female avie for a while.  He sure found out how ugly a lot of guys can be when they don't get the responses they want. I would imagine some women treat men in a similar way in SL and RL. But having been a woman in both places for a long long time, I can attest...some men can be real ugly sometimes.

[Charolotte Caxton]

21 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

To be fair his responses seem more "troll like" especially the later ones and I've had conversations with him as well so I know he's not like this in-world. Whether he's trolling or injecting his dry humor I have no idea. He's a smart fella though so I think saying "I block and derender anyone that has a auto respond or AFK message" I think he knew that was going to get push back as ridiculous and an example of an adult temper tantrum. 

Well, all I can say is I know him and he is a good person. We dated. He was my bf. He treated my with the upmost respect. We only drifted cause I was offline for a few years and when I came back he treated me with the same utmost respect. So I don’t know what I’m defending or if I’m way off but the Randall I know is not a troll. I would like for this discussion to end. We don’t come here to talk about each other. 

[Charolotte Caxton]

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Edited September 19, 2022 by Charolotte Caxton

[Katherine Heartsong]

On 9/15/2022 at 11:34 PM, Cinnamon Mistwood said:

Well, this thread has opened my eyes a bit.  I have become less social inworld over more than a decade, so I suppose I am part of the problem.  I still reach out to random people sometimes, but not as often as I used to.  My friend group has grown pretty small and I'm content doing my own thing.

I need to make more of an effort.  I will try to hit a music club once or twice a week and make a point to respond to each IM that comes in.  I'm not really interested hooking up but I do enjoy meeting new people. A lot.

I'm just out of practice with small talk and jaded at times.  If anyone sees me milling around at a club, send me an IM or address me in local chat.  I will answer and maybe even dance. There are too many lonely people.

I have no height, gender, mesh, or species requirements. No pressure.  I will never ask you to prove who you are or try to force you to use voice. Just friendly banter and dancing.

If you are shy or have social anxiety, let me know and we can dance without too much awkward chatting or I can babble on about nothing special while you just read along.  😊

I'll be watching for you, Cinnamon

[Katherine Heartsong]

3 hours ago, Cate Foulsbane said:

I know one man who had a female avie for a while.  He sure found out how ugly a lot of guys can be when they don't get the responses they want. I would imagine some women treat men in a similar way in SL and RL. But having been a woman in both places for a long long time, I can attest...some men can be real ugly sometimes.

Yup.

You should see some of the stuff that gets sent to me via IM. And those are the ones I know immediately have not read my profile.

I keep turning them politely down, but I swear if I was just a tiny bit less honest I'd start cat-fishing the worst ones, only breaking the gender thing to them after we, umm, "danced".

[Guku Aabye]

On 9/18/2022 at 9:52 PM, Katherine Heartsong said:

Yup.

You should see some of the stuff that gets sent to me via IM. And those are the ones I know immediately have not read my profile.

I keep turning them politely down, but I swear if I was just a tiny bit less honest I'd start cat-fishing the worst ones, only breaking the gender thing to them after we, umm, "danced".

I was wondering Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before? 

[Katherine Heartsong]

32 minutes ago, Guku Aabye said:

I was wondering Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before? 

Less? I think so. Certainly different.

[Guku Aabye]

5 minutes ago, Katherine Heartsong said:

Less? I think so. Certainly different.

I agree with you. 

[Kathlen Onyx]

45 minutes ago, Guku Aabye said:

I was wondering Do you all think that Second Life is less sociable now than before? 

Isn't this what this thread is all about?

[Guku Aabye]

On 9/16/2022 at 5:56 PM, Gabriele Graves said:

Everyone has different preferences and what I am reading in the last few pages of this topic is that some people are judging others for having different preferences to them because it doesn't suit them.

When I go to a club, I am there to listen to the music and engage in some light social chatter with the people in the room who want to participate in that.  I don't really want the vast majority of random IMs.

People often feel free to say a whole bunch of stuff in IMs that they would never say in chat where others can see which can include a whole range of bad behaviours.  Surprise, surprise!

If I don't know a person and they cannot say what they want to me in chat, then I don't want to receive it.  I understand that it's not reasonable to expect others to know my preferences without telling them and so my auto-response is on to let them know that I am happy to talk in chat but not privately in IMs.   I get that some people feel more comfortable in IMs instead of chat but as they are a stranger to me, I don't have to indulge them.

To me talking one-on-one in private IMs only at a SL social gathering of any kind is no different to going to one in RL where everyone is able to text everyone in the room whether they know them or are a total stranger and that is what they are exclusively doing so there is no general chatter at all.  That's not a social environment to me.

In my world, chat is where the casual social interactions take place, IMs are where private conversations take place.

Of course, it's different if I know the person beyond exchanging a few words and/or we are chatting in a group.
 

I agree on that. But like you said everyone is different. For me I rather hang out with people in Second Life and do things with them. Instead of just sitting by myself in Second Life. I am a very sociable person in Second Life. But like you said everyone is different and some may not want that. Like I do in Second Life 

[Guku Aabye]

3 minutes ago, Sam1 Bellisserian said:

Isn't this what this thread is all about?

Yes lol