Pearl Worried

[Lindal Kidd]

Eh?

[So Whimsy]

2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Don't worry about it. It happens. these are the forums. I've learned that, and I'm new.

After 800 posts you're far from new.

[Bagnu]

Just now, So Whimsy said:

And it's never once occured to you to maybe...you know..try to change it? You control what your fingers do when typing up a new thread/reply, sometimes it's better to simply remove your hands from the keyboard instead.

Actually, no. I am who I am. There is the ignore.....

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Luna Bliss]

@Bagnu

Do you get annoyed with all the projecting?  I can't believe some of the stuff people come up with from their own minds and believe about you, and the twisting around of words and meanings...it's like you're some kind of sponge soaking up their cr*p.   It would drive me nuts.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Luna Bliss

[Bagnu]

Just now, So Whimsy said:

After 800 posts you're far from new.

I've only been in SL since February.

[Bagnu]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

@Bagnu

Do you get annoyed with all the projecting?  I can't believe some of the stuff people come up with from their own minds and believe about you, and the twisting around of words and meanings...it's like you're some kind of sponge soaking up their cr*p.   It would drive me nuts.

Of course I do. I'm human. I maintain my composure though. And I'm a sponge in the sense that I'm learning. Inworld would be a very different story....

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Amina Sopwith]

I'm now pretty sure that you're a troll. Something about the way you've started to go all "calm down dear" and to mirror other people's language only insofar as it will inform how you can continue to annoy people...it's a bit creepy. 

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I'm now pretty sure that you're a troll. Something about the way you've started to go all "calm down dear" and to mirror other people's language only insofar as it will inform how you can continue to annoy people...it's a bit creepy. 

Your projections are what's creepy.  

[So Whimsy]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

Your projections are what's creepy.  

Just because you keep saying it, doesn't make it true.

[Jordyn McGregor]

2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Actually, no. I am who I am. There is the ignore.....

I'm sorry, but this...no.

You cannot spend thread after thread bleating on about being an escort and how people don't accept you for it (when in fact we do, it's just the continuous bleating about it we disagreed with), have white knights and virtual signallers charging to your defense and rescue and building you up into this sort of misunderstood tart with a heart persona and that the rest of us are soul killing meanies, and say stuff like "I'm trying to understand my place here by ignoring all the critiques and advice I am given cos actually I'm really annoying and just want the attention"...and then when asked why you don't change that if you know it's annoying, turn around and say "BLOCK ME THEN."

THIS is why you get the negativity from so many on your threads.  If you gave one hoot about it, you would do as so many suggested and took a breath and reflected on what you are actually saying, instead of just jumping in and saying it without caring who it offends, how it will be taken and how it's making you look.

[Luna Bliss]

9 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Of course I do. I'm human. I maintain my composure though. And I'm a sponge in the sense that I'm learning. Inworld would be a very different story....

Have you any experience with being a scapegoat or getting the Scarlet letter in a forum or in RL?   What happens is nearly everything you say gets interpreted negatively -- you aren't given the benefit of the doubt as non-scapegoat posters are.  You become a sponge for other people's projections.    I hate to say it, but you may just need to leave the forum.  The blame is just too strong and I don't trust this particular group of people to have the insight to know what they're doing or care to turn it around.    

[Jordyn McGregor]

16 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Your projections are what's creepy.  

Actually no it's yours that are creepy.  You are forcing YOUR projections onto what I reply to @Bagnu. 

21 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

@Bagnu

Do you get annoyed with all the projecting?  I can't believe some of the stuff people come up with from their own minds and believe about you, and the twisting around of words and meanings...it's like you're some kind of sponge soaking up their cr*p.   It would drive me nuts.

I have no problems with her being an escort.  I have spent a lot of my SL being an unpaid one myself (ie a sl*t) so have NO hangups or problems with anyone who expresses themselves sexually in SL.  The only beliefs I have about her are what I express in my replies - that she just doesn't care about the consequences of what she posts because she is all about the attention (which she has admitted to).  

I have constantly said, I don't have a problem with @Bagnu as a person.  My problem is in what she says.  But I guess you are spending too much time charging to the rescue and playing armchair psychologist to actually listen to what anyone else says because it's not fitting your narrative.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Jordan Whitt

[Luna Bliss]

Really, this is ridiculous.

Someone talks more than most, as the extrovert she is, and posts a few unusual topics in an unusual format.

The forum goes berserk.

WTF is wrong with this forum!?

I'm going to bed, sick of it.

[Maryanne Solo]

[Bagnu]

Just now, Luna Bliss said:

Have you any experience with being a scapegoat or getting the Scarlet letter in a forum or in RL?   What happens is nearly everything you say gets interpreted negatively -- you aren't given the benefit of the doubt as non-scapegoat posters are.  You become a sponge for other people's projections.    I hate to say it, but you may just need to leave the forum.  The blame is just too strong and I don't trust this particular group of people to have the insight to know what they're doing or care to turn it around.    

I have developed some very strong SL relationships from the forum. And that continues to grow as more people from here enter my SL life Not clients, but very dear friends.. it IS difficult sometimes, but it HAS been worth it!!!

[Bagnu]

6 minutes ago, Jordan Whitt said:

Actually no it's yours that are creepy.  You are forcing YOUR projections onto what I reply to @Bagnu. 

I have no problems with her being an escort.  I have spent a lot of my SL being an unpaid one myself (ie a sl*t) so have NO hangups or problems with anyone who expresses themselves sexually in SL.  The only beliefs I have about her are what I express in my replies - that she just doesn't care about the consequences of what she posts because she is all about the attention (which she has admitted to).  

I have constantly said, I don't have a problem with @Bagnu as a person.  My problem is in what she says.  But I guess you are spending too much time charging to the rescue and playing armchair psychologist to actually listen to what anyone else says because it's not fitting your narrative.

I'm me. I deal with consequences, and no one will change me. Period Ever. End of story lol!!!

[Jordyn McGregor]

4 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I'm me. I deal with consequences, and no one will change me. Period Ever. End of story lol!!!

Which is completely your right to do so.  Just as it is our right to call you out when you act like a twerp.  

But please don't assign motives and "projections" to those who disagree with you just because some armchair therapist has a narrative for you to follow.  

[Bagnu]

Just now, Jordan Whitt said:

Which is completely your right to do so.  Just as it is our right to call you out when you act like a twerp.  

But please don't assign motives and "projections" to those who disagree with you just because some armchair therapist has a narrative for you to follow.  

I never assigned any motives or projections to anyone. I'm confused why you would say that.

[Jordyn McGregor]

2 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

I never assigned any motives or projections to anyone. I'm confused why you would say that.

Because further up this page, "someone" appears to be trying to get you to.  Just a friendly word of advice.

[Bagnu]

Just now, Jordan Whitt said:

Because further up this page, "someone" appears to be trying to get you to.  Just a friendly word of advice.

So? Why is that an issue? I'm the one who has been assigned motives.....

[Jordyn McGregor]

3 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

So? Why is that an issue? I'm the one who has been assigned motives.....

Yes but in defense of those who assigned said motives to you...you confirmed them correct - that it's all about attention.  We can all agree that you will continue posting outlandish and controversial threads to gain attention and reactions, some will flame you for it, some will charge to your defense....and this will play out all over again ad nauseum till the end of time.  

I feel I have said my piece and gonna go forage up some dinner.  

Jordan has left this thread.

[AdminGirl]

Opinion threads will always have at least two sides. Responses from both sides should be expected. To then criticize or judge people for being on one side and not the other is pointless.

Intention aside, the OP starts contentious threads at times. This one for example. OP stated that this thread was created out of concern for her friends, which imo is counterproductive. Unfortunately it has an effect of creating division - those on the friends list, and those who are not. To add to that, it contains an indirect slight against those non-friends - the implication that they are the horrible types who would punish those on the friends list.

The Lack of Civility thread basically served to criticize the very people here on the forum. Not that it's wrong to criticize but that thread was clearly going to provoke argument. It's like poking the bear. If I start a thread to provoke people, I wouldn't cry foul when they're provoked. Nor would I play victim. I'd own it.

The impression of the OP being disingenuous comes from things like questions that already contain a self-provided answer, like the below. In Pearl's defense, some people process information differently, or verbalize their thought process. But most people would be confused as to why the question was asked when the answer already seems so apparent.

On 8/27/2020 at 9:56 AM, Bagnu said:

LL allows us to post any pics of anyone anywhere, but what of the other SL person in the pic doesn't like it because they are in a compromising position with me?  This could cause RL issues for some.

People have a right to post whatever they want within the TOS. People have a right to express themselves however they wish. This applies to both sides - personalities that are annoying, and also personalities that are blunt and not so polite towards the annoying.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (some quote). So Pearl, be whoever you want to be. But if you ever want to experience the forum some other way, one that's not so flamey, perhaps try a different approach to how you post, one that's more considerate towards everyone in the audience.

Edited September 1, 2020 by AdminGirl
shortened

[Bagnu]

Just now, AdminGirl said:

Opinion threads will always have at least two sides - agree, disagree, or something else. So when an opinion thread is started, those responses should be expected. To then criticize or judge people for being on one side and not the other is.. well.. pointless. None of the responses in this thread has been unexpected, at least not to me.

No one can know someone else's true intentions except for that person themself. I can only comment on how things appear to be, which are as follows.

The reason why Pearl's threads tend to be so contentious is because they are presented that way (some, not all). I know that it is not the intention - Pearl does not intentionally hurt anyone to my knowledge - but that doesn't change that fact. Take for example this thread. Pearl has stated that this thread was an expression of her concern for her friends. Unfortunately it does have an effect of creating division - those who on the friends list, and those who are not. And to add to that, it does contain an indirect slight against those non-friends - the implication that they are the horrible types who would punish those on the friends list.

Another example would be the Lack of Civility thread. If that was not intended to provoke argument, it should have at least been foreseen. It is an obvious outcome of a thread like that, which basically served to criticize the very people here on the forum. Not wrong btw. We all deserve criticism. But just be prepared for the expected outcome. It's like poking the bear. If I start a very provoking topic, I wouldn't criticize people for being provoked.

The perception of ingenuity also comes from several threads. For example, questions that already contain a self-provided answer, like the below. In Pearl's defense, some people process information differently, and perhaps she did not have the answer in her mind right away and wanted to verbalize her thought process. But I am making a comment on things as they appear. At first glance, most people would be quite confused as to why the question was asked when the answer already seems so apparent.

 

People have a right to post whatever they want as long as it conforms to the TOS. People have a right to express themselves however they wish, even if their personalities are annoying, and also even if their personalities are blunt and not so polite about annoying people.

I think I am stealing this from the quotes thread: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So Pearl, be whoever you want to be. Be yourself, or your rp self. I'll be supportive of that. But if you ever want to experience the forum some other way.. one that's not so flamey, perhaps try a different approach to how you post. But if you're ok with how people respond, then more power to you. That can also build resilience.

I can't approach the forum in any other way. I'm me lol!!! I'll just have to live with it.I do ask technical questions as well though.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Bagnu]

So true though, my friends become obvious, even if they are my worst critics.It can take a bit sometimes to discover them though lol!!!

Edited August 31, 2020 by Bagnu

[Pomeline Pancake]

3 hours ago, So Whimsy said:

And it's never once occured to you to maybe...you know..try to change it? You control what your fingers do when typing up a new thread/reply, sometimes it's better to simply remove your hands from the keyboard instead.

That requires empathy and genuine remorse for hurting others.

Which is absent.

"Actually, no. I am who I am. There is the ignore....."

"I'm me. I deal with consequences, and no one will change me. Period Ever. End of story lol!!!"

 

She stirs up drama for personal enjoyment.

"I help people live out their sexual fantasies here, (and make them feel human if they are RL disabled). In RL what I am would be considered immoral. In SL I feel that I'm morally doing the right thing!!!"

"None of my clients have ever admitted to having any sort of disability. I'm going on discussions I have had inworld, and what I have read on the internet."

 

Feigning innocence, pretending to be ignorant, and blaming casual cruelty on language differences will only last for so long.

The pattern shows that this person thrives off fighting with others. With time her true character will surface, and there won't be any excuses left to use.

It's best not to feed trolls. Basic internet 101. This is my first and last post on the matter.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Pomeline Pancake
finishing a thought