Talligurl Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: We must define "trouble". "trouble" would be defined by the one having it. It really in no one else's business 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 minute ago, Talligurl said: 9 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: We must define "trouble". "trouble" would be defined by the one having it. It really in no one else's business You said "If SL makes you happier in RL then that is wonderful, but if it causes you trouble in RL you need to separate". I don't agree that "trouble" would be a reason to separate SL from RL, as some degree of "trouble" is necessary for any type of growth process like understanding life to a greater degree. If by "trouble" you mean feelings so intense they are detrimental to RL in a major way then it's best to step back from SL awhile. Ideally, the separation would not entail compartmentalization or dissociation however, it would entail taking space away from SL so as to function optimally in RL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amina Sopwith Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: And yet, here you are . . . posting on her thread? At her worst, she's pretty harmless. At her best, she's pretty genuine and enthusiastic. I kind of like seeing someone as excited by all this new stuff as she often is. But, YMMV, as they say. I guess this is what rubs me up the wrong way a bit... I really don't feel there's much that's genuine about it. Rightly or wrongly, it feels very contrived to me, as if the forum is just a blank screen for this intended character that I feel misses its mark anyway. I don't really feel that there's any interest in a two-way interaction with the forum either. I certainly don't hate Bagnu for it - it's not malicious or hateful behaviour, though it has in the past caused some distress. And I don't believe anyone on here does. (I've noticed that some of the people who had the strongest words have interacted very positively in other conversations.) But I admit I find it a bit grating. You're right that we probably should just all ignore it but it's hard not to respond to something that comes over a bit "let's start a conversation all about how you guys are totally the kind of tossers who will victimise people for being friends with me". 10 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Talligurl Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 12 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I don't agree Fine disagree, you took an opinion I expressed specifically for Pearl, and then tired to make it a statement about everyone in general. I have no desire to be dragged into this argument. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 minute ago, Talligurl said: 17 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I don't agree Fine disagree, you took an opinion I expressed specifically for Pearl, and then tired to make it a statement about everyone in general. I have no desire to be dragged into this argument. I don't agree with your advice to Pearl, and stated why, as the kind of detachment you advocate can be harmful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) Seeker read one page of this, rolled her eyes and agreed with Lil about attention seeking drama wh... queens. I'm sure pages 2-4 are scintillating. Seekers is guessing why this post, and that it has something to do with an IM Pearl sent to her, and to which SR replied to negatively. So if that is the case, let SR respond to the OP: Seeker doesn't like you. You annoy the crap out of her. She doesn't hate you either, as that would imply you are somehow important to her. SR can't stand your threads but read/post in them because she's perverse that way. SR requested that YOU not IM her. However, being somewhat of an adult and not a grade-schooler as the OP would suggest "oh, my friends will be hurt if so-and-so doesn't like me... pssst, pass the note!" Seeker can assure you and everyone else that just because one person is repugnant to her, that doesn't leech into her opinion of others, unless THEIR behavior deems it so. She knows several people who tolerate you, and while SR finds it a tad weird, it doesn't affect how she deals with THEM. She's pretty sure most of the people here are the same way. So, yes, this was another of Pearl's needless drama posts to get attentions and likes. Therapy would be a better option. And fwiw, how the heck is Seeker, or anyone else, supposed to know who your friends are unless you post some kind of screenshot list or they declare their undying love for you here? And she suggests they don't, because you never know when there will be an oopsie on the moral/ethics and you find yourself photographed and posted about without your knowledge because... Pearl has to ask in public, and get many answers, before deciding that might be an icky thing to do. So you know it is going to happen again. Edited August 30, 2020 by Seicher Rae forgot about 3rd person after 1st paragraph tsk tsk 9 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 18 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said: I guess this is what rubs me up the wrong way a bit... I really don't feel there's much that's genuine about it. Rightly or wrongly, it feels very contrived to me, as if the forum is just a blank screen for this intended character that I feel misses its mark anyway. I don't really feel that there's any interest in a two-way interaction with the forum either. I certainly don't hate Bagnu for it - it's not malicious or hateful behaviour, though it has in the past caused some distress. And I don't believe anyone on here does. (I've noticed that some of the people who had the strongest words have interacted very positively in other conversations.) But I admit I find it a bit grating. You're right that we probably should just all ignore it but it's hard not to respond to something that comes over a bit "let's start a conversation all about how you guys are totally the kind of tossers who will victimise people for being friends with me". I think that there are certainly elements of what you describe here in Pearl's post. She comes across, sometimes, as self-absorbed. She also occasionally posts without thinking through what she's said, or paying close enough attention to her wording. She gets lots of attention, but she hasn't yet learned how to have a presence here without also sort of rhetorically jumping up and down, waving her hands in the air and shouting "Look at me!" I think she'll learn how to manage herself better here. I've been watching her in-world a bit (and Maddy will bear me out on this, I think) as she's had sudden revelations about SL, and its relationship with RL and identity. I've been watching her learn stuff there -- such as the, for her, new insight that the emotional connections we make here can be powerful, for good or ill. In the meantime, I've found her refreshing. It's been actually kind of inspiring to watch her learn. And as she works out how to express herself better, and with a little less apparent narcissism, I think the flashes of interesting insight that I see from her will become clearer to others as well. Or maybe not? But I think so. But I certainly understand why people find her "grating" -- and it's not up to me to prove you wrong. That's her job. Let's see if she can manage it! (As an aside, I hate hate hate talking about someone publicly in the third person this way. But, there ya go: that's one of the corollaries of this kind of OP. She's more or less demanded it of us. And maybe she enjoys it?) 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoiraKathleen Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 I have found this thread bewildering - not just the title (which made me think either of rosary beads or of a real world problem with pearl creation). but the initial post as well. My thoughts? First, I hadn't really thought of Pearl as being controversial in the big picture of personalities and behavior in the Forums, and I am glad that she has been able to create a community of friends from here. Second, I don't really know which forumite is friends with another forumite unless one of them mentions it, and I wouldn't hold who someone was friends with against them, nor would I judge them just on that. I wasn't aware that anyone was doing that, at least not in a way that is visible to other readers of the Forums. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said: Right. Cuz I am totally associated with the burgeoning sex trade in SL, right? I'm the poster girl for it! Just call me Madame Bedwell from now on, please. And don't forget to tip the venue, and treat my girls well too. Gah! You tease! Seeker mopes and looks longingly at Madame. I could lick your boots for you... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tari Landar Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 7 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I don't agree with your advice to Pearl, and stated why, as the kind of detachment you advocate can be harmful. Good grief, why do you always do this, constantly, trying to flip flop what people say based on your.. oh forget it. I'm sure whatever I was going to say there would've been just mean anyway, lol. Pearl HERSELF said that it is causing her rl distress, aka, trouble. The advice to then separate once the sl gets turned off, is, indeed, valid and smart advice. If something that you can easily walk away from, and even turn off, is causing you stress, why on earth would the best advice to be... go ahead, chase it anyway, make more stress for yourself. That's essentially what you're saying. The harm is already being done, detaching form what's causing it, is therefore, good. I agree with others that there doesn't seem to be anything at all genuine about the OPs posts, intent, whatever the heck. I mean, whatever tickles your pickle and all that jazz. Go forth and post as you wish (really), though you should never be surprised at the responses you get, lol. I'm still miffed about another comment made, which I don't intend to let go (and yes it may make me seem childish, but I've every right to feel offended ad no obligation to anyone other than myself, to eventually let that offended feeling go, assuming I ever do). So I'm far more judgmental than I might otherwise be, admittedly so. The desire to be controversial may get someone attention, and perhaps that negative attention is exactly what they crave, but the moment they no longer want that negative attention, it's going to bite them in the ass. I have friends that are pretty controversial in their own right, sometimes willfully ignorant, sometimes flat out jerks. I'm still their friend, unless or until they cross a line that I can't accept. That's the point I distance myself. No one gives me ***** for being their friend, but I'm also the person that will tell my friend when they're being stupid. "I love/like you, but knock the ***** off already" is not that difficult a concept, lol. I wouldn't dislike anyone here for being friends with OP, or anyone else for that matter. I don't think most people would. I might take issue with someone who has a constant need to white knight, but that dislike is seeded way back before OP ever got here, and there's a lot more meat to that bone, it runs deeeeep. This thread was rather pointless to everyone but the OP who has already now told us she's only here for attention, which is only going to skew my bias ever further away given my already not so nice attitude/opinion (hey at least I'm willing to admit I have a bias). 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 2 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: I could lick your boots for you... Only if I'm permitted to apply Huberd's Original Shoe Grease to your tongue first. I like a good spit polish on my thigh-highs. And it seems wasteful not to put your effort to good use, does it not? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
So Whimsy Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 15 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: And fwiw, how the heck is Seeker, or anyone else, supposed to know who your friends are unless you post some kind of screenshot list or they declare their undying love for you here? Perhaps that was the entire point of the thread. To see who is in her fanclub. Mission success. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 /me assumes an appropriate position, smiles, and sticks out tongue for the shoe grease (tastes like french fries!). Since licking leather tends to dry out one's tongue, I also have a glass of water next to me, as well as hoping you have extras of the Huberd's. As for the thigh highs :::sighs happily::: and has to tape up typing fingers so as not to take this little tangential, off road RP into :::cough::: areas not suitable for a thread written by a sex worker... But I know you have a good imagination... 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 11 minutes ago, Tari Landar said: 32 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: I don't agree with your advice to Pearl, and stated why, as the kind of detachment you advocate can be harmful. Good grief, why do you always do this, constantly, trying to flip flop what people say based on your.. oh forget it. I'm sure whatever I was going to say there would've been just mean anyway, lol. Pearl HERSELF said that it is causing her rl distress, aka, trouble. The advice to then separate once the sl gets turned off, is, indeed, valid and smart advice. If something that you can easily walk away from, and even turn off, is causing you stress, why on earth would the best advice to be... go ahead, chase it anyway, make more stress for yourself. That's essentially what you're saying. The harm is already being done, detaching form what's causing it, is therefore, good. Just no. I'm saying that we can learn from our experiences here, and learning always involves some stress....sometimes a lot...and if we can work through the stress and come out on the other side then SL or the forum can be an amazing tool for learning. Once again, if it's too traumatic then best to stay away from SL or the forum for awhile. It's not good to continue to participate in SL or the forum if one can only cope via being a dissociated zombie for God's sake. Edited August 30, 2020 by Luna Bliss 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scylla Rhiadra Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Just now, Seicher Rae said: /me assumes an appropriate position, smiles, and sticks out tongue for the shoe grease (tastes like french fries!). Since licking leather tends to dry out one's tongue, I also have a glass of water next to me, as well as hoping you have extras of the Huberd's. As for the thigh highs :::sighs happily::: and has to tape up typing fingers so as not to take this little tangential, off road RP into :::cough::: areas not suitable for a thread written by a sex worker... But I know you have a good imagination... Oh my . . . Just running out for a moment to the hardware store. BRB. 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 Back in the day, in the bad old/good old Forum era of the Wild, Wild West type... I had a bit of [British understatement] notoriety that actually DID affect some people on/off the Forum. There was one rabid, bat-poop crazy person who would see anyone who posted positively to me, and she would target them... usually with an alt hunt. She actually did peeve off a couple so much that they left SL, because as one person told me, SL was supposed to be fun and not some place for fending off constant attacks regardless of how stupid. For a few years I would privately (concept, OP, concept...PRIVATE) contact anyone who looked like they were about to be targeted for this, or for people who asked to be my friend. I warned them and let them know I totally understood if they rescinded their offer of friendship. Most did not. I had one person who friended me, and I thought we were good friends inworld, and one day, out of the blue, I was defriended with the explanation that SL was much easier if not associated with me. So... there could be some hypothetical basis for worry. It IS possible. However, none, NONE of that applies to Pearl/Bagnu. Moderation keeps things from happening here like they used to then. NO ONE has come close to the wtf-ery of those days. This OP was just another bizarro-land appeal for sympathy and head pats. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 12 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: However, none, NONE of that applies to Pearl/Bagnu. Moderation keeps things from happening here like they used to then. It's not as bad as the old days from what I've heard, but there is a lot of behind the scenes manipulation going on. Like one forum member contacting another and insisting they remove a 'like' because a certain group had decided they didn't like that person. They became an outcast when they refused. And with me, personally, a forum member contacted my alt and warned my alt not to associate with me because I was some sort of evil monster. So lots of little manipulations and power plays going on. I can't fault Pearl for being aware of group dynamics. Edited August 30, 2020 by Luna Bliss 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagnu Posted August 30, 2020 Author Share Posted August 30, 2020 8 hours ago, Cindy Evanier said: You obviously have an issue with Bagnu judging by your posting history and only joining the forums 14 minutes ago. Take it to IM or inworld and leave it out the forums I have no idea who they even are. The argument wouldn't last long inworld. I would activate the infamous "block" button!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said: some degree of "trouble" is necessary for any type of growth process like understanding life to a greater degree 25 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: learning always involves some stress....sometimes a lot... ...begins to wonder about how and what you learn. In SL and RL, I find learning to be generally trouble-free, immensely enjoyable, and often exciting. It's my favorite thing to do. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lindal Kidd Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 3 hours ago, Lindal Kidd said: Lindal's enjoying this Third Person Thread. She thinks it has real potential to chug on for a long, long time. But not, she fears, if people don't stick to the third person. Lindal says, get with the program here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said: 1 hour ago, Luna Bliss said: some degree of "trouble" is necessary for any type of growth process like understanding life to a greater degree 37 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said: learning always involves some stress....sometimes a lot... ...begins to wonder about how and what you learn. In SL and RL, I find learning to be generally trouble-free, immensely enjoyable, and often exciting. It's my favorite thing to do. I generally do too...find learning enjoyable. It does depend on what you're learning and how much of yourself you're willing to invest though. Learning better dynamics with others seems to pose more problems with most people, especially romantic relationships. With some of my creations I've about torn my hair out, as the solution just wouldn't come without immense effort and confusion. Even so, I considered it rewarding and great fun. Edited August 30, 2020 by Luna Bliss Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdminGirl Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 No lie, AdminGirl was so close to pet peeving illeism a few weeks back because somebody kept at it as if they were some kind of sl celebrity... SLebrity?! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luna Bliss Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 minute ago, AdminGirl said: No lie, AdminGirl was so close to pet peeving illeism a few weeks back because somebody kept at it as if they were some kind of sl celebrity... SLebrity?! Luna wonders what illeism is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bagnu Posted August 30, 2020 Author Share Posted August 30, 2020 7 hours ago, Talligurl said: If you think you are bad you should see the b*tches who are my RL sisters. Lol, you really have to tell me more about them sometime so we could have a laugh!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Madelaine McMasters Posted August 30, 2020 Share Posted August 30, 2020 1 minute ago, Luna Bliss said: Luna wonders what illeism is. Because I enjoy learning, and find Googling to be fun and not the least bit stressful... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Illeism 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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