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The audacity of Scylla


Storm Clarence
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Audacity has several implications. My interpretation:

“a willingness to take bold risks”

Scylla, for years,  has always posted fearlessly.  I respect her for this quality.   I have read so many others who have not.  And how boring is that!  
There are very few posters who post fearlessly: I consider myself one.

Where is the line in posting?  Are you a troll or just being provocative?  Friend or foe?  Who are you? 

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I don't understand how anyone couldn't respect Scylla. Even if they don't agree with her, she's always reasoned, intelligent and considered, and never rude or abusive. I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect her. The only reasons they might have that I can think of are that they don't like her making good rebuttals to their arguments, or they're of that ilk that loses what little mind they've got at the mere mention of feminism. 

Scylla for Prime Minister.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
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3 hours ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I don't understand how anyone couldn't respect Scylla. Even if they don't agree with her, she's always reasoned, intelligent and considered, and never rude or abusive. I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect her. The only reasons they might have that I can think of are that they don't like her making good rebuttals to their arguments, or they're of that ilk that loses what little mind they've got at the mere mention of feminism. 

Scylla for Prime Minister.

Yeah, this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I don't really articulate my opinions in the forums, preferring to just relax and let it wash over me. But that doesn't mean I don't have strong opinions, I do.

🖖

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OMG . . .

Storm, your characterization of me is sweet and enormously flattering. Amina, thank you! And you too Belinda! You're both absolute sweethearts.

But there really shouldn't be a thread here with anyone's name in the title. It misses the point of this place, which is, as @Pamela Galli said recently in some thread or another, about community. That's why I'm here -- not to pontificate or even be "audacious."

While I'm grateful for the nice things some have said here, I'm going to respectfully ask that we not use this thread to say things -- nasty or nice -- about me.

I think Storm's core question, about being "audacious," is an interesting one, and maybe we can just talk about what that means instead?

ETA: Storm, would you be willing to change the title of this thread to focus it on your question instead?

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
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To address the question of "audacity" . . . I think obviously it's terribly important to speak one's mind, and to not be afraid of taking a principled stand, whatever those principles may be, on a subject. But if by "audacity" what we also mean is some sort of heroic pose that focuses attention upon the speaker/poster as someone "courageous" enough to say unpopular things, I think that misses the point.

What a forum like this should be, and what to some degree it is, I think, is a place where one can feel that one can say what is on one's mind, or what one believes, without fear of being trolled or attacked for it. One should instead have the expectation that it will be critiqued, but in a way that addresses the ideas one has put forward, rather than upon the character of the poster.

I think it's always at least a little audacious to say what one thinks in public, especially if you know there will be those who disagree. And I know that some of us find it harder to do so than others: it's important that people like that know that their contributions will be welcomed.

So, that courage should not need to also override an expectation that one is going to be personally attacked for speaking up. And a really worthwhile community, an effective democracy, really, is one where everyone knows that what they have to say will not merely be accepted and considered, but actually welcomed as a contribution to more general discussion. I don't like "conservatism," for instance: I disagree with it not merely in particulars, but on more a fundamental basis. But god help us all if we ever lose that alternate viewpoint. Not even I would want to live in a world entirely dominated by people like . . . well, me.

Mostly, I think we're pretty good at encouraging and welcoming contributions here. But we could probably be better. I am pretty sure that there is at least one relatively frequent poster here who has me on "ignore." That demonstrates to me that, in at least that one instance, I screwed up. And it's sad, not merely because someone finds me sufficiently irritating, trollish, or whatever, to want to shut me out, but also because they can't hear me any more, and I'm no longer in a position where I can engage with their ideas or beliefs.

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Every time i hear the word Audacity,I think of Brian Regan doing the skit about the guy with a stomach ache claiming  to be a pain level 10..Then talking about how he couldn't claim to be a 10 because femur bone breaks have exclusive rights to level 10..

Then saying to himself,what am i worried about it's not like there is a femur ward here or anything..

like some guy is going to come down here limping in a rage from the Femur ward screaming..Who in their right mind had the AUDACITY to claim a level 10!!

 

hehehehe

 

He does it better than I can explain it..hehehehe

 

Edited by Ceka Cianci
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2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

While I'm grateful for the nice things some have said here, I'm going to respectfully ask that we not use this thread to say things -- nasty or nice -- about me.

What a relief! I was feeling such pressure to say something nice. Just not my thing.

2 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think Storm's core question, about being "audacious," is an interesting one, and maybe we can just talk about what that means instead?

Oh now dammit, I'm feeling pressure to say something true. Not my thing at all.

I'll just throw something out instead. Some folks write or speak in unadorned declarative sentences. Some others layer first-person disclaimers on everything: "It seems to me...", "I think...", "IIRC...", etc. I struggle to prune such disclaimers from stuff I write but it is a constant struggle.

The disclaimers are sometimes said to be a sign of "feminine" expression. On the other hand, use of first person is sometimes said to be a sign of egotism. Either way, it's the other form, sans disclaimer, that seems more audacious.

So there.

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13 minutes ago, Amina Sopwith said:

I just want to be able to take the piss out of Gor. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

I joked with Maddy a while ago that I should have a sticky note on my screen reading "Don't be sarcastic." It would be a loss to my experience of the forums if you had one of those, because you're so hilarious when you are.

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1 hour ago, Selene Gregoire said:

Kinda the point, enit?

Sometimes it's the only way to disengage before something drastic happens and we end up regretting our words.

Well, yes! That's one issue and use of it I'm sure.

"Ignore" has another useful function: it allows people to customize their experience of the forum. Particularly, it means that those who feel the need can filter out posters who, perhaps, cause emotional harm, or even just irritation. It makes this a safer, or at least more comfortable experience.

My point is that I don't want anyone to feel that they need to be "safe" from me. Or even if they've just found me irritating, then it means I'm not saying what I am trying to say very effectively. So that, at least in some measure, is on me.

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51 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

What a relief! I was feeling such pressure to say something nice. Just not my thing.

Whew. I'd hate you to feel put out, Qie! You be you! 😉

51 minutes ago, Qie Niangao said:

Oh now dammit, I'm feeling pressure to say something true. Not my thing at all.

I'll just throw something out instead. Some folks write or speak in unadorned declarative sentences. Some others layer first-person disclaimers on everything: "It seems to me...", "I think...", "IIRC...", etc. I struggle to prune such disclaimers from stuff I write but it is a constant struggle.

The disclaimers are sometimes said to be a sign of "feminine" expression. On the other hand, use of first person is sometimes said to be a sign of egotism. Either way, it's the other form, sans disclaimer, that seems more audacious.

Interesting. I use qualifiers a lot (which is partially what you're hinting at, maybe?). I don't do so out of false modesty (I say "false" because I'm not really very modest) or a lack of conviction. The useful thing about qualifiers is that they leave room for someone who disagrees with me to engage with at least the hope that, even if they can't change my mind, I'll listen and consider. Strongly declarative statements are a bit like chest-thumping: they invite defiance and conflict rather than discussion. (Is that a gendered metaphor? Maybe, but clearly this is a behaviour that is not restricted to men.) And I prefer discussion over a clash of wills. And that's true for emotional reasons as much as for rhetorical or intellectual ones. I really don't enjoy fighting.

I think?

Edited by Scylla Rhiadra
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14 hours ago, Storm Clarence said:

Audacity has several implications. My interpretation:

“a willingness to take bold risks”

Scylla, for years,  has always posted fearlessly.  I respect her for this quality.   I have read so many others who have not.  And how boring is that!  
There are very few posters who post fearlessly: I consider myself one.

Where is the line in posting?  Are you a troll or just being provocative?  Friend or foe?  Who are you? 

Yes.

No.

Yes.

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I'm more of a lurker-ish poster.  I'm newer here, and haven't yet really engaged much on the "heavier" threads.  I think I'm still kind of finding my footing.

I can be opinionated and outspoken, I just tend to temper it.  A lot.  Like, to the point of staring at the sky rather than speaking.

TL;DR:  people are scary, so I just post cute shots of my avatar and nod at what everyone else is saying.

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4 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

 

 

But there really shouldn't be a thread here with anyone's name in the title. It misses the point of this place, which is, as @Pamela Galli

While I'm grateful for the nice things some have said here, I'm going to respectfully ask that we not use this thread to say things -- nasty or nice -- about me.

I think Storm's core question, about being "audacious," is an interesting one, and maybe we can just talk about what that means instead?

ETA: Storm, would you be willing to change the title of this thread to focus it on your question instead?

 

Nasty people will write nasty posts, anyway.  That's kind of my point with this OP.  There is a huge difference in posting audaciously and posting for spite.

I know it is always important to speak your mind and it is equally important to know when to not (or so I have learned.)

I do not have the knowledge or tools to change the title, ergo, I can not.  But it is ok as we use names in titles in other SL sub-forum e.g., Make Friends: Missed Connections, etc. 

It is very easy to RIC this thread if you are that unhappy with the words. Most of my OP's get whacked anyway :)

Edited by Storm Clarence
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1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

My point is that I don't want anyone to feel that they need to be "safe" from me. Or even if they've just found me irritating, then it means I'm not saying what I am trying to say very effectively. So that, at least in some measure, is on me.

And this is why I wish I were more like you, but know I never will be.

In the case of the one person who I know has you muted, it's quite clear that the only reason you might irritate them is because you stop them from indulging their nasty little worldview without challenge. (Safety, my big fat mince pie-fed arse.) You make them uncomfortable in that view, as well they should be, but they don't want to be challenged so they just pretend you aren't there. I know that I should, like you, be looking for the constructive way to change their minds, but I know deep down that I can't - perhaps someone can, I live in hope, but I know I can't. So making them uncomfortable in those views, and showing the silent onlookers what's wrong with them is about the best outcome I think I could hope for. The muting is so blatantly their failure, not yours. 

I want to feel the way you do about it, but I simply don't. As before, discomfiting people with that sort of outlook, making a point to anyone who's watching and, hopefully, causing some giggles along the way, is about all I think I can do, and actually all I'm interested in doing. I know your way is better. I wanna be like you-oo-oo.

In the case of Gor, I know I'm not going to change anyone's mind at all. People who like Gor really really like it, people who like being apologists for it really really like being apologists for it, and nothing I say is going to change that. I'm content just to cause an unknown number of people to laugh at it, best weapon I can think of, really. And, of course, I hope to dissuade anyone who might be tempted to check it out, or, worse, read any of those turds. I worry that I might have given the impression that they're so bad they're good. They're not. They're so bad they're just bad, in a hideous, hateful, nasty and just plain interminably bloody boring way. Really kiddies, it's been years and neither my IQ nor my faith in humanity has recovered. Don't be like me.

Edited by Amina Sopwith
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4 hours ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

While I'm grateful for the nice things some have said here, I'm going to respectfully ask that we not use this thread to say things -- nasty or nice -- about me.
 

Scylla is....

Canadian

There, I think I threaded the needle between nasty and nice very well.

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