Cindy Evanier Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 1 hour ago, LittleMe Jewell said: Confused. My husband was on the couch all day yesterday with a 102 fever with a pounding headache and a horrid hacking cough. He went to bed freezing but sweating. Sometime during the night the fever broke and this morning he says he feels fine. Allergies do not come with a fever. Sounds more like flu, but that seldom is a 24-hour thing. I didn't think that food poisoning had all those symptoms, but even if so, we both mostly eat the same stuff. So who knows fingers crossed it was just some 24 hour thing and hope he continues to feel better and you don't come down with anything 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kali Wylder Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 @LittleMe Jewell, I'm glad he's feeling better. From what I've read, the covid 19 is an ornery ickle virus and there are all kinds of anomalies reported regarding the way it affects people. I would continue to assume he had it and believe that he is one of the lucky ones who's immune system successfully fought and won. Who knows? Around here they won't even test you until you've sustained a high fever for 3-4 days. I'm sure there are plenty of folks who don't fit the criteria yet still have encountered the wee focker. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selene Gregoire Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 3 hours ago, LittleMe Jewell said: Confused. My husband was on the couch all day yesterday with a 102 fever with a pounding headache and a horrid hacking cough. He went to bed freezing but sweating. Sometime during the night the fever broke and this morning he says he feels fine. Allergies do not come with a fever. Sounds more like flu, but that seldom is a 24-hour thing. I didn't think that food poisoning had all those symptoms, but even if so, we both mostly eat the same stuff. So who knows There are 24 hour bugs that are flu like and sometimes last 48-36 hours. Usually bacterial in nature rather than viral. On the other hand, there are those who recover from Covid-19 rather quickly and if you are taking normal precautions you wouldn't necessarily become ill. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth Macbain Posted April 17, 2020 Author Share Posted April 17, 2020 I'm happy because Fridays are the day I get to go into the office for a couple hours to print stuff. I'm sad because it's raining and cold even though I got to go outside. I'm happy because I've finished printing and folding the letters I needed to do. I'm sad because that means I have to leave. I'm empathetic because today was the first day I had to wear a mask to enter the building and even though I was able to take it off once I got to my office, that two minutes was horrific, and stifling, and claustrophobic, and anyone who is wearing one on the front lines for 8-12 hours a day deserves an extra stimulus check for about a billion dollars. I'm only slightly exaggerating. I'm full of dread because now I have to put the mask back on to leave the building and I've got a newly discovered phobia of wearing anything that covers my face. I'm hungry because I've not eaten today and I really freaking want some freaking Taco Bell. I'm sad because Taco Bell is in the opposite direction of my home. I'm feeling lucky because my litany of complaints is minor and goofy when a lot of people's complaints are deadly serious. I'm sad because people really do have deadly serious complaints and this all sucks and there isn't much I can do to help anyone. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleMe Jewell Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 23 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said: I'm happy because Fridays are the day I get to go into the office for a couple hours to print stuff. It was roughly lunch time today before I even realized it was Friday. Been a weird week. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kali Wylder Posted April 17, 2020 Share Posted April 17, 2020 22 hours ago, AylinVali said: I'm feeling lonely. tired and just so bloody fed up of people off and online trying to tell me how my Gender is Anti-science/just for attention/insert other falsehood here. I am tired of being misgendered, deadnamed and otherwise verbally torn down all because I dare try to live as myself in peace. Between the lockdown, the verbal vomits of transphobia and a whole heap of woes. I just can't find the energy to do anything but sleep, eat and watch youtube videos while questioning when did my life become a pile of misery and getting angry at everything. I just want to find a place to belong without having to constantly justify my existence, is that really so wrong? Not wrong at all, I hate all the trauma our society inflicts on those that are born ill at ease with their assigned gender role. Why can't we celebrate each individual for their uniqueness? Why do we have to conform to gender roles anyway? Short answer - we don't. You belong here! 5 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 On 4/16/2020 at 9:14 PM, AylinVali said: I'm feeling lonely. tired and just so bloody fed up of people off and online trying to tell me how my Gender is Anti-science/just for attention/insert other falsehood here. I am tired of being misgendered, deadnamed and otherwise verbally torn down all because I dare try to live as myself in peace. Between the lockdown, the verbal vomits of transphobia and a whole heap of woes. I just can't find the energy to do anything but sleep, eat and watch youtube videos while questioning when did my life become a pile of misery and getting angry at everything. I just want to find a place to belong without having to constantly justify my existence, is that really so wrong? I don't know how to respond to this, because at first it made me angry, then sad, then wanting to hug you. Because you said "transphobia" I'm assuming transgender, and so, no... I haven't walked in those particular shoes but yes, I do know what it feels like to just want a place to belong to without having to justify my existence, and in my case, having to prove to others that mystical, magical thing of being "good enough." Yuck. You'd think we'd be further along societally that gender issues would be moot, but obviously we're not. On the other hand, I just finished watching Mad Men, and the issues of that time were sooooo much worse and it wasn't that long ago. I dunno. You'd think in a virtual world you'd have less hassles, but again, I don't know. I *do* know there are a lot of people who could not care less about such things and will like you for you. One unasked for bit of advice is to evaluate where you are hanging out that you are coming into contact with the idiot trolls. Do you have to be there? (rhetorical) Can you minimize your exposure to it, especially online and inworld where we can pick and choose and mute easier than we can in RL? I don't know if it makes any difference to know that a whole lot of us are also wondering what happened to our energy, our sleep is messed up, being couch potatoes and getting b1tchy. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 I'm really limiting my social media (including this forum) but I want to keep track of you guys in this thread. I'll also post to a couple of threads where I'm pretty sure there isn't going to be any fighting. I'd post in the "How does your avatar look today?" thread but I have not the energy to go inworld, let alone fuss with an outfit and take a photo. Also, just clicking on the front of FS to start and say "home" is just soooo hard. I'm trying, really trying to do... something. Anything. While my new apartment looks different from when the bff left to go back to Canada, it doesn't look that different. It is pretty common knowledge that your environment affects your mood, and so me living in a place that still looks like a tornado hit it isn't helping my happiness level. But it is just sooooo hard. Well, physically it is difficult. My poor joints (everything but my right arm)... geez, it takes about three days to do things that used to take 15 minutes. I'm soooo paranoid about the half flight of stairs I need to take to get anywhere (and to do laundry, get the mail, take out the trash). I have flashbacks and PTSD every time I get to them. And so I put off and off anything that means being on the stairs. Sigh. It was almost a year ago that I took that gawd awful fall that broke bones in my forearm and wrist and necessitated getting a metal elbow. It hasn't healed right and actually hurts worse than it did 3 months after the fall. There's nothing to be done. The xrays show everything is ok. It is soft tissue and in the words of several doctors: That's just the way it is with these kinds of bad breaks. And the fall that created the broken arm happened well after my injuries that got me on disability (and the fall actually happened because of the disability). So, did I mention depressed and it is slow and painful to do things like just wash dishes? I am currently reading Don Quixote because I never had to in school. I'm quite enjoying it, which I probably wouldn't have if I did have to read it in school. I'm feeling guilty because I haven't blogged since October, and wasn't blogging much even then and I'm losing contact with that virtual family. It is easier to type forum comments, because that's usually on a topic and I don't have to make it about me (except for this thread, oddly enough). Blogging regularly means having something to say regularly and while I blog about mental health issues it isn't all I blog about and ugh. I don't wanna. But I do. Guilt guilt guilt. I haven't decided if it is worse to be in quarantine with your family 24/7 or all alone 24/7. At least even though a family might be driving each other bats, I would think there would be times you could get some alone time? Like sit in the car, on the porch, in a closet... something. Being alone is just... alone. I got so excited to see the pizza delivery guy the other day (well, that and the pizza). As much as I like my alone time, as much as people annoy me, as much of an introvert as I am... there's just a point where it gets beyond ridiculous. I passed that a while ago. I don't even have a cat to cuddle, roll my eyes at, and dress up out of hysteria. I have the old "I want to buy the world a Coke..." song in my head, thanks to Mad Men. I'll share the love. YW. This also made me want to meditate, but I haven't been able to in years, and I soooooo need to. Need to. (And yeah, I know lots of techniques, and even have been on week-long silent retreats and all that. Sometimes, with mental illness, you just can't.) It also made me so want to be back in Northern CA, the Big Sur area. Sigh. 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth Macbain Posted April 18, 2020 Author Share Posted April 18, 2020 @Seicher Rae - I'm glad you're back, even if it's just on this thread. And one thing that I'll remind you about depression, and it's only a reminder because you already know this, but depression is a big fat liar. It tells you that you should be doing this thing, or that thing, or the other thing, and then it makes you feel even worse because you literally cannot do those things because of that very same thing that is lying to you. We are in some weird f**cking times right now dealing with sh*t we never once in the darkest corners of our imagination ever considered because seriously? a pandemic? in 2020? Who the hell knows how to deal with that bullsh*t?! Mentally, I mean. The sanest, strongest people I know are wigging the f**k out over this thing and climbing the walls. Those of us who've already gone crazy and have the tee shirt also don't know how to handle it, but at least we've already imagined every terrible scenario in the world happening (except a pandemic because seriously? in 2020?) so we may not know how to deal with this particular sh*t show but we've dealt with storms of other sh*t shows before so we're just sort of like, yeah? Welcome to our world, right? Anyway... get out of bed, don't get out of bed, shower, don't shower, eat an entire cheesecake, and wash it down with a bottle of cheap ass wine. You've made it this long in this world. You know the darkness is going to ease eventually because it always does and it's just a stupid waiting game we all have to play. And stop lying to your therapist. When I had my tele-medicine doctor's appointment on Monday, I swear the first thing she said to me was, "Hey. Okay, tell me how bad the anxiety is," because all her patients are freaking out, just like all your therapist's patients are, and we both know we that even if it doesn't solve anything, it still feels better after talking to someone about it. It sucks during the talk, but after? That doesn't feel so bad, does it? Oh, and I love you. ❤️ 5 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 18 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said: but depression is a big fat liar One of my favorite bloggers and authors is Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess. That's one of her favorite phrases: Depression lies. Yes, yes it does. It also does it very convincingly. 20 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said: and wash it down with a bottle of cheap ass wine OK. I had to read this a few times to get the right inflection, because the first read throughs had that as cheap, ass wine and that didn't mean donkey wine. (A quick Google showed that there are several wines and/or wineries that encorporate ass into the brand.) So... cheap, ass wine wasn't giving me a very pleasant vision. OOOhhhhh, see I'd say it as cheap-assed wine. You mean like my box o'wine? Sigh. Why won't they deliver wine with the groceries?! 24 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said: And stop lying to your therapist. When I had my tele-medicine doctor's appointment on Monday, I swear the first thing she said to me was, "Hey. Okay, tell me how bad the anxiety is," because all her patients are freaking out, just like all your therapist's patients are, and we both know we that even if it doesn't solve anything, it still feels better after talking to someone about it. It sucks during the talk, but after? That doesn't feel so bad, does it? grumble Maybe. I do feel guilty about it, but honestly? I'm not sure talking with this therapist is all that helpful. I was excited when I found out she knows at least something about SL. But... past that? The talks are pretty pointless. 26 minutes ago, Beth Macbain said: Oh, and I love you. ❤️ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aeri Xaris Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Sounds like I need to come over with lots of wine & chocolates! That always solves everything! Sorry your not in good health my thoughts are with you on. I understand all too well what not being able to do things due to health issue & psychical limitations. I'm only a virtual world away darlin! If you ever need some cool fun to take the stress away I can battle you in a friendly game of bumper cars B I G B I G B I G B I G B I G B I G B I G HUGS!! To you my friend. ❤️ stay safe<3 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Solo Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 I love being alone. We modified this house over 25 years ago to ensure we all had our own space. Then I moved away for 20 years. Came home after 10 years of my mother pestering me and *cough "other things" didn't quite work out as planned. Music is my saviour. If it be actually playing stringed instruments, (cause I can), or programming a synth, (far less effort & dexterity required), that's my remedy for anxiety and being a little different from everyone else I know. 🤪 It's so funny phoning up mum or siss when they're only 100 feet away lol. So I'm not really alone. I generally catch up with 2 old friends of a friday night but that's about it for mixing with non family peeps out of day job hours. If anyone is looking for ways to slap down depression, loneliness or anxiety, step writing music on a synth and assigning diff channels for many voices is so relaxing and some of the compositions are absolutely beautiful. Top quality headphones are all that's required once you own the synth or sequencer and some of the Instrument sound sample librarys available are just heavenly. Please bury me with my musical instruments world and I shall smile down upon you forever. ❤️ 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted McGregor Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 @Maryanne Solo I highly recommend : Look Mum, No Computer ! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Solo Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 (edited) WOW! 😍 Most of my stuff is tame compared to that. Mainly slow instrumentals & waltzes lol. 6/8, 12/8 etc etc. Bookmarked and will deffo subscribe after a good look through. Thank you TDD123! 😃 Edited April 18, 2020 by Maryanne Solo 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted McGregor Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Or ( last one promised ) check out this guy, Andrew Huang. YMW 🤗 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 So I logged into SL for a few minutes, the first time in days. Basically I just wanted to clear my messages. I had a short IM from someone who was becoming close to me before the quarantine went into being and messed everything up. He asked how I am and he hopes it is fantastically. sigh I hate slapping on the "normal" face to lie and chirp, "I'm fine! Great!", and I also don't want to mope and be honest. sigh I have told him I have depression n stuff. On the other hand, when I'm inworld and interacting with people, you'd generally be hard-pressed to notice I'm anything but pleasant. I chatter and I joke. I rarely mope and when I do I tend to stick to being alone or use an alt to achieve solitude. I haven't replied to him yet. I honestly don't know what to say or how to say it. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy Evanier Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: I haven't replied to him yet. I honestly don't know what to say or how to say it. You don't have to say anything or overthink it too much. Things happen best organically I think. I hope for good things for you x 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted McGregor Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 (edited) @Seicher Rae Why not at least try to relativate ( I know it' s difficult, mind you ) both feelings and expression ? " Regarding circumstances I'm doing quite fine, thanks." - like. Edited April 18, 2020 by TDD123 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 2 minutes ago, TDD123 said: @Seicher Rae Why not at least try to relativate ( I know it' s difficult, mind you ) both feelings and expression ? " Regarding circumstances I'm doing quite fine, thanks." - like. Because regarding circumstances I am NOT doing quite fine. And regardless of the circumstances I'm not either. Hence the problem. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 4 minutes ago, Cindy Evanier said: You don't have to say anything or overthink it too much. Things happen best organically I think. I hope for good things for you x I do need to reply, but your suggestion to not say anything made me realize I can reply and just ignore the "how are you?" bit. Side step the whole issue. That can be done. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ted McGregor Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 (edited) 6 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: Because regarding circumstances I am NOT doing quite fine. And regardless of the circumstances I'm not either. Hence the problem. Leaves the question : should he know this ? That' s your choice. Edited April 18, 2020 by TDD123 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 (edited) . Edited April 18, 2020 by Seicher Rae Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seicher Rae Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 Back to the shadows. The knee-jerk b1tchy part of the depression is starting to surface. Back away, SR, back away... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda Huntress Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 As the old saying goes, honestly is the best policy. 12 minutes ago, Seicher Rae said: I hate slapping on the "normal" face to lie and chirp, "I'm fine! Great!", and I also don't want to mope and be honest. I would tell him that. Thank him for checking on you. Tell him you want to say everything is fine but ... it's not fine. Tell him how you feel. That's just my opinion, tho 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda Huntress Posted April 18, 2020 Share Posted April 18, 2020 1 minute ago, Seicher Rae said: The knee-jerk b1tchy part of the depression is starting to surface. For what it's worth, you can say bitchy. Just something I came across one time. I used to wrap that feeling around myself like a blanket and hide in it's warm miasma. We'll be here when you reach the other side. 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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