Why is there a lot of disagreeable people on this board? (And by extension, other boards related to SL?)

[Scylla Rhiadra]

2 hours ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I already responded to some of those people and implied it was them I was talking about. See my post to @Zalificent Corvinus and @Alwin Alcott.

Gopi, I almost invariably enjoy your threads and posts. I think you often ask interesting questions, and your own tone is usually measured and even good humoured.

I'm feeling you've crossed a line on this one, however. It does feel an awful lot like you're using this thread to call out particular forum posters. That's not merely a recipe for drama (and witness what has ensued), but also really not very fair to them.

I'm not going to say anything more here, but I know I'd feel better if you walked this back a bit. This forum has "personalities," of course, and interpersonal dynamics, but I don't feel, personally, that those should be our actual subject.

[Gopi Passiflora]

Just now, Scylla Rhiadra said:

Gopi, I almost invariably enjoy your threads and posts. I think you often ask interesting questions, and your own tone is usually measured and even good humoured.

I'm feeling you've crossed a line on this one, however. It does feel an awful lot like you're using this thread to call out particular forum posters. That's not merely a recipe for drama (and witness what has ensued), but also really not very fair to them.

I'm not going to say anything more here, but I know I'd feel better if you walked this back a bit. This forum has "personalities," of course, and interpersonal dynamics, but I don't feel, personally, that those should be our actual subject.

I know Scylla, I'm sorry. Like I said, I let my anger get the best of me.

I already submitted the report for the thread's closure or removal.

[Kathlen Onyx]

14 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Think he meant you since you been giving your opinion at 3 times the rate of anyone else in this and almost every other thread.

This is accurate. While I have come to appreciate your posts more now as the humor you intend @Love Zhaoying reading the forum in the last few months has been like being hit with a blizzard and tornado all at once. You rapid fire off responses and comments so fast no one really can get a discussion going in-between your "jokes".  It does sometimes get tiresome.

[Istelathis]

/me pulls clip appropriate to thread on screen

(I accidently posted this on another thread, how embarrassing! 🫢)

Edited May 1 by Istelathis

[Alwin Alcott]

5 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I already submitted the report for the thread's closure or removal.

as subject i'd like the thread to stay where it is.

Locked OK, but let it be public to see how toxic behaviour is also a fruit at so called non disagreeable people.

[Gopi Passiflora]

1 minute ago, Alwin Alcott said:

as subject i'd like the thread to stay where it is.

Locked OK, but let it be public to see how toxic behaviour is also a fruit at so called non disagreeable people.

Fine, I'm okay with that. I'll admit to my mistake.

Edited May 1 by Gopi Passiflora
small typo

[Love Zhaoying]

11 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I already submitted the report for the thread's closure or removal.

They are not likely to remove threads. Sorry, I did not see you mention that earlier.

[Love Zhaoying]

10 minutes ago, Kathlen Onyx said:

This is accurate. While I have come to appreciate your posts more now as the humor you intend @Love Zhaoying reading the forum in the last few months has been like being hit with a blizzard and tornado all at once. You rapid fire off responses and comments so fast no one really can get a discussion going in-between your "jokes".  It does sometimes get tiresome.

Thanks for the feedback.  I could try replying every 5 minutes instead of every 1 minute!

[Sammy Huntsman]

15 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I know Scylla, I'm sorry. Like I said, I let my anger get the best of me.

I already submitted the report for the thread's closure or removal.

Oh I totally understand that, I lost it on someone in a post that took it over and basically invalidated and disregarded the personal experiences of addicts. 

[Scylla Rhiadra]

19 minutes ago, Gopi Passiflora said:

I know Scylla, I'm sorry. Like I said, I let my anger get the best of me.

I already submitted the report for the thread's closure or removal.

And this is just one of the reasons I like and respect you, Gopi.

[Istelathis]

I sometimes wonder if socializing is transactional, and arguments could result in a feeling that a debt is owed, or perhaps there was too much interest incurred and a person feels cheated. In such a scenario there are payments involved, debts to be collected, investments to be made.  It wouldn't surprise me, considering we live in such a society where everything has some sort of value assigned to it.  It might just be a fundamental aspect of humanity, and our own methods of trade were built out of that, an extension of the way we socialize.

As such, arguments could be seen as a form of the transaction of emotional currency when one feels cheated.  I mean, this is absolutely ridiculous, but entertaining to think about.  It all comes down to the emotional currency I tells ya Gopi (and lack of reggae)

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Istelathis said:

I sometimes wonder if socializing is transactional, and arguments could result in a feeling that a debt is owed, or perhaps there was too much interest incurred and a person feels cheated. In such a scenario there are payments involved, debts to be collected, investments to be made.  It wouldn't surprise me, considering we live in such a society where everything has some sort of value assigned to it.  It might just be a fundamental aspect of humanity, and our own methods of trade were built out of that, an extension of the way we socialize.

As such, arguments could be seen as a form of the transaction of emotional currency when one feels cheated.  I mean, this is absolutely ridiculous, but entertaining to think about.  It all comes down to the emotional currency I tells ya Gopi (and lack of reggae)

One issue I've read about which seems related, is that some see relationships as not only "transactional", but as a "zero sum game" where there's always a "winner" and "loser". Along with this comes the idea that "if you're not with me, you're against me".

From this, I see a lot of "disagreeable" interactions and the apparent need to note your disagreement so people KNOW you disagree, and that you've possibly been wronged, harmed, etc.

[Cinnamon Mistwood]

1 hour ago, Arielle Popstar said:

What is "normal" is that we move on to another thread, not have it closed down. That's a new thing. 

This is another good example of adult behavior. 

 

[Sammy Huntsman]

I don't see anything wrong with that, there are certain people that my relationships with them are only transactional.  And I don't think that is a bad thing. I mean I also have relationships that are platonic and romantic and sexual. I feel that is very normal in us humans. Nothing to be frowned upon. 

[Sabrina Nebula]

I really have to say that here, on this forum, the members are really easy to handle. 

When I was a Newbie I went to the German SL Forum and, oh my God, I hated it. People did laugh about me, lots of Drama. I came back many years later and tried to get to know some of them but, again, they acted like a bunch of mean kids.

Years later I came here. Of course mean people are on here as well but I learned how to avoid them. And if I get in contact with such a wasp-nest the block button is my best friend 😉

[Kathlen Onyx]

7 minutes ago, Sammy Huntsman said:

I don't see anything wrong with that, there are certain people that my relationships with them are only transactional.  And I don't think that is a bad thing. I mean I also have relationships that are platonic and romantic and sexual. I feel that is very normal in us humans. Nothing to be frowned upon. 

The thing is that Second Life is set up to have transactional relationships by simply having an IM system that allows you to send an IM to someone that is offline for them to read later.  I actually have a few "transactional" friends that I've never even see in-world, in-person.

[Luna Bliss]

43 minutes ago, Istelathis said:

I sometimes wonder if socializing is transactional, and arguments could result in a feeling that a debt is owed, or perhaps there was too much interest incurred and a person feels cheated. In such a scenario there are payments involved, debts to be collected, investments to be made.  It wouldn't surprise me, considering we live in such a society where everything has some sort of value assigned to it.  It might just be a fundamental aspect of humanity, and our own methods of trade were built out of that, an extension of the way we socialize.

As such, arguments could be seen as a form of the transaction of emotional currency when one feels cheated.  I mean, this is absolutely ridiculous, but entertaining to think about.  It all comes down to the emotional currency I tells ya Gopi (and lack of reggae)

Interesting take -- yes I think often we do have expectations of others (an awareness of a transaction, as you say).
Humans have a need to be understood and accepted by others -- the "currency".
The trick, or what is likely to increase happiness in one's life, might be to seek the understanding one needs in optimal places.
I don't think a forum in general is a good place to seek it, as seldom do we see the backstory of an individual, one that is often required so that we develop the empathy which leads to greater acceptance of them.

Edited May 1 by Luna Bliss

[Paul Hexem]

17 hours ago, Rolig Loon said:

Even the most annoying people say something witty and insightful every once in a while.

 

5 hours ago, Love Zhaoying said:

I know, right? I thought they called that "trolling"!

 

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

This forum has "personalities," of course, and interpersonal dynamics, but I don't feel, personally, that those should be our actual subject.

[Luna Bliss]

32 minutes ago, Love Zhaoying said:

One issue I've read about which seems related, is that some see relationships as not only "transactional", but as a "zero sum game" where there's always a "winner" and "loser". Along with this comes the idea that "if you're not with me, you're against me".

So true, and there are some who, in nearly every interaction with certain people they dislike or feel threatened by, make the interaction about "winning' via putting the other down as best they can.

[Sid Nagy]

/me tiptoes is after a long period of hesitation.

What a toxic atmosphere, mostly spead by those who say they hate it when this happens.

/me tiptoes out of this thread again.

 

Edited May 1 by Sid Nagy

[Love Zhaoying]

1 minute ago, Sid Nagy said:

/me tiptoes is after a long period of hesitation.

What a toxic atmosphere, mostly spead by those who say they hate it when this happens.

/me tiptoes out of this thread again.

 

Can't be me, I love a good drama! I just dislike being attacked by disagreeable people all the time.

[Luna Bliss]

7 minutes ago, Sid Nagy said:

/me tiptoes is after a long period of hesitation.

What a toxic atmosphere, mostly spead by those who say they hate it when this happens.

/me tiptoes out of this thread again.

 

It seems to have died down and feels a little safer now...fingers crossed*

[Arielle Popstar]

5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

It seems to have died down and feels a little safer now...fingers crossed*

Just a good test of who feels most uncomfortable with a silence and needs to break it by saying something inane. It is a great test in R/L.

[Luna Bliss]

5 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

13 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

It seems to have died down and feels a little safer now...fingers crossed*

Just a good test of who feels most uncomfortable with a silence and needs to break it by saying something inane. It is a great test in R/L.

Scrolling up I saw the fighting and attacks against each other end after Gopi's apology, and then some though-provoking comments by Istel, Cinnamon, Sammy, Sid, Love, myself, Sabrina, and Kathlen...so not sure what you're referring to.

[Arielle Popstar]

4 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

Scrolling up I saw the fighting and attacks against each other end after Gopi's apology, and then some though-provoking comments by Istel, Cinnamon, Sammy, Sid, Love, myself, Sabrina, and Kathlen...so not sure what you're referring to.

Perhaps you missed the undercurrent. No biggie.