Pearl Worried

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

11 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

She's imagining she's helping one.  Actually, there's a good change some of her clients are disabled.  Like I said, I believe she wants to feel she's helping those who are down and out somehow, hurting.  When I do Reiki I'd rather help a client who needs help, as I'd feel I was doing the most good then.

Again, look at your wording.. "She's helping those that are down and out, somehow hurting."  Who the hell do you think you are? Disabled people are down and out? Hurting? And an ESCORT is going to fix their ills? How pompous of an attitude can one have? She is a glorified hooker. Lets not make her into Mother Teresa. 

There are many people in SL who exist in RL in a wheelchair, and describe how wonderful it is to feel alive again -- to be able to walk!

It's really not so strange to imagine that some disabled people are hurting and down and out.  I'm sure some aren't. But some are.

No, she's not a Mother Teresa, but I think she wanted to feel good about what she does, and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Luna Bliss]

7 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

9 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

most who become addicted are trying to mask pain.

No, they are addicted to the actual chemical. The lack of it in their system causes the pain.

Yes, they are addicted to the substance and the withdrawal of it would cause pain.

But the reason they became addicted to it is to mask difficult feelings --  in almost all cases there is something deeper going on that makes them want to escape reality.

[Bagnu]

Lol, I'm no mother Teresa, but I like to help people, 

[AdminGirl]

9 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

There are many people in SL who exist in RL in a wheelchair, and describe how wonderful it is to feel alive again -- to be able to walk!

It's really not so strange to imagine that some disabled people are hurting and down and out.  I'm sure some aren't. But some are.

No, she's not a Mother Teresa, but I think she wanted to feel good about what she does, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Why are you so insistent on debating this? Pearl has already apologized and I believe she meant it. Your incessant defending of her initial comments is actually doing damage to her apology and not helping her at all.

[Luna Bliss]

9 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

And yes, someone replying in this thread has indeed been defending that rather bad statement of Pearl's.

It's because of, as you say, my BAD MO!!!!!!!     BWAH HA HA HA HA

[So Whimsy]

Just now, AdminGirl said:

Why are you so insistent on debating this? Pearl has already apologized and I believe she meant it. Your incessant defending of her initial comments is actually doing damage to her apology and not helping her at all.

That's true. Feels like a lion mother defending her cub when no danger is imminent.

[Madelaine McMasters]

8 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

Addiction/Alcoholism is more of a spiritual illness than a mental one though the mental aspect may be a contributing factor.

As one who believes that spirituality is a mental process, I think you've made a distinction without a difference.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK53356/

[AdminGirl]

1 hour ago, Scylla Rhiadra said:

I think we've established that, on the whole, no one much cares about Pearl's "profession / RP" as sex worker. I see a few people here who have revealed, indirectly, the low esteem in which they hold such people, but that's not a very important issue.

Pearl's biggest mistake here -- and she's made more than a few -- was undoubtedly her comment about the disabled. It was an appalling attitude to display. I haven't seen anyone defending it. I know that I posted asking her to make an uncomplicated, simple, and unequivocal apology for it. She did apologize: whether it was fulsome enough is, I suppose, up to you to decide.

But it was also the kind of thing that we have all done on occasion (at least I'll willingly admit that I have): she inadvertently revealed a toxic attitude towards something through her language. She did not post "I think that the disabled are subhuman": she wasn't arguing from this position, or trying to assert it, but rather revealed that this is a notion that she'd been holding. It was hugely important that she be brought to recognize that this is an unconscious and probably unquestioned belief that she held: that's why it was a good thing that she was raked over the coals for it.

It was a good thing, not so that we can "mark her out" as some sort of unretrievable, irremediable POS, but so that she could learn from it. I think she has, but maybe time will tell.

If we don't believe that people can learn from such episodes, change their attitudes, and become better people, then we are conceding that the world is nothing more than a battleground between immovable and irreconcilable opinions, and we might as well all start stocking up on the heavy ordinance necessary to "correct" the poor ideas of others. IF someone apologizes, and gives proof that they have corrected their awful opinions, then the intelligent and constructive thing to do is to thank them for that, chalk up another victory for clear and sensitive thinking, and move on to the next.

To continue to hammer someone for an opinion which they have conceded was a bad one, and for which they have apologized, on the other hand, is not very constructive: it suggests, in fact, that apologies and changes in one's attitude are pointless, and one might as well just dig in with one's trench mortars and machine guns, and continue the ideological battle to the death.

Robin, I totally understand your bitterness. I understand the anger of the poster who left the forums -- he's actually a friend of mine, and someone whom I admire and value very much. I'm not suggesting that there is a magic wand that you can wave to make the hurt go away: there isn't. I'm emphatically not here to tell you to "get over it": if you can't, that's completely understandable.

But I do just want to say that, if there is to be any hope for humanity, if we want to believe that attitudes can change peacefully and not at the point of an ideological bayonet, then we also have to accept that people can learn, examine their unquestioned assumptions, and change.

Has Pearl done so? I still wish her apology had been less defensive, and much more obviously heartfelt, to be honest. But I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt until she demonstrates that she hasn't learned anything -- because I'd rather believe that change is possible, than that it isn't.

In total agreement. I'd hate to be constantly reminded of mistakes I've made in the past instead of being given the chance to learn.

On the other side, it's also not helpful to keep bringing up the "ganging up" on Pearl because that's obviously baiting responses that are only going to perpetuate the argument. People who were hurt are naturally going to be defensive about a comment like that and defensive about the hurt they felt. Btw this part is not directed at you Scylla.

Edited September 6, 2020 by AdminGirl

[Arielle Popstar]

When I was escorting I did feel a justification for what I was doing in the sense i was helping out people who were handicapped in their ability to find a willing partner to cyber with from a social aspect. Nothing to do with their R/L circumstances. Are some here too quick to take on the idea that her words were about people who were r/l disabled?

[Solar Legion]

1 minute ago, AdminGirl said:

Why are you so insistent on debating this? Pearl has already apologized and I believe she meant it. Your incessant defending of her initial comments is actually doing damage to her apology and not helping her at all.

 

Just now, So Whimsy said:

That's true. Feels like a lion mother defending her cub when no danger is imminent.

Responding to both of you at once here: That one loves to pretend they're helping. Yes, pretend.

Anyone that dares to point this out is mocked in one way or another and that one just carries on pretending to be a good person ... and people keep buying the act.

[Madelaine McMasters]

1 hour ago, Bagnu said:

Lol, I'm no mother Teresa, but I like to help people, 

It's possible that Mother Teresa was no Mother Teresa.

Edited September 6, 2020 by Madelaine McMasters
Spelled Teresa right one out of two times!

[Arielle Popstar]

2 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

As one who believes that spirituality is a mental process, I think you've made a distinction without a difference.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK53356/

I don't agree but that is perhaps fodder for a  future thread.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, AdminGirl said:

5 minutes ago, Luna Bliss said:

There are many people in SL who exist in RL in a wheelchair, and describe how wonderful it is to feel alive again -- to be able to walk!

It's really not so strange to imagine that some disabled people are hurting and down and out.  I'm sure some aren't. But some are.

No, she's not a Mother Teresa, but I think she wanted to feel good about what she does, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Why are you so insistent on debating this? Pearl has already apologized and I believe she meant it. Your incessant defending of her initial comments is actually doing damage to her apology and not helping her at all.

Robin started it.….           But I have to state my truth as I see it even if some disagree with my interpretation --  I feel Pearl did nothing wrong and that she shouldn't have apologized except to say she's sorry for any hurt disabled people felt  (I believe they misinterpreted things and were looking for a scapegoat to blame).

For myself, I feel sad that disabled people were reminded of this crappy society that devalues those who are not as society says they should be. They should never have to feel bad about themselves or limit their potential, if indeed they do.

[Lillith Hapmouche]

6 minutes ago, So Whimsy said:

Feels like a lion mother defending her cub when no danger is imminent.

A lioness would probably act much smarter and not waste energy on such non-existing issues.

[Drake1 Nightfire]

2 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

When I was escorting I did feel a justification for what I was doing in the sense i was helping out people who were handicapped in their ability to find a willing partner to cyber with from a social aspect. Nothing to do with their R/L circumstances. Are some here too quick to take on the idea that her words were about people who were r/l disabled?

Because she said "I help disabled people feel human again."

Not "i help people who cant find SL relationships." 

[Luna Bliss]

4 minutes ago, Arielle Popstar said:

When I was escorting I did feel a justification for what I was doing in the sense i was helping out people who were handicapped in their ability to find a willing partner to cyber with from a social aspect. Nothing to do with their R/L circumstances. Are some here too quick to take on the idea that her words were about people who were r/l disabled?

Oh you mean some people in SL are roleplaying disability?

[Bagnu]

3 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

It's possible that Mother Teresa was no Mother Theresa.

That's why there is the advocatus diaboli.

[Madelaine McMasters]

Just now, Bagnu said:

advocatus diaboli.

[Luna Bliss]

6 minutes ago, Solar Legion said:

Responding to both of you at once here: That one loves to pretend they're helping. Yes, pretend.

Anyone that dares to point this out is mocked in one way or another and that one just carries on pretending to be a good person ... and people keep buying the act.

I never pretend anything, Solar.  Pretense is about as far away from my repertoire as climbing Mount Everest.

But we should get into the meat of it really, since you constantly accuse me of this.  Why do you think I'm pretending and not real?

[Luna Bliss]

8 minutes ago, Madelaine McMasters said:

14 minutes ago, Bagnu said:

Lol, I'm no mother Teresa, but I like to help people, 

It's possible that Mother Teresa was no Mother Theresa.

Might she have been more saintly than most though?  And while we're at it, what is 'saintly'?    

[Luna Bliss]

We need to bring the "what is love" thread over here, or go over there....

[Bagnu]

Please everyone, there is no point arguing over something where I have already admitted and apologized for my very poor way of expressing something that was meant to be positive. 

[Arielle Popstar]

4 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Because she said "I help disabled people feel human again."

Not "i help people who cant find SL relationships." 

Perhaps not the exact terminology I would have used but hey, the english thesaurus is full of words that are similar but have slightly different connotations. I run into that quite often. Point is whether we are mature enough to give posters the benefit of the doubt instead of creating a huge ongoing thread over the interpretation of one word.

[Luna Bliss]

1 minute ago, Arielle Popstar said:

10 minutes ago, Drake1 Nightfire said:

Because she said "I help disabled people feel human again."

Not "i help people who cant find SL relationships." 

Perhaps not the exact terminology I would have used but hey, the english thesaurus is full of words that are similar but have slightly different connotations. I run into that quite often. Point is whether we are mature enough to give posters the benefit of the doubt instead of creating a huge ongoing thread over the interpretation of one word.

You're not just your pretty little avatar face, eh?

[Bagnu]

I also try to help people who can't find SL relationships. And support my friends when they are in need of it both emotionally and financially.

Edited September 6, 2020 by Bagnu